


Devil's Work (priest!Gerard frerard)

by Headfirst_for_helena



Series: Devils work [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Frerard, M/M, MCR, frank iero - Freeform, gerard way - Freeform, my chemical romance - Freeform, priest!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 113,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Headfirst_for_helena/pseuds/Headfirst_for_helena
Summary: Frank Iero was given two options by his parents: go to juvie or move to England to live with his heavily-catholic relatives. He chose the second, seeing it as a challenge as to how long his aunt and uncle would be able to put up with his troublemaking ass.  Maybe he would've chosen Juvie if he realised just what was waiting for him over the Atlantic ocean, in the form of a hot priest who seemed to be so far in the closet he could've been in Narnia.Frank had always loved to cause a shitstorm, but this was on a whole new level.Rated R for sexual themes/scenes and strong language
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Series: Devils work [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719991
Comments: 13
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: In this fan fiction i do NOT mean to insult anything to do with the church, christianity, religion in general or any other sort of offence really. This is just a fictional story. I know not everything is factually accurate so if you're religious and I got stuff wrong sorry! 

One

Some people just didn't see the beauty in graffiti.

Luckily, i was not one of those closed-minded people, who thought that the only sort of art was the type you saw framed in a gallery. Whereas they would go on about Leonardo DaVinci, my favourite artist would always be Banksy. Whereas they would sit back in a fancy conservatory and paint on their high-end easels, i would do quick doodles on the sides of buildings with my spray can. And guess who got more fun out of it?

Maybe it was because i loved the adrenalin. The fear that would pump through me as i was chased through alleyways and down streets, my bag of spray cans banging and clanging against my hip as i sprinted away from trouble.

Of course, trouble had a habit of following me around. Or rather, i had a habit of chasing after trouble. Call if neglect from my parents, a need to be rebellious to replace my low self esteem or whatever else a councillor would say, but i loved nothing more that to dive into trouble. Not even for the attention, but just as a 'fuck you' to the big society.

My record was... colourful to put it lightly. Frank Anthony Iero, a delinquent seventeen year old who had been expelled from two schools and suspended once from his third. My record contained an array of offences, from setting fire to a caretakers shed, to throwing paint out of a first floor window and then laughing as it hit my old headmistress, covering her in the gloopy mess. And those were just some of the accounts where i was caught.

It was a thursday afternoon, and from what i can remember it was mildly cloudy, maybe a little sun here and there as i crouched down in the pedestrian underpass that lead under one of the big highways leading into Belleville. Nothing seemed unusual about that day to me at the time, but then i wasn't exactly paying much attention to anything except the paint spraying out of my can as i worked away at my piece of art.

"What are you going to call this one?" my friend Pete asked as he lit his cigarette, lips curling around the stick with such ease that you could easily tell he'd been addicted to the killing-device for at least a year. It tempted me, seeing him take a long drag, but i was otherwise preoccupied with my 'street' art.

"I'm thinking either 'The Kid From Yesterday' or 'The Kids From Yesterday' - can't decided weather to go singular or plural" i gave way to a small frown as i thought it over. In fact, i drew back, sinking onto my knees as i took in my latest piece - a hooded boy in scuffed trainers and jeans that were tearing at the seams as he turned his back on a pile of old toys, and instead lit a cigarette. I wasn't sure who it was suppose to be, the idea just came to me the night before and ever since i had had an urge to paint it in large scale. My fingers had practically itched all day to be able to get spraying onto the clean white wall.

"I really don't know why you give so much thought to it" Pete chuckled between drags "it's only a matter of time before they paint over it and it's lost."

Pete had never really understood why i didn't just settle for canvases. I couldn't quite explain why, but the adrenalin and the fact that we could be busted at any moment, accompanied with the cold Jersey wind in my face, made my art the best. It just wasn't the same when i was at home with a sketchbook in front of me.

All the same, he let me drag him all over town to be my watchman whilst i worked, and i was always grateful to him for that. Whatever trouble we got into, he didn't seem to give a shit, much like myself. We'd fast bonded when we first started high school seeing as we'd been in detention together most days, and that friendship had only grown over the years. We had a mutual agreement to always have each other's backs, no matter what.

Pete was use to my last-minute inspiration, to the phone calls at god nows what time asking him to go out tagging with me. He always came along, standing at one end of the underpass or wall, depending on my chosen location, and if anyone came near he would holler to run. It worked well, and we were hardly ever caught.

Of course, it worked better when he didn't bring his fuck buddies along too.

"It's so detailed" Patrick Stump turned from where he was looking out at the other end of the underpass, toying with the ends of his sleeves out of nerves. Why Pete thought it would be a good idea, or even okay with me, to bring his new boyfriend along i didn't know. Not only did it mean i was third wheeling on them both, but it also meant i had to keep an eye on Patrick to make sure he didn't fuck up too badly.

So far he had been okay, just nervous, which i guess was understandable for a kid like him. He was in the year below us, and was completely out of his depth. I could clearly see that he only agreed to come along because Pete had asked him too. And if Pete could do anything, it was sweet talk people until they were wrapped around his finger.

Pete had always been a bit of a player, but i had a feeling this one was different. He wasn't just sleeping with the guy - he was bringing him along to everything he did and even holding hands as they walked down the street, leaving me to walk awkwardly on the path behind them.

It was only because of Pete that i was putting up with the new addition to our group. I knew it would just slow us down if push came to shove, so i was hoping for once that i didn't get caught - normally i wouldn't particularly care, but for Patrick's sake i doubled my speed as i sprayed.

"Thanks" i smiled at him, packing away the cans into my shoulder bag "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell many people that this was me. My parent's are right up in my face at the moment and i don't need it getting back to them."

"Of course" He nodded quickly, glancing at Pete briefly. To say my parents were on my case was an understatement - ever since the incident in which i'd been caught shoplifting cigarettes the previous month they'd made it their mission to try and contain me. Right at that moment they thought i was up in my room studying, after telling them not to dare disturb me.

"Don't worry Iero, i told you, he's cool" Pete rolled his eyes at my overly-cautious behaviour, although i knew if the roles were reversed he'd be the same. "Patty here won't tell a soul." He winked over at his boyfriend, who looked like he was trying his utmost hardest not to blush under Pete's confident gaze.

"Can you both stop making googly eyes and go back to looking out for people? You know, the whole reason you're here and everything?" I snapped a little harder than necessary, but neither of them seemed to mind. Patrick quickly snapped his head back in the direction of the path of the other side, whereas Pete ambled over to his side, looking bored with the whole ordeal. It was obvious that he wanted to go back home with Patrick and pick up wherever they'd left off when i called him up and begged him to come tagging.

"Shit" he cussed, making both me and Patrick spin around to face him "Shit shit shit."

"What? Pete?" I ran over to his end of the bridge and looked out, spotting the cop cars on the side of the road. They were just sitting there, on the lookout for speeding cars no doubt, but i knew that it meant they'd be able to anyone coming in and out from under the bridge.

"They'll be there for at least an hour, maybe all of the afternoon" I hissed "Fuck, Wentz, all you had to do was keep a lookout! What if they come down here, what then? The can's are in my bag for crying out loud!"

"Maybe you could dump the cans...?" Patrick suggested nervously from where he had joined us.

"No" Pete shook his head "They'd scan the barcode, trace it back to the shop, check the CCTV and find out who bought it. Plus Frank here has a record for this stuff. The minute they see him walk out from under here they'll know we've been tagging."

"And they'd recognise you even with your hood up?" He bit his lip nervously as he realised just how much shit we were going to be in. It wasn't much for me when you compared it to my other crimes, but i was guessing this would be Patrick's first offence. The poor kid seemed to have paled as he realised he might well get rounded up by the cops.

"Hell yes, officer McManor would recognise me by my height alone" I grimaced before remembering how worked up Patrick was getting "but don't worry, this is your first offence - they'll probably let you off with a warning." He still didn't looked convinced, and i didn't exactly blame him. He wasn't cut out for that sort of thing and Pete should never have brought him along.

"What are we going to do?" Pete looked liked he wanted to punch something "they're bound to come down here just to check if nothing else. We've tagged here before, goddamn it!"

"We have to run" I spoke calmly, pushing any thoughts of what my parents would do out of my head "it's the only real chance we have. If me and Pete make a run in one direction then Patrick could wait here a minute and run the opposite way - they won't notice him when they're chasing us."

"You can't leave me!" Patrick gulped "what if that doesn't work?"

"The only other option is that you run with us Patty" Pete placed his hands on Patrick's shoulders "what's it going to be?" I had to try my absolute hardest not to drop some sarcastic comment about how he shouldn't even have been there in the first place, or how he should just accept our offer as it was as good as he was going to get.

"I want to come with you. I can't run on my own, you know i'd only get into trouble" he rushed "Holy smokes, what if they catch us?"

"Holy smokes?" I really couldn't help my eyebrow from raising at that "If there was ever a moment to swear properly than this is probably it, you know."

"Leave it Iero" Pete immediately jumped in before Patrick could become too embarrassed. He obviously wasn't that great at swearing either. Why Pete would let himself be so blinded by his little crush not to see how bad an idea bringing Patrick along i didn't know, normally he was really cautious about that sort of thing. "I think we have bigger things to think about, don't you agree?"

"Yeah" I glanced back at my art, still not regretting my choice to come down and create it on a large scale. "Right, we're just going to have to go for it. Okay? Ready?" They both nodded "Right, let's go then."

I didn't wait for them to comment, instead i ran out of the underpass as fast as i could manage. I could hear them keeping up behind me as i flew down the pathway, but unfortunately they were accompanied by the shouts of the cops, who could clearly see us from the top of the bridge. I could only hope that we would have a good enough head start. I was no stranger to being chased like that, and i knew the officers wouldn't give up easily.

Luckily i'd grown up in that city, so i knew all the nooks, crannies and possible escape routes that i could take once i got out of that particular path.

"Stop right there!" One officer yelled, despite the fact that it was obvious we weren't going to. We'd have to have been either incredibly naive or incredibly stupid if we slowed down or even trusted for a moment that they wouldn't arrest us on the spot.

I thought ahead, thinking about the side lane that lead off not too far ahead - if we could get down there then i reckoned we could cut through various people's gardens and then eventually lose the cops. It should have worked perfectly.

Unfortunately, i had been relying on Patrick's feet co-ordination to work perfectly. This was not the case. He stumbled behind me, and although i went into denial about it for a split second, i couldn't deny the fact that even as he managed to catch himself, he was still lagging behind. His breaths were coming thick and fast, and i knew he wasn't cut out for much more.

Now don't get me wrong, i could be a heartless bitch when i wanted to be. But there was something about Patrick Stump that made me feel sorry for him - i couldn't bring myself to cut him lose, even if he still had Pete.

I knew it was stupid even as i was doing it, but i slowed down myself and grabbed him by the arm, pointing ahead of the path.

"Take the sharp left down that little path and keep running whatever you do. Stay with Pete, he'll know where the best short cuts are" Patrick looked like he wanted to complain or ask what i was thinking, but he simply didn't have the breath to do so.

"Iero what are you planning?" Pete yelled over at me from Patrick's other side. But by that point the turning was about to be on us, so i just pushed Patrick forward and pretended to stumble a little. The cops were practically on us, but that didn't mean i wasn't going to go down without a smile.

"Hey McManor, how are you doing?" I asked with a smirk, turning to face the two red faced officers who both dived for me, one grabbing my arms and pinning them behind my back, forcing me onto my knees as McManor just glared down at me.

"Iero, how did i guess?" he drawled sarcastically as i felt my wrists become roughly handcuffed. His colleague wasn't even trying to be gentle, despite how young i was.

"Got me on my knees already huh McManor? I know you missed me but seriously." That earned a rough pulling to my feet my the other officer. Luckily Pete and Patrick had already run ahead and had by that point escaped, so at least my generous deed hadn't gone to waste. I'd probably regret it later on, but i was pleased for then that i'd actually been a decent friend.

"Just shut up Iero, don't make things even worse for yourself" he sighed, flipping out his notebook "Graffiti again, huh? Yet another one to add to your record. Derrick, get him back to the car. I'll call his parents and get them to meet us at the station."

"And now you want to meet my parents, god you're so damn forward" I chuckled dryly, making him wish that he was allowed to hit me. Instead he just pressed his pen to the paper with more pressure as he scribbled away.

"I think we both know i've met your parents more than enough times Iero. I doubt they'll be so forgiving this time too. From what i remember of last time they were getting pretty serious with their threats. About damn time too." He snapped the notebook shut as i was lead back to the squad car, for once going silent as i thought about just how mad my parents were going to be this time. He was right, the threats were getting big now, and i was hoping against hope that it was all talk.

"Oh just piss off McManor, stop pretending you know shit about me" I snapped as he opened the door and Derrick pushed me into the backseat, something i was again no stranger too. In fact i was getting better at adjusting my position so that the handcuffs didn't hurt so much. Normally taggers would just get a slap on the wrists, but as i had been caught doing it so many times before it was more serious for me.

"Do you think the kid's parents will make him take a cell for the night?" Derrick, who i had quickly taken a dislike to, asked McManor as if wasn't even there, sitting right behind him and listening to every word.

"Dunno, they've done it in the past. I have a feeling they'll want to punish him more severely this time" McManor shrugged. Me and the officer had a strange relationship. He despaired of me and i always got a kick out of winding him up. At first he'd tried hard with me, trying to convince me to stay out of trouble. Luckily he quickly caught on that it wasn't going to happen, and left me to it.

I decided that not speaking was probably my best option, so curled up in the back seat, bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them, glaring at the glove compartment like there was no tomorrow.

I hardly even listened to their meaningless conversation about traffic, calling my parents and what they were doing after they got off work that day. Instead i pressed my forehead against the cool glass and stared out the window, wondering where Pete and Patrick got to before they decided it was safe to slow down. Pete owed me, that much i knew. He'd messed the whole thing up by bringing along his boyfriend, who had turned out not to be able to run that well either just to top things off, landing me in the huge pile of shit that i now faced.

"Come on Iero" McManor sighed as we drew up outside the station "let's get this over with." Even he was bored with having to bring me down to the damn place so often. I knew his mind was probably on other things than myself - he was probably thinking about what he'd have for dinner that night or his weekend plans.

"Are they here already?" I asked, earning a stiff nod in reply. My parents must have just beaten us to it, because just as he nodded i spotted my dad's car pulled up in the corner of the parking lot. I was not looking forward to having to ride home in that. I'd rather take the police car than face the wrath of my parents.

"Are you getting out or am i dragging you?" He sighed down at me at me as his partner strode towards the building, obviously thinking me not worth his time and so leaving me for McManor to deal with.

"I'm coming" I grumbled "just thought i should say goodbye to freedom first."

McManor rolled his eyes and watched me climb out of the backseat. He even leaned over and took off my handcuffs, figuring that now my parents were there, there would be no point in running away for me anymore. They all knew i was guilty, so i didn't really have an option but to follow him into the station, all the while trying to guess my punishment. 

\--


	2. Two

Two

The local police station was a drab place, full of assholes who were one step away from prison or kids like myself who only had a matter of chances left before we were shipped off to juvie by our despairing parents. That day there were two guys sitting in the corner, no doubt waiting for their significant others to come and pick them up, whilst a girl who looked a little older than myself was waiting in the corner. From what i heard she'd been shoplifting. She had long bleach blonde hair and a ton of eyeliner on, and was incredibly pretty. I bet she flirted her way out of it.

I wondered again weather i was just admiring her looks or wether i actually felt something towards her. Sometimes i thought i was completely gay, but other times i'd spot a striking woman who'd make me wonder weather i had a few preferences thrown in. My sexuality confused the crap out of me.

"Taylor Momsen?" The officer behind the desk called, and the girl got up with a frustrated groan, throwing her black canvas bag over her shoulder as she did so, and headed towards the desk. She glanced at me sideways and gave me a slight wink as the officer shuffled through her papers. I wasn't in the best of moods to flirt back, especially when i wasn't even sure i was into girls in that way, so i just smiled and watched her be lead off.

"Frank" I was snapped from my thoughts when i heard my father's familiar voice. Him and my mother were standing with McManor, having obviously finished talking to him privately. Neither of my parents showed any sort of emotion as they looked down at me. I guessed they were just going to save their anger for when we were alone.

"The officers have agreed not to press charges on you as they think our discipline will be enough" My mom snapped down at me, a cold edge to her voice that seemed more prominent than usual "so grab your bag and let's go home."

"Why? What's your punishment for me?" I stood up in a second, bag already on. I hated spending any time in that horrid place, and was eager to get out as soon as possible, but then i was also dreading whatever they had in store for me.

"We'll talk at home" My dad walked straight past me and out towards the car, my mom following right behind. I turned to look at McManor, but he just sighed at me with what looked almost like pity. If he felt sorry for me then they must have thought of something pretty damn bad.

Were they finally sending me to juvie? Oh fuck no, there was no way I was going there. I'd be away from any friends I had. Plus I'd no doubt get the crap beaten out of me - especially if I came out that I was interested in guys.

I know my parents hadn't wanted it to come to juvie - they didn't want to send their only son away with a warning mark clearly stamped onto his criminal record. But maybe they had finally decided that enough was enough, and I was about to get shipped off like last weeks trash?

"Get in. We'll talk at home" my dad ordered as he climbed into the drivers seat. I had the sense to sit in the back whilst the two of them took the front, all of us riding along in stony silence. Neither of them looked back at their disappointment of a son, instead focusing on the road ahead. I had no choice but to look at the backs of their head, and sent them both stony glares that they couldn't see.

My parents weren't horrible. They weren't lovely either. They were... average. Ordinary. A couple that married in their mid-thirties and then had me a year later. They worked at typical nine-to-five jobs and had a semi-detached house. They weren't rich, but then they weren't poor either. I got an allowance, my own room, shoes on my feet and clothes on my body all paid for.

People thought that they must have neglected me as a child for me to act out so much, but the truth was i just enjoyed getting a kick out of it. I didn't enjoy it when they found out, i didn't crave attention from them or their punishments. I was just an adrenalin junkie who loved to stir trouble. Sorry for not having a deeper meaning, but it looks like i was just a simple teenage boy who wanted to show the whole world his middle finger.

When i first started to get into trouble, my parents didn't really take much notice. I'd get a scowl or maybe grounded for a few days, and that would be it. Of course as time went on i acted out more and more, the actions slowly getting worse and worse until the threats of juvie started to roll in, Subtle ones at first, about how my mother was losing sleep trying to figure out how to knock some sense into me, and then the time my dad literally placed leaflets about institutions for troubled teens on my desk, warning me that he was more than prepared to ring up every last one.

I never thought they were serious until that day. But when in walked into our living room and they both sat down, i felt my stomach clench. I didn't let them see i was nervous, and instead i just sank down into the nearest chair and watched them with weary eyes. They seemed more disappointed than anything, but i couldn't bring myself to feel that guilty. We weren't a close family and we never would be.

"Go on then" i rolled my eyes, which clearly agitated them both "lay it on me, what's my punishment? Are you finally going to just kick me out?" Instead of snapping back my mom looked nervously over at my dad, confirming my suspicions. "So you are kicking me out" I had to take a deep breath to stop myself from yelling "fan-fucking-tastic."

"Language" my dad snapped automatically.

"Don't tell me to watch my mouth when you're throwing me out. Where is it, huh? Juvie? Or are we going to a fancier version, some sort of reforming home where you won't have to deal with me anymore?" My fists clenched at my sides as the two of them stayed perfectly calm, not even seeming to give a fuck about how they were abandoning me.

"You know we didn't want it to come to this Frank" my mom spoke up "you know how hard we tried with you. But you just never listen. Time after time we've picked up the phone and wondered what you've done this time, and we've had enough."

"You're my parents! You should've thought of that before you had me if you're just going to leave when i do some tagging!" I was having a hard time staying in my seat. I was practically bouncing with anger and i desperately wanted to release it.

"It's not just some tagging though, is it?" My dad ran a had through his receding hairline, which was probably another thing he'd blame me for if he had the chance "it'll be shoplifting tomorrow, arson next week. When will it stop Frank? When you're in jail, when you can't get employed because of your record? Don't you want a future?"

"You know i want an artist career. Last time i checked my plans they didn't have some office job in there" I cried back across the room.

"Oh get realistic! You're not Banksy! You're a trouble teenage boy who thinks that we can do whatever he wants! You don't know when to stop Frank. And we can't keep track of you twenty four seven. We've tried and it's too much for us to handle" his words stung. He knew that all i wanted was to be a street artist, to be the next big thing, to get my name out there and be remembered. Not famous, per say, but remembered.

"We thought you were in your room when you were out today" My mom juts in "we thought you were actually listening for once. And where were you really? Out tagging with your friends. I bet it was that Wentz kid no doubt."

"It wasn't Pete's fault" i automatically jumped in to defend my friend "he was just coming along because i asked him too, so don't drag him into this." Pete may have caused this fuck-up by bringing Patrick along, but he was still my best friend. His name certainly didn't deserved to be dragged through the mud by my parents.

"Oh don't worry, you're the only person we're interested in here" my dad gave a stony snort of cold laughter "after all, it's not Pete Wentz that's going away, is it? He can stay here and keep breaking petty laws without you."

"You didn't answer my question. Where are you sending me? Is it that fancy one in New York? Or the one in New Hampshire? Or are you sending me to that high-security one in Texas? That way there's miles and miles between us." I tried to recall the booklets that had been dumped on my desk a few weeks previously.

"None of them."

"Okay you've really lost me now" I leaned forward so i was perched right on the very edge of my seat "where are you sending me?"

"To live with your cousin" his words hit me hard and the anger really did boil over then.

"Fuck no!" I stood up so quick that neither of them had time to take in what was happening before i'd knocked the coffee table onto it's side "you can't send me to live with that family! They hate me!" My mom let out a shriek and flinched backwards when the coffee table fell onto it's side, but my dad just glared at me.

"We called up your aunt and uncle ages ago and they told us if it ever got to much then to send you to live with them for a while. You should be thankful to them - if they hadn't offered you'd be halfway to Juvie right now."

"It's either there or Juvie Frank" my mom had now composed herself again "what's it going to be?" I stood there, arms crossed and radiating pure fury as i thought over my options. I knew anything would be better than juvie.

My aunt, uncle and cousin lived in England and were heavily-catholic family. We'd visited them about two years previously, and they had a reasonably big house just outside of London. I despised them though. My aunt, who was my mother's sister, was an utter bitch who had always treated me like i was below her. My uncle was beyond strict and seemed against anything and everything that seemed vaguely fun. My cousin Ray and i had never got on. Not that we ever really gave each other a chance, per se, but i didn't exactly want anything to do with him anyway. He was this all-achieving kid that pleased his parents and was loved by everyone but me.

I hated the way my parents would look at him with wistful eyes, wishing i was more like him.

As much as i despised that family, the idea of having the whole fucking atlantic ocean separating me from my parents did tempt me. And their house wasn't far from London. I'd love to get let lose in a city like that. Just imagining the street art there was enough to convince me it was better than juvie. Maybe i could make a name for myself as a London-based artist. That sounded half decent.

"Fine" I all but spat "i'll go live with those freaks. But don't even bother calling me when i'm there because i won't want to talk to either of you. As far as i'm concerned? We're done." I rushed out of the room and up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

I glanced around my bedroom, feeling tears start to prick at my eyes. I refused to cry though, instead i started to angrily empty out my drawers and wardrobe. If my parents wanted me gone, then so be it. I didn't need them anyway. I'd go to England and i'd put up with my family, but if they expected me to be good then they had another thing coming.

I'd make my aunt and uncle's lives hell. It wouldn't be long before i'm kicked out and sent back to my parents. Except by that point i'll be nearly eighteen and freedom will be within touching distance. Maybe i'll just run away to London.

Either way, my relatives should have prepared for a storm of a nephew, because there was no way i was going down without a fight. This thought fuelled me on as i ruthlessly divided up my clothes into things that i could throw out and t-shirts i would actually wear - which basically consisted of band tees and a few plain ones. I threw some jeans and shoes onto the pile and then started sorting through my albums, books and comics, knowing i'd probably have a limited amount of weight for my bag when on the plane. Oh well, i'd get more shoes when i got there if it meant i got to take all my Black Flag albums.

I had just started to sort through my drawer full of electrical devices (my camera, my chargers, etc) when my phone started to ring, the familiar riff of Astro Zombies by Misfits blaring out. I dived over and grabbed it off my bed, seeing that it was Pete calling.

I hesitated for a moment, wondering what he was going to make of the whole thing, and almost decided to hang up and put off talking to him for a bit. However i remembered that if i did that he'd think i was mad at him and probably lose sleep feeling guilty about what happened, which wasn't what i wanted. I didn't want to part with him on bad terms, after all.

"Hey" i sighed instead, leaning back against my bed.

"Frank i'm so sorry man" he started "if i'd know that would happen-"

"Forget it" i replied automatically. "There's no point arguing over who's fault it was."

"But-"

"Seriously Pete, forget it. You didn't know that McManor would be there. Yes, you probably shouldn't have brought Patrick but you got away okay in the end" Pete was the only real friend i had at that moment and i didn't want to lose him too over something petty or stupid.

"We both feel awful, especially me. Have your parents found out?"

"Yeah, they're sending me away" i heard him groan on the other end of the line.

"Where? Juvie?"

"Nope, England to live with my aunt and uncle. It's going to be hell." I kept the phone in one hand and started to drag my suitcase out of my wardrobe with the other. Might as well get prepared. "It's better than Juvie though."

"Shit. When do you leave?"

"I dunno. Probably within the next few days, depending on how quick they can get a plane ticket over there." Who knows, perhaps they had already booked it as soon as they found out i'd been caught again. They'd probably pay extra for a last minute ticket if it meant getting me away quicker.

"It's going to suck around here without you" he sighed "at least England won't be that bad. We went to London last year and it was awesome. You'll like it there." I appreciated him trying to be optimistic, but it really didn't help.

"I'l try and come see you tomorrow or something and we can talk about it more. I'll probably know more details then" I tried to round up the conversation. I wanted some time to think to myself for a while, and i couldn't do that on the phone to Pete.

"Okay. I really am sorry that i got you in this shit though. I never would've brought Patrick along if i'd know. I thought it would be okay, i just wanted to show him what i get up to. I really like him, y'know?"

"I know you do. I wouldn't just help out any random fuck buddy you chose. He was too nice to leave behind anyway" I chuckled despite the situation as i remembered just how nice Patrick had been. He contrasted well with Pete's asshole-like behaviour. At least i was leaving him in good hands. "Just don't fuck it up with him, okay?"

"Kay" he hung up after that. At least he always knew when to end a conversation. I stuck my phone back on my bed and jump slumped against the wall, thinking about the drastic change that had just altered my life.

If my life was a road, then i had come to the major junction. I was about to fly over the atlantic ocean to go and live with relatives i hated in a whole new country, away from my friends and anyone i actually knew. I'd have to change school for the last year or so of my education too. Had my parents even thought that through?

I'd be the new kid there too, the one with a different accent to everyone else and no doubt not worth making friends with seeing as everyone had already settled into their various friendship groups years ago. I leant my head against the wall and closed my eyes, letting out a groan.

Couldn't my life just be simple for once? 

_______________

Sorry if this first bit of the story is dragging out a little, Gerard WILL make an appearance soon!

Thanks!


	3. 3

Three

One Week Later. 

"Are you sure there isn't anything you want me to send over after you get there?" my mom asked me for the tenth time, her voice becoming more annoying with each word to pass through her lips. "It's no trouble-"

"I don't need your pity packages" I snapped, moving past her towards the door with my suitcase in tow "the only good thing i get out of this is not having to see you guys." Maybe i was being a little harsh, but i wanted them to feel hurt. I wanted them to know that i hated what they were doing and that consequently i hated them too.

"Frank Iero don't you dare speak to us that way" my dad growled from where he was standing in the doorway, my passport in his hand.

This was the day. The day they stuck me on a plane and got rid of me. My last week in Belleville had been filled with going through my stuff, finding what i'd need and what could stay. I'd only seen Pete twice, both times he had been apologetic about the whole thing. I managed to divert him off topic by mentioning Patrick though, that normally got him to lighten up. All the same, he was gutted to see me go, as was I.

"I'll talk to you however i please, i don't owe you anything" I ignored his outstretched hand and pulled my own suitcase down the drive, towards the car. I didn't look back at the house - instead i just shoved it in the back and climbed inside. I had about an hour left in my parents presence to annoy the hell out of them before i was gone.

"I know you're angry, but this will be good for you" my mom tried to start a conversation as we pulled out of the driveway and started along the road "Your aunt Isabel's doing us a massive favour here - she's even got you into the local sixth form college."

"Great" i muttered with sarcasm under my breath, before speaking more loudly "She hates me anyway. They all do. Even Ray."

"They don't hate you - they're taking you in for gods sakes!" I bit my tongue so i didn't tell her that they'd probably consider that cussing. They were stricter than strict, especially when it came to the church. I bet they'd be forcing me to go every sunday, so i could kiss my lie-in's goodbye.

I didn't have a problem with church. What i did have problem with is when people tried to shove their religion down your throat and then expect you to just go along with it like you've been brainwashed or something.

"Please don't leave without even speaking to me" my mom's voice pulled me out of my thoughts "i know why you're doing this but i don't want to end on bad terms. We love you, that's why we're doing this. We want you to have a fresh chance, an opportunity to start again where nobody knows you."

"Don't make me speak to you right now because if i do i'll end up speaking my mind, and trust me you won't like what i'm thinking right now" i snapped back before turning to glare outside the window. My parents exchanged a look before the car turned silent.

Both of them tried to make conversation with me at different points on the way to the airport, but i was having none of it. I just blanked them out, and in the end i shoved my headphones in just so the message was crystal clear.

Eventually they gave up, like they always did when it came to me. 

That day i reached a number of conclusions:

1\. Trying to get away from your parents before they can hug you is hard. In fact, getting away from your parents full stop is hard, especially when they're insistent to make doubly sure you get on your plane and don't fuck off somewhere else or try to escape back home. Not that i had anywhere to go anyway.

2\. Duty free chocolate is expensive to buy and quick to consume.

3\. The airport always insist on making you travel to a gate on the other side of the airport just to irritate you.

4\. Take-off is fun.

5\. screaming children on a plane is not.

Seriously. If you're child is young enough to throw a tantrum on a trans-atlantic flight then it shouldn't be on it in the first place. Just stay at home until the kid is old enough to travel without the tears, for everyone's sake.

And finally, i concluded that trying to sleep on an aeroplane is not graceful or comfortable. I tried nonetheless, and got a couple of hours of dozing in, but woke up with a stiff neck and heavy eyes. Luckily the people i was sitting next to weren't so bad, just a woman who was reading quietly and a guy who slept for the whole flight.

We flew in over London and landed smoothly. Take off and landing were always great for me and my love of all things that triggered adrenaline, but once that was over and i was left in an airport to collect my bag, the negativity of my situation kicked in. Especially when i saw my uncle James waiting for me by the exit.

"Frank!" he called out, taking long strides over to me. He didn't hug me, just shook my hand briefly before taking my bag out of my hands "okay flight?"

"Yeah" I nodded groggily.

"Come on, the cars this way" we walked out into the reasonably warm spring air, which was refreshing to me after being cooped up in a plane for so long. He walked ahead of me, and i followed behind on purpose, not wanting to have to converse with him any more than necessary. Of course, i knew it would be unavoidable now that i was living with him.

"Here" we stopped outside his navy blue four-by-four, and i climbed into the front seat as he shoved my bags in the boot of the car. By the time he climbed in i already had my phone out and was turning it off airplane mode. At least my mom had upgraded my contract for me out of pity so i could still text from the UK.

"So" He tapped on the steering wheel in an attempt to distract us from the awkwardness of the situation "i hear you're in need of a fresh start."

"I guess you could say that" i shrugged, not making eye contact. I didn't know why he was bothering to talk about why i was there when it was apparent to the both of us exactly what the situation was. 

"Listen Frank, i'll say this now before we get back home" It must have been important to him because he hadn't started the car yet, meaning he was giving me his full attention "i know you're trouble. I know you like to mess around and provoke people and we've agreed to take you on in order to help you change that, for your sake and your parents. But don't bring our son down with you. Stay away from Ray, understood?"

His tone was hard and powerful, it was obvious that he felt passionately about the distance being kept between me and his son. He probably shouldn't have worried seeing as i hated the little shit anyways, but that inner part of me that loved to stir up trouble couldn't help but raise it's head when he talked like that. It made me want to defy him, to taint his son and make him so angry he just kicks me back across the atlantic.

I could already see a challenge forming in my eyes as i wondered how long it would take before they got sick enough of me that they finally caved and chucked me like my parents had.

I didn't share this plan aloud though, instead i just shrugged and have a 'whatever' that had uncle James tightening his grip on the steering wheel in agitation.

"I mean it Frank. I don't want to fall out over this, especially when you just arrived. But if you interfere with him then you will face the consequences." Little did he know that the more he warned me away, the more desperately i wanted to disobey his wishes.

"Right" I allowed myself a small smirk when he wasn't looking. "So er, how long till we get there?"

"Oh not long, about twenty minutes" he seemed to perk up when i didn't argue over his rule "your aunt's cooking dinner for us. Hey - did you want the radio on?" I grimaced and shook my head in reply.

"No thanks. I don't think you'd like my music taste" i didn't add that most of it was too explicit for the radio to play on air anyway. Unless we listened to Kerrang or something, but i doubted that would go down very well.

"Oh right, no i probably wouldn't" he glanced at my Slipknot t-shirt.

"I think i'll just listen on my headphones though" i knew i was being rude by plugging in to my music right after he'd just driven to the airport to pick me up. He'd probably wanted to talk more, maybe lay down some more ground rules about living with them, but he couldn't exactly refuse me the right to listen to my music, so he just turned back to the road without another word. I shoved my headphones on before he could change his mind and set my metal playlist on shuffle.

After that i just sank back into my seat and watched the british scenery fly by, from the busy London streets and then when they started to thin out, to the towns we passed through. Eventually we turned off into what i would now have to call home.

I remembered the house from our last visit. There was a long driveway with garden on either side, and a few tall oak trees surrounding the house itself. The front that i could see when we parked outside had a large front door and bay windows either side. I didn't know which room would be mine, but i hoped it would be one near the oak trees so i could sneak out, or maybe one over the conservatory roof that jutted out from the side.

We hadn't even stepped inside and i was already planning my escape.

"Frank" My aunt smiled when i reached the door "how was your trip?"

"Okay thanks" I gave a half smile, feeling too tired to get sassy with her already. Might as well let her think she had some sort of chance with me before i crushed her hopes.

We all stepped inside, my uncle still carrying my suitcase for me. The house didn't look like it had changed, except maybe the odd repaint of some of the walls. I could easily recall the layout of the place though, and vaguely remembered where everything was.

"I expect you're tired" Aunt Isabel tried desperately to pick a conversation with me "I've made us all dinner and then you can go sleep off the jet lag if you like. You'll want to be awake for church tomorrow, after all."

"I have to go tomorrow?' That got me a warning look from my uncle, and one of disappointment from Isabel.

"Of course. It's Sunday." She replied curtly, stopping in her tracks to glance me up and down "don't you attend church back in Belleville?"

"Sometimes. I just figured since i just got here and i'm jet lagged and whatnot you wouldn't mind if i missed this one" I cocked an eyebrow ever so slightly, trying to contain my already growing irritation to the couple. They pretended too hard to be the perfect family, probably to make up for all the problems they were trying to hide. If they thought i was just going to go along with that lifestyle then they had another thing coming.

"Don't be obscured, you'll be fine" James crossed his arms in a dominant pose, as if trying to prove his alpha male status. "It's church, not the 800m race. It's this sort of attitude that got you sent here in the first place."

"Excuse me?" I stepped forward and kept his gaze, the two of us staring each other down as if the staring contest would determine who was more of a man. Isabel wiped her hands on her clothes, looking slightly nervous about where the conversation was going. It was probably a good job that Ray walked downstairs then, distracting us all. 

"Hey" He sent me a brief glance, not even bothering to look me in the eye before he turned to his mum "I didn't think they'd be back until later on." He wasn't being rude per se, but he wasn't exactly welcoming me either. He seemed the same as when i last saw him - his hair was maybe a little longer but he hadn't grown much (of course he was still taller than me though- everyone was these days). I wondered if he still played guitar so religiously. It had been one of the few things we'd had in common growing up. I was past caring by that point though - my eyelids were heavy and the thought of a bed waiting for me after dinner was enough to calm me down.

"Which ones mine?" I didn't bother replying to him, instead nodding towards the stairs. Isabel seemed glad that i'd decided to drop it, and so eagerly stepped in to show me to my room before i could change my mind.

"I'll show you, follow me" She forced a smile and headed up the stairs. I took once glance back at where James was still watching me, and then past him into the kitchen where Ray appeared to be fixing himself a sandwich. He looked up from where he was buttering the bread to give me a blank look before retuning to the mundane task, not seeming to care that his cousin had just moved in until further notice.

"You've got the room on the left" Isabel pointed to the door next to the bathroom. I noticed that it was on the opposite side of the house to Ray's room, and a considerable distance from her and my uncle's bedroom too. They'd given me the corner room, furthest away from everyone else, as if that would keep me out of their hair.

I liked it that way through. The less they interfered or tried to show control the better. 

"Ok" I walked into the room, which was a similar size to my old bedroom back in NJ, only this one had navy blue walls, as opposed to the ones i had back home which were covered in various rock band posters to the extent that you could no longer see the wall itself. There was a double bed, which beat my single one back home, and by the looks of things it was perfectly clean and tidy. There was even a matching dark oak wardrobe and chest of drawers for me to shove my clothes in. 

"I'll leave you to unpack - dinner will be about twenty minutes" she scurried away after that, leaving me to sort through all my things in relative peace. It didn't take long for me to unpack - i just threw my clothes into the wardrobe and then placed anything else in the drawers, stacking my CD's on the top. I wondered if they'd mind if i stuck up my posters, and then decided that i didn't really care either way, so grabbed the box that i had brought with me and started to tack them up. Of course, i'd only brought a few, but it was enough to cover the area above my bed and make it feel more like home to me. 

I sighed when i thought about my posters back home, and hoped that my parents wouldn't touch them whilst i was away. In fact i hoped they wouldn't go in my room in general. I wondered about Pete too, and how he was going to cope at school without me. I knew Patrick went to a different school to us, but there were a few good people in our year that he could sit with. There was with Joe Trohnman kid who was always in the music room, and his best friend Josh Franceschi who was a bit of a joker, much like Pete himself. 

I was sure he'd be fine without me, and although i felt a little guilty for thinking it, it made me kind of annoyed that he was going to be able to move on so quickly whilst i was stuck here. The only person i knew within my age group was Ray, and he'd made it clear that he didn't want to spend any time with me whatsoever. Not that i cared - i'd always hated the kid anyway. 

Hopefully i'd find people at my new school that would be able to keep me somewhat sane during my stay. Preferably someone with decent music taste and a taste for stirring up trouble. Although someone who just wanted to talk to me in general would do just fine. Anything else would be a plus. 

Dinner that night was somewhat awkward. I said very little, no matter how much Isabel and James tried to start a conversation. Ray answered when spoken too but was mostly concentrating on his food, whilst I gave short, one word answers to each of their questions. As soon as everyone had finished i denied pudding and went straight to bed. 

They put it down to tiredness, but the truth was i simply couldn't be bothered to talk to them about such idle topics. Instead i stayed up on my phone for an hour or so before passing out, exhausted, in my new bed which smelt a little too clean and sterile for my liking. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Don't fear! Gerard's coming in next chapter! Woo!


	4. 4

Chapter Four

I was woken up the next morning to a knock on my door and my aunt calling through to me to wake up, and that we would leave for church in an hour's time. I made a mumbled reply of 'okay' before she called back to help myself to breakfast. After that i lay in bed, listening to the sound of her retreating footsteps and wondering if there was any way i could get out of going.

Knowing them, i'd probably have to be losing blood by the gallon before they'd let me off. If i was well enough to get out of bed, i'd no doubt have to go with them to church. It wasn't even so much the thought of church that bothered me - it was the thought of going to church with them that i despised. Maybe i could lose them in the crowd, or sit as far as possible away from the three of them.

I rolled out of the bed and sat on the edge of it for a moment, yawning and stretching before i went about the process of getting dressed. I didn't exactly have any smart attire for church, so i pulled on my black jeans (which was about as formal as my arrange of trousers got) and then a navy blue Iron Maiden t-shirt over the top. Seeing as it looked somewhat cloudily outside, i pulled on a plain black hoodie before stepping into my converse and running my hand through my hair a couple of times until i was somewhat happy with it.

When i got downstairs, both Isabel and James noticeably frowned at my outfit before exchanging weary glances with each other.

"You don't happen to have anything.... smarter, do you Frank?" Isabel placed down the cup she was holding.

"No. Why? Do you have a problem with this?" I kept myself calm, but James looked like he wanted to step in all the same. Isabel shot him a look that told him to leave it though, obviously not wanting to anger me when we had to leave shortly.

"No. Never mind" She turned back to the table and watched silently as i picked up a piece of toast, buttered it and then started to wolf it down. It wasn't so much that she didn't have anything to say to me, but more because she didn't want to anger me before we went out in public for the first time. I bet the two of them had made up some story as to why they took me in as opposed to the truth - that my parents were so done with my behaviour that they had no doubt begged them to try and sort me out.

They probably told people that i was over here to spend time with them or some crap like that. Maybe they'd told the neighbours that my mother had had a nervous breakdown, or that i simply needed 'guidance'. No way would they tell people that i was a graffiti artist slash criminal in the making.

Ray came downstairs then. Although he had grey skinny jeans on, he had added a button up black shirt over the top so that he seemed smarter dressed. He'd also combed his hair, which really didn't do him any favours. James looked up from where he was standing near the door for a moment just to glance between the two of us. His eyes landed on me, shooting me a warning look before walking out of the room.

Every time he got touchy about Ray it just made me want to corrupt him even more. It was a shame he was such an asswipe, otherwise maybe i might have a shot at actually turning him into someone with an ounce of fun in their being. 

After a short car journey, for which i had my headphones in for the entire duration, we arrived at their local church. It wasn't actually as old as i thought it would be - bearing in mind that i was expecting some cold, medieval building. Instead i saw that the church had been refurbished recently. Sure, there were still stain glass windows and a bell tower, but once we stepped inside i saw that there was wooden flooring, padded seats and and doors leading off to where the kids creche no doubt was held.

"Mass starts in fifteen minutes" James said to me as we walked inside "you can wander off for now, but i expect you back for that. We'll be sitting around the middle of the rows. If you can't find us then just take a seat at the back. And whatever you do, please be polite."

"Kay" I nodded, not really giving a shit. It sounded to me like a way out if anything. I'd just go wondering, say i got lost, and then lie and tell them i stood at the back for the service, whilst instead i could go wandering off for the next hour or so.

Before they could say any more to me i walked off through one of the side doors, which lead into what i presumed was an extension of the original church. It was obviously a reasonably new building because whereas the church itself had stone walls, these were just plain brick.

I walked past the various meeting rooms and kids group areas and then came to a flight of spiralling stairs that lead upwards. Although there wasn't a particular sign saying not to go up, i still got the feeling from it's hidden placement that it wasn't meant for the general congregation. Of course, this just made me venture on up with even more determination.

I came to a lounge-type area. There were two sofas and a coffee table in the centre of the room, a desk with a computer to the right and to the left a door leading off to what i presumed was a bathroom. The room also held a coffee maker and a copy of the bible which was lying on the table, a dozen bookmarks jutting out.

I was about to turn and leave when i spotted it. Sitting on the sofa was a shoulder bag, and falling out of it was a newly-bought Metallica CD. My eyes lit up when i saw it, and although it wasn't mine i couldn't help but walk over and check to see which one it was.

I was about halfway across the room when the door to the left opened, and a man stepped out.

"Hey" he smiled with a New Jersey accent that matched my own "can i help you?"

Hell yes you can a part of my brain commented as i took him in. His hair was this perfectly messed up black and came to just below his ears, and his eyes were this vivid hazel colour that went well with the pale skin. At first, i didn't notice the priest collar. Until my eyes travelled down from his face and spotted it sitting prominently in the middle of his neck. How could a priest be this hot? I'd always imagined priests to be older and well, not hot. This guy was though. Instead of wearing typical robes he had on black skinny jeans and a black shirt to match.

"Oh, hi" I made myself speak when i realised i'd gone silent. "Sorry, i'm new here, i didn't know this was private."

"Hey - New Jersey?" He picked up on my accent and i gave a small nod "awesome. I'm from there too" he stepped further into the room "I'm Gerard Way, i'm the father's apprentice here. Well, technically i'm one of the ministers too. This is my first placement." Well that explained how he was so young and attractive, but also confirmed that he was a priest and probably against gays in general. I had better stomp out my ogling before he noticed and told my aunt and uncle. Me being gay or bi or whatever i was exactly would be the icing on the cake to them.

"I'm Frank Iero."

"Oh right. Are you James and Isabel's nephew? I heard you were coming over but i didn't realise you were arriving so soon" He didn't seem to care that i was up there when it looked like it was actually just meant for the people who worked within the church, so i did him the courtesy of being polite for once and answering his questions.

"I didn't realise either" I gave a short laugh but stopped when he frowned. He looked like he was about to ask exactly what i meant, so i diverted the subject "hey - is that your Metallica CD?"

"Oh, yeah" He picked it up "you a fan?"

"Majorly" I nodded quickly "I didn't really have priests down as rock fans" i didn't really have priests down as people i'd like to fuck either, but here we are. Thank god priest's weren't mind readers, or i'd be condemned for sure.

"Stereotypes are harsh" he shrugged "most people think i'm too young to be in this job anyway. Or that my ideas are too out of the box. Everyone adjusts to me in time though." He placed the CD back in his bag "so you don't sound too fond of your aunt and uncle - is that why you're up here and not down with them now?"

"As much as i'm sure they're good people to the church, i can't say i'm exactly a fan of that family" I pick my words carefully. I've never met this guy before and just because he's somewhat attractive doesn't mean i want to go spilling my personal details to him "which is bad luck for me seeing as i have to live with them now."

"Have to? Are you under 18 then?"

"What can I say? Being seventeen is kind of suckish" He was about to reply with something more detailed when he glanced over at the clock behind me.

"Is that the time?" His eyes widened considerably "oh sh.. I mean, never mind. I have to go - the service is about to start. See you around Frank" he made a beeline for the door, but turned around at the last minute "oh, and good luck with James and Isabel."

He ran out of the room then, not seeming to care that I didn't follow him. I let out a low chuckle when he left, remembering how he came so close to swearing in front of me. Somehow i don't think the church would have approved of that.

He seemed so untraditional for a priest. I know he was young and just starting out, but to have jet black hair, a shade that was obviously dyed that way, and to be listening to heavy rock made me rethink my views on vicars in general. Part of me even wanted to go to the service simply to see what he was like amongst the congregation. However that would have meant sitting if not with then near my aunt, uncle and cousin.

I glanced around the room. Technically, if it was for the ministers there, then nobody would come up until the end of the service. I could sit on my phone for a while, maybe steal a coffee from the machine and be out of there before anyone noticed. I could even slip back into the service at the end and pretend i'd been there the whole time.

I set about making myself a coffee and placed one headphone into my ear, deciding to leave one out so that if anyone did come up i would have some sort of warning. I didn't need to be so cautious though - nobody came for the next half an hour. After that i got pretty bored, so i made my way back downstairs and started to wander around the back of the church, into the garden outside. The walled garden tempted me, with it's boring brickwork just screaming at me to get my spray paints.

It was then that i remembered my spray paints were back home. There wasn't any point in bringing them seeing as there was hardly anything left in the cans. Plus if my parents had seen them in the suitcase they would've probably exploded. I'd left them in the corner of my room when I was packing, but i still spotted them in the bin on the morning i left. No doubt my dad had grabbed them the first opportunity he could. Part of me had wanted to fish them back out and spray a message just for them, perhaps all over the bathroom mirror, but i had resisted.

I don't know why i didn't. I think part of me just didn't want any interaction with them whatsoever, even if it was a negative one.

As i walked along the wall, hands shoved into my pockets, i wondered where i could re-stock on paints. There must have been somewhere nearby where i could grab some. Hopefully someone at school would know when i started there the next day. If not, i'd just have to locate the art department and 'borrow' the odd can.

The sound of singing reached my ears, and i checked my phone to see that i'd been wandering around outside for longer than I had originally thought. The service would be ending any minute now, so i should probably get my ass in there before my uncle and aunt clued into the fact that i hadn't be present for any of it.

I almost-jogged back into the building and hurried down the corridor. I could hear the song coming to an end and knew i needed to pick up the pace, so started to jog along the long corridor. I was so nearly there, and despite the fact that i could hear the last few notes of the song being drawn out i knew i'd be able to pass it off.

Unfortunately for me, that was when i turned a sharp corner and collided into someone else. We were both knocked backwards, and i would have fallen flat on my back if a strong hand hadn't reached out and grabbed my forearm, pulling me back into a standing position.

"Sorry" I looked up to see Gerard, eyes wide in apology "I didn't think anyone would be back here. Frank - right?" He'd obviously come straight from the service, probably to grab an extra bible or go to the toilet ahead of everyone else.

"Sorry, yeah" I stepped in the direction of the location that i was suppose to already be in.

"How come you're weren't in the service?" He crossed his arms, making me come to a halt and turn to face him.

"How do you know i wasn't?" I kept my tone guarded. He could've been trying to make me confess simply because he'd made a guess that i wouldn't be in there. Although i doubted he knew much about my past - James and Isabel would've sugar coated it, especially when it came to the priest.

"It may have escaped your notice, but this in this church we have communion" He leaned against the wall, one leg jutting out in front of the other "and when we have communion, it means that people are required to go up in their rows and have a blessing."

"Wait - that happens here?" Now it was my turn to let my eyes grow wide. "As in, row by row going up in front of everyone?"

"Yep" He stepped closer "and i looked out for you and i definitely didn't miss you, so that's how i know you weren't there. So are you going to tell me where you were?" Part of me wanted to linger on the fact that he'd been watching out for me, but i was too distracted by the fact that what he said meant that my family would know i hadn't been there for the whole time.

"I don't have to tell you anything" I rolled my eyes - I really couldn't help myself "If i want to skip then i can. It's not like i legally have to attend your service." Gerard raised an eyebrow, and looked like he was going to say more when James appeared at the end of the corridor, looking beyond angry.

"Frank, why the - oh, Father Way. Sorry, i didn't see you there" He immediately backtracked when he spotted Gerard standing by me.

"No worries" Gerard gave a small nod, watching as James came closer, trying to keep a hold of his temper in front of the father and failing.

"Where were you? We couldn't see you in there anywhere. Can't you just do something like you're told for once?" His voice was low whisper, but we all heard loud and clear. I didn't care wether I caused a scene or not - in fact if it meant embarrassing him then it was worth it, but I didn't really want to display the whole thing in front of Gerard.

"I was there" I huffed "you must have not spotted me, that's all." He looked even less convinced than officer McManor had three months previously when I'd sworn that I hadn't hijacked the school intercom and broadcasted a whole string of bullshit about the principal. Which, to be fair, I was completely guilty for and even caught on CCTV.

"Don't insult my intelligence by lying to me to blatantly. And in front of the father too, who do you think you are?" He was really crumbling now, and both me and Gerard could see it.

"James, he's telling the truth" that shocked both my uncle and me, as we both turned to look at Gerard.

"What?" He tried to keep a calm tone when talking to the priest, despite how much he probably wanted I throttle me.

"You heard me correctly. I was conducting communion as you know, and I saw Frank come up. I guess his height doesn't do him much of an advantage in situations like that" he even added a small chuckle on the end, brushing away the conversation like it was nothing. James had no choice but to believe him - he was the priest, after all, and slowly I watched his anger ebb away.

"Oh. I guess I could have missed him" he seemed almost embarrassed by that point "well, come on then Frank. We better go find everyone else." He started to lead us away then, back towards the crowd of people that would probably judge me the moment they saw me.

I turned to look back at Gerard, but he was already walking in the opposite direction, his back to me so that i couldn't even see his expression now that James wasn't looking.

I had no idea why he had covered for me so quickly, especially as it involved lying in his place of work and worship, but he had done so effortlessly and without hesitation. Maybe he disliked James, or maybe he was trying to give me another chance. I wish I knew. Surely that wasn't normal behaviour for a priest?

"In future, you sit with us" James snapped, bringing me out of my thoughts. I couldn't really argue back when i'd just so narrowly escaped from him finding out the truth, so I simply nodded and walked out onto the grass at the front of the church with him.

"Come on" we reached the other two 'Let's get going." He kept his tone light and cheerful so that my aunt would drop the matter at hand, but i could still sense an underlying irritation towards me in his tone. He could do nothing but believe father Way, but at the same time he was having a hard time putting his suspicions to bed. I knew he didn't trust me, but he did trust Gerard, and so for the rest of the day it was never mentioned again.

At least there seemed to be someone willing to have my back, even if it was just out of compassion. 

____________________________________________________________________________


	5. 5

Five

When Monday rolled around I really wasn't amused. 

The clouds outside my window covered the sky in a thick, grey blanket which easily matched my mood. My converses were scuffed at the toe, my jeans wearing at the seams and the temperature meaning i was unsure wether or not to take a jacket or a coat. Luckily the sixth form i was attending was non-uniform. I don't think i would've coped if they'd made me turn up in shirt and tie. It was bad enough having to get up at seven AM as it was.

Plus, seeing as i didn't have a car yet, Ray was going to have to drive me. He'd turned seventeen a few months before me and of course his parents had brought him a brand new car to celebrate the occasion. He'd passed his test first time and as of a month previously owned a license. I would have caught the train or bus instead, but that would've meant getting up even earlier and i was not willing to sacrifice any sleep. 

By the time i'd grabbed some breakfast and headed outside, Ray was already sitting in his car, waiting patiently for me to get a move on. I jumped into the passenger seat and slammed the door, turning around to face him. 

"Hey" I decided to go with a more friendly approach. Maybe i could win him over first, then show him how much more fun everything was when you bent the rules a little here and there. 

"Hey" He relied back in a short, uninterested tone. I sighed, trying to find something to talk about, and spotted his guitar case resting in the back. 

"You still play then" I smiled, nodding back at his interment "I do too, but I had to leave mine back home. Maybe I could borrow one of yours sometime?" The thought of being able to have a guitar again was enough to make me want to get in his good books. 

"I don't know about that. The music block has some practice rooms you could use though, if you really want to play." At least he was giving more than one word answers now. Perhaps guitar was the way to go when it came to breaking down his walls. 

"That sounds good. Is that where you go?" 

"Sometimes" he shrugged, turning onto the main road "It's a reasonably sized place, you'll get the hang of it in no time." That sounded almost-caring. Perhaps he was softening with age, and might actually want to give me a chance. He'd always been the golden child - aren't they suppose to want to be friends with everyone?

"Will i have any classes with you?"

"No. I've seen your timetable and we're not together for anything. We're taking different subjects."

"Oh. What do you take?" I thought back to my own choices - Music and English. They had been obvious choice for me as they were the only things i really excelled in. In everything else i was somewhat mediocre. Average. Ordinary. So to be told that i was overachieving in music and creative writing had been the last piece to confirm my choices. Of course, I had to take English lit too, but i didn't mind that one either. 

"Maths, Biology and Chemistry" He didn't exactly seem over-enthusiastic about his choices. 

"What about music? I thought you were a genius on guitar?" I remember how once when i was younger and learning guitar, my dad had made some side comment about how Ray was already exceptional the instrument. It was a good job i didn't give a fuck about his opinion, otherwise the comment would've probably hurt. 

"Yeah, but my parents talked me out of it. It wasn't academic enough for their approval" was that a hint of bitterness i detected in his tone of voice? Could he actually be angry with his perfect family? 

"Well that's shit. It's not even their choice anyway" I huffed, irritated by the whole prospect of his parents choosing his future for him "it's yours to decide what you take - it's not like it's them who has to turn up everyday and study the damn subject. Why didn't you chose it anyway?" 

"When it comes to my parents...." he hesitated for a moment "well, it's just easier to agree rather than disagree. Otherwise you get rows and family meetings and if you're really unlucky then you get a lecture too." 

"Then argue back" I added like it was the most simple solution in the world "they don't own you and they have to accept that" As i spoke we turned into the school car park. "Seriously, I think we'd get on a lot better if you had a bit of backbone for once." 

Ray didn't say anything for a moment, and i was about to just jump out of the car when he turned to face me. "Do you need any help getting to the main reception?" He dropped the subject, and I went with it, hoping he'd got the message. 

"Nah, i'll be alright. See you later." 

After a long conversation with the deputy head about school rules, prospects and general day to day life, i was sent on my way to my first class. I took my time, not really wanting to go through the long introductions but at the same time figuring that bunking a lesson on the first day really wasn't the best start in the world. 

I had English first, and after a few minutes or waiting as the teacher chose me a seat and welcome me to the group, I found myself sitting down next to a guy with a shock of bright pink hair. 

"Hey there freshmeat" he grinned, extending a bony hand "so what's the name of the kid that has the pleasure of sitting next to me?" I decided i liked him. As far as first impressions go, the hair probably won me over. He seemed overly confident, maybe cocky too, but i had a feeling he was well liked for it. 

"I'm Frank" I cautiously took his hand and shook it "I just moved from New Jersey." 

"I'm little Jimmy Urine, the one and only. Here to make you laugh, cry and moan" He exclaimed, not caring who heard us "so, how come you jumped the pond?" 

"I er, got kicked out my parents and sent over here to live with my cousin" I decided i might as well tell the truth - it wasn't like i had anything to hide in particular, and i had a feeling that Jimmy would probably just laugh at the situation and then move on.

"Seriously? What did you do?" 

"A mixture of shit really. Mainly tagging, with the odd bit or arson and theft thrown in. They just got fed up and sent me packing." 

"What dickheads. Who's your cousin?" He drummed his pencil on the desk in a small tune, not even looking down at the work he was suppose to be doing. I got the feeling that he, like me, didn't really tend to make an effort until the night before the final exam, which was around the time that i would panic and cram as if my life depended on it. 

"Ray Toro?" 

"Ahh yeah, I know him" He nodded "the one with the fro that shreds on the guitar. Kind of quiet though, i don't really see him out anywhere. He hangs out with a bunch of the guys in the music block and yet he doesn't take the subject" He laughed at that "what's he like at home?" 

"I dunno, I haven't been here long enough to tell. I think my aunt and uncle walk all over him though - i'm planning on showing him how to liven things up a bit, once he trust me that is." Perhaps Jimmy could help me later on, seeing as he knew the area and probably had an idea of Ray's friends. 

"Sounds fun. Hey - you got anyone to sit with at lunch? Because you seem like a nice enough guy and i think you'll fit in well with my group" he was incredibly forward, i'll give him that "besides, you said you were good at tagging -right?" 

"Yeah, i love it" i nodded eagerly "Why? Do you know somewhere that I could get some paint? Because i've run out at the moment and i'm desperate to get going again."

"Yeah I know a shop in town. We could go after school if you like? I've gotta head that way anyway, and otherwise i'm just going to go pester every friend I have to come hang out until someone gets round to murdering me once and for all."

"Well, for the sake of your life, yes. I'll come" I chuckled, and he gave a small whoop.

"It's a date!" He clapped his hands together, and burst out laughing when he saw my chuckles turn to nervous ones "oh don't worry sunshine, i don't swing that way. Although if you do then that's fine. Believe it or not, i do actually have a hot girlfriend."

"And does this girlfriend know that you're even together?" I teased. 

"I should hope so" I turned around to see a girl with a bleach blonde fringe and ponytail standing behind us. The under layers of her hair were a dark blonde shade, which contrasted well for an unusual effect. She was wearing tight black jeans, a scoop neck blue t-shirt and a leather jacket flung on top. Her voice was loud and seemed to boom across the room and back within seconds, but not even that was as fast as the amount of time it took for her to lean over and kiss Jimmy. 

"Hey baby" he grinned up at her "what're you doing here?"

"Handing in an essay" She gave him a wink "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" 

"Oh yeah, This is Frank. Frank, this is my girlfriend Chantal." He gestured between the two of us. She glanced me up and down before resting her gaze on my Misfits t-shirt. 

"Do you listen to them?" She pointed towards my shirt "Or do you just wear the shirt to look edgy?" I had a feeling that this was my make or break question as to wether i became her friend, so it was a good job i was confident in my answer. 

"Of course i listen to them. I wouldn't wear the fucking t-shirt otherwise" i rolled my eyes, and her stare turned into a smile. 

"In that case, welcome to the group" and with that she turned and headed back out of the door. 

At lunchtime i met the rest of Jimmy's gang of friends. There was Chantal obviously, and her friends Lindsey and Kitty. They all seemed pretty badass, and when i talked to Lindsey it actually helped a bit with my ever-turbulent sexuality. She was obviously hot - with long legs, black hair, red lips, the lot. And yet I didn't feel sexually attracted to her. Sure, I could appreciate that she was good looking, but I just didn't feel the electricity that i'd felt when i'd met Gerard the previous day. 

Fuck, that sounded bad. I shouldn't have felt that way about a priest. Not then, not ever. And yet there i was. 

The rest of Jimmy's gang consisted of a guy named Steve, who didn't seem too friendly at first but eventually warmed to me, and then two guys called Kellin and Oli, who seemed to have a bit of a love/hate relationship between the two of them. Oli would steal Kellin's chips, and then Kellin would proceed to whack him around the head with his water bottle, both of them laughing the whole time. Jimmy had tipped me off beforehand that the two liked to bicker, but always resolved things by the end of the day. 

"They're a bit of a personality clash" he'd explained beforehand "mainly because they're both so similar. They both want their own way all the time and always think their opinion to be right. They do each other good though" and then, before he could get too deep and emotional, he added "Plus i don't think it's long before they give in to that tension and just screw each other." 

After a long lunch of being questioned by what appeared to be my new group of friends (if i played my cards right and didn't fuck it up, that is) I went to Music, which i had with Kellin and Oli. Kellin turned out to be a pretty awesome singer, whilst Oli could scream like no one i'd ever heard before. I sat down on guitar and we started to mess around, making up a song where Kellin could sing the clean vocals for extra effect, a bit Of Mice & Men style.

"So Jimmy tells us you got kicked out of home" Oli asked later on as we sat in the practice room, the guitars by our sides as we leaned against the walls and talked, having a well-earned break.

"Yeah" I nodded, and he smiled. 

"Don't worry, my parents tend to threaten me every other week with that. I don't think they'd send me over the atlantic ocean though, that really harsh" He frowned a little "And if they did i probably wouldn't speak to them for like, the rest of my life." 

"That's the plan" I picked up the guitar and started to strum it gently whilst still talking "But first of all i'm going to make my aunt and uncle regret ever agreeing to take me in." 

"Wouldn't it just be easier to stay out of their way?" Kellin asked, his eyebrow raised ever so slightly "I mean, even if they kick you out then your parents won't want you back. They'll pack you off to juvie instead." 

"It won't come to that" I stretched "I just need to piss them off, not make them hate my guts." Kellin and Oli both nodded, seeming like they were on board, although Kellin seemed more skeptical that Oli, who was all for causing shitstorms by the looks of it.

'Welcome to your new local town!" Jimmy declared after school, as the two of us walked through the city centre. Oli and Kellin had walked into the area with us, but had to go meet up with their friends Jesse and Jordan, so had left the two of us. 

"It's actually not that bad" i admitted, looking at the wide variety of shops, and the park that sat off to one side. There was a big fountain in the middle of the centre square, and a whole load of school kids were sitting around it, their hoodies pulled up over their uniforms. 

"Eh, it does the job" Jimmy shrugged "Of course, i prefer going up to London. Chantal does a few singing gigs up there on the weekends, you should come along sometime. Anyway, the shop we need is this way." He lead me down a side street and i followed him after taking a few swigs of my coke can. 

"And they defiantly sell the right spray paint?" He just dragged me around the corner, and let the shop speak for itself. It was pretty awesome as far as shops went - with big windows so that you could see inside and spot all the art supplies, skateboards, hoodies, hats, gloves and anything else a teenager might need. 

"Steve's friends with the owner, so it's fine" He dragged me inside and started to pull me past the various displays and racks until we reached what we were looking for - the spray paints. My eyes went big with greed as i started to grab one of every colour, glad that my parents had upped my allowance in an attempt to win me round. 

"Dude, the shop isn't going anywhere - you can always come back for more" Jimmy chuckled when he saw the amount of cans in my arms. 

"I need them all" I hugged them closer to my chest "can you take some of these for me for a second whilst I look around?" He held up a finger and disappeared, coming back a moment later with a basket for me to place them in. 

"That's the end of the paints" He explained as i looked around "I mean, we're got the smoke bombs and fireworks over here, and if you go further back then you can find a load of horror movies, but there's nothing that important." 

I eyed the fireworks, and before i could think about it grabbed a load, adding them to the basket. Maybe they could prove handy at a later date? Jimmy didn't comment, just laughed under his breath and waited for me as i payed for the lot. 

"You could come back to mine for a bit?" I asked once we were back outside and wondering aimlessly around the streets, not really having anywhere else to go. He raised an eyebrow in response.

"Yeah because you're aunt and uncle and really going to want me in their house." He was the sort of person who seemed to just emit sarcasm like a tree emits oxygen. 

"Do i look like i give a fuck what they think? They didn't tell me not to have friends round, so I really don't see a problem with it" I snapped at no one in particular, mainly aiming my gaze at the floor "Sorry, it just irritates me that they have so much control now, as if they think that they're my parents all of a sudden. It just makes me want to show them that they can't control me and never will." 

"I know how you feel man" Jimmy smiled "but all the same, i still don't really want to have to go and meet them just yet. How about we do something a bit more fun?" There was a glint to his eyes that informed me that whatever he had planned i was going to love and hopefully give me a kick of adrenalin that I had been lacking recently. 

"Tell me more" I turned to give him my full attention, any thoughts of my family long forgotten. 

____________________________________________________________________


	6. 6

Six

It turned out that Jimmy's plan consisted of us, a bottle of cheap Vodka, and the local park. Apparently the one with a playground on was set on the other side on town, meaning that this one was overrun with teenagers. Luckily it was a big place, so it was easy for us to find a spot underneath a particularly big tree to swig down the bottle. It was almost peaceful, in a way, to be sitting under the large branches and passing the bottle back and forth. 

We'd also grabbed some squash to mix in with the stuff, just so that we wouldn't gag whilst drinking it. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a lightweight, but the taste of vodka wasn't something i wanted to endure. But by mixing it with a few drops of blackcurrant squash, the taste quickly became bearable. 

"This, believe it or not, is big in the way of pick-up grounds" Jimmy said between sips "I mean, there isn't really many places for everyone our age to hang out, so most people tend to flock here and end up getting off behind the toilets or something." 

"Classy" I muttered, making him laugh. 

"Only if you want it to be" He passed me the bottle "me and Chanty use to spend quite a few evenings down here when we were first starting to date. You know, before we were at the stage of going back to each other's houses. But seriously, if you're interested in having some fun then i can probably point out a few girls that-" 

"Er" i talked over him, stopping him from going any further when i was already uninterested "as much as i appreciate the offer, i'm not really sure that it's girls i like, if you know what i mean" His eyes widened a little, but his smile didn't flicker. 

"Oh, you're one for cute boys" He took the bottle back off me and had a gulp before scanning the park "Well, i'll admit that it does lower the amount of options, but there's still plenty of people to have some fun with." 

"I'm really not interested in giving blow jobs in the bushes Jimmy, but thanks for the consideration" We both started laughing at that, probably because we were getting tipsy by that point, maybe even a little drunk. 

"Well if you change your mind then i'll hook you up" He dropped the subject then, thank god. I was glad he'd taken the whole 'not straight' think so well. I knew he'd be cool with it, simply because he was that sort of person. He wasn't an asshole, and actually saw that sexuality was just a part of someone's personality, and not something to judge upon. 

"How long until you need to be home?" I asked him, noticing that we'd made a considerable dent in the Vodka. I could fell my thought take on a fuzzy sensation, and a slight wobbliness appear in my arms and legs. It was a weird sensation that had me feeling a little more giggly than normal. Luckily i was a happy drunk for the most part, unlike Pete who would start to bawl about his life the moment he got tipsy. Either than or he'd get sexual, which is about the time when you have you pour water down his throat.

"Eh, my parents won't be that bothered about what time i get back. Why? Are you missing your beloved relatives already?" He nudged my side and i gave him a playful punch to the arm. 

"Fuck off, you know i hate them. I just wanted to know how long i can stay out with you until i'm forced to go back to that place." 

"You know, if you really want to get back at them then maybe we should go tagging" he nodded his head towards my bag "I mean, you have the paints on you right now. We could go paint an message saying exactly what we think." 

"I don't really tend to spray messages or words, just artwork. It speaks for itself, really" I explained, and unlike Pete he seemed to get it. 

"Even better. You could paint your emotions - be artistic and a a dick at the same time. All the best ones are anyway" He gestured to himself as he spoke, making another stream of laughter erupt from my mouth. 

"Come on then" I stood up "let's go tag something before one of these guys tries to hit on us, if your theory is true" I knew he wouldn't lie, but i guessed he'd probably over-exaggerated the importance of the park in the local teenager lifestyle. 

"Of course it is" He stood with me, passing me the bottle as he did up his jacket "Now the question is, where to tag? How close to their house are we willing to risk going? Because if you want them to know it was you then we could even go for the side of the house, but if you want them to only suspect then we should go a little further." 

"I was thinking maybe down the road, perhaps on that wall near the end of the street" in my mind i was already thinking of my options as to what to paint, my fingers itching to put these thoughts into motion. I could have a Virgin Atlantic plane crashing into hell, or a picture of a perfect family with demonic-like shadows. 

"Sure, let's go." And with that we took off in the direction of my new house. I refused to call it a home yet. So for now, it would remain my temporary residence. 

"Are you sure you don't want to spray a little further away?" Jimmy asked, placing the half empty vodka bottle down as i started to unzip my bag. Maybe if i wasn't tipsy i would've listened to him, but at that moment in time i didn't give a shit. 

"Nah, I know what i'm doing" I was about to reach down and grab the black can when a familiar voice rang out, causing me to stop and spin around, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 

"Frank!" James yelled out the window of his car. The sun was still in the process of setting, meaning that he'd seen me clearly and without a doubt. At first i wondered why he sounded so angry - all I was doing was standing next to a wall with Jimmy - but then i remembered the bottle of vodka that was currently by my feet. 

"Is that your uncle?" Jimmy asked from behind me, and i gave a small nod in response "Shit, do you mind if i get out of here? Families don't exactly tend to be fond of people like me. I wouldn't do your case any good." 

"Just go" I said, not taking my eyes off of James as he parked the car a few feet ahead and started to climb out "and take your Vodka with you or it'll just get tipped down the sink" Jimmy took my advice and grabbed the bottle before running off down the alleyway that lead behind the wall, a flash of pink hair and grey jeans. 

"Frank" James repeated again, coming closer to me. He was dressed in a formal suit where he'd been working all day at his fancy-ass job as a banker. When we last came to visit I always use to call him The Wanker Banker, but I tried not to think about that at that point as I knew it would only make me smile. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"Not a lot" I shrugged, acting innocent until proven guilty, as i often did. I knew he'd seen the bottle and Jimmy, but I'd always had a policy to deny everything in the hopes that I could at least get away with something. 

"Don't lie to me" He grabbed me by the arm, something i didn't appreciate in the slightest, and looked right into my eyes, practically spitting in my face when he spoke again "I saw you with that alcohol, there's no denying it. As for that boy? I don't know who he was or who he thinks he is, but let me tell you know that if you think we're just going to sit back and let you fall in with the wrong crowd then you're wrong." 

"Let me? You're not my fucking parents. So what? I had a drink. It wasn't even mine anyway!" Maybe if I had a temper i could actually control then I would have backed down at that point. Accepted defeat and tried to talk him down. But instead I didn't think, just let my emotions take control as I yelled. "I know you only took me in out of guilt, so stop pretending you care!" 

"Frank-" 

"No! Just leave me alone!" I pulled myself roughly out of his grip and picked up my bag from the floor, throwing it over my shoulder and letting it knock against my side. "I'm not interested in what you have to say about what I do or who i'm friends with." 

"Tough!" he yelled after me when I started to storm down the road. He left his car parked where it was and followed me from about two paces behind, mainly because I don't think he could keep up with the speed I was walking at. "Luckily we anticipated you acting out and have already made arrangements." That made me stop in my tracks and turn to face him. 

"What arrangements?" I made quotation marks with my fingers as i spoke, the anger running through my veins so quickly that it made my whole body feel hot. A horrible sense of deja vu washed over me as i thought about how my parents had made arrangements for me to be sent there in the first place. Not that I really had much to lose anymore. 

I had already lost my whole life as I knew it - my home, my friends, even my guitar which couldn't be shipped over until a later date. The only thing I had left to lose was the few possessions i'd brought with me and the little freedom I still had left. 

"We told the church that we were having... difficulties... with you, and father Way agreed that if we wanted someone to keep an eye on you then he would help. I'm going to call the church office as soon as i get in and arrange for you to go and help with the maintenance work there after school. Every day." 

"What?" I cried out, thinking back to the church. Father Way had seemed okay, and yet there he was offering to help punish me? I'd thought he was a decent guy, and yet there he was, just another adult against me. "Every day?" 

"Yes. You'll go straight from school. That should prevent you from going off to get drunk with a crowd like the one that pink boy was no doubt from." He talked about Jimmy like he was above him, and yet he knew nothing about him. For all he knew, Jimmy could be a millionaire, or the next big sports star, and yet he judged him on the basis that he was willing to hang out with me. 

"You're literally going to send me to a church. What are you going to do next - try and exorcise me? I bet you'd love that." I almost laughed at how unreasonable he was being. I guess that was why my parents sent me to live with him - they knew he'd rule his house with an iron fist and come down hard on me if I broke his precious rules. 

"Don't be ridiculous" He sighed, running a hand through his receding hairline. "And calm down before you go inside - your aunt doesn't need to have to deal with this too." I just rolled my eyes and started towards the house "I mean it Frank - or i'll up how long you spend at the church every day. Don't think I won't." 

I just walked straight into the house, stormed past where Ray and Isabel were standing in the kitchen without even acknowledging them, and straight up the stairs. When I got to my room, I slammed the door behind me and collapsed onto my bed, resisting the urge to rip my pillow to shreds. 

Part of me wanted to just pack my things and run away, but the more logical part of my brain reminded me that I had nowhere to go, and if spending an hour or two at the church everyday after school meant I got a bed at night and food on my plate then it was worth it, no matter how much I hated it. 

The worst bit was I wasn't even caught doing something particularly bad. Most teenagers go and get drunk with their friends at some point - even Ray had probably experienced it behind his loving parent's backs. If i was going to get caught, it could've at least been doing something I was passionate about, like tagging yet again or telling someone what I really thought. 

I pulled my old laptop onto my lap and logged in, my Skype app popping up instantly and informing me that I had five new messages from user PetemothefuckinWentz, all telling me to get my ass online so we could talk. 

That made me smile. I send him a message back telling him to calm down, that I could Skype right then if he was still there. Instead of bothering to reply to my message he just called me straight away, and i eagerly accepted the video call. 

"Hey loser" He cried, his face now filling my computer screen. I could see that he was sitting on his bed, his bass guitar lying by his side where he had no doubt been practicing before i messaged him back. It made me miss our jamming sessions to see the instrument there. "I miss you!" 

"I miss you too dude" I chuckled "How is it there without me?" 

"Crap" He pouted "I mean, i've been spending loads of time with Patrick recently, but it's just not the same now I can't come around yours afterwards and talk about it." 

"You can talk to me over here" I moved so i was leaning against the edge of my bed "I know how head over heels you are for the guy." 

"Oh shut up, I doubt you want to know about my love life." 

"Love life? Do you love him?" he went quiet for a moment, which was seriously unusual for him, before answering with a sigh. 

"Yeah. He told me yesterday he loved me, and i think i'll tell him tomorrow that i feel the same way" That sounded like Pete. He tended to let other people make the first move when it came to the emotional stuff. When it came to things like asking out on dates or hitting on each other? Well that's when Pete would always jump in first. 

"Do it. Don't leave the guy hanging" I was glad one of us had something to be happy about. 

"What about you?" He diverted the subject "How's your family over there? Did you make any new friends?" He sounded almost like a parent when he talked like that. In fact he was probably closer to me than either of my actual parents. 

"Yeah I made some pretty cool friends. You'd like them, especially Jimmy. He's mental in the best way possible" I smirked at the thought of my new all-pink friend who may or not be on some sort of substance. Either that or he's just simply insane.

"Good. What about the dragons?" he used my old nickname for my aunt and uncle "especially The Wanker Banker, is he still as irritating?" 

"Even more so now that he's responsible for me" I rolled my eyes "He caught me and Jimmy with some vodka earlier and now he's arranging for me to spend time every day after school helping out at the fucking church." 

"Jesus" Pete's eyes widened "every day? Will you have to like, talk to the priests and repent your sins or something?" 

"Nah, I met one of the priests who works there and he's actually okay. I mean, there's another priest that's in charge, but Gerard is working with him there. It's like an apprenticeship or something before he goes on to run a church on his own." 

"Apprenticeship? So he's young then." 

"Yeah, probably early twenties" I shrugged "So at least i won't have to spend my afternoons with some old guy who'll try to recite the bible to me every five minutes." 

"When do you start?" 

"I don't know. Knowing James, he'll probably have it arranged for tomorrow. Anything to turn me into the perfect nephew." 

"Well good luck" he frowned "it sounds like you're going to need it." 

"Thanks Pete" I sighed "Oh, and tell Patrick how you feel. It's obvious that you two are a good match. Don't make him think you don't feel the same way - I got the impression he was a pretty sensitive guy." 

"Yeah you're right" Pete nods "You know what? Screw it, i'm going to go tell him right now" A look of determination flooded his features "I'll go round his house. Thanks for the talk Frank - speak to you soon yeah?" 

"Definitely" I smiled "Good luck." And with that i hung up the call, feeling happy for Pete and Patrick. It was refreshing to see people that were genuinely in love, and not just together for the sake of sex and lust. 

Talking to Pete had definitely made me feel better about the previous events of the day, and lightened my mood to the extent that i managed to go down and eat dinner without causing a row with either my aunt or uncle. Of course, I had to bite my tongue when James started to talk about my new punishment. 

"You're starting after school tomorrow. You can go straight there and come back when Father Way is satisfied that you've done a reasonable amount of work." I just nodded, and spotted Ray glancing over at me nervously, obviously expecting more of a reaction. I didn't give one though, I just finished my food in record time before retreating to my room and spending the rest of the evening watching online episodes of The Walking Dead. 

_________________

Just so you know, James and Isabel are completely made up, and James is not suppose to be James Dewees. Just in case you were wondering. They're just regular characters.


	7. 7

Seven

After a long day of school I found myself making my way to the church. The day had been okay so far, with Steve trying to shove Jimmy in a bin, Lynz lending me one of her cigarettes and me and Oli making up some awesome riffs on the guitars in music. I'd much rather have hung out with them all in the park after school - even if it meant getting off with semi-attractive people in the bushes - but instead i was going to hang out with a fucking preist for the remainder of the afternoon.

At least he liked Metallica. And was attractive. I guessed that if i was really bored I could just check him out or something. Although part of me thought it was kind of forbidden. Not that I was ever one to follow the rules in the first place...

The building loomed up ahead of me and i found myself walking slower in a futile attempt to spend less time there. Of course, eventually i reached the double doors that were wide open, probably some metaphor about how God was all-welcoming. I stepped inside, and for the sake of their heating bills closed the door behind me, wondering where Gerard actually was.

"Hello?" I called out, walking into the main chapel. For a second I didn't see Gerard, and then I looked to my left and saw him balancing on a ladder about ten feet into the air as he polished the organ's pipes. My eyes travelled to his tight jeans, wondering if it should even be legal for a priest to have such a nice ass, probably helped by said black jeans. He was wearing a black shirt again with his priests collar hanging where a tie would have otherwise been, his hair reaching just below his ears. I guessed that that must have been his usual attire for work.

"Frank! Hey!" he spun to face me, his welcoming smile in place. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in. I'll come down." He threw the cloth down to the floor and started to climb down the ladder, skipping the last step and just jumping down. He seemed to just radiate energy and general positivity, which was probably the direct opposite of myself. I was the one leaning against one of the pews with my arms crossed over my chest and a bored expression no doubt already taking over my face.

"Do you want a drink or something?" He walked past me towards the doors that lead back into the extended part of the church, leaving me no option but to follow "Because i'm dying for a coffee, I can make you one too?"

"No thanks, i've got a drink" I pull out my can on coke that I grabbed on the way "but er, thanks anyway."

"No problem" he lead me through the corridor and towards the stairs that lead back up to his office/lounge area "take a seat whilst I make one then." He gestured to the sofa and i perched on the edge, watching him turn the coffee machine on.

"Aren't you going to tell me what my punishment for today's going to be?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at how relaxed he was being. He was treating the whole thing like I had an option as to wether i wanted to be there or not, like I had chosen to come and have fucking coffee with him or something.

"Punishment? I'm not going to make you scrub the floors with a toothbrush, you know" He turned to look at me with a slight eye roll "You're here because your uncle would rather you were somewhere where you won't get into trouble, as opposed to being out with your friends that he dosen't trust you around. I know you don't want to be here, but we might as well try and make it pleasant - right?"

"Look, are you seriously going to make me stay here every day and expect me to find it pleasant?" I held back from laughing "There's nothing pleasant about this. My uncle's a dick and he thinks that by sending me to spend time here all my problems are just going to disappear. He's just worried that the police will catch me tagging, and then his reputation will be tainted."

"You go tagging then?" He seems vaguely interested "As in, spray paint on walls?"

"Yeah" my expression turns to a guarded one "why?"

"Nothing, i'm just interested in art" he turned back to finish making his coffee.

"At least you consider it art" I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me "most people just see it as vandalism. Especially the police. They don't really take the whole modern art thing into account when they're charging you down at the station."

"You've been caught for it a few times then?" He turns back to me with a full mug of coffee "Is that why you were sent over here?" It was getting a bit too personal for my liking, and i considered changing the subject, but then figured he'd probably only get more persistant.

"Among an array of things" i answered vaguely "not that it matters anyway. My parents aren't worth talking about."

"Really? Why?"

"Can we stop with the questions?" I snapped a little too harshly "I don't want to discuss my personal life with you like it's some sort of interrogation." I wasn't sure wether he wanted to know because he cared or because he just found it interesting, but I didn't really think about it too much.

"Right. Sorry" He didn't snap back, which was a good thing for him as I was feeling agitated. "You can ask me questions if you like, even it out a little bit." He probably shouldn't have been so vague on exactly what sort of questions I could ask, seeing as when I wanted to, I could get pretty creative.

"Okay. Are you on of those celibate priests who hate sex?" I asked with a blank tone, making him choke slightly on the mouthful of coffee he'd just taken, spitting some of it out onto the carpet in shock at how blunt I was being.

"N-no" He spluttered "I mean, why are you asking? I, er... that's a very personal question Frank."

"And asking me why my parents kicked me out and sent me packing over the atlantic ocean wasn't?" I raised an eyebrow "Besides, I'm only asking because i'm curious. Do you have to wait until you're married or what?"

"Can we drop the sex topic?" He all but begged "Why don't you ask me something that dosen't involve something quite so explicit?"

"Okay, fine" I took pity on his embarrassed expression, which was turning the tips of his ears pink "No more sex talk. Hmm, what else could I ask you...."

"Maybe we should stop the questions now and start doing something productive" He rushed before I could think up another embarrassing subject "I was thinking we could finish polishing the organ, and then if we have time left over we could come back up here for a bit. We've got a CD player - you said you like Metallica, right?"

"Hell yes" I grinned, before realising i'd just mildly sworn in front of him. He didn't try to correct me, in fact I don't think he even seemed to notice. Probably because he grew up in the generation right before mine, meaning he'd been surrounded by swearing and bad language throughout high school. "Which album have you got with you?"

"The black one" He laughed when he saw my smile widen "I take it you love that one then?"

"Of course" I brought my bag with me as we made our way back down the stairs, Gerard balancing the CD player on his hip as he walked, meaning he had to sway his hips a little more than usual in order to keep it from slipping. I tried not to look, honestly I did, but it was sort of impossible when I was walking right behind him.

"I know we said no more questions" I said about twenty minutes later. "But I have a good one." We were currently sitting in the main church. Gerard was back on the ladder, but lower down on it now, as he polished away. I was taking my precious time as i cleaned the keys of the instrument, going slowly around every edge as if it was some sort of protest. If he noticed my snail pace, then he didn't comment on it, instead just tapping his foot along to the drum beat of 'Nothing Else Matters.'

"Is it explicit?" He cast a weary eye down towards me, his eyebrow curved upwards, creating a few lines of distrust to appear on his forehead. Obviously he was still embarrassed over my last question, although personally I thought it had been pretty interesting.

"No." I held my hands up in surrender "Totally PG."

"Okay, shoot" He turned back to the pipes and continued to spray the polish onto them.

"Why become a priest?" I asked bluntly. He waited for me to elaborate, so I did "I mean, it isn't really something many people consider growing up as a career. What made you want to work here? Especially when you're what - 20? 21?"

"I'll be 22 next month" He took a moment before he responded to the rest of the question "I guess it was because of my old church back home. My grandma passed away when i was your age, and so as a result i spent a lot of time in the graveyard, which slowly transformed into spending a lot of time in the church. There was this one priest who worked there who never asked what was wrong, just if there was anything he could do to help, and i admired that about him. So many people just want to know the problem, but actually don't make a solution."

"But surely there were other career paths that would've come more naturally to you?" It was such a heavy job for a 22 year old guy to want to tie himself down to.

"Oh yeah. I've always wanted to be a comic book artist. Ever since i picked up my first comic and drew my first character it's been a dream of mine. But my family and everyone else, even my teachers, advised me to go for a more stable career. This was always something I figured i'd be good at - for the helping people side if anything - and when I had to start choosing options for college and careers in general, I just ended up... drifting here. Before i could look back, I was being offered a place here as experience. Now I work with Father Schetcher in this church, end of story." His voice had a far away tone to it as he got deeper and deeper into the story, which slowly but surely sucked me in.

"That dosen't sound like the right way to go about things" I frowned "If you really wanted to do comics then surely you could have at least tried to make it first?"

"The only person who seemed to think I had a chance was my brother" he sighed "but i'm happy here now. I have a purpose, I guide people, I advise people. It's a good job. It makes me feel like a better person to be here."

"Whatever you say" I shrugged "I just thought it was better to give our A-plan dreams at least a shot before we resorted to plan B." Maybe I said it not quite as kindly as I should've, it coming out as more of a dig that a thought spoken aloud, because his fist's clenched a little around the duster.

"And what's your plan A? Jail? Be realistic about life Frank" He muttered under his breath, but I heard him loud and clear. He spun around to see if I'd heard, and I guess my face must have portrayed a fraction of the hurt that I was feeling inside, because guilt flooded his face. "Frank, I didn't mean -"

"Forget it, you're probably right" I dropped the cleaning materials on the stone ground and stood up, my lips set in a hard line as i tried to pretend that his words hadn't stung me. It was stupid, but for a moment I thought he might actually have some faith in me. I knew that it was mostly my own fault that people expected the worst from me, but deep down I knew I went tagging because it was what I enjoyed.

It may have been an unrealistic dream, but I couldn't help but think that if Banksy made it, then why couldn't I?

Street art was my talent. It was the only thing I could ever picture myself doing. Sometimes i fucked up, I got caught doing things I shouldn't be in attempt to feel alive and I accepted that I was anything but perfect.

And yet a part of me had liked the way Gerard hadn't judged me straight away. He seemed to give me a chance. He made me feel like in his eyes I wasn't automatically the troublemaking teen, that I could have more than one chance. So when he spun that back around and came out with a comment like that, it cut deeper than if it had come from someone i'd known for my whole life.

"Frank - wait. Where are you going?" he called after me as i walked towards the door of the church. I could hear him frantically scrambling down the ladder, but I ignored it, my anger at not only the world, but myself too, growing with each step I took.

"I don't know. Away from here" I snapped back without looking around, just heading straight towards the main doors. However before i reached them, I felt Gerard's hand close around my wrist, pulling me to a stop. I tried to pull away, but ended up just turning to face him.

"I'm sorry" He sighed, still holding onto my wrist. It made me feel... weird. I couldn't describe the feeling that skin-to-skin contact gave me. It was definitely different to the way I felt when Pete dragged me along somewhere, or when me and Jimmy's hands bumped as we passed the bottle back and forth. This felt... giddy. "I'm so sorry Frank, I never should've said that. I don't think that at all I just-"

"It's okay Gerard" I pried my hand out of his grip "everyone thinks it too. You don't need to lie. I know how people see me. Just..." I trailed off, trying to put my emotions into words "don't preach to me about my mistakes, i'm already well aware of them."

"Woah, Frank I didn't mean it, I was being bitter, I wish I could take it back, really I do" He carried on following me, even when I reached the door, my hand closing around the handle as I took a deep breath.

"I'm going now. See you tomorrow, I guess" I replied in a cold tone, opening the door and being met with the cold evening wind that blew in and made my cheeks turns to ice. I probably wasn't due back at the house for a while, but I figured I'd just walk really slowly back, maybe stop for a bit along the way. I definitely didn't want to stay there. If I did, then I'd only show Gerard that I felt hurt by what he'd said, and probably have to put up with him apologising out of pity no doubt.

"Please don't leave yet" He called after me when I walked out of the door.

"See you tomorrow, Gerard" I said without looking back, heading right out of the church grounds. He didn't call after me again, knowing that my mind was made up. Deep down I knew that i was being a bit dramatic about the whole thing, and taking out my frustration on Gerard as he seemed like as good a target as anyone else.

In the fifteen minute walk home, my temper cooled right down. I walked slowly, meaning that what should have taken me fifteen minutes actually ended up being a twenty five minute stroll. Even when I did reach my house I waited outside for a few minutes, fishing out a cigarette Lynz had given me and lighting it up. I let the posions roll through me as I took long, addictive drags of the thin white stick, flicking the hot embers onto the path when i was finished. Yet another thing my aunt and uncle didn't know about me, and certainly wouldn't find out about me either if I had anything to do with it.

I wasn't particularly addicted to smoking, I just enjoyed having the odd drag when I was stressed or just feeling down. I stomped the thing out and turned to head inside, nearly shitting myself when I came face to face with Ray.

He was sitting on a tyre swing, under the tree in the corner of the garden. I hadn't even noticed the thing before, although now that I looked at it vague memories of playing on it as a child came flooding back.

"So you smoke too?" He asked, not actually seeming to be judging me.

"Sometimes" i shrugged, jumping the low fence so that we were on the same side of the garden. "What are you doing out here?"

"Practicing" He nodded to his guitar, which was lying at his feet on the ground "It's easier out here where nobody can hear you if you mess up." I stared wistfully down at the guitar. It was a fender, and far nicer than my one back home. But right then I would've taken the shittiest guitar in the world if it meant I got to practice.

"Nice guitar" I came a little closer, trying not to stare at it too much.

"Go on" he surprised me "I can see how much you want to play it. And if I moved away and couldn't take mine with me then I think i'd die a little inside" He picked it up and held it out to me with an open smile.

"You mean it?" He nodded, and I took the instrument into my hands. He handed me his pick too, and I sat down on the grass, giving it a few gentle strums to check it was in tune before I started to play the first song that came to mind.

"The Dope Show - Marilyn Manson, right?" Ray asked from where he still sat on the swing.

"You listen to Marilyn Manson?" My eyes really widened then. "As in, THE Marilyn Manson. The rockstar." I would've thought he was wrong if he hadn't got the song right too.

"Yeah" He chuckled "My parents aren't really aware of my music taste these days. We don't really talk about it, which is a good thing as I don't think they'd approve of some of the stuff I listen to. It's mainly punk-rocks bands, but I also like some of the heavier stuff."

"Woah, I had you down as more of a smooth jazz guy" I laughed.

"Really? Smooth Jazz?" He laughed too "Just because I don't wear the t-shirts constantly like you dosen't mean i'm not a big rock fan. I just don't really mention it to many people..."

"Well maybe we have more in common than we originally thought" I turned back to the guitar, continuing to strum the song until it came to a close. Ray sat there and listened in the dying sunlight, seeming impressed with my guitar skills.

"Obviously ask first, but you can practice on my guitar more often if you like" He smiled after a moment.

"Thank you" I handed it back to him "seriously. That means loads."

"How was church?" He asked, changing the subject "Did father Way make you do much work?"

"A little" I shrugged, being vague "I didn't stay that long anyway. I don't see this whole scheme lasting very long anyway." I had to bite my tongue not to say exactly what I thought about his dad for suggesting the whole thing, figuring I better not ruin it in case he got defensive. After all, some people actually liked their parents.

"Oh really? What are you going to do - burn the bibles? Hail satan?" He shook his head "I doubt that anything you do to try and get you chucked out of those sessions will only convince my dad and the father than you need them even more."

"Ray!" We both snapped out heads in the direction of the house, where Isabel was leaning out the window, looking like she was trying to conceal how irritated she was by the fact that the two of us were sitting outside and actually getting along "Come inside! I need help with laying the table!" I knew she was lying just to get him away from me, and from the expression on his face he knew it too.

All the same, he stood up, grabbed his guitar and shot me a fleeting smile before heading into the house. At least Ray wasn't as bad as I had originally though, which was a comfort seeing as I was stuck living with him now.

Him offering for me to practice on his guitar had really lifted my mood and made me realise that I shouldn't have been so upset by what Gerard said. It was the truth, after all, and he seemed generally apologetic. I wished I had his number so that I could text him to let him know I was over it, but instead I knew my apology would have to wait for the next day.

___________________________________________________________


	8. 8

Eight

"So this church thing is every day?" Jimmy asked as we walked out of school the next day. His hair seemed ever more vibrant that normal, if that was even possible. On anyone else, bright pink hair just wouldn't have worked for a guy their age. They would've no doubt got teased or at least called a fag, but it just matched Jimmy's erratic and crazy personality. No one even seemed to question it, not even the jock-type guys of the year or the semi-popular crowd. 

"Yep. Every fucking day. Right after school. Apparently it'll help me sort my attitude out" I gave a dry chuckle "We'll see about that." 

"That sucks. Is there any way you could bunk off something? Me and Steve are going round Oli's to play videogames and probably piss around, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come but I guess it's not possible." 

"Not today" i didn't add that I really did need to go that day as I felt I needed to clear the air with Gerard "But I don't have to go on Saturdays or Sunday afternoons, so maybe I could come along then?" 

"Sure" He nodded "As long as you can shake your uncle for a few hours then it should be great." 

"Oh don't worry, i'm not going to let him control my life. I'm only going to these church sessions for a bit anyway. Once he calms down a bit i'll start bunking off more. Maybe I can get Gerard to cover for me." 

"Gerard? You're on first names terms with this priest?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah I guess so." 

"Oh, I thought you had to call them the father or something. They don't normally introduce themselves with their first name. Although I guess the church has probably changed since I last attended." 

"He's younger than normal" I shrugged "So I guess he dosen't really mind stuff like that. Anyway, I have to go. See you tomorrow" I was aware that I needed to get a move on, otherwise Gerard might not think I was going to show up. I did not want him phoning James or Isabel to ask where I was or if I was coming. 

"See ya" Jimmy called after me, before heading off in his own direction. I immediately shoved my headphones in and started to blast AFI, the sound of '17 Crimes' filling my ears as I walked at a steady pace. 

It didn't take me long to reach the church. Once again I closed the door behind me and stepped inside, wondering where Gerard was and exactly what I was going to say. It was only now that I was there that I actually wondered what I should say about yesterday. I hoped he'd bring it up first and set the record straight. 

"Hello? Gerard?" I called out, hitching my shoulder bag higher up as I made my way into the main part of the church. He wasn't there, and I heard a muffled call of my name from the direction of his office, so I headed up the stairs, my features breaking out into a grin when i stepped into the room. 

Gerard was standing there with two coffees in his hands and a apologetic smile on his features. 

"I didn't know if you were going to turn up" He held out the coffee "I hoped you would, and I got you a decent coffee too." I took it without saying anything and then had a long gulp before speaking. 

"I'm sorry I over reacted yesterday" I stated, hoping he'd leave it and just move on. I didn't want to go into what he'd said, as even though I knew it was nothing, it still upset me that he didn't have any faith in me either. 

"No I'm sorry, I was a twat" He sighed "And I mean it when I say I didn't mean it. I was feeling bitter because what you said was true - I didn't give my dream a chance - and so I took it out on you instead of actually listening to what you were saying." 

"Really?" I looked up at him with cautious eyes. 

"Yes really. Why do you find that so hard to believe?" He set down his already-empty cup on the table and crossed his arms, leaning back onto the arm on the sofa as he watched me for my answer. 

"I guess not a lot of people really have much faith in me any more" I mumbled, but he heard my confession loud and clear "Everyone tends to give up on me after a while and just accept that i'm a no-good kid that'll end up on the streets. You don't think it now, but you will eventually, once you truly get to know me." 

"Hey" He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, probably because he didn't really know where else he could touch me and it still be appropriate "I know we only met a few days ago, but I do have faith in you Frank. Even if nobody else does, okay?" 

"You do for now" I forced myself to hold his eye contact and not chicken out and stare at my own feet. His eyes seemed to hold me in place, stopping me from moving away from him or even feeling self conscious about the hand on my arm. "But you won't forever." 

"You don't know me well enough to make that judgment. I have faith in you Frank and that's not going to change with time. People who say that you're not going anywhere are wrong - i'm sure you'll make it in the end. It's perfectly normal to feel like you're going nowhere when you're seventeen, but that'll change."

"I wish I could believe you" I sighed "But the way people treated your comic book dream? That's the way people treat my entire life. So sorry if I can't muster up a smile and convince myself that it's all going to be okay." The stress of my future was threatening to overspill by this point. Most people my age seemed to know what career they wanted, or at least a vague idea of the line of work they would enjoy, but I was still stuck spraying walls and searching for inspiration that could never come to me. 

The thought of everyone else moving on and growing up to get jobs and families whilst i was stuck out on the streets with a spray can and the weight of crushed aspirations on my mind was enough to cause my vision to blur. I'd meant to just clear the air with Gerard and then get on with whatever task needed doing, and yet there I was, on the edge of a breakdown just because he felt like the only person I could truly vent to in privacy. 

"Hey" Before I knew what was happening Gerard had wrapped both of his arms around me in a hug "Don't get so upset. I know what it's like to feel like the world is against you, but it really won't help anything if you worry about it." I just made a small sound of agreement in response, too busy getting use to the feeling of him being so close to me. 

It felt like ages since someone had hugged me, and at first it all felt so alien that it took me a moment to hug him back. I wouldn't admit it aloud, but I liked the feeling that it gave me to hug him. The way it made me feel like he wasn't against me, but actually there for me. He smelled good too, and when he pulled away i felt the slight stubble on his chin brush against my cheek. 

"Thanks" I smiled, meaning it "It means a lot that you know how I feel." 

"Anytime" He nodded "Now, is it okay if you help me out with the kitchen? I need to sort out what we're running low on and write down a shopping list to pick up on my way home. You wouldn't believe the amount of tea and coffee we get through in the week." 

"Well, judging by the fact that you have your own machine up here, I think I would" I glanced over at the machine that it seemed only he and the other minister had access too. "Where is the other minister anyway? Father Schetcher, wasn't it?" 

"Oh, Brian's away visiting relatives in Australia this month. He'll be back in three weeks time. Until then, I'm completely and solely in charge." He shrugged as we made our way down the stairs. 

"What's he like?" 

"He's okay. I'm not sure how well the two of you would get on though. He isn't that great with teenagers, and he's pretty good pals with your uncle" I made a face of disgust that had him laughing "I thought that would put you off." 

"That's enough to put anyone off. How are people friends with James? Does he even have an hobbies? What would they do with him?" The image of James going out for coffee or anything less than a suit and tie meal was beyond me. 

"I think they play tennis together or something, I don't know. I don't involve myself with their friendship. James likes me, but he wouldn't want to be friends with me. I think he finds me a bit too... artistic?" 

"I guess anyone vaguely interesting would be too much for him" I followed him into the kitchen "If you don't stick to the rulebook and take everything seriously then he'll look down on you." 

"Well then it's a good job I don't care" Gerard just grinned at me, before turning back to the task at hand. 

The rest of the afternoon spent with Gerard was reasonably uneventful. Neither of us talked about the scene upstairs in which we'd hugged and I'd basically admitted to how shitty I'd been feeling, but I had a feeling that it was on his mind as well as mine. I wondered if the hug had felt good to him too, or wether it had just been an average affair of him comforting a teenage boy in need of someone to trust. 

Either way, we got on pretty well. The mall tasks that needed doing were soon completed, and part of me almost felt reluctant to leave when he turned and said goodbye. He didn't hug me again, but it was a friendly goodbye all the same. 

"I'll see you tomorrow then" I couldn't help but smile.

"Yep, I'll get you a coffee again" He nodded from where he too was pulling on his faded leather jacket, ready to go home. "And Frank?" 

"Yeah?" I turned from where I stood in the doorway. 

"Don't let your aunt or uncle get to you, okay? I have faith in you, remember?" He seemed to genuine that for once I really did feel like I was the one above everyone else, instead of how it usually felt when everyone looked down on me. 

"Thanks Gerard" I smiled before heading out the door. 

"Are you sure you don't want a lift home?" He called after me "I'm leaving now anyway and it's getting cold out here." 

"Nah, I like the walk. Thanks for the offer though" I called back before exiting the church. It was a very different scene to when I had stormed out the day before, and at this point I actually felt happy. Gerard sparked off something within me, similar to the feeling I got when I was tagging out on the streets. It was this rush of emotions that made me feel alive. 

I wasn't ignorant to the point where I couldn't acknowledge the crush I had on him. It was small, but forming and growing with every moment I spent with him. It was stupid of me to crush on an almost-twenty-two year old priest who was most probably straight (even though his jeans really were tight) and would never look twice at me. 

All the same, I couldn't stop it, only hope that soon my heart would get over itself and start to think more realistically about who we should or shouldn't develop crushes for. 

I tried not to think too hard about our hug as I walked home. Or the way he'd smelled. Or his smile when he laughed at my jokes. I hated how young and foolish I sounded to even want to have a chance with him, and instead focused on when I could start tagging again. I'd have Saturday with Jimmy - maybe I could get some done then? 

I'd have to find a good wall or empty building where nobody would catch me. As much as I loved to ruffle James's feathers, I really didn't want to be in the shit with him for a little while longer. He was still angry about the vodka incident, after all. 

When I stepped inside the house the smell of dinner cooking hit me first, but I wads quickly put off when I realised exactly what those smells included once i broke them down. I made my way into the kitchen, where sure enough Isabel was cooking meat. 

"Um, Isabel?" I asked from the doorway, making her jump slightly as she spun to face me. 

"Oh, hello Frank. How was church?" She pretended to care, although I could see right through her act. What she really wanted to know was wether i'd seen the error in my ways, been converted away from the world of sin and decided to be the perfect nephew. 

"Ok" I shrugged, disappointing her but not caring. "Um, is that meat you're cooking?" 

"Yes, chicken. Why?" She answered blankly, confirming my suspicions that my own mum had told her next to nothing about my living arrangements. Honestly, you'd think if she sent her son to live with her sister then she'd at least remember to mention that I was a vegetarian? Who did she think was going to be cooking my meals? The tooth fairy? 

"Oh, I don't eat meat. Sorry" I grimaced, seeing her try to swallow her anger and fail. 

"What do you mean, you don't eat meat? Why didn't you tell us straight away? Is this just you trying to be difficult and cause us greif?" She stepped away from the oven and threw her hands in the air in dismay. 

"No I just don't eat meat. I've been a vegetarian since I was nine years old" I replied with an eye roll. It probably wasn't my best move, but I was past caring by that stage "And I thought you would've already known." 

"Well I've cooked it now! What am I suppose to do? Just magic a plate of quorn onto the table? It's this or nothing Frank." 

"Fine" I snapped "I'll go get myself a takeaway instead. I'd rather eat out on the streets than with you anyway" And with that I stormed out of the room, ignoring the insults that were no doubt flying after me, and right out of the house, my previously good mood shattered. I picked my bag up on the way out, knowing there was a bit of money thrown in there.

I hated the pair of them with a passion. Ray was okay, but his parents? The mere thought of them made me want to punch a wall. How I was going to stand living with them for much longer was beyond me. 

I didn't really know my way around, so I just headed for town and found a shop selling takeaway Chinese food. I bought some noodles and spring rolls before sitting down on a park bench, the same park me and Jimmy had been in a few days perviously, and ate my food there. 

The park seemed so much more sinister at night. The once pretty bushes were now full of dark, moving shadows. The trees, which had once been full of life, now just looked like their branches were arms, reaching out towards me, claws extended. I'd never particularly liked the dark, and even thought I was only at the edge of the park I knew that I wasn't comfortable. 

I ate my food noisily, pretending not to care as i munched down the prawn crackers and ate mouthful upon mouthful of noodles, not looking too closely every time I thought I saw a shadow dart too quickly. 

Even though it scared me, it also gave me a rush of adrenalin that i always craved so badly. I felt almost high on the feeling of terror, and grabbed a cigarette out of my pocket, lighting it up it a futile attempt to give the place a bit more visibility. 

It wasn't that great compared to tagging, but at least sitting in the park after dark was better than being in that house with my aunt and uncle. I wondered if they were even bothered about where I'd gotten to. They were probably sitting down around the dinner table, pretending like I didn't exist. Well, maybe not Ray, but his parents definitely. 

I glanced down at the bag at my feet, remembering the spray cans inside. 

I was originally planning to go tagging on the weekend, but I was out by this point and it was dark enough that if I pulled my hood up, nobody would be able to recognise me if I was spotted. Plus not many people were really out in the town on a weeknight. 

I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed out of the park, jumping the same fence i'd clambered over to get in in the first place. I didn't want to tag in there just yet - the walls were pretty concealed and I wanted my artwork to be seen first. 

Instead i walked along the near-empty streets, avoiding any drunks or hobos in the process as best I could, until I reached a bridge with a road running underneath it. I scurried underneath, ducking out of the way as one lone car drove past, before standing in front of the inner wall on the left hand side, running my hand over the smooth concrete for a moment before I started, just to get a feel for the scale I would be working on. 

A nearby street lamp gave me enough light to be able to see what I was doing as I got out my spray cans, giving them each a good shake before I started to spray. My work was quick but detailed. I was use to working under tight time schedules so I was done within ten minutes, only having to stop and hide for a car once. 

When I was done I stepped back and smirked at my work, liking the way it had turned out, despite the dim lighting. 

The painting was of a boy sitting in a dog's kennel with a waterbowl that spelled 'yesterday's trash' on it. The boy's face was blank, but there was a definite hard edge to his hazel eyes that I often saw in my own over the past few years. In the background there was a silhouette of a house, with the outline of a perfect family - mother, father, son, daughter - eating happily inside. 

I knew that if James and Isabel saw it, they'd know it was me. But they'd have no way to prove it. Plus, they probably wouldn't even drive this way out of town. It was worth it anyway - I felt so much better to get my emotions out of my system and up for everyone to see, but never truly know the meaning behind. 

I left then, making my way back home feeling like I'd just attended a therapy session. When I went long periods of time without tagging, the agression would just build up inside me until I couldn't take it anymore. 

When I got back, I saw that Isabel had waited up for me. She was sat on the sofa, watching some soap and only seeming to be paying half her attention to it. She sighed when I walked in the door, and immediately turned the TV off. 

"Did you eat?" She asked curtly, not giving away any emotions. I just nodded, not feeling the need to explain myself to her. She hesitated a moment, before standing up and turning to leave. She must have changed her mind at the last minute, because she turned around and said blankly "I'll put quorn on the shopping list." 

Then she turned and headed upstairs, leaving me to smile to myself as I realised she'd given in, and my protest had meant I'd gotten my own way. I waited until she had disappeared into her room before heading upstairs. Although I couldn't be sure, I was pretty sure I saw Ray's light switch off the moment I got upstairs, making me wonder if he'd waited up for me too. 

__________________________________________________________________


	9. 9

Nine

Working at the church on Thursday was uneventful, mainly due to the fact that Gerard had to go through a shit ton of forms from parents wanting to get their child into the local catholic school for the following year, meaning I was left to sort through the hymn books on my own, with him in the next room. I didn't mind too much, and just shoved my headphones in for the duration of the task before heading home to a dinner that was served with a vegetarian option for me.

When Friday came around I found myself with plans. Which was annoying, as I had to go to the church first. I hoped to explain to Gerard that I needed to go early, and hopefully he'd understand and I could just make the time up the following week.

It wasn't anything too major, but Kellin was having a 'small' party round his house, and our whole group of friends had been invited.

"You have to come!" Oli had told me in music. Kellin had gone off in search of a better amp, and the two of us were sitting in the practice room waiting for him to return "Kellin's parties are always epic. His parents are out all weekend so he dosen't even care how big it gets. Plus his house is pretty damn big."

"I guess" I nodded, knowing it would be stupid not to go to a party when I was the new kid trying to establish my friendships. Isolating myself at that point would have been a fatal mistake. "Parties don't really tend to be my scene, but i'm sure I'd enjoy it anyway."

"Ah, but you haven't been to one of our parties yet" he tutted "we play decent music, and we don't drug the punch bowl. You only get drunk if you want to, you only have sex if you are sober enough to want to, and you actually tend to have a good time. Plus, you can always crash on the sofa is you don't want to go home and face that family." Kellin came back into the room clutching an amp with both hands as he spoke.

"Oh yeah, you're welcome to stay over Frank if you get too drunk to go back your family" He added enthusiastically as he set the amp down and plugged it in, the sound of static filling the room, which he continued to talk over "It's going to be great."

"Yeah okay" I grinned, picking my guitar back up "I'll come. But I won't be there till later on as I have to go to the church for an hour and then head home to get changed and tell them where i'm going."

"That's okay, i'll need some time to set up anyway. Gotta put a lock on my parents door. Last time me and my friend Jack spent forever trying to get the stains out of their bedsheets. It was a miracle we did it in time." He grimaced at the memory.

"Ew, too much information dude" Oli made a gagging sound.

"Tell me about it" he shuddered back, making me laugh "do you think it's socially acceptable to put bin bag covers over the beds? Or will that be a bit off putting?" we all laughed at that, imagining someone trying to get off on the bed only to be lying on top of a black plastic sheet.

"Somehow I don't think that would go down to well. Besides, I doubt anyone will even go upstairs. Most of our friends are too classy to do the dirty in your spare bedroom - leave that to the popular crowds" Oli ran his thumb over his sketchbook, which he seemed to take everywhere with him, as he spoke.

"Yeah don't worry Frank, my parties never really get that sexual. It's mostly just a bunch of teens getting tipsy to Nirvana."

"Sounds like my sort of thing" I smiled, feeling genuinely excited for the coming evening. 

"Hello?" I shut the church door behind me "Gerard?"

"Frank! Hey!" He came down the stairs, a ballpoint pen stuck behind his ear, just about visible against his jet black hair, and a few forms tucked under his arm "Come on up, i'm nearly done with paperwork."

"Sure" I followed him back up the stairs and sat down on the sofa "hey, do you mind if I go a bit earlier today? I've got plans with my friends and i'd like to get there at a reasonable time. I'll make it up to you next week or something-"

"Frank, it's fine" he chuckled, obviously finding me amusing "I understand. There isn't much for you to do today anyway. If you could make us both a coffee and then maybe finish sorting those hymn books then i'd be happy to let you go."

"Great" I grinned, turning to the coffee machine. I'd noticed that Gerard tended to leave at least two empty cups lying around the machine, and I actually made the effort of putting them to one side for him before starting to make the drinks.

"If your uncle asks, do you want me to tell him you stayed on until later or does he know about your plans?" He asked so casually that I wondered if i'd heard him right. I could've sworn that lying was considered a sin?

"Are you offering to lie for me again?" I turned to face him with my eyebrow raised, remembering how he'd covered for me back at the church when we'd only just met. He'd really saved my ass back then.

"No, not lie, just not mention certain details" he gave me a small smirk that I tried not to think too hard about, because damn did it look attractive when he pulled that expression. "I'm sure God will find it in him to forgive me for a little thing like that, after all."

"I don't think I thanked you for lying, i mean, covering for me the other day" I thought back to it, knowing that he had gone beyond not mentioning certain details and instead just flat-out lied for me.

"Don't worry about it" he waved a hand dismissively "I've never been a big fan of James and Isabel, and you seem like an alright guy in need of a break." I couldn't blame him for disliking them, although it was still against his nature as a priest to lie.

"Well, I appreciated it" I handed him his coffee "I know you're not suppose to do that, especially for someone you just met, but i'm glad you did."

"I'm glad I did too" he smiled at me over his coffee mug, which he gripped with both of his pale hands. "Now, are you going to stop thanking me and get on with those books? Because otherwise you're never going to get out of here early." 

"Done" I declared half an hour later, coming back up the stairs to find Gerard had already finished the paperwork, and was instead lying out on the couch, his headphones on but loud enough that I could tell he was listening to Nirvana from a good meter or two away. I chuckled and pulled one of the buds out, making him jump a little and open his eyes, although he relaxed when he realised it was only me.

"Oh, Frank, you're finished?" He propped himself up on his elbows as I nodded "I was just taking a, er, break..."

"How long have you been lying there?" I raised an eyebrow, unable to keep in the chuckle that escaped from my lips.

"Um, twenty minutes?"

"You just couldn't be bothered to come help with the books, could you?"

"Maybe...."

"Well you'll be pleased to know that it's all done now, so you're free to piss around up here for the rest of the afternoon whilst I go party." I picked my bag up off the floor and flung it over my shoulder as he sat up properly.

"You're going to a party?" He asked "How the hell are your uncle and aunt going to approve of that exactly?"

"They won't know it's a party - as far as they know i'm just going round a friends" I shrugged "And even if they did try and stop me then they won't be successful. What are they going to do, lock me up?"

"Well if you don't turn up here on Monday i'll be sure to go round there with a skeleton key" He joked "anyway, have a good weekend. See you next week."

"Yeah, see you then. Have fun working or whatever it is you're really doing up here" I let my eyes dart over to where his iPod was lying next to his knee, and then the empty packet of crisps next to it.

"I'll have you know I work perfectly hard here" he picked up a pillow and threw it at me "now get out of here before you miss your teenage booze-filled party." There was a slight edge to his voice when he mentioned the drink, making me wonder wether there was more to his past that I didn't know. I didn't have time to ask him about it then though, so I just headed down the stairs and out of the church, forgetting about it the moment my headphones went in and the sweet sound of The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus filled me ears.

When I got home I was relived to see that James wasn't home from work yet, meaning all I had to do was inform Isabel I was going round Kellin's and then get changed. I could hear Ray practicing his guitar up in his bedroom, the familiar riff of American Idiot floating from that general direction.

"Isabel?" I hollered, making my through the kitchen and into the lounge, where she was sitting on her laptop.

"Yes?" She looked up, closing the lid "What do you want?" her tone was clipped, telling me she wasn't really interested in what I had to say, just wether if would effect her or not.

"I'm going round my friend Kellin's tonight so I won't need dinner. I might stay over, i'm not really sure yet." I stated, hands shoved into my pockets as I stared her down, almost daring her to challenge me when it was just the two of us, with no James for her to hide behind. She seemed to consider it, her gaze narrowing as she glanced me up and down.

"There better not be any trouble" She eventually grumbled "Or you will face the consequences. And if you need to get home then i'd rather you call James to come pick you up rather than you walk by yourself." That was definitely a dig at me storming out a few days beforehand.

"Well, I might stay over anyway."

"I'd prefer it if you came home actually. Maybe next time you could stay, once you've proven your reliability, but for now I think it's better if you don't stay out all night" She frowned, and I bit my inner cheek to stop myself from snapping back. I knew that if I was too agressive, she could stop me from going altogether.

"Fine, but you're being over dramatic. I'm seventeen - I think I can handle myself round a friend's house."

"Don't argue with me on this or you'll just make it worse for yourself" She tutted, and at that point I had to leave before I said something I would regret, instead heading up the stairs to my room and slamming the door behind me.

I went doubly fast when I got ready, changing my t-shirt and picking up my leather jacket in record speed. I shoved my phone of charge for about fifteen minutes as I grabbed my wallet and checked my various social media sites on my laptop. I saw pete had messaged me telling me that he'd declared his love for Patrick and it had all gone great, so I sent a quick one back telling him how awesome that was before logging off. I mentioned very briefly about Gerard and church, and then about my new friends, but not to the extent that he'd be jealous.

I didn't want him to think that anyone would ever replace him as my best friend, because he was always going to be the one who had my back in the end, even if we were on sperate sides of the Atlantic ocean.

I wanted to get out of the house before James got back, so I rushed down the stairs and out of the house without even so much as a goodbye to anyone else. I didn't know where Kellin lived, but he'd texted me directions on how to get there from the school (it was only a five minute walk from there and all in all took me about fifteen minutes.) 

When I arrived I saw for myself that Oli hadn't been making an understatement about Kellin having a huge house. The building was detached, with a long front lawn and from what I could see, an even bigger back garden. There was a big red front door and the whole thing was made of red brick. When I knocked on the door it was immediately opened by a drunk-looking Kitty, who pulled me inside into a while hall.

"Frank's here guys!" She yelled over the music. Someone had stuck Closer To The Edge by Thirty Seconds To Mars on and I could hear Chantal and Jimmy dramatically singing along before I could see them. "Come on" Kitty grabbed me by the arm "we're all in here."

She pulled me into the impressive kitchen, where I could see all of our usual friendship group and about twenty or so other kids sitting on the worktops, standing near the drinks table or even dancing in the dining room.

"Frank! You got here okay then!" Kellin wrapped an arm around my shoulders and shoved a beer bottle in my hand "I was worrying my directions were going to get you lost."

"Nah, they were fine" I chuckled, taking a large gulp "Although I have to say, I didn't know you had this many friends."

"Hey!" He gave me a playful elbow "bitches love me!"

"That's my line, Quinn" I heard Jimmy shout from the other side of the room. Quite how he'd heard that I didn't know, but it caused a whole bunch of us to start laughing.

"Seriously though" I turned back to Kellin "Are you close with everyone here or are a lot of them friends of friends?" I could see that most of the people there looked like they were rock fans, adorned with various piercings and bright coloured hair, even the occasional tattoo on some of the older guys and girls.

"A bit of both. Oli and Steve both invited some friends, and I think Chantal is responsible for getting most of the female population to come" He picked up a handful of crisps "I just provide the venue and then Jimmy gets in the alcohol."

"Kellin!" I turned to see Oli pushing past people, an attractive guy in tow who was a little taller than me (but only just), with a nose ring and curly hair, a beanie perched on his head "This is my friend Vic, the one I was telling you about." A look passed between Oli and Kellin that I didn't quite understand.

"Hi" Vic smiled at Kellin "it's nice to meet you, Oli won't stop going on about how well we'd get on."

"Tell me about it" Kellin laughed "He's been on at me for days about how I have to meet his friend Vic. Honestly, he's not like this with every gay friend he comes across..." I already knew Kellin was gay, but now that I knew Vic was too I could see that Oli was trying to set them up, so I turned to Oli, going along with his plan.

"Come choose a song with me?" I asked, and he nodded eagerly, letting me lead us away. I waited until we were out of earshot before i asked him about Vic "So you're trying to set Kellin up?"

"I don't normally, but I can see those guys together, and it's been a while since Kells got any action. It's about time someone gave him a hand with his non-existant love life" He shrugged, finishing off his beer "as much as i'd like to say I found you a date too, I really didn't get that far."

"It's fine, I'm really not that bothered about being the only single one' I said without letting myself deliberate of the answer, as I knew it would be stupid to wish for things that would never happen, like someone being interested in me, the delinquent.

"I don't believe you for one moment" Oli rolled his eyes as I changed the song to The Bells! The Bells!! By Lostalone just as the previous one came to an end. Kellin had just left his spotify open, and I could already see someone had made a playlist of crappy pop and old 90s disco songs labelled 'my funeral playlist' which I had to admit, made me laugh.

"Seriously, don't set me up. I don't do awkward small-talk" I raised an eyebrow when he just grinned, snapping his fingers.

"I know who you should talk to!"

"Oli no-" I reached out to put my hand over his mouth, but I was too late.

"Dewees! Over here!" He yelled to a guy who immediately sent us a friendly grin and came over to stand with us. I wanted to glare at Oli, but I had to admit the guy was pretty attractive. "Dewees, this is Frank Iero, he's new here. Frank, this is my pal Dewees." Oli turned to leave, but then turned back with a wicked smile "oh, and you're both gay and single, just to confirm."

"Sorry about him" I tried not to blush "He's on a mission to set everyone up."

"I noticed" Dewees chuckled "Don't worry, i'm kind of used to it. He's got me laid more times that my pick up lines ever will. Not that i'm a man-whore or anything, i just-"

"Don't sweat it, I get it" At least he wasn't overconfident or full of cheesy chat up lines. "So is Dewees your actual name?"

"No, my full name's James Dewees, but I find my first name way too bland and boring for my liking, so everyone goes by my surname" I grimaced at even the mention of the name James, and he noticed "You don't like it either?"

"My prick of an uncle is called James. I came out here to get away from him. So I think i'll be calling you Dewees from now on. You're way too nice to share a name with that guy."

"Well I'm sorry that your uncle is letting the name down. Have you got a drink or do you want me to grab you another one?" He quickly diverted the topic, probably telling from the expression that was on my face that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm good" I nodded, but followed him over to the bar anyway, figuring it couldn't hurt to make a new friend. 

Fast forward a few hours and me and Dewees were sitting on the wall outside the house, empty beer bottles by our feet as we stared up at the star-dotted sky and talked about this that and everything. He was a decent guy, and although he didn't make my heart speed up quite like Gerard did, he was still attractive.

I chatted to him as a normal friend, not wanting to lead him on when I wasn't serious. Of course, his hand kept brushing against mine every now and then, but i never commented on it. I was a little tipsy, but I knew what I was doing.

"Aren't you going to answer your phone?" He remarked when it began to buzz away in my pocket for the third time in ten minutes. I pulled it out and saw that it was my uncle, and instantly regretted ever letting him write down my number.

"It's the prick I was telling you about" I sighed. We'd been having a conversation about how we'd come out to our parents, and I'd told him that I doubted James would approve so I hadn't mentioned it yet. If he asked I would tell him - I wasn't embarrassed or scared to come out to them - but I wasn't going to bring it up as I felt like I shouldn't need to declare it wherever I go. "Wait a sec, I'll see what he wants." Dewees just nodded and I pressed answer "hello?"

"Frank. Finally." He sighed "honestly I don't get the point in having a phone if-"

"-if we don't check it yada yada yada, I've heard that one a million times from my mom" I beat him to it, knowing the classic parent line off by heart "what it is you want exactly?"

"It's midnight and I need to come and pick you up now. Where are you?" He stated as if it was some curfew we had agreed on beforehand, when actually we'd done nothing of the sort.

"Do you have to? I'm having fun" the party did seen to be slowing down a little, but I knew there would still be a good few hours before everyone crashed out for the night.

"Yes. Don't make me argue with you over the phone on this. Now where do you want me to pick you up from?"

"I'm perfectly capable of walking-"

"Frank. An address please."

"Fine" I ran a hand through my hair, which the light wind kept messing up "pick me up from the school, it's like a three minute walk from here" I didn't want him to see exactly where Kellin lived in case he ever turned up uninvited.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten minutes." He hung up then, and I quickly turned to Dewees, who had been waiting patiently for me to finish my conversation whilst finishing off his beer.

"He's picking me up from the school. I'm going to go say goodbye to Kellin." I explained briefly, knowing I should let my friend know that I was leaving in case he wondered where I got to or if I was okay.

"Don't bother" Dewees chuckled "he went upstairs with Vic about half an hour ago and I haven't seen him since." My eyes widened at that. Oli's plan really had worked.

"He got lucky?" I was surprised at just how fast that had progressed. "Well in that case I won't interrupt them. Let everyone else know where I went if they ask though." As I spoke I double checked my pockets to make sure I still had my phone and wallet.

"I'll walk you there first" he stood up with me.

"You don't have to do that".

"It's fine, I want to. You're a nice guy and as the older person here I think I have a certain responsibility to walk you. Besides, I'll get to talk to you for longer." He fell into step beside me as we made our way along the road. 

"How sappy of you" I teased "All we need are some roses." 

"Shut up or i'll take back my offer" He smirked "so is it your uncle James that's coming to pick you up? The one who let's my name down?" 

"Unfortunately" I grimaced, and for a few minutes we walked in comfortable silence. It was only when we got outside the school that Dewees turned, reaching out to grab my wrist. 

"Look, I had a really good time tonight, and I really like you Frank" he started to lean in towards me, and although I knew I should probably move, It took his lips touching mine for me to place my hands ever so gently on his chest and pull away. I tried to be slow so that it didn't feel like I was shoving him away, just saying a very delicate no. 

"Sorry" I mumbled "It's just, i'm not really looking for a romantic relationship right now.." I thought i'd just been chatting to him without an sort of flirtation, but maybe what i'd seen as innocent, he had interpreted differently. 

"Oh, okay" He seemed like he was trying not to show that he was hurt, which made me feel guilty in case I led him on by accident. 

"I really am sorry Dewees. You're a great guy and i did have fun tonight, but I have so much confusing crap going on in my life right now that being romantically involved with someone would just be too much." 

"It's fine Frank, really" this time his smile did seem a little more genuine. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to Gerard, and how if it had been him them I probably would've let it continue. I really did have to get over that stupid crush, because there was no way anything would ever happen. 

"Well thanks for walking me" I smiled and gave him a brief hug "really, it's appreciated." 

"No problem, see you around Iero" He turned and headed back towards the party, leaving me to bit my lip and wonder wether I was turning him down just because I had some stupid crush. If I was smart i'd go for Dewees - he seemed like a great, attractive, funny guy who obviously liked me back. The only thing that was holding me back was the fact that I was crushing hard on someone else, and I just couldn't get Gerard out of my mind. 

My inner dilemma, however, was quickly wiped from my head when i turned around and saw James's car parked on the other side of the road, with him sitting in the front, glaring out at me with clenched fists. 

He'd seen the whole thing.


	10. 10

Ten

I cursed my luck.

Why hadn't I checked to look over there before I let a guy kiss me? Now James knew, and I could tell even from my side of the street that he was not happy. There was a dark expression on his face as he waited for me to cross the road. I almost just ran away, but I figured I might as well see exactly what his reaction would be, seeing as I would have to endure it at some point.

I carefully picked my way across the road and stood outside the passenger door on the car, heisting for a moment before opening it. I didn't sit down properly, just perched inside with one foot still resting against the ground outside, showing him that I was more than happy to leave at any minute.

"So..." I drew out my words, not really sure how to approach the subject "You now know."

"That you're what? Gay?" he spat with venom, making me instantly recoil. My parents had known for a long time that I was unsure about my sexuality, and hadn't made a big deal out of it. Probably because they were too busy concentrating on all my other problems and that would just cause extra stress. Pete had known and i'd made it no secret to my new friends when I arrived that I was unsure and most probably bi, maybe even fully gay. I was definitely leaning towards men these days, and women seemed less and less.. appealing. I still valued them as friends and as attractive people, but I wasn't interested in anything sexual.

"You say it like it's a bad thing" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's a sin" he muttered under his breath, and then more profoundly "It's wrong and I won't stand for it!"

"Excuse me?" If my eyes could change colour then they would've flashed red by that point "Don't be a homophobic asshole or i swear to fucking God I will leave this car right now and you can go explain to Isabel how you left me out of the streets."

"I doubt she'll care when she hears about what you're really like... what you're really getting up to in your spare time" he all but spat "Whatever this habit you're getting yourself into is, it has to stop right now, you hear me? No more fooling around to spark a reaction, you stay away from that boy."

"That's it" I jumped out of the car and spun around to look back at him, my rage overflowing "Fuck you! And fuck your life! Fuck your perfect morals and fuck your homophobic asshole!" And then I slammed the car door with such force the whole thing rocked a little.

"Frank get back here!" He yelled out through the open window, but I was already running.

Running.

Running.

Running.

I didn't know where I was going so i just headed in the general direction of the town. I'd go back to Kellin's and sleep there, but first I needed to clear my head and calm down before I punched someone in the face.

Eventually my breathing became laboured and a stitch started to form in my side, meaning I had to stop and lean against the park fence. I clutched at my side and tried to even my breaths before the stitch developed any further, and in the end resorted to lying down on the pavement, looking up at the sky with wide eyes.

I felt like I had to create something, or destroy it. Maybe both. I had my spray cans with me in my bag, but I knew that I was too angry to even do that - my hands would just shake with rage and mess up the picture. Most of all I just wanted to lash out at James, to hurt him and make him feel a fraction of what I was experiencing. But he wasn't there. He was probably home by that point, telling my aunt about my disgusting sexuality and how he couldn't stand to go after me after my vile actions and language.

I pulled myself into a sitting position and leaned against the wall, my breathing back to normal again. The cold night air bit through my jacket and attacked every bit of visible skin in goosebumps and shivers, but the slightly frozen feeling it gave me was nothing compared to the boiling anger still racing through me.

But with each moment that passed whilst I sat there, leaning against that wall surrounded by nothing by shadows and my own thoughts, I felt my anger slowly turn to self pity. Once again I was rejected for being myself. Once again I was alone and wanting nothing more to trade in my life and get a better one. Once again I was rummaging around in my bag, pulling out the bottle of beer that I'd had leftover from the party.

I was already tipsy, so I figured drinking it would help lighten my mood. However the moment the empty glass was placed down beside me I felt nothing but a wave of emotions roll over me, reminding me of how I was sitting on an empty street on a Friday night, unsure of wether I was up to going back to the party or wether I should jump the park wall and sleep on a bench.

I remembered the church, and the sofa in Gerard's office that would be more than comfortable to sleep on. I wished it wasn't so late at night, that I could go and knock on the door and he'd still be there to let me inside. 

I had no idea what to do. I knew my friends would let me stay, but the mere thought of going to a party where everyone would want to know what the matter was seemed like something to avoid at all costs. I didn't fancy the park bench, especially as it was cold outside, but my choices were narrowing down pretty quickly. 

I knew I had no option but to go back to Kellin's, despite it being a considerable distance away by this point. I'd rather keep my head up and pretend nothing was wrong that have to go back to my family, not that I even considered them to be that. 

If I had my way, I'd never see my uncle or aunt ever again. I'd keep in contact with Ray, but his parents could go fuck themselves if they thought that I was ever going to speak to them again after i'd turned 18 and left. 

I slowly started to walk away from the town, back towards the general direction of Kellin's house. I couldn't help but take a diversion past the church as I did so, lighting up a cigarette as i walked with my old, battered blue lighter, the Marilyn Manson symbol doodled on the side in sharpie from about six months beforehand. Even smoking didn't take away the bruised feeling I had from James's reaction. I knew he'd be unhappy, but even I hadn't expected it to be that bad. 

I paused outside the church, sighing to myself when I saw that the lights were out and the door locked tight. I didn't really know what I would've done if it had still been open. I doubted that Gerard would want to know about my problems. Besides, didn't the church frown down on gays? What if he'd reacted like James? I don't think I could've standed it coming from him. 

I leaned against the wall and took a long drag, letting the smoke billow over my lips, not even caring that the sticks would eventually kill me. 

"I didn't know you smoked." 

At the sound of another voice coming from the right, I jumped and let out a high pitched shriek, completely dropping my cigarette to the floor, where it fell into the mud and was instantly extinguished. Luckily I was met with the sight of Gerard leaning against his car a little further down the road, his bag over his shoulder and his jacket thrown on loosely. 

"Fucking hell Gerard" i pressed a hand to my racing heart as I tried to calm down, safe in the knowledge that it wasn't some creep come to kill me, but the priest that made my heart race in a completely different way. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" He seemed almost embarrassed as he walked towards me "Let's do that again, shall we? Hey Frank, what are you doing smoking outside the church at one in the morning?" 

"What are you doing here yourself?" I retorted, avoiding his question on purpose. I still hadn't asked him on his opinion on gays. He seemed like he would be okay with it, but I was still nervous to tell him. 

"I came back a few hours ago to pick up the jacket i forgot and ended up sketching in the office. I lost track of time and here I am" He chuckled, moving closer to me "I've said my story, what about you? You looked upset."

"Oh" I toyed with my lighter, lightning the flame for a few seconds and just staring at the little glowing flame before it went out "I had a row with James and I'm not going back there. At least not tonight. I'll probably go back to the party..." I grimaced at the thought of going back and pretending that everything was okay. But then the alternative would be to tell the truth and have everyone feeling sorry for me. 

"What did you row about?" 

"I... he...." I looked up at him, trying to judge what his reaction would be. I decided that I might as well tell him, he was going to find out at some point anyway, so I might as well get it over with. That way even if he didn't accept me then I could just get all the resentment over with. I took a deep breath and let my lighter fall back into my pocket. 

"James caught me kissing another guy. Well, he was kissing me, but that's beside the point. He knows I'm gay now, and he flew off the handle..." I looked up at him and bit my lip out of nervousness, feeling somewhat glad that he didn't appear angry or even disappointed with me. He just seemed surprised. 

"I didn't realise" He admitted, his tone somewhat neutral "You can talk to me about that stuff though. You didn't have to hide it from me." 

"You're not angry too?" I frowned up at him. 

"Why would I be?" He just seemed confused by that point. 

"Because, well, you're a priest. I didn't think you'd approve of me being gay. I thought you'd be more... well, I thought you'd be angry to say the least. I wasn't sure if you'd want anything to do with me once you knew." 

"Frank I-" Now he was shocked "I can't believe you'd think that for a minute. I don't care about people's sexualities - they shouldn't matter to anyone. It's just a part of them. I'd never judge you for something like that, especially when you can't help it." 

"You mean that?" 

"Of course. I've got faith in you, remember?" He reached out and placed a hand on my arm "Woah, you're freezing out here! Why didn't you say something?" 

"It's okay" I shrugged, not really caring. 

"No it's not. Come on, you're coming back to my house" He turned to his car and opened the passenger door for me "I'm not having you walking around here at night when you're upset and you don't know where you're going. You can stay in my spare bedroom." 

"You'd do that for me?" 

"Of course. Now get in the car" I didn't even hesitate to sit down in the passenger seat. It seemed a far better alternative than going back to any of my other options, especially the park bench plan. Now that Gerard knew I was gay and he accepted me I felt lighter, and even happier. I was still exhausted, but it gave me the little energy I was in need of. 

"Thank you" I sighed when he sat down next to me and started to drive "I just can't go back there tonight. Hell, I never want to go back there, but especially now." 

"I understand" He nodded, letting the music play in the background, but not to the extent that we couldn't hear each other over it "You don't have to talk about it obviously, but what did he say to you?" 

"Just a bunch of insults really. He told me I was committing a sin, and that I had to stop immediately. He just went on and on until I couldn't stand it anymore..." Gerard's hands tightened on the steering wheel and undeniable rage flashed across his face. 

"Please don't let him upset you Frank. You're so much better than he'll ever be.." He looked like he was trying to control his temper, and was certainly doing a damn sight better than I had been back in the car with my uncle. 

"I know I shouldn't let him get to me, it's just the cherry on the cake really. I knew he'd react badly, but I had no idea it would be to this extent. That's why i wasn't planning on telling him. But then he went and drove up at the wrong time and saw me with this other guy I met and now he hates me even more than before. I bet he'll try to fucking exorcise the gay out of me next." 

"Yeah well I won't let him" He grumbled "Seriously, if he dosen't drop it then tell me and i'll have a word, and if that dosen't work i'll get Father Schetcher to have a word with him over Skype or something. He isn't my biggest fan, but he had a lot of respect for Brian. He has to realise that he can't give you abuse for your sexuality. It's just-" 

"Hey, Gerard, it's okay - really" I contemplated leaning over and placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, but I didn't think it would help, and by the time I made a decision, the moment had already passed and he had started to talk again. 

"I know you'll be alright, but I still feel angry that you had to go through that when it must have been hard enough to come out in the first place" he shook his head, the car slowing down to suggest we were nearly at his house. 

"Well I was expecting a reaction from him anyway" He pulled into the driveway of a reasonably sized house. It looked like it was two bedrooms from what I could see, with a bay window out front, and a small lawn next to the driveway that had a bench placed on one side of it. There was an overgrown flowerbed that he had obviously not gotten round to tending, and the whole place gave off a pleasant vibe as we pulled up. "So this is yours?" I was eager to change the subject anyway, so was glad that the opportunity had arose so easily. 

"Yep. It's rented, but I like to think of it as mine anyway. Come on inside, you look like you need defrosting" He climbed out of the car and i followed him, letting him lead me through the front door into a small, narrow hallway, with doors leading off to the left and a staircase to continue upstairs at the end. It was only then, under the glow of the lightbulb, that I remembered how late it was. 

"Come on" He noticed me yawning "I'll show you the spare room and find you some spare clothes." 

"Thanks Gerard, I mean it" I smiled, following after him up the stairs and into the first bedroom we came too, which was obviously his. The walls were a simple beige, but I could see various posters on the walls and a whole stash of comics that were overflowing from his drawers onto the floor and even stacked up in the corner, the pages worn and the colour fading ever so slightly from the amount of times he'd read them. "You didn't need to do all of this." 

"No, but I wanted to" he handed me a spare t-shirt "What sort of person would I be if I didn't help you when you were obviously upset? You needed somewhere you could stay where you wouldn't be interrogated by a load of drunk teenagers or judged, and I'm more than happy to help" He leaned against the doorway and gave me a genuine, although tired, smile. 

"I know you're not angry about me being gay, but what is your stance on it?" I asked as he lead me into the room next door, which just had a simple double bed and desk, with a build-in empty wardrobe in the opposite wall. "I mean, you're a priest, you must have an opinion on the whole gay marriage saga, or even gay people in general." 

"I know that it's frowned upon by the church in general, but I don't think so personally. I'm not homophobic and I never will be, I believe that people should be able to choose whatever sexuality they want and that they should be accepted for that. However some people are too backward thinking to share my views" He sighed and sat down on the bed, and I did the same next to him. 

"I'm glad. I couldn't stand it if you were one of those types of priests." 

"I wouldn't be able to stand it either" He smiled a little to himself before turning to me "I guess I should go to bed." 

"Okay" I nodded, trying not to pay too much attention to the way his knee was brushing against mine. 

"Before I do..." he hesitated for a moment "that guy you said you kissed..." 

"Dewees?" I frowned "What about him?" 

"Was that like, a serious thing? I mean, are you interested in the guy?" He kept his tone light, but I could've sworn i detected something else in it. Something that told me he wasn't just asking to make conversation, but because he genuinely wanted to know. 

"No not at all, we were just two friends, and he thought it could've been more." 

"But you don't think so?" 

"No. Why?" I couldn't help but smile a little as I glanced over at him, noticing that he had leaned further towards me. I don't think he even realised he was doing it until I leaned in too, my face a mere few inches from his. "My turn to ask a question. Have you ever been kissed by a guy before?" 

"F-frank I.. N-no but..." He stuttered, nerves overcoming him once he realised exactly what I was planning "I-I can't-" 

"Why the fuck not?" I gave him a moment, staring right into his eyes, waiting for him to object or tell me to stop. He did neither. He just sat there, staring at me with wide eyes, his hands clenched around the sheets. He was terrified of what I was about to do, but a part of him obviously wanted it too. 

At least, that's what I told myself as I leaned in and kissed him, letting our lips mould together and move so that I could bite his lip lightly and pull against it, hearing him let out a little groan when I did so. He placed his hand on the back of my neck and kissed back, slowly at first, and then more heatedly, letting me move so that my leg was resting over his. 

I'd tried not to spend too long fantasising over kissing Gerard, as i'd convinced myself that it would never happen, but now that it was I couldn't help but think it was better than I expected. Dewees was nothing in comparison to the way he felt to kiss, even if it was a short lived moment, over in around just under a minute when he decided to pull away. 

"I can't. I just... I'm sorry Frank" he mumbled, not meeting my eye "I'm not gay, I don't think so. I mean..." He glanced up at me and I met his nervous expression with a blank one "I just can't do this right now." 

And with that he got up and left the room, leaving me to fall back onto the bed and wonder if i'd just made a massive mistake. One fact did remain though: Gerard had kissed me back and enjoyed it. 

________________________________________________________________________


	11. 11

Eleven

I slept well that night. The bed in Gerard's spare room was a comfy one, and i sprawled out in it, allowing myself to sleep in until nine thirty in the morning, which was when i opened my bleary eyes and remembered what had happened the night before, from the party, to Dewees, to the argument with James, and then to the kiss with Gerard.

I'd both been kissed by a guy and kissed a guy myself within the space of a few hours, something I never thought would have happened. The only one I actually thought about was the second one though, remembering the way Gerard had felt against my lips, the way his hands felt resting on me and the little groan he'd made that proved he'd enjoyed it, no matter what he was going to say to convince himself he didn't.

I sighed into the pillow, knowing I had to face him. I didn't regret what had happened, I only wished he felt the same though. He was a priest and I knew it could never work out, but that didn't mean I didn't want to try.

It was obvious that he enjoyed kissing me, and must have been somewhat attracted to me, which meant he couldn't be completely straight. Getting him to admit this would probably be a completely separate matter though.

I an a hand through my hair, trying to tame it, before I got out of bed and clambered down the stairs, finding my way into the kitchen, where Gerard was dressed in casual clothes, which consisted of the same jeans he wore anyway, but paired with a faded Iron Maiden t-shirt and minus his collar, making him seem like a regular guy instead of an out-of-bounds priest.

"Morning" I shuffled from foot to foot, watching as he looked up at me with a smile that looked as awkward as I felt.

"Hey" he mumbled softly "There's er, there's cereals over there, or you can have toast if you want. Or fruit, help yourself" he gestured to the kitchen cabinets and tried to turn away, but I reached out and grabbed his wrist from my side of the counter, not wanting to leave it.

"Don't pretend like it didn't happen" I whispered, even though we were the only people in the house.

"Frank I can't-"

"Can't? Yes you can, you kissed me back last night and don't even think for a moment that you didn't enjoy it because it's obvious you did. You wanted that as much as I did." I knew one of us had to be the confident one that would push forward, and Gerard seemed to be doing the opposite.

"Even if I did enjoy it-"

"Which you did."

"Okay fine, yes I did enjoy it. But Frank that can't happen again" he tugged at the ends of his hair, his frustration obvious to me.

"Why not? Gerard nobody needs to know about this. Who's going to find out? Who's even going to care?" For some reason, this seemed to snap something within him.

"Who's going to care? I'll tell you who's going to care Frank! I'm a priest who's religion frowns upon being gay and yet here I am! I kissed an underage guy last night, a guy who's family has trusted me to watch over him. So yes Frank, people are going to care. Big time." He was yelling by the time he'd finished talking, but I didn't flinch, or even feel worried by it.

"I know" I sighed "But are you really just going to let that stop you? Have some fun Gee, do something reckless for once. Live. If you don't push the boundaries you'll never know how far you can get." It was something I loved to do all the time, but he was yet to discover his sense of rebellion, either that or he just compressed it. "Come on, I have faith in you too, okay?"

"No, Frank I seriously can't" He went to stand up but I stood with him, reaching out to grab his hand, but he just pulled it away "You just think you want to kiss me because I'm here for you and I'm actually giving you a chance, but you need to stick with people your own age, people who aren't your local priest."

"But I don't want anyone my age. I want you. And I know you want me too, I saw the jealousy you had for Dewees last night. You like me and you're in denial. Now I don't know wether you're bisexual or gay or whatever sexuality you want to be, because I don't care for those labels, but you said yourself that you were against the church looking down on gay relationships - why should it be different for you?"

"Because I'm not a teenage boy who's just found out he's gay. I'm a priest and I shouldn't be gay. I don't even know if churches would employ me if I was. It's one thing to accept gay people into the congregation, it's another thing for me to be it myself" he tried to explain like it should make sense, but all I saw was more bullshit that the elderly had made up, not understanding how sexuality actually worked.

"So you're saying it's okay for some people to be gay but not others?" I raised an eyebrow, knowing I was twisting his words against him and not caring that I was making him nervous and even a little awkward. I needed to get my point across.

"No! Not at all!" He yelped immediately "I'm not homophobic, I don't believe that stuff, I just... have to follow it anyway."

"You don't have to follow something you don't believe in. If everyone did that then the world would be even more shit than it is now. If everyone had followed Hitler because they were scared and nobody had stood up to him then imagine what would've happened" I stopped myself there, before I went off on a tangent about rebellion and questioning authority, as I loved to it so much. "Look, my point is if you don't stand up for what you believe in then who's going to? I can't do it for you."

Gerard stared down at my outstretched hand, looking torn and even a little lost.

"I just can't afford to screw this job up Frank" he mumbled after a moment "If I kiss you again, if I go there, I could lose everything. This is the one thing I have a shot at."

"You could, but that doesn't mean you necessarily will" I sighed, letting my hand drop down to my side in defeat, knowing he wasn't going to grab it, no matter how badly i wanted him to "Just... think about what I said."

"You don't have to leave" he called after me when I turned towards the door.

"Do you want me to?"

"No" his voice sounded small "I want you to stay with me, but I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." There was an almost longing to his eyes as he watched me hesitate in the doorway, feeling torn.

"You obviously don't know what you want yet" I took one step further out of the room "and until you know I think I better leave. For both our sakes."

"Where will you go?" He followed me to the front door and stood dangerously close to me "I don't want to find you out of the streets again and I know you don't want to go back to James and Isabel yet."

"I'll go back to my friends. Don't worry Gerard, I think I know how to take care of myself. Who knows, maybe Dewees will still be around?" He grimaced like Dewees was some sort of fungal infection instead of a person.

"Don't joke about that" he reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder "please."

"Why not?" I tried in one last attempt to get him to admit that he was jealous and that he wanted to keep me for himself, but he still couldn't bring himself to say it aloud, despite the fact i already knew the truth from the look on his face.

"See you in church tomorrow" He just replied, avoiding eye contact. I turned and opened the front door, hearing his voice from behind me as I went to step outside. "Oh and Frank? Turn up this time, yeah? I don't know if I'd get away with lying for you again."

"Sure, whatever you say Father" I called back, my voice expressionless until the last word, in which I let a sarcastic smile grace my mouth. He stood there watching me as I made my way out of his driveway, and didn't stop until I reached the end of his wall, disappearing out of his view.

I knew where i was going without even having to decide. There was only one option left for me now, and that was to go back to Kellins to find Jimmy and maybe some of the others and see if anyone was up for doing something reckless, something to give me an adrenalin rush that could match the one I'd experienced when kissing Gerard the night before.

Fuck, kissing Gerard.

I hated that i enjoyed it so much, or more truthfully I hated the fact that he wouldn't admit that he enjoyed it too. I knew he liked me back, but i feared that I'd pushed him too far, and now he'd be walking on eggshells around me, scared I was going to kiss him again and make him come face to face with his sexuality. It was obvious that he was hiding in the closet, too afraid of the church and what the congregation would think to admit who he truly was.

I wondered about what it would be like if he wasn't a priest. If he was openly gay, then last night could've ended differently. Maybe he'd be interested, maybe he'd have kissed me again, maybe i would've still been there instead of walking down the empty street, my hands in my pockets and my headphones in my ears as I tried to think about anything else but him.

Unfortunately the walk to Kellin's from Gerard's was longer than I had expected, so I had plenty of time to be alone with my thoughts that seemed to demand that they were heard. I couldn't help but ponder everything that had happened, and wonder wether my life would have been easier if i'd just been allowed to stay back in New Jersey. Back where the priests were ageing, balding men and I didn't have to live with a homophobe.

When his house loomed into sight, It seemed reasonably tidy. Sure, there were a few beer bottle son the lawn, but apart from that you wouldn't be able to tell that a party had taken place there the night before. The door was open, so I easily slid into the house and made my way into the kitchen, where I found the whole crowd of my friends, minus Kellin himself, all gathered around eating toast and pancakes, some looking rougher than others.

"Morning guys" I plastered on a smile, making them all turn to face me, seeming pleasantly surprised.

"Frank, hey" Oli croaked, his eyes looking heavy from the hangover he was no doubt currently enduring "you want some pancakes? Steve's cooking them now."

"Sure" I nodded, sitting down at the island. I had been too busy arguing at Gerard's to take up his offer of breakfast, and by that point my stomach was grumbling in protest, needing the energy source.

"Where'd you go last night?" Lynz asked as she finished up her own food "I saw you leave with Dewees - did you get lucky?" Her eyes were sparkling with excitement at the thought of a potential new relationship, so I could only imagine how she would react if she knew the truth about the night before.

"Nah, he kissed me but I wasn't really interested in him in that way" I shrugged as Steve passed me a plate of food "thanks, man." He just waved his spatula in my direction before turning back to the stove.

"That's a shame, I thought you guys were getting on really well" Chantal injected, scoring her chair so she could join in with the conversation. Despite the fact that they had obviously slept over in the clothes they were standing up in, both still had intact makeup and big grins. Maybe they could just handle their drink better than the rest of us?

"We were, I just wasn't all that attracted to him" Okay so maybe I had been a little, but it was nothing compared to what I felt when I looked at Gerard. Goddam it, there I went again, thinking about him. 

"Well then where did you go?" Lynz raised a quizzical eyebrow "Did you go home to your aunt and uncle?" 

"Hell no, we've fallen out" I added the last part in a slightly colder tone, showing them that I didn't want to discuss it further. "Anyway, where's Kellin? Did he suddenly forget that he has guests or something?" 

"No" Chantal chuckled "We just didn't want to disturb him when he was... otherwise preoccupied." 

"Oh yeah, that Vic guy" I remembered in a flash, the smaller guy with the nose ring coming to mind "He's still with him then?" 

"Yep. Has been all night. Something tells me Oli did well to match those two up" Lynz said as started to clear away the plates, including my empty one. "Now we just need him to work him cupid magic on the rest of us." 

"Speak for yourself" Chantal grinned over at where Jimmy was lying on the sofa, looking dazed "I already found my prince un-charming." 

"I heard that" Jimmy grumbled before throwing his arms over his head "Agh, since when was it so bright in here. Can't we pull the curtains or something? And how are you okay Chanty? You drank way more than me." 

"Face it babe, you're a lightweight" She giggled, obviously not feeling much pity towards him, probably because it was a regular thing. He just flipped us all off and buried his face in the pillow, he was obviously going to be out of it for at least the rest of the morning. 

"Hey guys" Vic and Kellin walked into the kitchen holding hands, and although their clothes were all on, it didn't take a genius to notice that both were wearing different t-shirts to when they had disappeared upstairs the night before. 

"So nice of you to join us" Kitty rolled her eyes, but I knew she was only teasing them because she was happy for the pair.

"We smelt the pancakes" Vic shrugged, whilst Kellin just grinned and squeezed his hand tighter. A pang of jealousy shot through me at how easily they'd hooked up - neither was an off-limits priest who refused to acknowledge his sexuality, but at the same time was unbearably attractive. Why did I always pick the complicated ones? 

I bet they both just admitted they liked each other and that was that - they would've gone on to sleep together and no doubt soon enter a relationship, with the worst of their problems consisting of people disapproving of their sexuality, but from what I had gathered Kellin's parents were fine with it, and Vic's i presumed were the same. 

"So did any of you want to do something today?" I asked as they all finished up their food "Nothing extravagant, just something better than heading home." 

"I'm not up for much" Jimmy's voice grumbled from the sofa "Can't we all just stay here?" 

"Oh come on Urine" Oli rolled his eyes "I'm hungover too but i'm still game. Where's your personality gone?" 

"Fine, fine" Jimmy sat up and rubbed his eyes, squinting at us all like we were in direct sunlight "But no more alcohol today, i've had enough. What were you thinking Frank? Did you wanna go tagging?" I just smiled and nodded, waiting for their opinions. 

"Me and Kitty have to go, we've made plans" Chantal picked up her jacket whilst Kitty finished up her coffee, the two of them ready to leave "But you guys have fun." 

"Me and Vic were going to spend some time here, but you're welcome to come back later" Kellin draped an arm around the shorter man's shoulders in an almost protective manner, making me wonder just how hard he'd already fallen for the guy. "Seriously, my parents aren't back until later on and there's still a few beers left over." 

"It's fine, we wouldn't want to intrude on you too" Oli chuckled at the pair, obviously pleased that it was working out, before turning back to me "Looks like it's me, you, Lynz and Jimmy." Jimmy made a grunt of approval as he pulled on his shoes, Chantal handing him a big glass of water to help with his head as he did so.

"That's sounds about right, we wouldn't want too many people anyway" I could already feel my fingers itching to get out there and start painting. To let the spray cans go wild in my hands and just express the things i simply couldn't find words for. After all, there are some things you simply can't describe without art to help.

The emotions were just building up inside on me, and the prospect of letting them out was too tempting to resist. 

___________________________________________________________________


	12. 12

Twelve

"This is nice" Lynz commented from where she sat perched on the ground, a cigarette balanced between her bright red lips and her boot-clad legs crossed underneath her as she watched me paint, her eyes following my every move in a way only artistic people truly appreciated. "It's therapeutic to watch you paint." 

"It's even more therapeutic if you're the one painting" I turned to her and held out the black can "Here, try it." She got to her feet and took the can, looking wearily at my work. I had nearly finished my drawing of two hands reaching out to each other, but being held back by a whole horde of arms that seemed much more grey in colour. Underneath I was going to write 'society prevents growth' but there was still plenty of space on the opposite wall of the underpass for Lynz to create something. 

"Go on Lynz" Jimmy added from behind his sunglasses "You know you'd be good at it" he turned to me "Linds is an amazing artist, just wait until you see her sketchbook." 

"Shut up before you make me blush" She chuckled, turning back to the wall as the three of us watched her. She slowly and gracefully started to spray, and I could already tell that she was a natural. At first we didn't know quite what she painting, but it soon became clear that she was drawing a bass guitar, held by the silhouette of a woman who was obviously meant to be her. She finished it off and stepped back, smiling at her work. 

"That's great" Oli grinned from where he was perched on an overturned shopping trolley. We'd come to a not so nice area of the town to avoid suspicion and getting caught, plus Oli knew the area pretty well and easily found a good spot for me to tag in. "We should probably make a move though, someone's bound to come down here at some point." 

"Yeah" I started to pack away my cans, catching the one that Lynz threw back to me at the same time, "I guess I should go home and get it over with." None of them knew exactly why I was so unwilling to go back to my family, but i was sure they could all make an educated guess and figure out that we'd probably just rowed again. 

"Okay, well good luck man" Oli gave me a somewhat encouraging smile "If you need me i'll be at home so just call me or something." 

"Me and Lynz might have a Breaking Bad marathon later at mine, if you wanna come over then you're more than welcome" Jimmy stood up and re-adjusted his jacket. 

"Thanks guys, and I guess it depends on what it goes like back at the house" I was going back to referring to it as the house instead of home, because it had never felt like somewhere I could exist happily. "But if it goes to complete shit then i'll give you a ring." 

"Okay, well good luck" Lynz gave me a brief hug before we all walked out from under the bridge, and proceeded to go our separate ways. Part of me just wanted to run off with them, back to Jimmy's where we could just watch TV and forget about my problems, but a bigger part of me knew that the longer I left it, the more the anger would build up inside me and eventually spill over. 

I looked up at the house with a long, unimpressed sigh, knowing I would have to go in and face them. Even if I had to live with them, I knew that unless they were respectful then I wouldn't speak to them. I wasn't going to put up with any sort of insults based on my sexuality or any insults in general, and i was going to make that clear. 

When I stepped inside the first person I saw was Ray coming out of the kitchen. He smiled when he saw me, looking almost relieved. 

"Frank - you're back" He stepped closer towards me, seeming genuinely happy with my presence which was probably more than could be said for his parents when they realised I had arrived back. "I was worried." 

"You don't need to be" I ran a hand through my hair, noticing that it was starting to get greasy. In fact I really did need a shower now I thought about it. At least I could use that as an excuse if things got too heated "I take it James told you?" 

"He didn't need to, I overheard him and my mum talking about it" He shrugged "I kind of already knew though - it didn't come as a surprise. Quite a lot of people at school had mentioned it. I was surprised it didn't get back to them sooner really." 

"Yeah well if I had my way it never would've gotten back to them" I grumbled, hearing footsteps approaching. 

"You live with us now, they were bound to find out at some point" He shook his head "Anyway, good luck. They seem to have calmed down overnight..." He turned and left the room just as James walked in, Isabel not far behind him. I envied Ray for being able to slip away to his room, no doubt to practice guitar and just be left in peace whilst I had to face the dragons. 

"Frank" my aunt sighed, looking more stressed than normal "Where did you go last night? We couldn't get hold of you." 

"I didn't exactly want to talk after what he said to me" I spat, glaring at James "Homophobic slurs aren't exactly the sort of thing that makes me want to rush back here." At least he seemed uncomfortable under my gaze, even more so when Isabel turned to him. 

"Yes, well, I was out of line" He grumbled "I was shocked and I said things that offended you." 

"He's sorry" Isabel interjected, looking almost scared of me. Maybe my own parents had told her about the coffee table incident... 

"I want to hear it from him, not you" I crossed my arms, squaring up to them both. 

"I'm sorry" He mumbled after a moment, looking up at me like he was being forced to. Obviously Isabel wasn't impressed with his reaction, and so she was making him be nice for once so that I wouldn't tell anyone else what happened. 

"You see Frank, we didn't know, and we're still in shock. We've been talking and we think it would be good for you to continue helping at the church until further notice, and maybe for you to spend some time talking to father Way about the situation." I really had to bite my tongue then, as I wanted so desperately to made some sort of cryptic comment about how Gerard just confirmed my sexuality even more, but I could never do that to him. 

"Nobody's going to be able to talk me into being straight just because you think it's the right way to be, not even a priest. I'll go help out at the church if you want, but don't expect me to come back a changed guy." I spoke with a hint of bitterness, but it was under control. They were backing down, and so I felt a small sense of victory, especially after James had apologised. 

James looked like he wanted to say more, but Isabel beat him to it, probably sensing that he was only about to create more tension. 

"Just... speak to him anyway" She sighed " Oh and don't stay up too late, we have church in the morning." I took that as an opportunity to leave, and quickly snatched it, heading upstairs without even looking back at the pair of them. 

The next morning i all but dragged myself out of bed and downstairs, not wanting another confrontation with my aunt and uncle. It was easier to just get in the car, shove in my headphones and pretend like no one else was around. The worst part was that I wasn't just going to any church, but the one where i was guaranteed to see Gerard. 

Gerard. The guy i'd kissed and then been rejected by all over his job. The guy who was probably either going to avoid me like mad or pretend like it never happened and act as if he was a straight guy who's never look twice at me, the seventeen year old delinquent who would only bring him more trouble than I was worth. 

"Cheer up" Ray said to me as we made our way inside "It's an hour long service, not a death sentence." 

"I guess so" I took out my headphones and shoved them into my pocket "It's still an hour too long for my liking." 

"Just go along with it" We stepped inside "Father Way is actually pretty interesting to listen to, although I guess you'd already know that after all the time you've been spending together" he said it so innocently that I almost wanted to cry out the truth, but I knew that I could never tell anyone, not even my cousin, for Gerard's sake. 

We took our seats just as Gerard walked in. His eyes scanned the crowd and landed on mine, there was no doubt about it. He smiled ever so slightly before turning back to speak to another man, leaving me to wonder wether he was happy to see me or just happy that I sat down without causing a fuss. 

I zoned out the minute the service started, my mind coming back into focus every once in a while just to hear what Gerard was talking about. Mainly I just listened to the tone of his voice, the way he pronounced certain words differently to me, even though our accents were the same, or the way he moved his hands as he spoke. Sometimes I looked at the expression on his face, but it was nothing compared to the expressions he had worn when it was just the two of us. 

He tended not to look at me, probably because everyone's eyes were on him and he wouldn't exactly want to look guilty or blush in front of everyone there. He probably just wanted to forget the whole ordeal even happened. 

I glanced back down at my shoes and just let my mind wander - I was trying and failing to stop thinking about him.

By the time the service ended I was itching to get home. I still felt tired and the thought of being able to curl up and sleep away the remainder of the day was tempting me. I headed outside whilst my aunt uncle and cousin stayed to talk to their friends for a while, knowing that there wasn't a single person there that I wanted to converse with. 

I made my way to the back of the small graveyard, where there was a bench concealed behind a row of small trees. It was the perfect place to sit without anyone coming to disturb me, or so I thought as I lit up a cigarette and started to smoke. 

It was about five minutes later that I saw Gerard slip out the back door of the church, his eyes scanning the grounds before they finally settled on my hiding spot, where he could probably just about see my right shoulder poking out. 

I didn't particularly want to talk to him, but he walked over to me all the same, taking a seat next to me on the bench. He was close enough that if I put my hand down it would be covering his own, and also so that nobody could see us from the main building. 

"Can I have a drag?" he asked, seeming more confident and sure of himself than before. I just shrugged and handed the stick over to him, watching him twist his fingers around it in an elegant grip before taking a slow drag, his cheeks sucking in as he did so. 

How the hell did he manage to make everything look so attractive to me? Smoking wasn't suppose to be hot, at least it never had been to me. It was always just a money-consuming habit that would eventually kill you, and yet there I was, staring at him as he took a drag, completely mesmerised by his actions. 

"Why did you come out here?" I asked as he smoked "Why bother talking to me when you've already made it oh-so clear on exactly how we stand?" 

"Just because we can't be together dosen't mean I don't care about you" He stated bluntly, handing me back my cigarette only for me to drop it onto the ground and stamp it out, now uninterested in the nicotine stick. I was too focused on what he had to say to be distracted by idle things like smoking. "I wanted to know how it went with James and Isabel." 

"Okay" I shrugged again, not looking at him "He apologised. Well, she made him apologise, but the main point is he did." 

"And you're okay with him now? After all that?" 

"Of course not" I snorted "I hate his guts and once I get out of that house i'm never going back."

"Then why don't you care about that whole ordeal anymore? He was horrible to you, and he was homophobic! If you're not satisfied that his apology was genuine or respectful then you shouldn't settle for anything less-" 

"Maybe I should just pretend i'm something i'm not like you do" I snapped "Then maybe things would be a lot simpler." 

"Frank-" He just sighed, looking tired. 

"I just don't get what you're trying to say to me" I declared before things got more cryptic "Do you want me to kick up a fuss and argue against him? Because i'll do that anyway in my own time and my own way, but I just don't see what it has to do with you or why you care so much. You made it clear that you didn't want a relationship, and yet here you are, hiding out here with me and telling me not to take anyone's shit." 

"I just don't want to see you talked down on" He cried back. Luckily we were a safe distance from the church so that nobody would actually hear us or see where we were. This was not a conversation that I wanted to go public. "You're this ball of fire and I feel like there's way too many people out there who are determined to extinguish you, and I want to do everything I can to stop them." 

"You care an awful lot for someone who's just a teenage boy, here to help out with jobs around the church" I turned to look him in the eye, only to see a torn expression in his own "I don't think you're suppose to feel so strongly about these things, don't you agree?" 

"Frank..." he groaned in frustration "Stop twisting my words." 

"You have feelings for me" I declared, not waiting for him to try and think of some way to deny what i already knew to be the truth "You have feelings for me and no matter how much you try to hide them, I know they exist. If you really want to help me Gerard, then stop denying those feelings and treat me like you're equal for once, instead of some delinquent kid who'll just land you in trouble." 

"I don't see you that way" in his desperation, he reached out and grabbed my hand, and I had to hold back a shiver "I'd never see you that way."

"Then be with me" I moved closer so that he had nowhere else to look but right into my eyes "Give us a shot Gerard. Let me prove to you that this is what you want. Just kiss me again, just give me a chance-" 

Without a word he kissed me. 

He kissed me this time around. And it was even better than the first time. Maybe because we were being so risky by kissing out in the open, right after the service when anyone could come along the path and spot us. Or maybe just because we both knew that he meant it this time. 

I found it hard to keep tracks of who's hands were where. I could feel one of his on my side and the other on my neck, but they kept moving and changing positions until I just gave up and concentrated on pulling him backwards as we kissed, so that he was leaning over me, both of us still on the bench as things got faster and faster. 

This time when he pulled away, he didn't took like he regretted it. Sure, he still looked a little guilty for kissing me when every moral bone in his body was telling him not to, but he couldn't deny how good it had felt to do so. 

"I should go" I mumbled, both of our hands still resting on each other "If I don't show up soon they'll come looking for me." 

"Okay" He said, obviously not knowing quite what to say about what had just happened to the both of us, except that he had enjoyed it. I couldn't blame him - I didn't exactly know how to word my feelings either. 

"See you tomorrow" I just settled for a small smirk as I stood up, him doing the same beside me. For a moment I didn't think he was going to say anything, but when I started to walk towards the church, my lips already feeling tender from just how rough the kiss had been, he called out after me. 

"Frank?" I turned to see him leaning against one of the trees, a smirk matching mine on his lips "Don't be late." 

__________________________________________________________


	13. 13

Chapter Thirteen

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about seeing Gerard the next day. It was all I could think about when I went to sleep the night before. Was he really willing to get involved with me? After everything he'd said, was he going to still continue anyway?

I turned my headphones up extra loud on the way to college, but all that succeeded in doing was blocking out the rest of the world completely and leaving me alone with my thoughts and the steady bass line on the song.

Of course, when I got to college it was more bearable. I couldn't exactly tell my friends about it, so I just pretended that everything was it's normal, mundane self.

"You still gotta go to church tonight?" Jimmy asked me at lunch as we all say around our regular circular table. Even though we were all in college, we were still teenagers, and so naturally the cliques on people still existed. We were the weird, artistic, somewhat musical kids who tended to wear dark colours, or in Jimmy's case have bright hair, and have plenty of sarcastic comments to dish out.

There were various other groups of people, all who seemed to hang out in particular places and keep to themselves. Luckily it looked like the popular, jock-type guys kept to themselves, as did the it crowd of girls. At least they seemed to have moved past the stage of bullying that you'd get in high school.

"Yeah" I sighed, pretending to dread it "I'm the nephew who's going through a gay phase, remember?"

"They still haven't come to terms with it?" Kellin frowned.

"Nope, now they're just pretending the whole thing never happened. I guess they think that me going to church constantly will help me see the error of my ways or something. They'll work out how wrong they are soon though."

"Maybe one of us should come over and pretend to be your boyfriend just to piss them off" Oli mused "And get the message across obviously, but mainly just to piss them off and force them to come to terms with it."

"I'd offer, but i'm no loner single" Kellin winked, causing Lynz to immediately swoop in, eyes wide at the new information.

"He asked you?" She grinned, giving him a hug "Aw, congratulations, I was hoping you guys would get serious about this whole thing and not just turn into fuck buddies like-" she stopped abruptly, trailing off "Well, I'm just glad you're happy Kellin."

"I am" He blushed a little "Really, I think Vic's the best thing that's ever happened to me." 

"What was Lynz talking about earlier?" I asked Chantal as we walked towards our last lessons.

"What do you mean?" She tried to brush it off, but I could tell she knew what I was going on about because she didn't make eye contact when she said it. She may have been a confident speaker, but she wasn't a good liar.

"Back at lunch, she started to mention something about fuck buddies...?" She sighed and stopped walking so that she could talk to me face to face. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me, I was just curious."

"It's okay, you should probably know anyway - you'll find out at some point anyway" She stepped to one side of the corridor, pulling me along with her so that we were away from everyone else pushing through to get to class. "It's Oli. He's been seeing this girl called Hannah for ages. They agreed to this friends-with-benefits arrangement type thing, but he's totally fallen for her."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. He's besotted with her and she doesn't even know. He's trying to deny it, but we can all tell. I just want him to tell this girl, because she's probably feeling the same way back and yet they're both too afraid to say anything in case they mess it up completely. That's why Lynz was so glad that Kellin's in a proper relationship and not just one that screws with your feelings like Oli and Hannah." She spoke so fast that it was a miracle I could keep up with what she was telling me.

"Have you met this Hannah?" I tried to picture her, but I couldn't quite. "Oli's never mentioned her before..."

"Only briefly, and that was quite a few weeks ago, before you moved here. She seemed nice enough, and she's irritatingly pretty" She said the last part with a small laugh "But he tries not to mention her around us because he knows we've figured out how he feels about the whole thing. Oli isn't great when it comes to emotions, he likes to keep them bottled up and he especially doesn't want to share them with all of us."

"I guess that sounds like him" I'd noticed he put on a tough exterior when he was around people he didn't feel particularly close to or people he didn't think were trustworthy enough. I guess that could extent to me to at some points too. I was the new kid after all, and he hadn't exactly known me very long, no matter how welcomed they all made me feel.

"Well, don't mention it - he's touchy about the subject" She glanced down at her watch "I need to get to class, I'll talk to you about it later or something. I'm sure Jimmy would more than happily tell you his opinion on the whole thing."

"Okay, see you around" I called her after before rushing off to my own class. 

I didn't mention anything to Oli, however tempting it was. Instead we just worked on a few songs and before i knew it, the end of the day had come, leaving me to pick up my bags and make my way towards the church, a bundle of nerves forming in my stomach as I thought about facing Gerard. He'd told me yesterday, in an incredibly flirty manner, not to be late, and I didn't intend to be either. I think I even walked a little faster than normal.

To be honest I'd never thought Gerard would cave, that he would actually find me attractive back. And yet yesterday he'd even gone as far as making a suggestive, almost sexual comment towards me. At least that's how it has sounded coming from his lips, but then again he could make anything sound sexual. At least to me he could.

I'd been prepared for a few weeks of flirting and then maybe i'd give up, stop trying to pester him and then go back to my headphones for company. But as I walked up to the church door, which was closed today - unlike the previous week - I was already shoving them away into my pockets.

I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, making a beeline for the stairs. When I reached the top I found myself biting my lip and trying to compose myself, not wanting Gerard to know that I was flustered about seeing him again.

With a deep breath, i headed inside.

He was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone with his converse-clad shoes resting on the coffee table, this one strand of hair falling over into his eyes. It was just screaming for me to push it to one side so I could see his inquisitive eyes again. No sooner had these thoughts entered my brain he was placing down his phone, screen side down on the coffee table, and looking up at me with a small smile.

"Hey Frankie" He stood up "I didn't know wether you'd show up." I don't think he'd ever called me Frankie before, at least not to my memory. It definitely sounded good coming from him though. Like we were beyond a first name basis.

"Of course I was going to show up" I rolled my eyes, dumping my bag onto the floor "Why? Are you regretting yesterday already?" I asked lightly, but he knew I was being deadly serious. After his kiss-and-regret pattern from before I had my right to be weary of wether he actually meant it, or wether it had been a spur of the moment decision.

"No" He stated simply "If I regretted what I said I wouldn't lead you on - I'd have told you the minute you walked through the door" He stepped closer to me, and I had to stop my breath from hitching in my throat "If I regretted it, then I definitely wouldn't have kicked the cleaner out early so it would be just you and me here." He took another step, probably just to frustrate me.

"What else would you not do if you regretted it?" I played along, figuring that I should encourage anything he threw my way. In fact I took a step closer as I said it so that he was within touching distance.

"Well I wouldn't do this" He let his arm curve around my back and pull me closer to him so that our hips knocked together and I could feel his jeans rubbing against mine "Or this" he let the same hand slide down into my back pocket, leaving it there just to tease me. "I definitely wouldn't do this" He brought his other hand up to the base of my neck and moved his head closer to mine "And there'd be no going back once I'd done this."

All of a sudden his lips were on mine, kissing me so hard I would've fallen over if it hadn't been for the wall behind me, which he pushed me up against, the hand in my back pocket now squeezing my ass so that I let out a deep moan, unable to help myself. Any traits of the holy, innocent, gentle Gerard were gone, replaced with a guy who was kissing me so hard I knew my lips would ache later on.

He move closer so that our bodies were pressed together wherever possible, and I found myself bucking my hips against his without even making a conscious decision to do so - it was by instinct alone.

"I take it you definitely wouldn't fuck me against this wall?" I asked, pulling my lips away from his but not moving my hands, which were currently gripping onto his shoulders.

"Don't tempt me" he went to kiss me again, but I pressed my finger against his lips, stopping him in his tracks.

"Why not?" My grin was a daring one "we're completely alone right now" I slowly let my hand trail down his chest "nobody would know, it could be our secret" my hand trailed over his belt, lingering there for a moment.

"Frankie..." His groan turned to a gasp when my hand reached his crotch, and I began to palm him through his tight jeans "Oh fuck..."

"Did you just swear?" I brought my other hand down to work on his belt.

"Well I'm breaking all the other rules right now anyway, somehow I don't think it'll make much difference" he sighed as I pulled down the zipper of his jeans and then started to work on pulling them down.

"I like it when you say Fuck. It turns me on" I winked, letting my hand run along his waist before slipping one finger into his boxers, making him wait before I pulled them down.

"Frankie I can't have sex with you right here" he sighed "we haven't know each other long enough and we're not even in a relationship -"

"You don't have to be in a relationship to fuck someone" I chuckled "but fine, we won't have sex" I slid another finger inside his boxers and started to tug them down.

"Then what are you-"

"Oral isn't out of the question, is it?" I pulled his boxers down so that they were at his knees, right above his jeans "because I'd hate to leave you with that problem to deal with all by yourself..." I sank down onto my knees myself, stroking him lightly as I grinned up at his face, seeing the undeniable want in his eyes. I knew that the rational, sensible part of his brain was currently telling him to stop and to call the whole thing off - to remember where he was and who he was. But that part of him was no longer a match for the sexual part of his mind, the part that just couldn't refuse me when I was on my knees in front of him.

"I-" he started to say, but he seemed to lose the ability to string together a sentence when my mouth closed around his tip. "Oh fuuuu..." He trailed off, placing a hand on my shoulder to steady himself when I started to suck, moving up and down in a slow rhythm at first. However when he started to moan my name under his breath I sped up, taking him as far as I could without hitting my gag reflex. I hadn't exactly given many blow jobs out in the past, but I knew enough to be able to figure out what I was doing and how to please him. I let my hands run over his thighs as I sucked, feeling him throb within me.

"Frankie I'm gonna-" he didn't even finish his sentence before he came, and I swallowed the lot, not caring about the taste.

I fell back onto the floor, getting my breath back as he pulled up his jeans, his legs visibly wobbling as he sat down beside me. His pupils were darker than normal and I knew he was still aroused from the way he looked at me, leaning forward to kiss me again, this time only briefly.

"I've never done anything with a guy before" he admitted, moving so that his legs were underneath mine. I adjusted my position too, so that I was practically sitting in his lap on the floor. "I mean, I've had the odd girlfriend but it didn't feel like anything compared to this."

"Well it takes some people longer than others to figure out their sexuality" I wrapped an arm around his waist "at least you know now."

"Oh god, we shouldn't have done that" he sighed "do you know how much trouble we'd be in if anyone knew what you just did to me? What I initiated?"

"That just makes it more fun" I pulled him closer "we aren't allowed to fuck, and yet we're going to do it anyway. It's completely wrong for me to fuck you on that coffee table, but I don't even care. It's just added adrenalin."

"I forgot you were into rule breaking for a moment" he rolled his eyes playfully "I guess this isn't too extreme for you."

"Oh this is still pretty big in my standards too" I smirked "it's not often that I'm sucking off a priest. I wish it was though, this was fun."

"You're trouble" he chuckled, kissing down my neck and lingering at my collar bone "you're trouble and I know it, and yet you make me feel so alive when I'm with you."

"You're not exactly trouble free yourself" I rolled my eyes "an off limits priest at the church I have to attend? It doesn't exactly scream an trouble - free relationship does it?"

"And yet here we are." He pulled away from my neck so he could look me in the eyes "you know, I should regret all this. But I don't."

"Good. I didn't come here and suck you off just for you to regret it and kick me out."

"I'd never do that" he answered immediately "you know you mean something to me if I'm risking my career for it."

"Oh stop worrying and just enjoy it" I grabbed both his wrists "now are you going to put that coffee machine to use? Because I was tired enough as it was when I got here, and I'm in need of a caffeine boost."

"Sure thing sugar" he chuckled, standing up and making his way over to the table, where he started to make two cups of the stuff. I just got up and sat down on the sofa, letting my head rest against the pillows. It had been a long day, and the unsuspected activity with Gerard had worn me out. "How'd you like it?" 

"Well if you must know right now-" 

"I meant your coffee" he rolled his eyes. 

"Oh, Right. Milk please" I tried my hardest not to blush, and luckily managed to contain it. 

"Here" He handed me a mug "When do you need to go home for?" 

"Not for another hour or so - did you have any jobs that needed doing?" 

"You don't need to bother with that stuff anymore if you don't want to. I'm not here to punish you like they are" He sat down next to me, and I mean right next to me, and let his arm fall around my shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

"But won't those jobs be left undone? We don't want people questioning what I actually do when I'm here." 

"Most of the time I just have to give you odd jobs that nobody would even care about just so you're doing something. Trust me, no one would care enough to inspect what you've been doing here. And I would lie for you anyway." 

"Thank you" I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder. 

I drifted off at some point, and ended up napping with my head resting against him for a good half an hour. When I woke up he was still there, playing some game on his phone whilst he let me sleep. After that I'd figured it was about time I headed home, so he'd seen me to the door. 

"Same time tomorrow?" I asked before he opened it. In reply he just leaned forward and kissed me. 

"See you then, sugar" He opened the door then, and watched me walk out of the church grounds with a smirk on his lips and his arms crossed over his chest. I could see the Gerard he'd been trying to hide coming out now, and I intended to take full advantage of it. 

__________________________________________________________________________


	14. 14

Fourteen

There was no going back now. Me and Gerard had done things that were not only illegal, but would get him fired if it ever came out about us. Hell, he could even be deported back to New Jersey if we weren't careful. He knew this even more than I did, and I knew I was going to have to not breath a single word of it for his sakes.

Not that I would brag about something like that anyway, but it was hard not to smile during dinner that night. And trust me when I say that me smiling definitely would've aroused suspicion. I never smiled around my aunt or uncle, in fact they'd probably think I had a fever if I so much as made eye contact with them over the table.

So instead I ate my food in silence, only half listening to what James was saying about his work and some stupid joke his boss had said, and tried to look my normal, miserable self. It must have worked because I was dismissed immediately, and I went straight back up to my room to message Pete, who was surprising still with Patrick and still just as in love as he had been the previous week.

I was planning on just having an early night when Ray surprised me by knocking on my door, guitar in his hand.

"Hey" He smiled "I know it's been a while since you practiced - here" he placed the instrument down onto my bed 'have fun and bring it back when you're done, okay?"

"Thank you" my eyed widened as I picked it up "Seriously Ray, I owe you one for letting me borrow this.' It wasn't even a cheap guitar - it was a real Fender one, and I could just tell it was beyond expensive. he'd probably saved up for ages to be able to afford it.

"It's not a problem" he shrugged.

"Be that as it may, but if you ever need a hand with anything just say okay? I don't like to take charity from people."

"Technically you're not taking, you're just borrowing it for an hour" He shrugged and went to leave, but then stopped short in the doorway and seemed to think to himself for a moment before turning back to face me, a guarded look on his face. "You seem happier than usual."

"I wasn't aware that was a crime" I raised an eyebrow, not giving away the rush of panic i'd felt inside at his comment. I couldn't afford to let anyone get suspicious about what I was up to at the church, not even him.

"No, I know, It's just nice to see you happy, that's all. You're nearly always moping around when you're here. I know things like graffiti and sneaking out make you cheer up, but it's nice to see you have a legal hobby too" he nodded towards the guitar.

"What can I say? It's creative, so I enjoy it" he lingered for a moment more before disappearing off back towards his room, leaving me to start playing the guitar, loosing myself in the various power chords and riffs and even allowing myself to stop thinking about that afternoon, even if only for a short period of time. 

I'm walking towards the canteen at lunch the next day when I spot Lynz walking up ahead, her black hair pulled into it's usual bunches being a dead giveaway. That and the Iron Maiden bag that's slung over her shoulder.

"Lynz!" I call out, and she turns, a bright red grin on her face as she waits for her to catch up with her through the gradually thinning crowd.

"Hey Frank" She grins as we turn and start to descend down the stairs.

"You okay? You looked like you were in a bit of a rush back there" It was a good job she heard me and stopped, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to catch up with her fast pace without all out running.

"Oh yeah, I just walk faster when i'm irritated" She shrugged.

"Irritated?"

"Did I not tell you yesterday? My parents got divorced when I was younger, and now my dad's gone and got this girlfriend" she practically spat the word "And it's not that i'm against them seeing other people, it's just that this woman's a total bitch."

"Is she that bad?" I asked, almost skeptically. I mean, I knew that people tended to take it pretty hard when their parents found someone else, so I wasn't sure wether this woman was as bad as Lynz was making her out to be.

"Oh trust me, Angela hates my guts too. As soon as my dad's back was turned she told me that she didn't want to me visiting anymore on weekends. She wants to turn my room round there into a spare room so that if she moves in, there'll be a place for her friends to stay. And when I told her where to shove her ideas, she lied and told my dad i'd been badmouthing her for no reason."

"Did he believe her?"

"Yep, she's got him hook line and sinker. Now he's angry at me for apparently insulting her, and she's playing the wounded victim in the whole thing. Honestly, I just want to punch her in the face and set her fucking house on fire." She balled her fists and huffed as she spoke, the rage practically emitting from her as she stomped along beside me.

"Why don't you?"

"What? Punch her in the face? I doubt that would really do anything but prove that she was the victim. It's tempting though."

"Okay, maybe not punch her. But you are talking to someone who's pretty good at vandalising and then getting away with it" I didn't add about the times when I had been caught, ending in me getting sent there in the first place. "Is she at work right now?"

"Well yes..." She glanced over at the smirk forming on my face "Do you seriously want to bunk off our classes so we can go and graffiti her house?" She sounded nervous, but I could also hear the temptation in her voice.

"Why not? As long as we're careful, they'll never be able to prove it was us. Nothing major, just a bit of tagging - we'll keep it just the two of us because it'll be easier that way. What do you say? up for some revenge?" She just smirked, glanced from side to side to check no one was watching us, and then grabbed me by the arm, towing me towards the fire escape door.

"Come on there Iero" She grinned "Let's go show her exactly who she's messing with." 

Sneaking off campus was easy - as we were now in the sixth form they let us go wherever in our lunch break, which meant no one cared when we walked out of the main gates. No one realised we didn't intend on coming back afterwards. No one heard the clink that the spray cans made in my bag as the two of us got in Lynz's car.

We weren't dumb - we parked the car a good few streets away from this Angela chick's house and walked the rest, not wanting anyone to take down the registration plate and have it linked back to Lynz.

"To be honest, i've wanted an excuse to go tagging with you again anyway" She admitted as we walked down the alleyway that ran along the back of the houses "Last time was great - the rush and the final result... I loved it."

"You share my love for it" I nodded "and you're good too. Just don't get caught, and it's plain sailing."

"I don't intend on it" She rolled her eyes "We've gotta do something big and totally offensive. Something that'll make her blood boil. She can't know it was me. Sure, she can have her suspicions, but they can't be any more than that. Nothing that means the police have an excuse to come question me."

"Sure, don't worry, I know how it works" No one knew exactly how the police treated this stuff better than I did "Just make sure if you draw or write anything, that it's public knowledge about her. Nothing only you know, okay?" She nodded.

"Right. This is it" She stopped by one gate "Stand back." I did as she said and watched her bring her leg up and kick the gate right off it's hinges with a satisfying bang, revealing a pristine garden. "Man, that felt good to do."

"That's just the start" I stepped into the garden, seeing that there were neat flowers beds with roses and tulips growing in neat little lines "Don't leave fingerprints anywhere."

"I do know the basics Frank" she gave an eye roll as she walked in behind me "now, where shall we start?"

"Did you want to trash it a bit first or go straight for the artwork?" I eyed up the tulips with a glint in my eye. She followed my gaze and smirked, walking over to the roses.

"Oh let's trash it" and with that she started to stomp on all the flowers. I just watched her with an amused smile as she kicked them all over, before shoving over a plant pot and watching it smash. She continued to do this until all the plant pots were in shattered pieces and the one neat flowers were all crumpled.

I almost felt sorry for the woman, but then I remembered how she had insulted my friend and then turned her own dad against her, and it filled me with enough spite that I picked up a garden chair and broke off the legs.

"What next?" I asked Lynz as she stood there, panting from all the jumping with a slightly wild look in her eye.

"Let's make a pile up of all this furniture" she gestured to the various tables and chairs and I nodded, the two of us snapping and breaking off pieces wherever possible as we worked, making what was fast appearing to look like a bonfire in front of us.

"As much as I know you want to light this, I've had some bad experiences with fire and arson so I'd rather we just left it at this" I explained when we were finished.

"But-"

"Seriously Lynz. The smoke will attract attention we don't want. Leave it" I spoke firmly, making sure she knew that I wasn't going to back down on the issue. Eventually she just nodded and looked down at the bag at my feet.

"Okay then. Let's start tagging" she cracked her knuckles as I opened the bag and picked up the black spray can.

"Colour?"

"Red" she decided without hesitating. I handed her the right can and the two of us made out way to the side of the house, where there was a perfect wall for our tagging. There were hardly any widows to work around and it was concealed space, giving us enough privacy that we didn't have to worry.

I started by spraying a magpie onto the wall, taking extra time to add detail to it's glinting eyes. Then I drew a nest that it was perched upon, within it were the outlines of men tied up, and then I surrounded them with jewels, money and I even added a lipstick in there too.

"I'm gunna need the red back" I turned to see that the red can was actually already discarded at her feet - she'd moved on to using the black now. She'd drawn a woman, who I presumed was Angela, but with troll-like features, red eyes and claws extending out of her hands. It looked like she was reaching for something, but Lynz had only just started drawing that bit so I couldn't tell what yet.

"Take it" she kicked it over to me and I quickly grabbed it, starting to spray a message of my own around my picture. I was going to write "wreck the home wreker" but I only got to the word "home" when I heard a cry of "shit!" Come from Lynz.

"What is it?" I hissed, spinning around and seeing her standing frozen, like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, the spray can still grasped tightly in her hand.

"I heard something" she muttered back "Frank I heard voices I'm sure of it."

"I thought you said she wasn't due back from work yet?"

"She's not, but I don't know about her neighbours" she bit her lip and tugged at her hair in frustration "oh crap, what if it's them? What if they heard us?"

"Quick" I shoved the can back in my bag and raced over to where she was standing, grabbing her by the hand "we've got to get out of here NOW."

She nodded, seeming almost numb with panic and shock, and we both started to charge down the garden path.

"Wait" she stopped in her tracks "the blue can..." We both turned to see the item we'd forgotten to grab gleaming in the afternoon sun, it seemed to almost taunt us with the way she aluminium rolled ever so slightly back and forth it the breeze.

Lynz wasn't stupid. She knew that the can had her fingerprints on, and no doubt mine too, and that to leave it would be a fatal mistake for the both of us. So she ran back, feet pounding along the ground, whilst I stood at the end of the garden, waiting.

Part of me wanted to just run and let her catch up, but the more logical and humane part reminded me that it was my spray can, it had been my idea, but most of all that my prints would be on it too, so it was in my best interest to help her retrieve the damn thing.

She ran back towards me, wiping the thing on her sleeve as she did so.

"Go!" She cried, and the two of us fled down the alleyway, practically flying down the narrow path with her leading the way. I could hear should from the garden we had left, but they seemed insignificant now that we were nearly at the end - there was no way whoever was back there could have caught up with us at the pace we were going at, let alone get around to the mouth of the alley before us.

At first I was confused when Lynz stopped dead in her tracks at the end, but when I reached her side and saw over her shoulder exactly what we'd stopped for, I knew I would've done the same.

A policeman who looked nowhere near as lenient as McManor and what appeared to be a local resident were waiting for us, their arms crossed and the police car just visible around the corner.

Shit.

I turned to look at Lynz, and by the look on her face it was clear that she too could see that we weren't getting out of this one. Not when we could hear the other police officer walking down the lane behind us, his footsteps overly confident as he ambled along. He knew it too.

"Just go along with everything I say" I hissed to her before they came within ear shot.

"What do you mean?"

"I've been through this enough to know what you should and shouldn't say if we want to get off as lightly as possible. Don't say anything unless you're backing up what I've already said." She nodded and gulped a little too. I could tell this was her first time being arrested or even caught in general by the police, so I was going to have to look out for her and make sure she didn't make any mistakes or slip up and admit to more than they knew about.

Luckily I knew Lynz was a strong and confident character, so would cope with the ordeal. Unlike poor little Patrick back home in New Jersey, who wouldn't have lasted five minutes in a police station before he was bawling out every last detail of what he's been doing in an attempt to win them around.

"That's them" the elder resident glared from me to Lynz and then back to me. Obviously they would have me down as the leader out of the pair, simply because Lynz was a girl - a pretty one at that - and so she would be placed as being easily mislead by me, the teenage boy with an awful scowl and black skinny jeans.

Stereotypes sure did suck.

I mean yes, technically I was the leader out of us. After all, it had been my idea to come and tag the place. But Lynz was not some easily lead girl. She was full of spite and knew exactly what she was letting herself in for, and yet I knew that she would get off lighter than me simply because she was easy to look at. She probably cared a damn sight more than me about it all though, so I decided to just go along with the assumptions that would be made.

"Right" the police officer behind us said. He looked down at the two of us with a tired expression "now are you two going to get in the car peacefully or am I going to have to handcuff you both?"

"It's ok, we'll be good" I tried to withhold some of the sarcasm that threatened to drop off my lips as I spoke, although a little bit still slipped through.

"Come on then" he placed a hand on each of our shoulder and steered us towards the car, whilst the other officer continued to talk to the resident, who was babbling on about how he knew we were trouble the moment he saw us out in the lane. Obviously he had been the one to spot us and call the cops whilst we were busy causing damage.

Me and Lynz slid into the back of the car, both of us hearing the distinct sound of the child locks going down so that we wouldn't be able to open the doors or attempt to make a break for it ourselves. Not that it would even be worth trying anyway - they'd easily track you down, especially with a record as colourful as mine.

Neither of us said anything as the officers climbed in the front and the car pulled away. Lynz was probably too busy trying to think of how she was going to win around her dad once he found out what she'd done, whilst I was trying to piece together a story that would get us in the least amount of shit possible.

________________________


	15. 15

Fifteen

The first time I was arrested was when I was twelve years old. Back in the days of my spiked up hair with this one ridiculous blonde streak in the front that made me look like your typical skater-wannabe. This hairdo had been abolished once I turned thirteen and started to convert to band t-shirts, black skinny jeans and piercings.

My first arrest had been for shoplifting a can of coke and a packet of maltesers (a share bag, mind you) from the local newsagents. The first time this had occurred they had let me off with a warning and a threat to clean up my act, maybe pick some better friends, that sort of thing. To be fair at the time I was hanging around with kids two years older than myself, the same kids who got me into smoking and drinking beer in the park. Then again they hadn't been all bad - they'd lent me spray paints and introduced me to the likes of Slipknot, Marilyn Manson and other heavy or classic rock bands that still filled my headphones long after we stopped hanging around together, and I opted for befriending Pete instead.

The second time had been getting into a fight out in public when I was almost thirteen, and that one had gone down on my record. I didn't exactly care all that much though.

The list went on, and with each arrest I became more accustomed to the ways in which the police worked. What they charged you for, how best to sweet talk the officers and even what questions you should and shouldn't answer. So when me and Lynz were all but dragged into the police station, I was composed and collected.

When we were told to sit down in an interview room, It almost felt homely, at the least familiar.

When the same two officers walked in with cups of coffee in their hands, I already knew there was no chance of us getting a cup.

When they say down I merely waited for them to make the first move, whilst Lynz watched me cautiously from the corner of her eye, obviously praying I had some sort of plan.

"State your names and ages please" the officer with the beard ordered, and I complied.

"Frank Iero, 17."

"Lynz Ballato, 17."

"Same school year?" He asked, to which we both nodded. "You're school friends then?" We both nodded again.

"Care to tell us why you were vandalising the garden and exterior of the house belonging to a miss Angela Morrison?" The other officer, who had a receding hairline and glasses, asked us both in a monotone voice.

"To be honest officer, it was my fault" I declared, ignoring the look of shock that Lynz was giving me and instead focusing on the one of belief that the two men were showing. They'd expected as much. "Lynz here was upset because Angela was being rude and insulting towards her, and so I took matters into my own hands."

"Oh I see" The bearded officer raised an eyebrow "you were trying to impress the girl, show her that you were there for her, that you could protect her." His voice was so patronising I wanted to punch him square in the jaw, but I knew how bad that would look. No amount of sweet talk would get me out of that one. Part of me wanted to tell him I was gay just to shut him up, but I figured it would suit the story better.

"Something like that" I shrugged, letting them make their own assumptions.

"Right, well you two are both aware that you've broken the law, not only by trespassing on private property but by vandalising a woman's home?" We both nodded for the third time.

"Just tell us wether she's going to press charges or not" I crossed my arms. If she was then I would have I expand my story and try to think of some way to shift the blame to a third party.

"Someone's very familiar with the system" the glasses officer frowned at me.

"What can I say? I watch a lot of crime TV" it was a lie - I never watched anything remotely like it. Hell, the only tv I watched were the series on my laptop.

"Miss Morrison is being spoken to now. You two wait here and we'll go find out wether this investigation needs to continue" It was evident in how quickly they'd drunk their coffee that they were preparing for a long time of questioning us, so I leaned back in my chair, ready to begin the waiting period.

"You don't need to cover for me" Lynz almost snapped once they were out of the room "it's nice, but I'm not your responsibility Frank. I'm your friend."

"It's okay - what's one more thing on my record huh?" I tried to laugh but the look she gave me made me stop immediately.

"I'm serious Frank. If the bitch presses chargers then I'm making sure they know I'm just as responsible as you are." She crossed her arms, making her authority known "I don't care what she thinks of me. My dad will come around eventually and my mum will probably find the whole thing funny once I've explained it to her. Well, not the law breaking part, but the idea behind it will make her laugh."

"Yeah well we'll deal with that when push comes to shove, until then we're probably in for a long wait, so best get comfortable." 

Luckily, the wait wasn't as long as I was originally anticipating. Within about ten minutes the two officers were walking back into the room, their expressions unreadable.

"Miss Morrinson has decided not to press chargers" next to me Lynz's eyes grew wide in shock "she's spoken to Mr Ballato and they've agreed that as long as Lynz repaints the exterior wall and re-plants the flower beds you two destroyed, there won't be any harm done." I turned to Lynz, expecting her to be happy like myself but instead seeing a frown appearing on her features.

"So can we go?" I asked the officer before they noticed her mood swing.

"You'll need someone to come and pick you up, but yes, you can. Miss Ballato, your father wanted to come and get you but your mother has insisted on coming instead. She'll be here soon. The two of you are free to wait in the reception." He snapped his notebook shut and looked at me "do you have someone who can drive you home Mr Iero?"

"Yeah" I lied "I'll phone them now."

As soon as we walked out of the door I turned to Lynz "why are you upset? They're letting us go free of charge. Trust me, when we went in there I did not think we would be walking out again this quickly."

"Yeah it's good I guess" she shrugged "it's just that I know she's going to hold this over me now. She'll play the victim to my dad and he'll have a reason to not want me around anymore. I've just lost I guess."

"You haven't lost" I frowned at her "you've got your mum, and if he can't see what he's missing out on then he doesn't deserve to be your dad, plain and simple."

"He may be shitty but he's the only one I have" she stared down at her black wedge boots "I better go get this over with - are you going to be okay getting home?" Her car was still parked over near Angela's house and there was no way her mum was going to be up for giving me a lift after all the trouble I'd caused. I could phone Ray, but then he would have to tell him parents where he was going, and if they knew they would insist on picking me up themselves.

I wasn't sure wether they would be told or not, but even if they were then I was going to put if off for as long as possible. There was no way I wanted to face them too.

None of my other friends that I had numbers for had cars which meant I was kind of stuck. I didn't want to worry Lynz though.

"Yeah I'll figure something out. You go sweet talk your mum" she gave me a brief hug before heading out to the car park, leaving me to root around in my pocket for my phone.

As my hand closed around the device, I felt something else bush against my fingers. At first, I presumed it was a sweet wrapper or a receipt. But then I remembered that the hoodie was new, and I had only been wearing it for a few days.

Curiosity got the better of me and I pulled it out, seeing a plain piece of mildly crumpled paper with a number scrawled on it in black sharpie pen. There was a short message underneath written In a messy scrawl. It read: "Just in case you need me - G XOXO."

Gerard had given me his number? When? Was it after we kissed on Sunday? Or yesterday when I left? Had it been even before that when we weren't involved in that way at all?

I stared down at it for a moment, tracing the letters even though I knew I must have looked weird to be doing so.

I needed him right then, I knew that much. And the note did say it was in case of just that, after all. Would it be ok to call him? The though of anyone else picking me up just didn't compare - none of my friends had cars yet as they were all still undergoing their drivers tests. Lynz had been the only one to pass it. Any other adults would judge me, yell at me or just plain punish me for what I'd done, but Gerard was my best hope for someone who could take a moment to hear my side of things before flying off the handle.

I typed the number into my phone and hesitated, thumb hovering over the call button. It was then that I decided I couldn't afford to be picky about the situation, and pressed dial.

He picked up third ring.

"Hello?"

"Gerard? It's Frank" I kicked at the floor as I spoke, avoiding eye contact with everyone else in the waiting room and just pretending I was the only person around.

"Oh hey Frankie" the nickname made my knees feel kind of funny, almost weak. "You okay? I was just wondering where you'd got to.."

"Um yeah, could you possibly come and pick me up?" I bit my lip, knowing what would come next.

"Yeah sure, where are you?"

"The police station..." I waited for his reaction. Normally I wouldn't care what people thought of me, but with Gerard i found myself caring desperately about what he would make of the whole thing. I didn't feel like I had to impress him or anything, but more like I wanted to please him.

"Oh, okay" he sounded a little bit deflated at the news, but not surprised either "I'll be there in ten." He hung up, leaving me to wonder wether he was going to be mad or just overlook the whole thing. I hoped he would give me a chance to explain myself first. Maybe then he'd see why I did it.

True to his word, Gerard arrived ten minutes later, his car pulling into one of the spaces right in front of the station. I didn't wait for him to have to get out and come inside himself, so quickly slipped out the door and hurried over to the car, climbing into the passenger seat before I got too nervous and just walked home instead.

I pulled on the seatbelt in silence, unsure of what to say. Sorry? Thank you? Hello? All seemed vaguely fitting. Luckily he made the decision to initiate the conversation first, although he waited until he'd pulled out of the police station car park before he loosened up.

"Are you okay?" Was all he asked, glancing over at me.

"I guess so." There was a pause in the conversation "aren't you going to ask?"

"I know you'll tell me soon enough" he shrugged. "It can't be that awful if they're letting you go, so there's always that." If I didn't know better I'd think he was trying to lighten the mood.

"That's because they decided not to press charges against us."

"Us?" He raised an eyebrow "you weren't alone on this little endeavour then?" I guess I would've been surprised at myself too - the only person I normally ever went tagging with was Pete, and I almost felt guilty for going without him. It was times like that when I missed Pete Wentz most. He would've known to check for nosy neighbours, or secured another exit plan, or even given me a lift home from the station afterwards. But he was the other side of the ocean, and instead I was being picked up by a well-meaning priest who had probably had enough of me.

"My friend Lynz... It was her new step mothers house we were tagging..." I answered two questions in one go. When he didn't say anything more I became nervous, and started to let the words spill over into a cascade of excuses and petty gossip. "The woman is a total monster towards her, turning her one dad against her and trying to get her kicked out. She deserved everything she got and more, I was just delivering justice If anything-"

"Don't you ever stop and wonder why you feel the need to play God like that?" He asked gently, but his words still impacted me.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm sure you're right in the fact that she's an awful person, but why feel the need to punish her yourself? Surely God or whatever greater force you believe in will take care of it?"

"He's hardly going to zap her with lighting or make her house burn down is he?" Maybe if he did do that to some people the world would be a better place. I didn't voice that last part out loud though as I wasn't sure how kindly Gerard would take to it. At the end of the day he was still a priest, and still very much a religious man.

"No, but maybe he'll bring good fortune to your friend, or let her dad meet someone new and far better. Someone who will be a good step mother." Although he had a point, it wasn't one that I particularly shared.

"I can't wait around for justice that May or may not come Gee" I let the nickname roll off my tongue without a second though "if your theory was true then how come I was never served justice for all the shit I've ever had to put up with? How come James gets nothing but happiness after he yelled at me for being gay? What about that?"

"I think one day James will get what's coming to him" he was picking his words carefully, I could tell that much. "And as for you? Well I see it as good fortune that you moved over here in the first place. Maybe you don't agree right now, but you have to admit that you've established friends here. And, well, this has happened" he gestured between the two of us with his free hand, the other one gripping the steering wheel.

"Somehow I don't think me giving you a blow job was a reward from God" I chuckled "besides, have you seen my record? I'm hardly an innocent choir boy am I?"

"You graffiti - vandalism is not against one of Ten Commandments is it? You don't kill or kidnap or rape or steal-"

"Before you go on, I have actually shoplifted before" I added, figuring this was as close as I was going to get to some sort of honesty hour.

"Okay, but if you truly regret it and ask for forgiveness then God will-"

"Gee" I held up a hand to silence him "I don't want to disrespect you or your job, you know I don't, but please don't preach to me right now. Just... Be you without the attachments."

"Okay" he sighed in a tired tone "I'll drop you straight home - I'm sure James and Isabel are expecting you back around now. They certainly won't expect you to come to church with me after what happened. In fact if they ask it's probably better if you don't mention that I gave you a lift back - me giving you my number ism exactly normal."

"So we're sneaking around now hmm?" I asked, placing my hand on his thigh as I felt him stiffen beneath me. We were nearly at my road now, as truth be told there was no way I wanted to go inside and face them. I'd much rather sit in Gerard's car and tease him for a while.

"Yeah" he nodded as he pulled over, parking the car in the street behind my own one so that my aunt and uncle wouldn't see the car. "I guess so. You can't tell any of your friends about yesterday, that's for sure."

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed" I let my hand slide further up his thigh so that if was resting dangerously near his crotch. His sharp intake of breath let me know exactly what effect I was having on him at that particular moment.

"Frank - we can't, not here, not now" he said firmly, but I kept my hand there anyway.

"When?"

"I don't know" he looked over at me, his pupils seeming bigger than before "when do you turn 18?"

"Not until October 31st" I sighed, letting my hand rest directly over his crotch now, feeling him start to get excited beneath me. "It's only April now, can you really wait that long to fuck me?"

As much as I knew Gerard was stubborn and didn't want to break the rules any more than he already was, I also knew that 6 months was a long time to put up with me teasing him and him not actually getting any action.

"I feel like it would be the right thing to do" I squeezed ever so gently, making him gasp "oh fuck, you're right I don't think I could last till then."

"I know you won't" I smirked, looking up and down the street to check nobody was around before I leaned over and kissed him. It took a moment, but he started to kiss me back, wrapping his arm around my waist and rocking back and forth ever so slightly.

"We can't kiss out in the open like this" he sighed against my lips "I know you want to, and believe me I do too, but it's just not possible Frankie. We can't afford to get caught. I hate to think how Brian would react..." I hated how right he was.

"In private then. Tomorrow at the church."

"I feel twice as bad when it's at the church" he bit his lip, unaware of what it did to me. "Come to my house instead - you remember where it is right? If anyone asks we'll say you're helping me sort out my attic or something painfully boring like that."

"Now we really are sneaking around" I grinned "hey - isn't lying a sin?"

"Eh" he brushed it off "it's not the worse lie that's ever been told is it? And you're in no position to preach after what happened today. Don't let it happen again Frank. If you're going to tag then at least don't get caught doing so."

"I don't ever exactly plan to get caught" I rolled my eyes.

"You know what I mean, just don't get into loads of shit because I'm getting kind of fond of you and I don't want you getting sent off to some juvie before we even get a chance to, well, be together."

"That's cute" I teased "don't worry, I'm not planning on going anywhere. You're stuck with me now" I climbed out the car and turned back to look back at him "see you tomorrow Gee."

I heard him call out a "bye" as I shut the door. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted off me now I knew that he wasn't mad at me. He didn't like it, but he knew it was a part of me and that it would take more that yelling to get me to change my ways.

Unfortunately I knew my aunt and uncle wouldn't be so understanding. I could only hope that they had missed the phone calls from the station that would tell them what happened. That way, I might get a chance to explain myself first. 

____________________


	16. 16

Chapter Sixteen

The moment Gerard's car disappeared from view, a feeling of dread and the fact of my unavoidable doom set in. Whilst I was with him I had been distracted from my problems - all my efforts focused on the priest that shouldn't even have been with me in the first place. But as soon as he and his tight jeans were gone all that was left for me to concentrate on was the big house in front of me, and the closed minded couple that lived inside.

Honestly, I was starting to pity Ray now that I could see what he must have to put up with. No wonder he went to such an effort to be the perfect son - that way he never had to face an angry James and glaring Isabel, which was what I received when I stepped into the kitchen.

"Hey" they were both sitting at the table, but I didn't make eye contact with either. I was old enough to know that would've been a mistake.

"Frank sit down" a feeling of déjà Vu settled over me at my aunts words, reminding me of the time when my actual parents had sent me over here. They'd been trying to call for the last few days, and at first I'd just hung up straight away, but now that I was settling in and becoming happy I could feel my resolve crumbling. Maybe next time I would pick up just so they could know I was fine and dandy without them.

Then again, if they found out about this little mishap then it might be a good idea to keep sending them to voicemail.

"I'm good standing" I shot back "just go ahead and yell, I know you want to."

"Fine" Isabel snapped "do you have any idea how utterly ashamed and embarrassed we were to receive a phone call from the police telling us you'd been arrested for trespassing AND vandalism?"

"We though the graffiti had stopped" James shook his head in dismay "and instead it just seems it's grown to trespassing too."

"What did you expect when you took me in exactly?" I raised an eyebrow "you knew about my past and you agreed to have me anyway."

"Yes, so we could put a stop to this!" He cried "you're very lucky they're not pressing charges Frank, or else we'd have to consider far worse punishments for you."

"Exactly, they're not pressing charges so it's okay" I rolled my eyes "and before you feel sorry for her, the woman was a horrible lady who was basically bullying my friend Lynz. I was doing it for her, not because I wanted to go and tag a random house."

James and Isabel exchanged a look that I couldn't quite decode, but for some reason they seemed to relax a bit, their expressions seeming to dim from their once angry pit of rage to a somewhat pissed off but mildly okay look that I much preferred to see. Whatever i had said had had a better effect than I had been hoping for.

"You did this for a girl?" James asked with a guarded expression, to which I nodded.

"Oh thank God" Isabel let a smile appear on her face "you see James? I told you that boy was nothing but a phase."

Wait - did she think...?

"So when do we get to meet this girl huh?" He asked, seeming almost friendly with me for the first time in my life. "I have to say it's a massive weight off our shoulders to know that you've finally realised where your heart actually belongs."

Shit. They thought I was straight. They thought I had a girlfriend.

I paused for a moment to weight up my options. On one hand I could tell them the truth - that me and Lynz were just friends and that I was still a raging homosexual. Maybe missing out the part in which I sucked off father way and entered a somewhat illegal relationship with him.

On the other hand, I could go along with it. I mean, if I told them the truth they'd go back to their raging, demon-relative selves who would want to exorcise the gay out of me and punish me thoroughly. However they seemed willing to let me off now that they thought I was back on a straight path with a girlfriend. As long as they never met Lynz it would be okay. It would certainly provide an excellent cover story to lead them even further away from the truth, and keep them off my back.

The more I thought about it, the more appealing opinion two was.

"Yeah, well, it just kind of happened" I shrugged, watching their smiles widen once I admitted it. It felt wrong to be going against what I stood for, but I reminded myself that it was only a temporary thing, just until I was old enough to move out.

"I told you all that time at the church would do him good" James proclaimed, and I hate to bit back my laughter.

"Can we meet Lynz?" Isabel asked "we should have dinner!"

"I don't think so" I rushed "we haven't been together long, it's not at that stage yet and I don't want to rush -"

"It's ok" she nodded "some time in the future though."

"Yeah maybe" I kept it vague "I'm er, going to go upstairs now."

"Okay" she nodded, and I made my escape up the stairs before they had another change of heart and banished me to scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush in order to make up for my sins.

I found Ray sitting at the top of the stairs, no doubt eavesdropping.

"You're not actually dating Lynz Ballato, are you?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, showing me that he saw right through my bullshit performance. Luckily his parents had bought it though.

"Nope" I replied "I'm still gay. Might not want to tell your parents that."

"You've got balls cuz" he shook his head in admiration "not many guys would use someone as hot as Lynz Ballato as a safety girlfriend, I'll tell you that much. Especially without even asking her first."

"It's only for when you're parents are around. She almost doesn't even need to know."

"Good luck for when you get a boyfriend then. That'll be a shock and a half for them when all of a sudden she vanishes out of the picture and a guy replaces her" he obviously wasn't one for lying, and I

could see his point - these things were always hard to control once you had released them. But it was the best option at that moment in time, so I took it.

"I'll deal with that when the time comes" I shrugged "if this gets them both off my back, even if for only for a short period of time, then it's worth it."

"I hope you're right" he sighed before getting to his feet "anyway, I left my guitar in your room in case you want it."

"Thanks Ray" I smiled at him before we both went out separate ways. Sure enough, he'd left his pride and joy of a guitar propped against my chest of drawers - a pick slid between two of the strings. I probably would have gone crazy if it weren't for him lending me one.

Before I succumbed to spending the rest of my evening practicing I whipped out my phone and started to text Lynz.

'You alright?'

She replied about five minutes later.

'Dad flew off the handle and said Angela had been crying. Luckily she wasn't there but the bitch is insisting on me repainting the wall myself even though her insurance covers it. Probably so she can sit there and watch me do it.'

'I still don't regret doing it. Give your dad some time and I'm sure he'll calm down and hopefully dump that bitch.'

'How did your aunt and uncle take it?'

'Alright. I sweet talked my way out of any punishments but I'm now walking on eggshells.'

I nearly added a 'oh yeah, you're now my fake girlfriend whenever you're around them' but figured that she probably didn't need to have that added on top of everything else she was trying to deal with that at that moment in time.

'Thanks for everything today Frank. I owe you one.'

'No problem.'

I put down my phone and picked up the guitar, deciding it was time I express everything I was feeling in a legal outlet for once.

"And where was my invite to this trashing party?" Jimmy exclaimed at lunch the next day, banging his fist on the table.

We'd just finished telling the whole story to the rest of the group. Well, Lynz told it and I added the odd detail here and there. And instead of feeling sorry for us getting caught, Jimmy seemed almost offended that he wasn't caught with us.

"Dude you would've been arrested too" Lynz chuckled "unless you came along and just did a runner - I guess you do have longer legs than me and Frank."

"Nah, they just look long because they're lanky" Chantal said through a mouthful of apple "they're actually average length."

"We still talking about his legs here?" Kellin piped up, earning a slap on the arm from Kitty, who looked completely grossed out by his comment.

"Just because you're now getting some doesn't mean everyone else's minds are also constantly thinking about dick" Jimmy said, obviously referring to Vic. Unfortunately Vic was 19 and so had already finished school, but then again it was probably a good thing that he wasn't at college with us, otherwise we would have all had to put up with the couple sucking face day in day out. That was not the sort of thing you'd want to see whilst eating your lunch.

"Enough about me" Kellin rushed "let's talk about Lynz and Frank again. You two were lucky not to get charged yesterday."

"Eh, it was hardly enough to send us to jail. We'd have just got community service for a week or so, and Lynz had that anyway thanks to Angela." I was use to having to deal with these sorts of things so it wasn't such a big thing to me.

"That bitch. Next time it will be all of us and we'll trash the inside of her house too" Chantal declared, and no one else objected. She wasn't being serious, but it was enough to comfort Lynz and let her know that we were all there for her.

I remembered the way to Gerard's easily. I think the more obsessive part of my mind had memorised the walk I took back from there with a little too much detail. His house looked even more friendly in the daylight. The french windows were all closed, except for one upstairs that was slightly ajar. There were wild flowers growing in the flowerbeds where he hadn't bothered to plant his own, but it looked pretty all the same. He'd remembered to draw all his curtains, something I would probably never get around to doing if I lived alone.

I hesitated by the gate, playing with the latch as I wondered wether he was going to go back on what he said yesterday, when he practically told me he'd rather fuck in his house than the church, and had proceeded to invite me round.

I hoped I wasn't getting excited for nothing, Last time he definitely stuck to what his heart, or more likely dick, wanted instead of what his head dictated. I just hoped for a similar repeat as I made my way up the driveway and knocked twice on the front door, rolling my tongue along the back of my teeth as i waited.

"Hey" he opened the door wide. His collar was off, and he was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt with his black jeans. Without the collar on, he just looked like a regular guy. It made me feel better for being with him, knowing that he could so easily switch between the two.

Although I had to admit, I was growing kind of fond of the collar.

"Come in, I'm making coffee" he took me by the wrist and pulled me inside, shutting the door after me as soon as i was out of the way. Obviously he was still a bit nervous about me being there, although from what i'd seen it looked like all his neighbours were out anyway.

"You managed to get the rest of the afternoon off then?" i asked as he lead me down the hallway and into the kitchen. I tried not to think too hard about the last time I was there, and how he'd basically tried to call off everything that was developing between us, practically telling me that our first kiss had been a mistake. No matter how hard I tried to divert my attention, my gut still clenched when I stepped into the room. I purposely stood far away from where i'd sat that time, instead leaning against the counter.

"What can I say?" he smiled "I work quickly when I have something to get home to."

"Someone" I corrected in a scolding but playful tone "Don't go objectifying me just because I have a cute ass, Father Way."

"Don't call me that" He frowned as he reached up and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard. "And as for the objectifying, how do you know I find your ass so attractive?" He raised an eyebrow in challenge, showing me that he was up for a bit of flirting, maybe more, depending on how it went. I quickly decided that his flirtatious mood was my favourite.

"It's kind of obvious from the way you've been staring it for the past week when you think I'm not looking" I shrugged off my jacket and placed it on one of the barstool "Or did you not think I noticed you looking when I walked through the door?" His cheeks had this adorable hint of pink to them that told me all I needed to know.

"I'm sorry for the objectifying" He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arm around my waist "I'll have to make it up to you somehow." My breathing hitched in my throat, and I knew he;d heard it too because he leaned even closer, making sure his leg was pressed against mine "Any suggestions?"

"I've got a few" I mumbled, pulling myself up to my full height so that I was on a kissable level with him. When he leaned forward, it was all the invitation I needed to kiss him, my hands grabbing either side of the face and pulling him down so that he met me halfway. I could never forget how good it felt to kiss him, but it still felt amazing to re-experience the feeling of his lips on mine, or the way his teeth tugged gently on my lower lip, pulling and releasing it like elastic.

"It's starts with kissing" I mumbled against him, letting my hand slide into the back pocket of his jeans and squeeze his ass "And then it progresses..." I pushed him up against the counter, making him gasp. Fuck did i like the sound of him gasping like that.

I kept my body pressed against his as I kissed down his neck and along his collarbone, pulling his t-shirt out of the way so i could suck and lightly bite the skin there, determined to leave the biggest marks possible.

"Oh shit Frank" He groaned, slumping against the counter, his hands gripping my shoulders as i left not one but three massive hickeys just below his neck, although one of them was placed just beneath his adams apple, right where his collar normally sat. I couldn't help but leave it there, just to make him squirm next time he took it off. "You didn't put them too high did you? I can't have people seeing-"

"Don't worry babe" I chuckled "It's nothing your little uniform won't cover up." I kissed him again before he could correct me and tell me it was just a collar. I didn't want to hear about his job right at that moment, I just wanted to have him all to myself.

Unlike a few days previously when it had been me moving it towards the more sexual side, Gerard seemed more than happy to pull my shirt over my head, chucking it to one side. I didn't bother to see where it landed, instead I my concentration was taken up in pulling his over his head. Once I'd done that and kicked off my shoes I went to kiss him again. He pulled away after a moment though, his eyes dark and his hands gripping onto my hips where my jeans where resting.

"Let's go upstairs" He smirked. All I could do was nod and let him pull me up the stairs, past the two cups on the counter, our coffees long forgot about and replaced instead with something far more pleasurable.

It was when we reached the door to his room that the full extent of the situation hit me.

I was about to have sex. With Gerard.

The thought alone was enough to get me excited, let alone the way his thumb was rubbing circles in the palm of my hand. This man was going to be the death of me if he didn't stop making every little thing he did so attractive.

"Gerard wait" he stopped with him hand on the door handle, looking back at me with a shy smile.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, looking concerned "If you don't want to-"

"No, no I do" I rushed "Fuck do I want to. I just need to know that you really want it too. I mean, I need to know you're not going to sleep with me and then just regret it and try to give me the brush off afterwards..."

"Hey" He kissed me once but kept his face close enough to mine that I could see the intricate specks of hazel in his eyes, each one a work of art. "I wan't this as much as you do. And I promise, this is not a one time thing. I'm not going to bury my head in the sand or try to pretend it never happened. Okay?"

"Perfect" I grinned, opening the door myself to reveal a medium sized bedroom with a double bed situated in the middle. I didn't really acknowledge the various stacks of albums and comics on his desk or the rest of the furniture, because as soon as stepped inside i found myself being pushed onto the bed, Gerard hovering over me.

His hands went straight to my jeans. It took him a moment or so to get them completely off and thrown to one side, but he just made the wait seem teasing to me. He pulled his off too whilst he was at it, leaving us both in our boxers and lying on his bed. 

I wasn't expecting his hand to slide so abruptly into my boxers and take me in his hand, which is probably why i gasped so loudly when his fist closed around me. His grip got tighter and his smirk got wider, especially when i squirmed beneath him. 

"Gee please" I groaned "Just.. just move or something" I was desperate for more friction, more action, anything really. Slowly, with a small giggle, he started to move his hands up and down the length of my dick, obviously enjoying how desperately i was clutching onto his shoulders. 

He was just started to pick up speed when he abruptly stopped and leaned forward to start kissing up the inside of my leg. 

"This is revenge for the other day, isn't it?" I groaned when he kissed past my leg and up along my stomach, stopping when he reached my shoulder to look up at me, his eyes looking even more amazing behind a the few strands of black hair that fell messily over his face. 

"Yup" He grinned, looking far too smug for my liking. Before he knew what I was doing, I wrapped my hips around his, my boxers long gone, and pushed him over onto his back, effectively switching our positions. He let out a yelp as we both landed on the sheets, whilst I waisted no time in pulling his own boxers off so that we were both evenly naked. 

"You got any lube or shall i get mine?" I asked, gently stroking his dick with two of my fingers, watching his shiver beneath me with each stroke i make against his skin. He gulped and nodded towards his bedside table, moaning in protest when i let go on him completely so i could root around in the drawer and pull out the bottle. The moment I had it in my hands I climbed back on top of him, smearing plenty on my fingers. 

"Frank. I've never done it... I mean, I've had a couple of girlfriends before but I've never... bottomed before." He bit his lip nervously, and I immediately leaned down and kissed him, mainly because I couldn't help myself. 

"Don't worry, I'm pretty new to all this too. At least, I am to this side of things" I'd had a couple of blow jobs before back in Jersey, but technically I was still a virgin. I had more of an idea to what I was doing than he probably did though, hence me topping. "Just relax." 

He smiled, seeming less nervous now that he knew I wasn't all that experienced myself, and let me push my finger inside of him. He gasped a string of profanities and grabbed hold on my shoulder, clinging onto me with a tight grasp and I slowly added a second finger and started to slide them both in and out of him, starting with a gentle rhythm. 

"Oh fuck Frankie..." He all but clawed at my back, overcome with pleasure "Shit give me more" I very easily complied, adding a third and final finger, wanting for it to be as painless as possible for him for his first time. He moaned beneath me, instantly turning me on to the point where my body was aching with how badly I wanted to take him there and then. He looked too fucking pretty lying down, his dark hair falling around him on the clean white sheets, his lips parted as he moaned out and his eyes dark and wide open. 

"You ready?" I asked, pulling my fingers out and picking up the condom i'd pulled out of the drawer beforehand. He nodded, watching me slide on the condom and then smear some more lube on for good measure. 

"Just fuck me" he sounded pretty desperate for it, which made me chuckle as I spread his legs apart and helped him pull up his hips so that I could reach from the position I was in, leaning over him with his legs effectively wrapped around my waist. 

With a grunt I pushed into him, immediately feeling waves of pleasure fall over me with how euphobic it felt to be inside of him, pushing in and out with gradually quickening speed. His eyes bulged wide, but in pleasure, as he started to moan and rock his hips against mine, desperate for more of me. I complied, pushing in as far as I could and then pulling out until I was practically out before slamming back into him, making him cry out so loud i half expected the neighbours to hear, despite the fact his house was detached. 

"Oh fuck Frankie that's good" He rode through my thrusts, and with each one we both became more dishevelled, our hair more messed up and more sweat pouring out of our bodies. He started to touch himself, obviously as close as I was, and when I wrapped my hand around his dick and started to pump it myself, he lost it, and came all over the sheets. 

Just the sight of the pleasure on his face was enough to push me over the edge, and I came inside of him with a grunt before pulling out, suddenly feeling cold now that It was over. 

I pulled off the condom and chucked it in the general direction of the waste bin before falling down beside him. Both of us were out of breath, our chests heaving. Gerard moved to push the sheet he'd came over off the bed before turning back to face me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling the remaining sheet over our naked bodies. Not because he was self conscious, but because it was getting late into the afternoon and it was kind of chilly when you were fully naked. 

"That was amazing" he breathed deeply, hugging me to his chest tightly. 

"Yeah" I sighed, resting my head on his chest "It was." 

__________________________________________________________________

Let's play who read this in the most awkward place because those comments always make me laugh.


	17. 17

Seventeen.

"You mentioned you'd had girlfriends before" I spoke quietly, not wanting to ruin the calm and tranquil mood that had settled around us as we lay under the sheet in his bed, curled up together in what resembled a protective ball "Was it serious?"

"The girl I lost my virginity to wasn't" He sighed "Her name was Katie and we sat next to each other in art class. We became good friends and things sort of escalated between us. She was looking for someone that she could let out her hormones on, and I wasn't exactly objecting to the whole thing. I started to fall for her right after we first slept together, but then she found herself a proper boyfriend. I think she just fucked me because she didn't want to still be a virgin when she turned seventeen. Shallow reason, I know."

"You deserved a better first time than that" I frowned, hating the idea of someone just using him for sex and then chucking him away like leftovers. "Did you have sex with anyone else?" I hoped that someone else had managed to show him that he was someone to be appreciated and desired, not just a piece on the side.

"Yeah, I had a serious girlfriend for two years called Skye. We got very close very quickly, and in the end it was just too much for us both when we were so young and about to go in different directions. She was off to Dallas to study Drama and pursue a career starring in musicals and if she was lucky, TV. Whilst I was off to train for this career. It never would have worked out, and although it was hard to break up, it was the right thing to do. I think, looking back, she felt like more of a best friend to me than anything else."

"Did you love her?"

"I'm not sure. I think I might have. Definitely as a friend, but I think possibly as more too. It's hard to distinguish the two of them sometimes. But I was definitely attracted to her." He traced patterns into my bare back as he spoke, smiling every time I shivered.

"So you're bisexual" I nodded "At least you get the best of both worlds, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so" he chuckled "I didn't even realise until I met you. And from that moment I knew that I couldn't be a hundred percent straight, because every time I saw you my stomach felt funny and there were all these inappropriate thoughts clouding my head..."

"Tell me about it. It wasn't exactly on my to do list to get involved with a priest" I sighed into the crook of his neck "But here we are. Man, would I like to see the look on James face if he could see us right now."

"Don't even joke about him finding out" He shuddered "I hate to think what would happen."

"I think the phrase you're looking for is a complete and utter shitstorm" I giggled, despite how serious the threat was "Good job we're not going to get caught together, huh?"

"Yeah" I heard the nerves in his voice "I hope so."

"Hey" I leaned up so I was looking him the eye "I'm not going to tell anyone. None of my friends will know, okay? Not a single person. As long as nobody else knows, no matter how much we trust them, then it'll never get out. You can keep your questionably-suited job and I can keep the tiny shred of freedom I still hold on to."

"You can't let James and Isabel get suspicious. Keep pretending you hate coming to church, keep going home with a scowl and a sour attitude. And when we're around them at church just treat me normally."

"Don't worry, they think I have a girlfriend anyway" I shrugged, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"But I thought you told them you were-"

"I did, they just believe what they want to see. And all they see at the moment is that I stood up for my friend Lynz, who happens to be female, and they've made their own assumptions as to why I helped her. Granted, I let them, but they were the ones that pieced together the story."

"I guess that would probably work in our favour. Just be careful about how many lies you spin them Frank, I don't want them catching up with you."

"They won't, I'm a natural when it comes to lying and deceiving people" I sighed with content, making him laugh, his whole upper stomach vibrating with each chuckle.

"Remind me to never get on the wrong side of you."

"Nah, Just underneath me."

He rolled us so he was leaning down over a me, a smirk on his face as he leaned closer, bringing his lips dangerously close to mine "You're going to get me in so much trouble one of these days, Frank Iero."

"Better make it worth your while then" I mumbled before he started to kiss me again. It was slower than before, but that didn't mean it made my heart pound any less. With each pull of my lower lip my hands got more tangled into his hair. The fact that there was so much skin-on-skin contact throughout our bodies just made it even better, with the sheet wrapped around us like some sort of bubble of privacy away from the world.

We were interrupted, however, by the shrill noise of a phone ringing. I didn't recognise my own ring tone, so I just gently let go of Gerard and watched him lean out over the end of the bed and fish his phone out of his jeans. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the view I got when he leaned over. His skin was this ultra pale colour which made me wonder if he'd even seen a sun bed before in his life. Coming from New Jersey to England, the answer was probably no.

"Hey Brian" He answered the phone, and I remembered with a jolt that Brian was the other priest at the church, the one due back in a few weeks. The man that Gerard was learning all his experience from, ready for when he could run a church all by himself. If you asked me, he was more than ready, but then what would I know about priests? Except how to seduce them, that is. 

"Yeah I sent them off, stop worrying" He said in a light, carefree tone, but I could see from the way he buried himself back underneath the sheets that he wasn't that comfortable talking to him right after he'd just finished having sex with a seventeen year old boy. "Yes, all the papers are done. Seriously Brian, i've got everything under control."

I should probably try harder to keep my mischievous side at bay, but I just couldn't resist crawling closer to Gerard. He was distractedly listening to Brian talk, so just flung an arm around my shoulder without really looking at me. It was only when my hand started to slide up his leg that he took in a sharp intake of breath, looking over at me with wide eyes. I just smirked and let my hand rest right at the top of his thigh, daring him with my eyes to let me go further.

"Y-yeah" He tried desperately to concentrate on Brian "Yes, I've done it. Do you know exactly when you're heading back? You're coming home early? How early? Oh okay, so two weeks today - ah!" He let out a gasp when my hand closed around his dick, unable to help himself. "Oh, yeah, I thought I saw a mouse, that's all. No! No just my mind playing tricks on me" He bit his lip and grabbed at the sheets with his free hand when I started to pump my hand up and down, watching him shiver beneath me "Look, I better get going. This is probably costing you a bomb. Speak to you soon though yeah? Okay, bye."

He hung up the phone and chuckled it onto his pile of clothes before sinking back into the bed and letting out a low moan, his eyes flickering shut as I continued to play around with him. I knew he hadn't come that long ago and so probably wouldn't again so quickly, so I stopped what I was doing and instead just cuddled closer to him, the smirk still prominent on my face.

"What was I just saying about how you were going to get me in so much trouble?" He opened one eye to look down at me with a bemused expression.

"What? The part where you grinned and totally accepted it?"

"Yeah well somehow I don't think your aunt and uncle would be so accepting if you turn up late tonight. It's already gone five, you know" He'd obviously checked his phone for the time when he answered it.

"Can't I stay a little longer?" I groaned, burying myself into the pillows. The time had gone way too fast for my liking, and I simply wanted to stay and lie in the bed with Gerard for the rest of the night.

"Nope, we don't want them to get suspicious" He sighed "I don't like it either, but it's the way it has to be for now."

"Fuck society" I grumbled, pulling myself to the edge of the bed where I started to pull my boxers and jeans back on "They ruin all my fun."

"Mine too sugar" He sighed. "But we'll find a way around it eventually. We've just gotta wait it out and go careful."

"It still sucks" I stood up and watched him do the same, just pulling his jeans on and not bothering with his underwear. Should that turn me on as much as it did? I'd have to mention that to him another time when I wasn't scrambling around, trying to find various pieces of clothing that had been chucked across the room.

"Come on, I'll help you find your stuff" He chuckled, leading me out the bedroom "I think you're t-shirt is still in the kitchen." Sure enough, when we got downstairs I found my last piece of clothing and reluctantly pulled it on, turning to see him waiting for me in the doorway.

"I can't make tomorrow" He sighed with reluctance "But the day after will be fine if you want to come round again. You still have my number, right?"

"Yep" I tapped my phone, which was still in my jean pocket "just text me or something."

"Okay" he pulled me in for one last kiss, this one softer and slightly more innocent than the ones we'd shared upstairs "I'll miss you, you know. You have this way or making me feel on top of the world, and not just when we have sex either."

"I'll miss you too" I gave him a soft smile "You make all the bullshit in my life fade away for a bit." 

"Glad to be of use" we'd made it to the front door by this point.

"Oh, you're always of use" I winked at him before opening the door and stepping outside. When i got to the end of the path I checked both ways, glad to see the street was void of people before I headed off in the general direction of home, trying to make the smile that was radiating from my face turn back into it's usual scowl, ready for when I got back.

"Hey" I yelled, slamming the door behind me and kicking off my shoes. Ray smiled up at me from where he sat sitting on the sofa, a textbook balanced on his lap and a pencil sticking out from behind his ear.

"Hey" he smiled back "How was church today?" James looked up from where he was sitting and glanced wearily between the two of us.

"Fine thanks" I ignored him, even when he tried to catch my eye or give me a look that told me he obviously disapproved of me conversing with his son. He'd just have to deal with it - I wasn't going to stop just because it would make him feel better about what he was exposing Ray too. Honestly, Ray wasn't even that found of him anyway. "The normal stuff. Sorting through books, Gerard was busy with the school applications-"

"Frank why don't you see if your aunt needs a hand with anything?" James cut me off with a cold stare.

"I'm good here thanks" I sat down on the chair opposite Ray and pulled my phone out, half heartedly scrolling through my messages to see if Pete had any news. He just said that he and his friend Joe were going to see Foo Fighters and how he wished he was going with me too. I told him to have a great time and try and catch a pick for me, to which he told me in no uncertain terms that if he caught Dave Grohl's guitar pick that there was no way in hell that he would give it up and send it to me, best friend or not. That made me chuckle to myself.

"Frank?" I looked up to see Isabel in the doorway, the phone in her hands "Your parents are on the phone, they want to talk to you."

"What do they want?" I narrowed my eyes, not sure if I even wanted to talk to the people that had sent me packing across the Atlantic ocean so I could become someone else's problem and they could relax and have some time without me.

"To talk to you of course" She sighed, rolling her eyes "And every minute we spend standing here talking about it is money they're wasting calling us" She held the phone out and I eyed it wearily. From the way her and James were looking at me I knew I was expected to take it and act like a well behaved son.

I glanced over at Ray, who gave me an encouraging nod. I knew what he was trying to tell me - just take the phone, it's easier if you just take the phone and talk to them, even if not for long. He had a point, it would just create unnecessary drama otherwise.

"Fine" I grumbled, and grabbed the phone, exiting the room so neither of them could overhear my conversation. "Hello?" I asked in a snappy tone as I climbed the stairs, sitting down on the end of my bed and shutting the door behind me.

"Frank, how are you?" My mother's voice floated through the phone. My parents had that system where they could both have a phone each and talk to the person on the other end together, so I heard a small hello come from my dad at the same time.

"Alright. What do you want?"

"To check up on you of course" She spoke as if everything was fine between us, as if we were the best of friends and our relationship wasn't on the rocks. "We haven't heard from you in two weeks and we wanted to know how you were doing."

"So you wanted to check I was behaving and haven't burned the place to ashes yet" I rolled my eyes, seeing right through their behaviour for what it was. They felt guilty for making my aunt take me in and deal with all the problems and issues that came with me, so now they were phoning to check that they hadn't had enough of me already (which they probably had) and that I hadn't already been sent to jail.

And people wondered why I didn't miss them.

"Can you really blame us for being worried?" My dad asked, at least he was being honest with me "with a record like yours, we have every right to be worried about you playing up and causing greif for your aunt and uncle."

"What I do isn't your problem anymore."

"It's always our problem - you're our son" He snapped back.

"You don't act like I am" I grumbled "I'm the pest that needed removing. Well congratulations, consider me removed from your lives permanently."

"Don't act like that. The move has done you good. There's nothing new on your record and Isabel said you were settling in okay. Apparently you've even got a girlfriend" my mom definitely sounded happy about that last part. She hadn't been angry when I'd told her that I thought i was Bi, maybe even gay, but she hadn't been particularly thrilled either.

"I guess so..." I hadn't wanted them to find out about that little lie too, but then I guess it was going to happen at some point.

"That's great news Frank" She enthused "You see? I knew this move would do you good."

"Don't pretend like you did this for me. You did this for you because you didn't want to be the one held responsible for bad parenting anymore. You were bored of the looks you got when people found out I was your son so you sent me packing and just let me become someone else's problem. You're only calling me now because you feel guilty for throwing away your only child" I all but spat into the phone, letting everything that had been building up inside me over the past week come flooding out.

"Frank-" my dad started.

"Don't even talk to me. I don't want your pity calls. Goodbye" I hung up and let the phone drop onto my bed, not caring if the others heard me yelling before. I felt better now that i'd had a go at them both, even if I had upset them. Maybe it was Gerard that enhanced my don't-give-a-fuck attitude. The fact that they'd sent me here to get away from trouble, and yet I was already in deeper shit than they could ever imagine was somewhat ironic to me.

In fact, just thinking about what they'd say if I told them i'd just fucked a priest was enough to make me laugh quietly to myself.

__________________________________________________________________


	18. 18

Eighteen

The fact that I didn't get to see Gerard the next day made the whole day seem like a drag. Like a bad cigarette that made you cough and splutter because you'd inhaled it the wrong way. That's what I got, at least, when I lit one up behind the school bins. I was standing behind them with Oli and Kellin, me and OLi were smoking whilst Kellin, who wasn't addicted to the dangerous and expensive sticks, was scribbling furiously into a notebook. He was trying to come up with some lyrics for a song we'd been working on, so we'd gone outside to 'refresh our brains.' 

Really, we just wanted to get out of class and piss around, but Kellin figured we should at least make a start. 

My day had been shitty so far. I was noticing every little thing that was in any way irritating or just plain bad and piling up all these things in my head. I didn't have time for coffee before I left for school, meaning my eyes felt heavy and the day seemed to stretch on and on. Then we'd had to start drafting essays for the first two periods and there was this one piece of my fringe that was insisting on sticking up to the side no matter how many times i smoothed it down. 

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that the main reason i was annoyed was because Gerard was busy and I was going to have to go home early or hang around the town. I felt like i was hooked on the moments we had together. I'd never felt like that before about anyone, but every time he touched me - even if it was just his shoulder bumping into mine - i felt more alive than I ever did back in Jersey.

"You guys wanna do anything tonight? I don't have to go the church but my aunt and uncle don't know that, so I've got a couple of hours" I asked them both, not wanting to go back to that house any earlier than necessary. The more time I spent away from there, the better. 

"I'm seeing Vic tonight, but you're welcome to come along" Kellin grinned like the lovestruck idiot he was. 

"I wouldn't want to third wheel on your date" I stubbed out my cigarette. I'd once had to third wheel on Pete and his ex-girlfriend Ashlee (this was before he figured out he liked guys) and it had been excruciating. They'd just made out and made inappropriate comments around me and made me cringe the whole time, hence making me vow never to third wheel on a couple ever again. 

"Okay one, it's not a date, we're just hanging out. We'll save the making out for later, I promise" Kellin chuckled "Besides, you won't be third wheeling if someone else comes along" He turned to Oli "What do you say, Sykes? Up for hanging out after we get out of here?" 

"Sure, what did you have in mind?" He asked, stubbing his own cigarette out next to mine "you wanna go tagging again Frank? Last time was pretty fun..." I thought back to a few days previously when I'd been holed up in police custody with Lynz, and shook my head. 

"Maybe not today" I smiled. I'd give it a week or so to calm down before I picked the spray cans back up "Let's just go hang out in the park or something. We'll grab something to drink along the way. It'll be fun, especially if a group of us go." 

That's how my whole gang of friends ended up heading to the park after school. Jimmy, Steve and Chantal brought along the alcohol, which we all contributed money towards, whilst Kitty brought one of those portable speakers so that she could plug her phone in and play some music. 

Vic arrived soon after we did, and after saying a brief hello to everyone sat down next to Kellin, their knees bumping every now and then. They kept catching each other's eye in a suggestive manner, and I knew that as soon as they were alone they were going to start making out within seconds. Luckily they held off whilst they were around us though, which was appreciated by everyone.

"So Vic, Kellin said you were in a band?" Chantal asked as we all sat around, most of us at a loss as to what to do. It was nice to be out there with all my newly-established friends, i really felt like one of them even though technically I was still the new kid. I knew I was incredibly lucky to have found these guys. I hadn't been expecting to make any ties whilst I was living with my aunt and uncle, but i'd made friends for life here.

"Oh, yeah" He smiled shyly "It's with my brother and our two friends. You won't have heard of us, mainly because we've only had three gigs. Well, four as of next weekend." 

"You're playing next weekend?" Kitty asked, sitting up a little straighter "Where abouts? I'd love to come and see you guys." 

"The XO club, it's about ten minutes from here" He smiled, seeming to come alive when talking about his band "You're all welcome to come, it'd be good if someone at least new our name there." 

"They're called Pierce The Veil" Kellin interjected "You should hear their demos, they're brilliant. You'll be signed within no time, Vic." He put his arm around Vic's shoulders and I heard Kitty give a little 'awww' under her breath at the two of them together. 

"We should all go - shotgun Lynz's car!" Jimmy cried. 

"Shotgun!" Chantal, Kitty and Steve all beat the rest of us to it. 

"That's my car full, how are rest of you going to get there?" Lynz asked the remainder of us. 

"Ray could drive us" I felt myself saying "I mean, he likes that sort of music so would probably want to go, and he has a car. Vic's making his own way with his band, so it's just me, Kellin and Oli." I should have probably asked Ray first, but I was confident that I could talk him round. 

"Sounds good to me" Oli nodded "Toro always seemed like a good guy." 

I leaned back against the tree and smiled, glad that I now had some plans in my social life. I missed the music scene - I hadn't been to a concert in ages and after a while I tended to get a sense of withdrawal. I was excited to meet the rest of Vic's band too, and especially to see what they performed like. 

After about an hour in the park, with everyone furiously planning our transportation and general arrangements for the next weekend, we all went our sperate ways. Kellin and Vic were going back to Kellin's, Lynz had to get home before her dad got even madder with her, and once they left the others figured they'd go too. 

"You coming Frank?" Oli asked as he got to his feet. 

"Nah, i'll come in a second" I sighed, scrolling through my phone "I'm not exactly in a rush to get home. I might sit here for a bit. Think things over, you know, that sort of thing." He nodded and picked up his bag. 

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow Frank" He smiled before heading off after the others, leaving me alone to rest against the tree. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a drag as I watched a few people walk by, none of them really noticing me where i was half hidden by the tree. I preferred it that way anyway, it gave me more privacy. 

It felt good to be alone and able to think for once without any distractions (except the nicotine passing through my lungs.) Of course, I found myself thinking about Gerard. It was impossible not too, even though there were plenty of things on my mind. From dealing with my family to what had happened with Lynz earlier on in the week, or even how she was supposedly my girlfriend. 

All I could picture was the image of his face when he came, or the way it had felt when he'd pulled my clothes off, or when we'd lied in his bed with skin-to-skin contact. I knew we'd gone too far to ever fully go back, and for some reason that just made me grin to myself as I sat there, wondering when we'd next get to repeat those activities. 

I stubbed my cigarette out and stood up, deciding to go and search for a bin to despose of it in. Normally I wouldn't bother, but it was a nice park and I didn't want to ruin it. My parents would be proud. Well, not of the smoking part, but the thought was there. 

I headed around the back of the park, spotting a bin right in the corner. I headed over and dropped the butt into the bin, and was about to turn around and leave when something caught my eye. I could see something inside the roof of the bin. I could only make out the shadow of it, but it was obviously stuck there. 

At first i wondered if it was just a massive piece of gum, and so I crouched down to see if my assumption had been right. 

Instead my eyes zoned in on a packet of white powder that was sellotaped to the roof of the bin. I wasn't an idiot, I knew instantly that I'd found a dead drop for someone's drug order. I quickly turned and scanned the park behind me, seeing nobody around. Maybe whoever it belonged to hadn't arrived yet? I hoped not, for my sakes. 

I pulled the pack down and then held it up, inspecting it. There was no writing or anything that could give me any clues at to who had left the drugs there or who was going to pick them up. I was guessing from it's appearance that it was cocaine - it certainly looked like it.

"Frank?" I jumped, jerking around to see none other than Dewees standing there, arms crossed as he stared at me with a guarded expression. His eyes travelled from the bag in my hand and then back to me. But he didn't look shocked or angry, he just looked nervous. 

"Oh. Hey" I gulped, not knowing what to say. Last time I'd seen him he'd kissed me and then I'd rejected him, and now I was standing there with cocaine in my hand. And the more I looked at him, and the more he kept glancing at the bag, I slowly realised that this wasn't just anyone's drugs. They were his. 

"Dewees? What's the hold up-" Someone called, and before I could react or run or do anything that anyone with half a brain would do, another guy had rounded the corner, and was staring at me with horror. I'd never seen this guy before, but I got the feeling I'd never want to see him again either. He was a big-build guy with stubbly hair and a scowl that made me feel like a deer trapped in the headlights. 

"This guy was just leaving, weren't you?" Dewees looked at me with big eyes, as if to say follow my lead and don't fuck this up. I noticed he didn't say my name, which must have meant he was covering for me on some level. 

"Er, yeah" I dropped the package to the ground like it was hot lava, all the whilst cursing my curious personality and wondering why I hadn't got the fuck out of there whilst I had the chance. I'd forgotten how much people used parks for drug drops, and this one was certainly perfect for the job. "Just leaving." 

"Nice try" The guy scoffed "But first I need a word with you" He took a step closer to me and that was when Dewees looked at me with startled and scared eyes, telling me all I needed to know. 

Run. 

I took off in the opposite direction and ran as fast as I could towards the exit of the park and civilisation. My bag was constantly hitting against my hip and the few people still in the park were giving me odd looks, but I didn't stop for anything. 

Luckily I'd had practice with running away. There was always a cop on my tail or a siren in the distance with my lifestyle, only now I would give all my spray cans and more for it to be a cop chasing me instead of some sort of drug dealer with an agenda. 

I didn't tire easily, and I was back on the main road and running home before I slowed my pace down to a walk. I cut through housing estates, through back alleyways and doubled back on myself several times to make sure i'd lost them completely before I headed home. 

My heart was pounding in my chest, and not just from the running. I was trying to process everything that had just happened all in one go. Dewees, the guy i'd spent ages talking to and even kissed, was a cocaine addict, and he seemed to be buddies with some hardcore addict-possibly-dealer that would surely kick my ass if he ever saw me again. I'd witnessed them both coming to pick up the drugs, and not only that but i'd seen their faces.

People like that always had backup. I knew that much. If I turned them in then they'd surely get to me. Especially as I didn't know the other guy's name. No, it was better to keep quiet for now and pretend nothing happened, show them that I could be trusted. It wasn't like the police were big fans of me anyway. 

I ran straight in through the front door and up to my room without even acknowledging my aunt, uncle, or even cousin. I just didn't have the patience for small talk after what i'd just experienced. I'd wanted something to take my mind off Gerard for a bit, but I hadn't meant something this extreme. 

Just when I thought I was in enough shit, this comes along. How was I suppose to carry on as normal now? My parents had sent me to England for a clean start, not to become some witness in a drugs bust for crying out loud. 

I sat down on the edge of the bed and reached the only conclusion I could think of for the time being - I'd change up my appearance. I'd get some piercing, and maybe if that rumour I'd heard about Steve having a brother who could tattoo underaged people for the right amount of money, get inked. I'd maybe get a haircut, something that would make them stop and wonder if they had the right person if they ever saw me again. 

Of course, this would only work if Dewees really was on my side. He certainly seemed like he wanted to help me when he pretended like he didn't know me and tried his best to get me out of the shit I had landed myself in, but if he caved then he could tell them my name, my college, my friends. Hell, if he spoke nicely to the others he could probably get my address. 

It was then that I realised I had to see Dewees again. I had to talk to him and make sure he wasn't going to rat me out. I had to know who that guy was and if he was coming after me. I had to see him again, because right then he was my only hope of cleaning up my mess before i sunk in it.

___________________________________________________________


	19. 19

Nineteen

I didn't sleep much that night. I kept tossing and turning and thinking over how I could ask Oli for Dewees number without causing a fuss or attention. 

I tried to cheer myself up my thinking about how I could handle myself in most situations. Sure, I was in shit, but i'd deal with it. I'd find a way to wriggle free and get out of it and I'd do so without pissing myself in the process. I'd dealt with a lot in the past and I couldn't let some druggie who I didn't know the first thing about make me hide away. 

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, only to awoken a few hours later by my alarm clock blaring Queens Of The Stone Age into the room. I normally went to bed late anyway, but as I'd found it harder to drift off the night before I was especially cranky with James at breakfast. He kept going on to Ray about how he'd make an excellent lawyer, or even banker like himself, when he was older. Which would have been nice if Ray had wanted to have that career. I, however, knew for a fact that Ray wanted the opposite of that, and in the end I had enough of Ray just nodding along and listening and snapped. 

"Has it ever occurred to you that children are not clones of their parents?" I asked as I placed down my empty bowl and cup on the side, sending him a glare that he quickly matched. "You know, sometimes kids have their own opinions and wishes on what they want to do for a living." Ray sent me a look that seemed to be a mixture of gratitude and what-the-hell-did-you-just-start. 

"Well yes" James raised an eyebrow "I mean, your parents aren't juvenile delinquents, they have respectable careers." 

"Take that back" I took a step towards him, my eyes probably flashing red from the way my blood was boiling "Take that the fuck back. Don't turn this around and make it about me. Your perfect son dosen't want to follow in your footsteps forever, that's what this is about. Give him some space to be his own person, for fucks sake." 

"And what would you know? Unless you grow up, you won't even have the option of having a decent career. Don't preach about things you don't understand" he was patronising me on purpose, and I hated it. Part of me just wanted to go over and punch him right in his smug little face, but somehow I managed to find some sort of self-restraint within me, probably because I knew I had bigger problems than that prick. Instead I just stepped towards him, fists balled at my sides, and gave him my signature response. 

"Fuck you" I spat in his face, quite literally, and then stormed out the room, throwing on my beaten, second hand leather jacket on and grabbing my bag. Then I was out the door and down the driveway before he could even wipe my saliva off his face. 

It was in music that I managed to get some time alone with Oli. Kellin had gone to find some better amp cables, meaning it was just me and him in the practice room. 

"Hey, i've been meaning to ask you" I started, sitting down against the wall with my knees pulled up to my chest "That Dewees guy from the party the other week, you don't happen to have his number do you?" 

"And why would you wan't that?" He teased, raising an eyebrow "And there I was thinking you weren't in to him." 

"I'm not I just need to ask him about this type of amp he recommended to me, only I was too drunk to remember the name and I could really do with a new one-" I started to ramble on, trying to add to my excuse when he didn't buy it but only making it look less believable. 

"Frank, save it" He pulled out his phone "I'm texting it to you know. Just don't turn into one of those irritatingly lovestruck couples. We all already have to deal with kellin and Vic as it is, we don't need that shoved in our face too." There was hint of bitterness in his tone that I don't think came just from seeing Vic and Kellin together. I remembered what Chantal had said about how Oli was in love with that Hannah girl, and yet he wasn't sure if she felt the same. No wonder he didn't like spending time around couples. 

"Thanks" I pulled my own phone out and added the number to my contacts "And Oli?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Chantal told me about the.. stuff.. you have going on and er.." Oh crap why did I think of mentioning it at all? I was probably just going to upset him now "Well, I know I'm probably not the first person to go to on relationship advice, but I think if you love someone you need to tell them. Otherwise you might both feel the same way but neither of you ever says anything and then... well, yeah." I stumbled over my words a couple of times, but at least I seemed to get my point across to some extent.

"Thanks" He sighed after a moment "I er, I'm not good at talking relationships either, and I definitely won't bore you with that shit, but thank you." I got the impression that Oli kept his deep emotions to himself and tended not to share them. Which was probably why whenever he wrote lyrics they were the type of poetry that knew exactly where to hit you. Honestly, when I read some of the lines he wrote I felt like he was looking right into my soul and pulling his inspiration from there. 

If we were teenage girls, I'm sure we would've had no problem discussing our feelings and love lives, but we were angst-filled teenage boys who tended to want to talk about anything but. Well, at least in Oli's case that was true. Mine was more that I couldn't talk about my love life without landing Gerard in shit.

"No problem" I sighed just as Kellin re-entered the room, the tray of amp leads in his hand and his guitar pick balanced between his teeth. 

"What did I miss?" He asked, placing the tray down. 

"Nothing" Me and Oli both snapped at the same time. He bought it and just picked his lyric sheets back up, probably too busy thinking about his own relationship to realise we'd just been discussing our own ones. Well, at least what Oli thought was my one. Little did he know, hey? 

I contemplated calling Dewees on my way to Gerard's. It was on my mind the whole way there, no matter how loud I turned my music up, the sound of AFI blasting through my eardrums and surely contributing to my slowly-growing deafness. 

I knew I should just call him and get it out the way, but I was nervous about how he'd take it. What if he was still with that guy when i rang him? What if I landed both of us in shit when that guy realised we knew each other? 

I brushed it off and told myself I'd call him later on that night when he'd have got home and be alone. I knew it was vital that I spoke to him and made sure I had his silence, but right now I just wanted to see Gerard and forget about my troubles for a little bit. Well, technically he was one of them, but for the moment he was my relief. 

When I got to his house he wasn't there, so I sat down on his porch, my headphones still in, and lazily flicked through my phone. I ended up just scrolling through twitter and laughing at Pete's snap chat stories, which consisted of him eating huge amounts of pizza and a picture of Patrick asleep. 

My music was playing so loud that I didn't even notice his car pull up outside. In fact, it was only when a pair of boots appeared in my line of vision and a hand reached down to pull one of the earbuds out of my ear that I looked up and met eyes with Gerard, who was grinning down at me.

"I could hear your music from like five feet away" He chuckled "Linkin Park - right?" 

"yeah" I paused my phone and pulled out the other headphone as I rose to my feet, shoving the thing away in my bag and giving him my full attention "So, are you going to let me in or are you going to make me wait here some more?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh right, yeah" he giggled a little and opened the front door, letting me step inside first. As soon as he'd shut the door behind him, I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and started to kiss him, going straight in for sloppy open mouths and not even bothering to wait before I started to run my hands through his hair. 

At first he was a little shocked, but he quickly started to kiss me back, his hands going straight to my waist where he pulled my hips against his, making me moan against his mouth. He wasted no time in flipping us around and pushing me up against the wall, dropping his bag to the floor in the process. 

"I missed you" I mumbled as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine "How come you were so late?" To say i'd been craving him for the last 48 hours would have been an understatement. It was almost worrying how badly I couldn't get him off my mind. From his eyes, to his smirk, to how he felt pressed against me... 

"Long Skype call with Brian, went on longer than I thought it was going to" He muttered, slowly letting one hand fall so that it was brushing along my belt, coming to rest on the buckle. His other hand travelled down to my ass and stayed there as he bit his lip, as if daring me to make him move it.

"In future tell him you have plans." 

"Somehow I don't think telling him I was off to fuck a seventeen year old boy would really go down well with him" He rolled his eyes "Although he's coming home soon so I'm going to have to start making up more excuses. We'll work that out when he's back though. Right now I just wanna be with you, no interruptions" He started to place kisses down my neck until he reached the collar of my t-shirt. "Your clothes are irritating me." 

"Get rid of them then" I chuckled as he pulled my t-shirt over my head and went back to working on my belt. After a moment of fumbling around with the clasp he undid them and left me to pull them off over my ankles, removing my trainers and socks whilst I did so. By the time i'd finished doing that he'd also pulled his own jeans and shirt off. We must have looked a sight - the two of us standing in his hallway in nothing but our boxers, but neither of us cared. 

"You've been driving me mad all day" Gerard mumbled as we stumbled into his living room. "I had to pick out hymns and listen to people rant in the confessional and all the time all I could think about was what I wanted to do to you as soon as we were alone." 

"Then go ahead" I bit my lip, loving the look on his face when I did so "I'm all yours." 

My back collided with the sofa as he pushed me down into the cushions, straddling my hips with this goddam smirk on his face that made my boxers feel tight and restraining. He seemed to realise the effect he was having on me, because he slowly ran his hands up and down my sides before toying with the elastic of my boxers. 

"Fuck Gerard" I groaned when he slowly started to pull them off me, taking his precious time and even biting his lip as he did so in this way that made me want to fuck him senseless "You're such a tease." 

"You know it" he winked as his hand grasped my dick, making he squirm underneath him. His hand moved down to the inside of my thigh, making me feel cold without his grasp. Luckily, that coldness only lasted a second, because the next thing I knew he was going down on me, his warm mouth wrapped around my tip with his lips tightening around me. 

"Fuck!" I gasped when he started to move down, taking more and more of me into his mouth until I could feel myself practically hitting the back of his throat. He moved up and down, licking and sucking until I was grasping at anything I could get a hold of - from the nearby cushion to his hair- whilst he just worked away, rubbing against my inner leg as he did so. "Gerard I'm so close, ah shit" I moaned when I hit the roof of his mouth, and he just kept going down until I couldn't take it anymore - I came straight into his mouth and watched him swallow the lot. 

"I've been wanting to do that all day" he grinned, pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand "You have no idea how hard waiting all these hours has been. Just knowing you were coming over, that I'd get you to myself again" I was still too out of breath to talk, so I just listened to him as he pressed kisses all up my stomach until he reached my neck. He stopped when he reached my mouth, pausing before he placed one long kiss to my lips. 

"For someone who just figured out they were gay you sure do know how to suck someone off" I mumbled, voicing the only thought that was running through my mind. He just giggled and kissed me again, climbing back so that I could sit up. He was still straddling me though, so I got to keep my hands wrapped around his waist. 

"It kind of comes as second nature when I'm with you" he admitted, tucking some of my hair behind my ear "I guess you're just that fucking pretty." 

"I like it when you call me pretty" I admitted. There was just this way the word dripped from his lips lik syrup, his accent twanging through as he pronounced the word. It seemed even stronger than my own one. 

"Good because I like calling you it" He twisted my hair around his index finger "You're the prettiest guy i've ever seen and it turns me on."

"You're not so bad yourself" I winked and leaned forward, connecting our lips again. He kissed me back with less haste this time, going gently with me. His left hand was still in my hair and the other was on my waist, whilst my remained on his shoulders.

"Stay here a bit with me" Gerard mumbled when we broke apart "I'll get a blanket and we can just watch crappy TV and talk about crappy topics and just be together."

"Sounds ideal" I smiled, watching him stand up, still only wearing his boxers, and head off in search of a cover for us both. I located my own underwear and pulled them on (they'd ended up on the floor next to the sofa) whilst I waited.

He was back within about five minutes, carrying a blanket, a bag of popcorn and his box set of Star Wars. His hair was messed up and he still had that cute little smile on his face that made me feel weak at the knees.

"You got a favourite?" He asked, handing me the box set.

"Revenge Of The Sith please" I pulled out the DVD and handed it to him. 

"Nice choice" He grinned before placing it into the player and curling up on the sofa with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, effectively spooning me from behind, and threw the blanket over us so we wouldn't get cold. I think that's when I knew it had to be more than casual fucking - you don't curl up and watch Stars Wars unless you really like someone, right? 

I curled into him so that we were touching wherever possible, and settled down to watch the film with a content sigh, never having felt so at peace and happy, like I was sealed away from the world, even if only temporarily. 

It was just after the lava fight scene that I dozed off, Gerard seeming to follow suit. It was only when my phone started to ring that we woke up, the two of us sitting up groggily and rubbing at our eyes in an attempt to wake ourselves up. 

Much to Gerard's protest, I pulled myself up off the sofa and located my jeans (which were out in the hallway) and pulled out my phone, seeing Ray's contact flash up on the screen. 

"Hey" I answered with a yawn. 

"Hey, where are you? You were expected home over an hour ago and my parents think you're up to no good again" I glanced at the clock and saw that we'd slept for longer than I'd intended. 

"Oh. Whoops" I chuckled "Tell them I stopped round at a friend's and got delayed, i'll be back within half an hour."

"Oh don't worry I already covered for you, and I just need you to get home so that they don't think i'm lying" He laughed "I told them you were with Lynz actually, and it seems to have bought you some time. As long as you don't come home looking like you've got laid then I think it'll be fine." 

"I'll try my best to look like a sad virgin then" I replied, making him laugh again. 

"Just get home Frank" He hung up then and I started to collect my clothes together whilst Gerard watched me from the sofa. 

"I have to get going" I said, halfway through pulling my jeans back on. 

"I figured" he yawned "See you tomorrow?" 

"Of course." 

________________________________________________________________________


	20. 20

Chapter Twenty

When I got home I sat on the end of my bed and stared down at Dewees number on my screen. My thumb was hovering over the call button, and yet I still hadn't pressed it. I knew it was inevitable and that I had to call him, but I was afraid I would make things worse if I angered him in any way. 

I just wanted to be back with Gerard so I could forget about the whole thing all over again, but at the same time I knew I had to deal with it quickly. Nip it in the bud before it spread and caught up with me. 

I pressed call before I could debate it any more, and waited as it rang, rehearsing my words in my head with each shrill ring it gave on the other end. Finally, he picked up, and I didn't know wether to be glad or disappointed that he did. 

"Hello?" 

"Dewees? It's Frank" He paused for a moment before replying in a more serious tone. 

"How did you get my number?" 

"Oli." 

"Oh yeah" All the charisma he had had when we'd talked before was gone, replaced with a cold tone that made me wonder exactly how much shit we were now both in. "I forgot that you two were close." 

"Look I'm really grateful to you for covering for me the other day but it's really important that I talk to you properly. In person." I cut right to the chase before he could hang up on me or make up any excuses about what i'd seen. 

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea -"

"Come on Dewees" I snapped a little "Don't try and brush me off now. Was it such a good idea when you tried fucking drugs? When you came to a bloody park to pick them up? When you got involved with whoever that guy was?" I was met with silence on the other end, telling me he didn't have a response to excuse himself from this mess. "I didn't think so." 

"Frank if we meet up and those guys realise I know you then we'll both be in shit. They'll squeeze your name out of me and then they'll come after you and make sure you'll keep quiet for good" He rushed, sounding desperate. 

"I don't want to meer up with you either, but we have to. I need to talk to you face to face and I need to know that you're going to cover for me. I just.. I want to know what the hell is going on and I don't think we should discuss that over the phone. Now, when are you free?" I seemed to have got my point across, because this time he didn't object. 

"Um, can you bunk off college tomorrow? Say, 11am? That would be best for me. I mean, I'm busy in the afternoon and it's the only time that I know he'll be out of the picture." I took it I wasn't going to learn the other guys name. 

"Okay. Where?" 

"I'll text you my address" He gave a small sigh "and Frank? Just... don't go drawing attention to yourself for a bit okay? We don't need your face on the news or in local papers or anything like that. Just lie low. Don't get caught tagging and don't go back to the park." 

"Yes boss" I joked, but when he didn't laugh I just sighed and muttered a "bye then" before hanging up. At least he still seemed willing to help me. Or at least, that's how I reassured myself as I climbed into bed and buried myself under the duvet.

I woke up with my alarm the next day just so I could go and inform Ray, who was in his room, that I wouldn't be needing a lift to college. 

"Why?" He frowned "If you want to walk then you've left it a bit late..." 

"Not going" I yawned "Got some other stuff to do, i've already emailed to say I'm sick, not that they can do anything about it anyway. Just don't tell your parents - as far as they know i'm going in as per usual." 

"You're going to be in shit if they catch you" He sang lightly. 

"I have more important stuff to deal with than your parents and their irritating attitudes towards me" I rolled my eyes, sitting down on the end of his bed "Hey! Even better idea - if they wanna know where I am then tell them I'm with Lynz again, that worked well last time." 

"Okay. But don't keep using her as an excuse every time they ask because the more you talk about her the more they're going to want to meet her" he reasoned with me as he threw his textbooks into his backpack "seriously, my mum is crazy enough about her coming for dinner as it is. You keep this up and you're going to have to have her over." 

"I'll work something out" I shrugged, standing up "See you later, cuz." 

"So you're not going to tell me where you're going then? he called after me. I stood in the doorway and pondered what his reaction would be if I told him I was going to see a guy I once kissed to make sure he wasn't going to turn me in to some drug dealer that would surely have me by the neck if he could, and then after that I was going on to see Father Way, who I was then most probably going to fuck. 

"Oh, just around" I shrugged before heading out the door and back into my own room, leaving him to make his own assumptions. 

I probably should've cared a little more about bunking off college, but to me it was almost second nature to take a day off every once in a while, so the quick lies and cover ups came easily to me. After James and Isabel had both left the house I made my way downstairs, fixed myself some breakfast and then checked Dewees address on my phone. I didn't know the local area that well but when I checked it against google maps I was told it wasn't too far from Kellin's. 

I hung around the house for an hour or so before setting off, not wanting to get there too early. I still had time to stop off at the shop and buy myself a coke that i slurped away at all the way there. When I got close to his house I figured it would probably be a good idea to pull my hood up and keep my head hung low as a just-in-case measure. I didn't need any more on my plate at the moment, and the sooner I got this over with the better. 

His house may have not been very far from Kellin's, but it was a completely different place. Whereas Kellin's house was a big, grand building with sweeping staircases and open plan kitchens, this house was a small two bedroom red brick building with a garden that stretched to about 2 feet wide and a box of empty bottles outside the front door. 

I knocked tentatively, and waited for less than a minute before the door was being opened ever so slightly, just enough so that he could peer through the gap and confirm it was me that had stopped by, before he opened the door slightly wider and ushered me inside. 

"You're alone right?" Was the first thing he said to me when I stepped into his messy kitchen. He looked considerably worse than when I last saw him. When i'd met him at the party he'd seemed lively and humorous, but now there were bags under his eyes and he kept scratching at his arms, obviously feeling the need for another fix. 

"Of course" I nodded, glancing wearily around the room "You too right?" 

"Yeah" He nodded gruffly "I'd offer you a drink but it's probably best if we just get this over with. I don't know what time Ian's getting back and-" his eyes went wide as he realised he'd given away more than he meant to.

"So that thug's name is Ian?" I raised an eyebrow "I had him pegged for something a little more elaborate, but now you've said it I think I'm warming to it" I tried to joke again, but he still didn't laugh. That was probably when I realised that my sense of humour was going to help nobody. 

"Oh shit now you know that too" He ran a hand through his hair "Oh shit shit shit. What the hell have you got yourself into Frank? Do you even realise what you've got yourself into? Who he is? What he'll do?" 

"As long as you keep your mouth shut, he'll do nothing" I shrugged "He dosen't know my name or my address or anything about me. Besides, I'm sure he has bigger fish to fry than some kid watching his dead drop. I don't even have any proof." 

"So what? You just want to wait until he bumps into you on the streets? You just want to hang around until one day he recognises you? Until he makes you disappear? You can't live like that Frank. You won't live like that" He was shaking his head furiously by this point, looking determined enough for the both of us. 

"Well what other options do I have?" I all but yelled "Enlighten me on this other way you seemed to have come up with because I'm really not seeing it right now. I'm not leaving this town and I'm not killing anyone myself, so I really don't know what you want me to do!" No matter how colourful my record was, no matter what scumbag I came to face, I knew I couldn't kill a man with my own hands and be able to live with it.

"You really don't see it?" 

"See what?" 

"Listen Frank" He sighed "The only way that we both get out of this mess in one piece is if you join up." I instantly backed away, looking at him with horrified eyes. 

"I'm not taking drugs - That would just be killing myself!" I may have been reckless, but I knew where to draw the line. Drugs got you killed, addicted, or just a shell of your former self. They messed you up, make your sense of morality go down the drain and just fucked you over until you didn't recognise yourself anymore. 

"No not doing the drugs!" he rushed "I mean working for Ian. Dealing, if you like. You'll be paid well and you can win your way into his good books, prove to him that you can be trusted" He said it as if it were the most simple thing in the world. 

"No fucking way" I shook my head "I'm not dealing drugs just so I can buy myself some time." 

"Frank come on-" 

"No! Don't you see? What happens when I want to stop dealing? You think he'll just let me walk away? You think that if I slip up just once, he'll forgive me? What happens when he's making me try the stuff and I'm ending up a junkie like you?" He glanced down at the floor "Look, i'm sorry about that last part." 

"It's okay, it's true" He mumbled, making me feel even worse about it. "I er, should've know better than to get into all this shit." 

"It's easily done I guess" I shrugged "I know you think that me getting into it all is the easiest thing to do, but I can't. This Ian guy will forget about me soon enough and then we can pretend like this never happened." 

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. I really like you Frank" He sighed "I get why you'd rather take your chances. Just... be careful yeah? And don't tell anyone. Even if you got Ian arrested, he still has friends that would get you back." 

"I won't" I started to make my way towards the door "I'll er, see you around I guess." 

"Yeah" He scratched the back of his neck "It's probably better if you keep your distance from me though. I mean, talk to me if we're around Oli but... apart from that." 

"I get it" I turned and glanced around the house briefly "And Dewees? Please stop using. Don't throw your life down the drain for drugs. They'll leave you a mess." 

"I'll try" He sighed, opening the door for me "Just like you've gotta try not to draw any attention to yourself, okay?" 

"Okay" And with that I stepped out the front door "Bye." 

I had some time to kill before I was expected at Gerard's, and seeing as the park was out of bounds to me now I thought I might as well do a bit of tagging. I headed over to the other side of town (far away from Dewees and the park) and found a wall around the back of a restaurant that had a good, blank wall on which I could spray. 

I sprayed a picture of two figures - one was reaching out for a pile of needles and various drugs, whilst the other had wrapped his arms around the figure from behind and was holding him back. The first figure was struggling against his grip, but failing. 

I wished I could do the same to Dewees, but I knew that real life was a lot more complex. If he was going to give up, he was going to have to decide that on his own accord. I just hoped he'd see sense. 

__________________________________________________________________


	21. 21

Chapter Twenty One

I wasn't disappointed when I knocked on Gerard's door. This time he was home, and before I could knock for a third time he was opening the door and pulling me inside. Before I could even say hello he'd pressed me up against the back of the door and was kissing me, hard and fast and without any sort of introduction. My brain was too fuzzy from all the hormones rushing through me to even fully acknowledge where his hands were - all I knew was that I could feel something squeezing my ass.

"Sorry" He grinned, pulling away but keeping his hands where they were "I've had a stressful day and I really needed to let that out."

"Don't apologise" I pulled him closer to me by placing my hand on the back of his neck and gripping hold of his hair "You should get stressed out more often if it makes you this horny."

"Yeah well it's not every day your boss tells you he's coming back early" He sighed.

"What? Brian?"

"No Santa, of course it's Brian" He rolled his eyes, tone dripping with sarcasm "Sorry, I think the stress makes me extra sassy."

"It's okay, I like sassy Gerard" I chuckled, letting him pull away from me and start to lead me into the kitchen "Why's he coming home early anyways?"

"Oh, turns out him and his girlfriend went out there together and they split up about three days ago. Massive row. Vases thrown. By her, that is. She wanted to stay on out there and he didn't want to be near her anymore so he's coming back. Luckily it wasn't too serious so he shouldn't be too upset."

"At least you won't have to run the church on your own anymore" I shrugged, watching as he made us both cups of coffee and handed me mine. I was determined not to let it go cold this time, knowing there'd be plenty of time for Gerard later on, but right then I needed my caffeine fix.

"Yeah, but I was suppose to do a whole list of things that I haven't go round to because I thought I had more time before he get's back, which means I'm going to be too busy to see you properly for the next few days" He sighed, leaning over and tucking some of my hair behind my ear "Which sucks because you're going to have to start coming to the church after college again so that he dosen't suspect anything. Which means we'll have to find other times to be together." My frown got deeper as he went on.

"Dammit" I snapped "We'll find a way though. I mean, I'll start telling more lies about where I am, and we'll act super casual around each other when we're at the church with him. I'm sure Brian won't mind if you don't everything done, I mean he's pulled a surprise on you by coming back early."

"yeah I guess, I just want him to think he can trust me to get everything done around here. I hate having him watch over me as if i'm not qualified. Just because this is my first placement dosen't mean I don't know what I'm doing" He rolled his eyes.

"Technically you're doing a seventeen year old dude" I commented, making him giggle and playfully smack my arm.

"Shut up - you can't talk either. You're doing a priest!"

"No, I'm about to do a priest. Difference" I placed my empty mug down on the side and leaned over, kissing him across the table "come on, let's go upstairs." I didn't need to ask twice. As soon as my lips left his he'd put his mug on the side and grabbed me by the hand, pulling me up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"I guess it would be waste if we didn't use this free time whilst we have it" He giggled, pushing me up against the door with one hand whilst the other worked on pulling up my shirt. I raised my hands and let him pull it off, over my head, before his hands went to my jeans and started to pull them off my legs. When his hands brushed against my bare legs I couldn't help but shiver, making him look up at me with a suggestive smile. "You get horny so easily" he chuckled, getting to his feet and pulling off his own jeans.

"And you don't?" I placed my hand on his pale thigh and slipped it between his legs, making him gasp and his knees almost buckle when i started to let my hand creep up to the base of his dick. I slowly rubbed my hand between his legs whilst he rushed to get his shirt off. His hands then moved to his collar, but I put a hand out to stop him. "Leave the collar on" I whispered, and his eyes widened.

"You want to fuck me in my collar?" He gulped as I pushed him back onto the bed.

"What can I say? It turns me on" I leaned down and started to nibble his earlobe whilst I placed my legs either side of his waist. He immediately grabbed my thighs and held on tight enough that I had to hold back a string of weird noises that were threatening to burst through. "Now I have a kink for priests AND their collars. What are you doing to me, Gerard Way?"

"I think it's what you're doing to me that we should be concerning ourselves with right now" He reached over and handed me the lube and a condom, which he seemed to have already left out. Obviously he'd been prepared for my visit after what went down last time.

"Someone's eager."

"Just fuck me already" I laughed, but started to slather the lube onto my fingers all the same, waiting for him to adjust his legs so that they were wrapped tightly around my waist and he was pulling his hips upwards so that i'd be able to reach and yet still see his face. It was worth going to the extra effort if I got to see his face when I slid my first finger in, making him squirm underneath me.

I added a second one almost immediately, and after a minute or so of finger-fucking him I pulled my hand away and started to slide on the condom.

"Let me" he pulled himself up so that he could tear open the packet with his teeth and then start to slide on the rubber object, making me gasp and go from being hard to unbearably so. His hands felt so good, even through the thin layer of plastic.

"G-get back on your back" I gulped, and he immediately fell back into his previous position, not letting me ask twice. When I finally thrust into him I couldn't help but cry out - and he was quick to join me, his hands reaching up to grab at my hair as I pulled out and then slammed back into him, hard. He was practically screaming out, and every time he did he tilted his head back in ecstasy, showing off the collar that was still secured tightly around his neck, now with a hint of sweat on the shiny, metallic part.

"Fuuuck" He moaned when i continued to keep up the fast pace. I could feel the tension building inside of me with each thrust, and I knew it was getting to him too by the way his hips bucked every time I slammed back into him. Soon his arms were too weak to keep hold of my hair, and they dropped to his sides where he clawed at the sheets instead.

When I thrust back in again his low moan turned to a louder, high pitched one, telling me if his his g-spot. I smirked and he noticed it as I thrust back again, making sure to hit that exact same spot again. I could tell immediately that I did by the way his eyes bulge wide and his mouth hung open, exposing his tiny little teeth.

"Do that again" he gasped.

"Are you close?" I asked between breaths, to which he nodded vigorously. I kept up the pace to the best of my ability, fighting to keep going for as long as possible. I could feel him starting to tighten around me, and so knew it was only a matter of moments until he was spent. I was determined to make him come first though, and I bit down on my gums in an attempt to stop myself from giving out.

After a few more slams I felt him tighten completely, and he let out another long cry that told me he was there. I reached down and wrapped my hand around his dick, pumping him a matter of maybe twice before he came into my hand. Once he had come it was enough to tip me over the edge. I released inside of him almost immediately, my eyes rolling back into my head out of pure pleasure, before I pulled out.

I pulled off the condom and chucked it towards the bin with minimal energy, brushing my hair out of my face as I did so. 

We both collapsed onto the bed, panting and sweating and just a general hot mess. Gerard reached up and pulled his collar off, chucking it to one side before turning to face me, a content smile spreading across his features.

"You look beautiful when you're all sweaty like this" he sighed quietly, leaning over and brushing my fringe with his fingertips. "I think it's because only I get to see you this way, it just makes you even more attractive."

"You never look better than when you're squirming beneath me" I replied, making him blush a little "and if I had my way that would be all the time."

"All the time might be asking for a little too much" he chuckled "we do actually have to leave the house at some point you know."

"I know" I wrapped my arm around his pale waist. For a moment we just lay there in comfortable silence, before I decided to break it by asking a question that had been on my mind for a while now. "Gee?"

"Yes sugar?"

"What are we, exactly?" I moved our bodies closer together "you said this was more than sex, so what is it then? Are we an item?"

"I guess so, yeah" he mused "that's if you're up for being my secret-for-now boyfriend?"

"I think I'll suit the job just fine" I pressed a kiss to his neck, right over where my hickey i'd given him was stil visible. His grip on me tightened, letting me now that the area was still sensitive to him. "You mind if I take a nap?" 

"Of course not" He pulled me closer so that both his arms were wrapped tightly around me and my head was buried in the crook of his neck "I'll join you." He started to gently brush his fingers up and down my back, making me relax even further. 

When I woke up Gerard was no longer in the bed with me. I stretched my arms out above my head, noticing he'd pulled the blanket over me so I wouldn't get cold before he left. I wondered briefly where he'd gone, but figured he had probably just gone downstairs to fetch himself a coffee or something similar. 

I let myself lie there on the bed for a while, still feeling almost high from earlier. My teenage hormones were still rushing through me at high speed, making me want to pull him back to bed and do it all over again. 

With a yawn I stumbled out of the bed and pulled on my boxers, leaving the rest of my clothes in a heap on the floor for me to put on later. It was only when I reached the top of the stairs that I heard Gerard talking from downstairs. Figuring he was on the phone, I carried on down, only stopping when I turned the corner. 

I was wrong. Gerard wasn't on the phone. 

He was standing there in the kitchen, fully clothed and luckily facing the doorway, whilst another man who had his back to me stood opposite. From what I could see he was tall, with long lanky legs and dyed black hair. 

"... and so I figured with the remaining money i'd take a trip over here to visit you. It's not the same without you back in Jersey and I've really missed you.." the guy was saying. As he spoke Gerard's eyes caught mine, and he quickly glanced me up and down taking in my lack of clothes and probably bedhead of hair. His eyes grew wide before quickly turning back to the guy. 

"I missed you too Mikey" he smiled as if nothing was wrong "Really. It's not the same around here without my baby brother. I just wish you'd given me some warning though so I could tidy up the place" I was pretty sure the 'baby brother' part of that had been for my benefit. I hadn't even realised Gerard had a brother, let alone that he was called Mikey and that he was right there in the kitchen, and at any moment abut to turn around and see me. 

I started to quietly step backwards, hoping I could get up the stairs, put on my clothes and then hide somewhere until Gerard could safely smuggle me out before his brother found out about the two of us. 

Of course, I was forgetting one thing: something that came in the form of a step just before the staircase, which when tripped over backwards can send you falling onto your butt with an almighty crash.

The moment I hit the ground this Mikey guy spun around, his eyes going wide when he saw me scrambling to my feet in nothing but my boxers, a blush radiating right across my face as I tried to think of something clever to say.

"Um, hey" was all i managed, glancing over at Gerard who looked like he'd frozen up, unsure of what to do next.

"Who the hell is this?" Mikey cried, turning to Gerard "and why isn't he wearing any clothes?"

"Technically he is wearing some clothes, just not that many" Gerard muttered, not really helping the situation.

"Gerard-"

"Okay, okay!" he held his hands up "This is Frank, and this is also the reason why it's good for people to call first before they come and visit you!" Mikey turned back to me, and I gave a small, awkward little wave. 

"Nice to meet you" I stepped forward, pulling one of Gerard's hoodies off the arm of the sofa and then pulling it on in an attempt to make myself look somewhat clothed and not like i'd just been fucking his older brother senseless.

"Pleasure" He mumbled before turning back to Gerard "So what's he doing here? Are you gay now? Why didn't you tell me? Does Brian know? What else aren't you telling me?" he started to ramble, and Gerard held up a hand to stop him. 

"Mikes, please, one question at a time" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

"Fine" Mikey snapped "Are you gay?" 

"I think i'm bisexual, but I guess so, yes." 

"Does Brian know?" 

"No. Nobody but me and Frank. And now you, too. That's the way I want to keep it for now" Gerard leaned back against the same counter we'd made out against just days before. 

"And are you two..." he gestured between the two of us. I stepped closer into the room so I was standing near Gerard, still not sure what Mikey's full reaction was going to be. 

"We're in a relationship, yes" Gerard sighed and sent me a small smile before turning back to his brother "Look Mikey, I was going to tell you, I just had to figure out how to say it. No one else knows yet and it's all just happened so quickly-" 

"It's okay Gee, i'm just shocked, that's all" Mikey let out a smile "the last time i saw you I thought you were straight and too busy trying to prove yourself to even be interested in a relationship. And now you're with Frank... and it's just a lot to take in." 

"Take as long as you need" Gerard stepped over and pulled his brother into a hug "Thank you for being so supportive of me. I knew you would be." 

"Anytime" Mikey chuckled, hugging him back and looking at me over his shoulder "and it really is nice to meet you Frank. Anyone who makes my brother happy is a friend of mine." 

"Well as I said it's awesome to meet you. I didn't even realise Gerard had a brother" I glanced over at the clock, seeing that I'd slept for longer than I probably should have. I knew I'd have to get going soon if i wanted to keep James and Isabel at bay. 

"Had I never mentioned Mikey to you?" Gerard seemed surprise "That's unlike me." I had to bite my tongue in order to not remind him that we tended to have other things on our minds when we were together instead of talking about our family trees. 

"No I don't think so" I glanced over at the clock again. 

"You need to go?" He sighed and I gave a small nod. 

"It's probably best if I did." 

"Do you want me to drive you?" 

"Nah it's okay, you catch up with your brother" I smiled. 

"Have to go?" Mikey frowned "Where do you need to be? I don't want you to leave on my account. I'm honestly fine with you being here." 

"No no, it's not that. I just need to get home that's all." I didn't add that it was because I was under strict rules set by the aunt and uncle, as then I would not only have to go into why they didn't trust me, but also why I was living with them in the first place.

"Okay, well I'll see you round here sometime soon no doubt" He smiled, seeming to actually like me now that he'd had time to absorb the situation. 

"Yeah" I nodded "Well, i'm going to go get my stuff" and by stuff I meant my clothes. I headed upstairs and pulled my own clothes back on, and bumped into Gerard on the landing, who was holding my bag for me. 

"Here" he passed it to me "Sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming to visit or I would've warned you." 

"It's okay" I kissed him briefly before hugging him. He hugged me back with a light sigh "as long as he dosen't mention it to anyone it'll be fine." 

"Don't worry, he won't" He reluctantly pulled away and followed me down the stairs, standing at the door with me for a moment. "I'll er, see you at church on Sunday." 

"See you then Father Way" I giggled, making him roll his eyes and press me against the door, kissing me once more. It was a close-mouthed kiss, but that didn't make it any less hot when his hands were clawing at my waist like that.

"Don't make it sound so dirty, i've gotta have a clean head when i'm up there and now all i'm going to be thinking about it how suggestive you make it sound" he mumbled against my lips. 

"If it helps, i'll be spending the whole service thinking about fucking you" I whispered back, making him groan for one last time before I opened the door and stepped out into the cool, evening air, throwing my bag over my shoulder in the process. 

Man, teasing Gerard was fun. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

I think I may be going to hell for that comment about the collar... oh well.


	22. 22

Chapter Twenty Two

We just about made it to church in time on Sunday. Mainly because I had gotten up late and then Ray had spent about twenty minutes attempting to tame his hair, which had chosen that day to go completely wild. Needless to say, James and Isabel had been panicking and chasing us around the house in an effort to herd us both out of the door. 

That's how we ended up all getting seats right near the back. I slouched down in my chair, much to Isabel's annoyance, and watched as everyone settled down and Gerard started to talk. His eyes travelled along the rows until he finally spotted me, and he smirked a little to himself as he glanced back down at the book in front of him. I could just about see Mikey sitting on the front row, and every now and again he would turn around, looking kind of bored. I guessed he was there to support Gerard more than anything else. 

"So as most of you know, Father Schetcher will be back tomorrow from Australia...." Gerard started to talk about trivial matters that didn't interest me, so I zoned out again. I cursed this Brian guy for coming back early. Because of him Gerard had been busy all of yesterday and had told me he would still be busy right up until Tuesday. Even then, I had to come to the church and help out with Brain around, meaning unless I could magic up an excuse for me and Gerard to have some time alone, I was stuck pretending that there was nothing going on between us. 

At the end of the service everyone started to mill around and made idle chit-chat that bored me half to death. Gerard had fucked off somewhere, probably to go get a coffee knowing him, so i was stuck standing with my family and wishing I could be upstairs with him instead. 

Luckily Gerard walked back in after about five minutes, Mikey at his side and sure enough, both had a cup of coffee in their hands. 

"Father Way" before I knew what was happening James had grabbed me by the arm and was beckoning for Gerard to come over. At first Gerard pretended not to hear, instead continuing to talk to Mikey, but then James just ended up dragging me over to them anyway. 

"Get off me" I grunted, yanking myself out of his grip. Of course, by then it was too late and Gerard could no longer ignore us without being totally rude. He reluctantly turned around, glancing briefly between Mikey and me before his gaze settled on James. 

"Hey" He chirped as if nothing was wrong "Everything okay?" 

"That's what I wanted to ask you" James cracked a smile and Gerard matched it with a somewhat fake one. James then turned to Mikey, who kept sneaking glances over at me. "Hello, I don't believe we've met. My name's James Toro." 

"Oh i'm Gerard younger brother, Mikey" Mikey shook his hand very briefly. 

"You wanted to ask me something?" Gerard interjected before James could get around to introducing me. He was tapping the side of his cup with his index finger at a fast pace, but apart from that he didn't looked at all stressed. I however, bit my lip and hoped Mikey wouldn't listen to carefully to whatever my uncle had to say. 

"Oh yeah, I just wanted to check that Frank here was behaving himself on his duties here after college" He gestured vaguely towards me before turning to Mikey "My nephew here dosen't exactly have the best reputation when it comes to behaviour and crime, so you're brother has very kindly agreed to keep an eye on him here on weekdays." 

"Oh, i didn't realise you two were related" Mikey tried to smile through his shock.

"Unfortunately" I grumbled, earning myself a glare.

"Frank's staying with us until he turns 18" James took it upon himself to explain "it was easier for everyone involved if he gained some more guidance, and Gerard is definitely helping us there. We're very grateful." 

"You're under Eighteen?" Mikey tried to keep his tone neutral "woah, you look older than you are I guess." 

"I'm seventeen, i'll be Eighteen on October 31st" I sighed "then i'm free." James didn't even bother to glare at me for that one. Mikey looked like he was biting his tongue, and looked over at Gerard with an expectant expression. 

"Well Frank's getting on fine here" Gerard rushed "Hey Mikey, i've just remembered that I didn't get you that book you wanted from upstairs, let's go get it" He turned back to me and James "Excuse us a minute." Before we could talk anymore Gerard had grabbed his younger brother by the hand and was towing him away, back towards the side door and probably on to his office. 

"I'm going to go to the toilet, back in a minute" I mumbled to James before pushing through the crowd, heading after the two brothers. I had to hang back so it didn't look like I was following them, but after about a minute I slipped into the back rooms and when I was positive no one was looking, I made my way up the stairs. 

Sure enough, when I entered the room they were both there. Gerard was sitting down on the sofa whilst Mikey was standing, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Er, hey" I was reminded of a few days previously when i'd stood awkwardly before them both. At least this time I was expecting it. 

"Hey Frankie" Gerard sent me a smile despite the shit i'd just landed in him with Mikey, who just gestured for me to come in whilst murmuring something about shutting the door behind me. "I was just about to explain to Mikey here-" 

"Explain what?" Mikey finally sat down with a frustrated groan "Gerard, I can get on board with you being gay, but sleeping with a teenager? You'd be in so much shit if anyone else found out..." 

"Technically I wouldn't be breaking the law as the legal age of consent is 16" Gerard interjected quickly, probably using the only card he currently held. 

"Yeah, but you'd lose your fucking job!" Mikey hissed in response "you're in a position of trust and you're suppose to be overseeing Frank, not having sex with him! You'd be fired and your whole career would go up in flames. All your training would be for nothing!" 

"You think I don't already know that?" Gerard sighed "Look, no one else but you knows and that's the way we're going to keep it. Once Frank turns Eighteen in October we'll be able to have a public relationship. Yes, people will still frown on it, but there won't be anything they'll be able to do against it." 

"You really think you can both keep this a secret for five more months?" Mikey asked, turning to me now "How are you going to keep up with all the lies you spin your family for that long? They'll get suspicious, especially if you've got a bad record anyway." 

"They honestly don't care where i go or what I do as long as I don't get into trouble, and they would never suspect anything anyway. They think I have a girlfriend" Gerard raised an eyebrow at that. 

"Who?" 

"My friend Lynz. They made the wrong assumption and I didn't correct them on it. I figured it would be easier that way." 

"Oh sure, bury yourself in even more lies why don't you" Mikey rolled his eyes "Seriously, couldn't you both just wait or something?" 

"No" We both replied at the same time. 

"Horny bastards" Mikey grumbled to himself, crossing his arms over his chest "Gee can you get me a coffee or something? I need one right now." 

"Get one yourself" Gerard retorted indignantly before turning to me "You going to stand in the doorway all day or are you gunna sit down?" He was acting as if the whole thing didn't phase him, or maybe he just trusted his brother to the extent that they told each other everything anyway. Judging by what I had seen of their relationship, i'd say this was true.

"That's it?" I frowned at Mikey "You're just going to leave it?" 

"Frank, I know my brother like the back of hand" Mikey sighed "and once he's made his mind up about something, however stupid, there really is no changing it. Besides, even if you're underage I still like you and think you two go well together. So yes, I'm leaving it up to you guys to keep it quiet."

"Don't worry about us Mikes" Gerard chuckled "we know how to keep a secret." 

"Well I really need to get back" I sighed, making Gerard stand up "the others will all wonder what's taking me so long otherwise." 

"I'll see you tomorrow after college" Gerard pulled me into a solid hug, pressing his face into the crook of my neck "unfortunately we have to come here, but at least i'll still see you." 

"Sure, see you then" I pulled away "And don't worry, we'll work something out around Brian" I turned to Mikey then "It was nice to see you again, even if it was under these circumstances." 

"Just be careful okay Frank?" He was smiling when he said it, so at least he still liked me despite the age gap he was now aware of "Nothing makes me happier than seeing Gerard find happiness himself, that's the main thing here. Just don't let anyone screw it up for you." 

"Got it" I grinned before turning and heading down the stairs, reaching the conclusion as I did so that I liked Mikey Way. He seemed like a genuine enough guy, and he had judged me based on my personality and not on the cold facts that lay before him. He was giving me a chance despite everything, and I found myself eager to prove to him that he had made the right choice in accepting me and Gerard. 

There wasn't much to do on sunday afternoons when you lived with the Toro's. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy up in my room mindlessly surfing the internet and sketching cartoon vampires now and again, all the while blasting my music through my headphones and a deafening volume. But all the same, when I heard the familiar chords of Enter Sandman floating from Ray's room, I couldn't help but stop in my original route back from the bathroom and divert into his room. 

"Nice playing" I complimented, shutting the door behind me and flopping down into his beanbag chair. He was sat on the edge of the bed, playing away with his head bopping along to the music. He got to the end of the chorus before he stopped and turned to me. 

"Thanks. Want a go?" He held out the instrument to me, which I immediately took and started to strum a few times before I settled down into the familiar tune of It's My Life by Bon Jovi. "Nice one, I need to learn that" he added when he realised what song I had chosen. 

"I'll teach you if you like?" I looked up at him, and I didn't have to wait long for his answer. 

"Sure" He patted the seat next to him "teach me your ways, oh wise one." 

An hour later and Ray had dug out his acoustic, and the two of us were both jamming away together. You wouldn't think our playing skills would work together - with me being an erratic, frenzied guitarist whereas he was simply Brian May junior, but it just seemed to go together perfectly, and the sounds that we were creating make something spark within me. 

"Ray have you seen my-" James walked into the room, immediately killing the good mood I had previously been feeling and replacing it with pure irritation, much like you would get if a wasp flew into your bedroom when you were trying to concentrate on something else. 

He stopped when he was the two of us sitting together, guitars balanced in our laps and our hands frozen mid-strum. Ray gave him a half smile, whilst I just gave him a stony expression that told him exactly how much i didn't want him there. 

"Seen your what?" Ray asked, obviously to the cold stare I was giving his dad over his shoulder. 

"Oh. Never mind. I'll ask your mother" He trailed off, still looking at me "In fact, it's almost dinner. Frank, why don't you come downstairs and help your aunt out?" I knew he just wanted me out the room, so I turned to Ray. 

"You coming along?" I asked, and much to his dad's irritation, Ray nodded, putting his guitar down on the bed and following me out of the room. I figured he was just trying to get me out of the room anyway, and I wasn't about to pass up on a opportunity to wind up my uncle. 

"I'd tell you to stop if it wasn't so funny to see that look on my dad's face" Ray mumbled to me and we descended the stairs. 

"I wish he could hear you say that. Now that would be an expression and a half" I chuckled back as we headed into the kitchen. 

"Not happening" He shook his head "I'd be grounded and you'd totally get the blame for it anyway." 

"Spoil sport" I joked, making us both laugh as we walked into the kitchen, much to Isabel's distain. She glanced wearily between the two of us like I was carrying some sort of contagious disease that would be especially harmful to her son. 

"We were sent to help out" Ray explained when she didn't say anything. 

"Right. Well Frank, you carry the food over and Ray you lay the table" she replied curtly before turning back around right as James walked into the room. I met his eye and sent him a sickening smirk that made him clench his fists at his sides. 

"Actually, can I borrow Frank for a minute?" Before Isabel could agree he was walking out the room. he turned back when he reached the doorway and waited with his arms crossed until I gave up, and with a sigh followed him into the living room. 

"What do you want now?" 

"What did I tell you when you first arrived here Frank?" he groaned, turning to glare at me "the one thing I said I couldn't stand to happen, the one thing I forbid you to do. The one thing you've gone ahead and done anyway." 

"There's a long list of things i'm not suppose to do...." I hummed "you'll have to be a bit more specific than that." 

"Ray" He groaned "I'm talking about Ray. I told you to stay away from him, not hand out in his bedroom and play guitar together! We didn't take you in just so you could corrupt him and screw up his future just to anger me." 

"I can't screw up someone's future for them, that's something they would have to do on their own" I raised an eyebrow "besides, Ray hasn't done anything wrong. We just talk, you can't expect us to blank each other when we live together." 

"Not yet he hasn't, and I intend to keep it that way" He stepped closer to me, probably in an attempt to look more threatening (it obviously didn't work, but at least the effort provided some lose form of entertainment for me "I mean it Frank. You get him in any sort of trouble, if you drag him into a bad crowd or in any way involve him in your various illegal activities then I will kick you out of this house quicker than your parents did." 

For some reason that just snapped something within me. 

I didn't even think about what I did next. One minute I was standing there, both of us glaring at each other like there was no tomorrow, and then the next moment I was pulling my fist back, watching as I swung forward and punched him square in the face. 

I stood there, fist still raised as he clutched his face with a yell and dropped to his knees, gasping from the pain. 

"You don't know jack shit about me. You don't know shit about my home either. And you definitely don't give a shit" I hissed "Now get off my back before I make you." 

And with that I turned and stormed up the stairs, ignoring the yells coming from Isabel and the shocked look that Ray gave me. I just slammed the door behind me and collapsed on the bed, intending not to move for the rest of the night. 

__________________________________________________________


	23. 23

Chapter Twenty Three

I turned up to church on Monday with a scowl on my face. My day, to be summed up in a word, had been shitty, and now instead of being able to spend time with Gerard, I was going to have to deal with Brian. Although I hadn't even met him yet I was still irritated by his existence. He was a fucking cock block, wether he realised it or not.

I tugged on the ends of my hoodie and pulled myself inside, looking like your average, sullen teenager who would rather be anywhere else. In music all Kellin had talked about was Vic and the concert on Saturday, and although it had been fun to plan it all out I couldn't help but feel jealous when he so openly talked about his boyfriend. I wanted to be able to tell him about me and Gerard too, about how I'd never felt this way before and just all the details I couldn't share. But instead I just had to sit there and pretend that I was a single teenage boy who wasn't looking for any sort of relationship whilst he told me countless funny stories about his and Vic's crazy antics.

Oli had mentioned something about seeing Hannah that night, so I gave him an encouraging smile on my way out of the college campus. Hopefully he'd take my advice and just tell the girl he was head over heels for her before it was too late.

"Hello?"I yelled as I walked into the main part of the church. There in front of me was Gerard, standing near a tapestry with his shirt rolled up to his elbows and a smile on his face from the moment he saw me. Next to him was a man i presumed to be Father Brian Schetcher. He was wearing more traditional priest robes, with short dark hair and a serious, but not unwelcoming expression.

"Frank!" Gerard greeted me warmly, going for the nothing-to-hide approach and probably making a better job of it than I was "This is Father Schetcher. Brian, this is James and Isabel's nephew, Frank Iero. He comes after college to help out around here."

"Ahh so you're the troublemaker" Brian chuckled, reaching out to shake my hand "Nice to meet you Frank, I trust Gerard here has been keeping an eye on you then?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that" I nodded, trying not to let any sarcasm seep through, no matter how tempting. I wasn't use to trying to follow the rules or be generally well behaved, but I was willing to give it a shot for Gerard's sake. "I mean, I sort through the books and all that, and I clean now and again..."

"Well it's nice to see that your aunt and uncle care about you enough to send you here everyday" The moment he said it, Gerard shot me a warning glance, telling me not to rise to the conversation topic. I bit my tongue for his sake, and just made a humming noise in response.

"Why don't I get us all some coffee?" Gerard tried to change the subject "Frank do you want a cup?"

"Yeah, sure" I nodded, hoping Brian would get the hint and drop it. Naturally, he didn't.

"I mean it must have been very good of them to take you in at such short notice too" he continued regardless "to just welcome you into their home like that... you must be very grateful huh kid?" He even added the kid bit on the end like he was trying to irritate me. I was pretty sure he didn't mean to wind me up though, so I tried to keep my expression a happy one.

"Oh, well you know, family is family I guess" I shrugged, scuffing my shoes against the stone flooring.

"It sure is" He turned to Gerard, who was lingering in the doorway and watching the two of us interact with a small, nervous expression "Sorry, did you need Frank to give you a hand?"

"Um, yeah actually" Gerard nodded "Frank, could you come upstairs with me? I've got a job for you to do..."

"Sure" I hastily agreed before Brian could start to talk to me about family values and all that crap, quickly following Gerard out of the room and up the stairs to his office. It was only when he'd shut the door behind him and turned on the coffee machine, effectively drowning out any conversation noise, that he spoke.

"Sorry about that, he dosen't know that you and James don't er, get on so well" He leaned back against the table and folded his arms.

"That's one way to put it" I chuckled, unable to help myself.

"Why? What's happened now?"

"I might have punched him in the face last night...." I trailed off and watched as he tried and failed to hide the smirk appearing on his face "Dude just fucking laugh if you want to." He let out a small snort before composing himself.

"Sorry, not to condone violence or anything but the mental image is pretty damn funny" He sighed happily "But seriously, why did you punch him? Are you in shit for it? Well, obviously you are, but is it really deep?"

"Eh, average amount of shit i'd say" I shrugged it off "nothing that I can't handle on my own."

"You're avoiding the question" he frowned, stepping closer to me "What did he say Frankie?" He placed his fingers underneath my chin and titled my head up so I had no choice but to look him in the eye "Tell me."

"At first he was just warning me to stay away from Ray" I sighed, feeling myself loosen up a little at our proximity "and then he brought my parents kicking me out into it, making me out to be yesterday's trash. He said he'd kick me out even faster than my own parents did..." As I retold his insult it just made me even happier to have punched him.

"You're not trash, you're fucking treasure, okay?" He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug "and he's a dickhead for saying that to you. If you hadn't punched him I'd go and do it myself."

"Somehow I don't really think that would be considered lying low" I mumbled into his shoulder "But thank you Gee."

"You don't need to thank me for telling the truth" he insisted "the sooner you turn Eighteen and are away from that couple the better. I couldn't stand them before, but after seeing how they treat you? Now I can hardly bare look at them both."

"Try living with them" I pulled back so I could see him properly "Five more months though, huh? Then it's all over, i'll be able to move out and we can be a public couple." I tried not to think about all the things that could happen in five months, of how early on our relationship was. We simply had to make five months in my mind. For my own sanity if nothing else.

"Counting down the days sugar" he kissed me briefly "Just you wait. Once you're a legal adult i'm going to be able to do this to you in public" He kissed me again, this time for a little longer, tugging at my bottom lip as he did so.

"To be honest i'm even more interested in the things you still won't be able to do to me in public" I whispered, making him groan a little.

"Not here frank" He tried his best to scold me "Brian could come up here at any minute and I need you to at least look like you're doing something productive. Otherwise he'll wonder what we've been doing up here for the last ten minutes."

"I'll just sit here and do some coursework" I reluctantly stepped away from him and collapsed down into the sofa, getting out my English folder "You sit over there and do whatever it is you need to finish up, and then maybe you could give me a lift home later?"

"Sure, but no trying anything. I'm serious Frank" He sat down "If Brian see's anything we're fucked. We've gotta keep it innocent around here for both our sakes. Leave me to work on a time for us to be together properly."

"Okay" I sighed "But I don't see where we can even go anymore. Mikey's staying at yours, Brian's always going to be here now and I wouldn't come to mine unless you had a death wish. How are we suppose to be together?"

"We'll just have to get adventurous" He tapped his finger against his chin "I'll plan out something, don't worry." 

*

Me and Gerard didn't get much of a chance to properly talk after that. Brian kept coming and going from the office, and every time I tried to being up the subject of us, he would dismiss it and tell me we'd talk properly later.

I hated Brian, even though he hasn't exactly done anything wrong, but I still hated him anyway. I wanted to be able to spend proper time with Gerard. It was the thing that I looked forward to most throughout each day and now I was stuck pretending like I hardly knew the guy at all.

By the time I got into Gerard's car so he could drop me home I'd completed my homework to an actually acceptable level and even designed a few new murals for the local streets to soon host.

"That's the first time I've ever been with you and time has actually gone slow" Gerard sighed and he climbed into the car next to me "Seriously, we're going to have to think of something because I can't just sit there every day with you meters away."

"You and me both" I grumbled, clipping in my seatbelt "Can't you like, send Brian to visit some sick people or something? Or whatever the fuck priests even do six days of the week."

"I'll try" He stated as we pulled out onto the main road "but I just don't want to make him in any way suspicious of us. I'll take you out somewhere soon though. We'll go somewhere where no one will recognise us."

"What? Like a date?"

"You seem surprised" He frowned "Why?"

"I just didn't realise that you were that serious about me" I'd kind of been wondering if I was nothing but a fuck to him, but then he would turn around with things like this that made me wonder if maybe I did mean something more to him. I knew he was certainly starting to mean more to me, from the way he made me feel every time I saw him to the way we'd fallen asleep together watching Star Wars. Friends with benefits definitely didn't do that.

"Of course I am" he reached over and squeezed my knee "And I mean it too. We'll go away for a night. How does this weekend sound?"

"I can't this weekend. I'm seeing my friends band perform. Everyone's going. It's not really something I can get out of" I sighed, not wanting to back out on my commitment to my friends, especially as I really wanted to go and see Vic's band.

"Next weekend then. I'll book us a hotel for Friday night, maybe Saturday too if you can get away with it."

"Where would we go?"

"Leave that to me" he smirked as he turned into the road behind my house. He parked the car facing a brick wall, right in the corner of the street where nobody would be able to see us, especially with the evening light. "I'll take care of all the details."

He leaned over and kissed me then, his hand inching further up my thigh in an attempt to tease me, and man did it work. I groaned a little when his tongue slid over my bottom lip, and he just used the opportunity to deepen the kiss further, his other hand resting on my hip.

After I got over the initial shock of the sudden kiss, I placed my hands in his hair, pulling him as close to me as he could get in the confined space of the car. He let his hand travel further up, and when he started to palm me through my jeans I let out a low moan, pulling his lip between my teeth as I do so.

"Fuck Gee" I breathed, trying to calm myself down before I got a full blown boner right there in the car "don't get me all excited before I go and see my freaking family."

"I'm sorry, it's just so fun" he giggled, keeping his hand there anyway. "I like to make you squirm."

"Tease" I grumbled.

"Oh now i'm the tease?" He raised an eyebrow "after all the looks you kept giving me back there I think if anyone is going to be labelled a tease, it would have to be you."

"I can't help it if you get turned on my lip biting, which I do when i'm concentrating" I had actually noticed the looks he gave me every time I did it, and so had bit my lip a bit more than perhaps necessary, but still.

"Yeah well it just reminds me of all the others places they've been" I playfully smacked his arm for that one.

"If that's your way of asking for a backseat blow job then forget it" I picked up my bag and opened the passenger door "you'll have to save that one for next weekend." He chuckled at that, watching me climb out the car.

"I look forward to it!" He yelled after me as I started to walk down the street, heading towards the relatives from hell and wishing I could just turn around and climb back in his car. I wanted to just go home with him and stay there forever, never having to face my uncle again.

Unfortunately for me with a wave and a smile Gerard was gone, and I was left to walk inside alone, kicking off my shoes and walking straight past James without a single mention or even word about the previous day's events. I had a feeling we were just going to blank the whole thing out, which suited me just fine. Mainly because he probably didn't know how else to punish me, but also because even he could admit that he'd stepped over the line with his insults.

Five months and counting, huh?

__________________________________________________________

Sup guys

This update was fuelled by The Killers

That is all

:)


	24. 24

A/N if I slip up and spell Brian as 'Brain' please point it out because I keep making that same typo and just ughhh

Chapter Twenty Four

By the time Friday rolled around that week, I had concluded that I hated Brian. I hated the way he treated me like a kid. I hated the way he gave me the most boring jobs you could think of, and most of all I hated the way he was always around. The most action i'd got was the making out me and Gerard would do in his car when he would drop me home.

Even then, Brian had asked why he bothered driving me the short distance.

"It's on my way" Gerard would shrug "besides, James wouldn't want him getting into trouble on his way home, would he?" Brian always agreed with that, obviously not trusting me at all and thinking that I could manage to break the law on the short walk home. Which, grantedly, I could. Several times. But he didn't need to know that. It wasn't like I planned on it anyway.

"You're probably right there, Gerard" he'd nod "I knew you'd be a good influence on him." It was normally when he said things like this that I would have to try my absolute hardest not to give Gerard a suggestive look, as the last time i'd done so he did not look amused.

To say I was pining for our time alone together would be an understatement. The fact that our night away was still a week too far irritated me, and if it wasn't for the promise of the gig the next day I probably would've been about to set the damn church alight just so I wouldn't have to go there every day anymore.

When I arrived at the church, I was expecting the usual torture that had become my hours after college, consisting of sorting through hymn books, polishing organs and other minimal tasks that made me want to catch up on my erratic sleeping schedule (the internet was an all-night service that i tended to take full advantage of.)

That's why my tone of voice was dismal as I announced my arrival in the general direction of the office before unzipping my hoodie and chucking it carelessly over my bag, leaving both items by the door. I then all but dragged myself up the stairs, wondering what boring, mediocre task Brian would find for me to do today, and no doubt watch me complete with a smug smirk that told me he would always be on James's side, always seeing me as a piece of dirt.

"Hey grumpy" Gerard chuckled when I slouched into the room, hands stuffed in my jean pockets. He was leaning against the sofa, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his lips that never normally resided there at church. Normally that expression was saved for when it was just me, him, and a chunk of free time. "Are you lacking caffeine, sleep or food?"

"A cocktail of the three" I sighed, glancing around the room "where's Brian almighty?" Gerard let out his high pitched giggle at that, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Brian almighty?"

"My nicknames are the best, don't mock them!"

"Oh I don't doubt they are, that's why I'm laughing" he leaned forward and grabbed me by the front of the t-shirt, and before I knew what was happening he was pulling hard enough for us both to go toppling back over the sofa. "And in answer to your question" he said as soon as we landed, me now lying on top of him "Brian went out to visit a local hospital, something about charity work and all those usual social events."

"Wait, so we have the place to ourselves?" My eyes widened as I realised exactly what Gerard was hinting at. Of course, they went even wider when his hand slid into my back pocket and squeezed my ass, his smirk just getting wider.

"I get you all to myself" his other hand ran along the waistline of my jeans, fingering the loopholes of my belt "and I would hate to waste the opportunity, wouldn't you?"

I kissed him in response, and it wasn't a gentle one. It was full on, my tongue moving in fast succession against his and he bit at my lip and tugged at my clothes, my legs moving so that I was straddling his waist.

He pulled away for what I originally presumed was a breather, perhaps to say something, but instead when we pulled apart I found myself getting pushed backwards so that I was now the one on my back, and Gerard was leaning down over me.

"What are you doing?" I gasped when he started to work on my belt, his nimble fingers managing to undo the clasp faster than I ever could.

"I'm a bottom Frankie, always have been" he spoke, looking up at me through his eyelashes "but that doesn't mean I always like to be on the receiving end for everything."

"What do you - oh" I moaned when he pulled down both my jeans and boxers without warning, exposing my already half hard self.

"Just shut up and enjoy it" Gerard smirked his famous smirk again, and that's when I knew he was being serious. Of course, he went about it like the tease he was, kissing up my thighs first before licking my cock from base to tip in an agonisingly slow motion, watching me shudder and reach out, grasping at the first thing I found, which ended up being his hair. 

"Fuck I missed this" I groaned, feeling him shift so that his head was directly above my cock. 

"I'll make it worth your wait" He said, or at least I think that's what he said. It was hard to remember clearly as at that moment he placed his lips around me, going down hard and fast without much warning, leaving me to moan and thrust my hips so that I could feel the back of his throat against the tip of my dick. If I hit his gag reflex, he didn't show it. 

"Fuck fuck oh fuck" I gasped when he slowly pulled up, looking up at me through his eyelashes before going down again, his tongue making patterns against my skin "oh shit, do that again, yes, fuck." I was well aware that I was rambling, but the waves of pleasure rolling over me with each suck from Gerard were too much for me to contain.

He started to play with the tip of my dick, purposely drawing it out to wind me up, and god was it working. I could feel the pressure building up inside of me, and it felt like my whole body was throbbing, flushed with blood and out of breath.

He brought his other hand up and started to rub against the inside of my thigh, instantly making that pressure intensify by about a hundred percent. I let out a soundless moan, my mouth just hanging open in sheer ecstasy, encouraging him further. 

"Gerard I swear if you don't stop teasing me I'll-" I was cut off when he went down on me yet again, this time in quick succession, his sucking seeming to become more prominent until I could barely take it anymore, let alone talk. "I'm gunna.." I managed to mumble against the building pressure, until I could no longer take it any more - I came right into his mouth. 

I didn't look to see wether he swallowed or spat, for I was too busy collapsing back onto the sofa, ragged breath and a heaving chest. My eyes were closed, and I heard Gerard mumble something, but it took me a moment to realise he'd been talking to me. 

"Huh?" I asked, opening my eyes to see him sitting up near my feet, looking over at me with a coy smile, his eyes raking up and down my body. 

"I said you look beautiful like that, dipshit" He chuckled, crawling over so just as I sat up myself, ending up with him practically sitting in my lap, his legs hanging off the edge of the sofa, whilst mine were laid out on it, my jeans still around my ankles. "I won't pay you compliments if you're not going to listen." 

"I'm listening" I hurriedly replied "Go ahead." I was trying not to blush at what he'd said, but from the way he leaned forward and kissed me briefly, I was guessing he'd noticed. 

"I'm not repeating it for a third time" He sassed, but when I bit my lip and looked at him he caved "Honestly, you're fucking beautiful okay? Especially like that. All there is to it." 

"You mean that?" 

"Well I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it" he rolled his eyes, but as soon as he'd finished talking he leaned closer and tucked some of my hair behind my ear "I mean, I always think it, but when you come like that for me... it just reminds me how lucky I am I guess." 

"You're going soft on me" I mumbled against his lips, kissing him before he could try and think of some sort of witty response. To be honest, I was done with conversing, I just wanted to kiss the fuck out of him now. He let me eagerly, wrapping his arm around my waist, his other one still in my hair, as I deepened it, loving the feeling of him sitting on my bare legs. 

Of course, this was completely ruined when we heard a voice calling from down the stairs, followed by the sound of the church door shutting. 

"Gerard? Frank? You here?" Brian called out, causing us both to jump apart, Gerard falling off my lap and onto the floor with a thump, his eyes wide in sheer panic. In any other situation, I would've laughed at the way he was sprawled across the floor, resembling a startled rabbit, but I was too busy jumping to my feet and yanking up my jeans. 

"Er, yeah" Gerard called back "Be down in a sec!" 

"It's okay, i'm dying for one of your coffee's anyway!" He yelled back, which was when we heard his footsteps on the bottom stairs. By this point I'd managed to pull all my clothes back on, and we were both frantically smoothing down our hair and re-arranging the pillows on the sofa. By the time he got halfway up the stairs, I'd jumped back down onto the sofa and picked up my phone, whilst Gerard hurried over to his desk, frantically looking for something to occupy him. 

By the time Brian walked into the room, Gerard was sat at his desk and I had opened up twitter. The two of us looked up innocently, both fooling him completely. 

"Hey" Brian gave a brief wave in my direction before turning to Gerard "Did you get those payments sorted?" 

"Yep" Gerard nodded "Hospital okay?" 

"yeah, yeah fine" He nodded distractedly "did you want me to find something for Frank to do, or have you got it sorted?" 

"I think i've got it covered" Gerard avoided eye contact for that one "in fact I was going to drop him home earlier today, seeing as it's Friday and all and he's been working his ass off all week" I had to commend him for his choice of words there, really. 

"Oh right. Well, I guess if you think so" he shrugged, heading over to the coffee machine. He paused near me, staring down at me with narrowed eyes. I saw Gerard gulp from behind me, his eyes frantically scanning me as he tried to figure out why Brian had stopped. 

"What?" I asked in my normal, snappy tone that I tended to use around him. 

"Is that a hickey on your neck?" Brian smirked, looking at the neckline of my t-shirt "It is aswell, it's it?" He laughed, turning to Gerard "have you seen this? Frank's getting more action that the both of us, huh?" 

"I hadn't noticed" Gerard lied so damn convincingly for a man of his profession, I almost envied him. Whenever I lied, despite how well I did so, people tended to doubt me anyway just based on my history and appearance in general. 

"So what? You got a girlfriend?" Brian pressed on, not getting the looks that briefly passed between Gerard and I. 

"Something like that" I muttered, standing up "I'm er, gunna use the loo" I made a lame excuse to get out of there before he asked me any more questions that would cause me to dig an even bigger grave for myself. 

_________________________________________________________________________


	25. 25

Chapter Twenty Five

The first obstacle I faced on Saturday was getting me and Ray out the house without his parents suspecting we were actually going to the same social event. I'd told them briefly that I was going to Kellin's, and headed out. However, I'd had to wait fifteen minutes or so, standing around the corner of the road whilst Ray told them he was going to stay at one of his friends houses that night. He'd felt it was important we left at different times, although personally I'd kind of wanted to rub James's face in the fact that we were going to a gig together, and that despite all his threats and warnings, I was still retaining my friendship with my cousin. 

"So have you heard this guys band before?' Ray asked as we drove over to Kellin's, Green Day playing throughout the car and creating a positive mood within it. 

"Nope" I grinned "But Kellin said they were great, and the club they're playing is suppose to be really great for the alternative scene, so all our sort of people are gunna be there." 

"Our sort of people?" he asked with a laugh "you make it sound like a cult instead of a music taste." 

"Nah, it's far stronger than that" I grinned as we turned onto Kellin's road. Everyone was meeting there originally, and then the two car fulls of teenagers would be heading off for the rarity of a Saturday night actually going out (and when you're at the bottom of the social high-school food chain, it really was something to actually have decent plans.) 

"Are you sure you're friends are okay with me tagging along too?" He asked as he parked his car in Kellin's driveway "I mean, I know you needed the car, but -" 

"Relax dude, we would've invited you along anyway, even if you didn't have a car" I chuckled "You need to stop doubting yourself and realise that just because you've got shitty parents dosen't mean you yourself are shit." 

"You put it all so poetically" He muttered, voice laced with sarcasm. 

"See? How could we ever turn down that sass?" I received a playful smack to the shoulder for that one. "Seriously though, just relax about it all. We're going to have a fucking amazing time tonight, I can already tell." 

"You came dangerously close to the 'be yourself' line then Frank" he raised an eyebrow. 

"If we don't get out of this car and get a move on then I'm going to say it along with a whole speech of cheesy, encouraging sayings" I threatened, and that was all it took for him to get out of his car and all but jog up to the house, leaving me to follow with a giggle. 

***

"You lot all ready then?" Lynz asked from the doorway of Kellin's living room, her car keys in her hand. We'd been at Kellin's for about an hour, just pissing around and listening to Kellin go on and on about just how amazing Vic's band were, and how he couldn't wait for us all to see how talented he was.

"Think so" Chantal grinned, re-touching her eyeliner in a compact mirror as she spoke. The girls had definitely made more of an effort than the guys. Whereas me and the others had just thrown on skinny jeans, band t-shirts and a variou array of leather or denim jackets, Kitty had opted for a heavy chain necklace and a long black t-shirt with her leggings (and spiked boots that added at least another two inches on height.) 

Lynz looked stunning, and if I wasn't as gay as it got, I would have been seriously attracted to her. She had this tartan miniskirt on with a spiked leather jacket and wedge boots, whilst Chantal had this black and white striped dress which Jimmy continued to stare at whenever he thought nobody was watching.

"Let's make a move then" Jimmy stood up and started to tow Chantal towards the door, with Kitty and Steve trailing behind them. I was about to walk towards the front door too, eager to ride shotgun again in Ray's car, when Oli tapped me on the shoulder. 

"You okay?" I turned, asking him with an open smile. Kellin and Ray were busy talking in the hallway whilst the others were already heading down the drive towards Lynz's car, leaving the two of us to talk alone. 

"Is it okay if we pick up one more person on the way?" He asked with a smug smile, his tone instantly telling me that although he was asking casually, this question meant a big deal to him. 

"Sure, who is it?" 

****

Hannah Snowdon answered her door mere seconds after Oli rang the bell, making me wonder if she'd been waiting for him to show up. She really was stunning, dressed in grey jeans and a white crop top with some intricate design on it. She was already eighteen, and so naturally was covered in tattoos, from her hands to her legs and even her ear, she was adorned with so much ink it made me jealous. She wanted to be a tattoo artist, and had already made a few practice jobs on Oli, which had all turned out amazing.

When Oli had told me we were picking her up, I couldn't have been happier for him. She'd agreed to come out on what he qualified as a date, and if that didn't prove that she was looking for something more then I don't know what did. 

"Hey" She smiled shyly as they both climbing into the car, obviously nervous about spending time with us all. 

"This is Kellin, this little shit here if Frank, and this is his cousin Ray" Oli pointed us all out to her "the others are already on their way to the venue." 

"Sweet. Nice to meet you" She smiled at all of us, and just like that Ray drove away with a full car and a more than ecstatic Oli, who every now and then could be spotted sneaking glances at his date in the rearview mirror like he couldn't quite believe she was really there with him. 

***

The XO club was certainly busy, to the extent that it took us a while to find the others. Vic had met us all and let us through the back way, seeing as technically we'd have needed ID to get in otherwise, and we weren't all 18 yet. He seemed to be buzzing with the thought of performing, to the extent that it was almost like he was in his own little world as he led us through the various swarms of people to where the others were all standing. 

"Sorry we're a little late" Kellin grinned "We had to pick up Oli's date" Hannah and Oli both seemed to blush at the same time, their hands held loosely at their sides. 

"It's okay, you've got plenty of time" Vic grinned "I have to go backstage and finish getting ready, but I hope you all enjoy the show" He turned to Kellin, and instead of just settling for a hug, kissed him in what was an almost over-passionate gesture, his hand gripping the front of his t-shirt. Kellin made a surprised noise in the back of his throat before kissing him back with an equal level of enthusiasm. Luckily this was reasonably brief and didn't continue into anything more (although I had a feeling the two were saving that for after the show.) 

"Knock 'em dead" Kellin grinned at him, a little breathless, whilst Vic just jogged off towards the backstage door, leaving Jimmy to let out a low wolf whistle. 

"Damn Quinn, you've got yourself all loved up" He teased, passing Kellin a beer. I decided it would probably be better not to ask quite where the refreshments came from, and just took one without comment.

"You can't talk with the way you and Chanty were making eyes the entire way here" Lynz elbowed him in his skinny ribs. 

"Don't get bitter with me Ballato" Jimmy started, which was around the point that I tipped back my beer and effectively chugged down the contents, only having to wait mere minutes before I felt the heavy weight-like feeling settle over my brain, effectively muffling my surroundings to the point where all I could really concentrate on was the here and now. This feeling, however faint at first, grew stronger with each beer I drank, until I no longer cared about anything except getting near the front for the band. 

***

"This way" Lynz grabbed me by the arm and towed me through the crowd until we reached a spot slightly to the left where we could all see perfectly, and just in time too, because that was when the band started to make their way onto the stage. We'd been milling around, chatting and drinking as a group for about half an hour, and now the band was due to start, and Kellin had been anxious for us all to get as close as we possibly could so we could get the 'proper Pierce The Veil experience.' 

The lights came on, revealing Vic and his bandmates. His younger brother was on drums, one of his friends who I believe was called Tony was on guitar, another guy who'd I briefly spoken to beforehand was on bass whilst Vic himself stood center stage, guitar hanging around his hips and a microphone in front of him. 

"We're Pierce The Veil!" He yelled, earning a few cheers in response "and this song is called Yeah Boy And Doll Face!" 

It didn't matter that i'd never heard the band before. It didn't matter that I couldn't make out all the lyrics. It didn't even matter than I couldn't remember that damn bassists name (it was something unusual, I remember that much. Kellin had mentioned something about how he'd flip a shit if I pronounced it wrong.) All that mattered was that the music was some of the best that i'd ever heard, and as we all jumped and yelled and even moshed a little to it, I could clearly see the others felt the same way. The band had this energy about them, something that told me these guys were destined for great things.

One song lead to another with hardly any interval time for the band themselves - they played their hearts out up there with only the occasional rest for water as Vic spoke to the crowd. He mentioned something soppy before launching into one of their more emotional tracks, which was obviously aimed at Kellin, sending the rest of us into a group of hyenas with out wolf whistles. 

I guess they were probably about three quarters or so of the way through their set when I felt the effect of my beers come back on me in a negative whiplash, making me need to pee. And not in a I-can-hold type of way. 

So after some awkward pushing and squeezing through the crowd, I made it to the toilets. All of which would have been completely uneventful had my eyes not caught his across the room when I returned towards the crowd. 

It didn't matter how many beers I'd had or what song the band was playing, I recognised Ian instantly. I mean, you would too if you knew that a man with muscles like that was after you because you'd seen his little drug drop in action. 

Shit. 

Dewees was right. I couldn't avoid him forever. That much was quickly becoming apparent by the way his eyes widened and he set down his drink, fists hardening at his sides as he sized me up from across the room. 

Double shit. 

My eyes darted over to where my friends were all jumping and dancing like crazy to the music, blissfully unaware of what was going on mere meters away, where Ian was turning to the men with him, and pointing over at me.

My eyes widened considerably when they all stood up from their barstools, obviously about to make their way over to me. I think it was the panic that made me freeze in my place, unable to do anything but watch as they started to push through the crowd. I guess when they got to the edge of the mosh pit and one of them ruthlessly shoved a girl flying to one side that the adrenalin kicked in. 

I did the first thing I could think of: I moved backwards so that my back was against the wall and started to shuffle along it, stopping only when I reached the small red box I was looking for. I guess it was just the general panic of the situation that made me think of it. All I knew was that unless I caused a distraction, there would no way for me to get past them and through the exit. Going back to the toilet would end disastrously, and I couldn't exactly ask anyone for help without having to explain the whole thing. And I certainly didn't have time for explanations.

So that's why I turned, and then, before anyone could stop me, I punched the glass hard enough that it shattered into pieces, setting off the loud drone of the fire alarm. 

The music stopped, replaced with a horrible siren that made people grimace and clutch at their ears, all of who were looking around for a sign of fire or general emergency that would mean they had to bail. Onstage, the band looked to one another in confusion, before someone from side stage motioned for them to leave. They reluctantly started to set down their instruments, looking torn. 

And that was when the sprinklers came on, water spraying out over the entire crowd and causing everyone to squeal, scream and panic as they all tried to rush to the emergency exits as fast as possible, each one scared of the possibility of a real fire breaking out. I guess the water just shocked them all into moving, and general panic set in, just what I wanted.

The emergency doors to my right opened, and with a bloody fist and a determined expression, I ruthlessly barged past everyone in my way, effectively being one of the first out of the exit and into the cold night street, my breath foggy and my mind set on getting as far away from there as possible before Ian realised it was me that had pulled the alarm and came after me with even more vengeance. I knew I couldn't go find the others with him around in case he saw me with them and tried to hurt them too, and there was no way I was putting them in any sort of danger.

So I took off down the street, heading for the only place I could think of.

_____________________________________________________________________


	26. 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Running probably hadn't been the best idea i'd ever had, but it seemed good at the time, and I didn't exactly have long to think over my options when I'd just smashed a fire alarm, ruining what was left of my friend's set, and causing a whole crowd to empty out onto the cold streets. It may have been early May, but it was still pretty chilly after sundown. 

I knew Ian would've continued to look for me, so I ran all the way to the nearest train station, not paying attention to the time or indeed any of my surroundings. All I focused on was getting on the first train that headed back to my town. My breath came out in foggy pants and my chest tightened with the icy air that surrounded me, but that didn't stop me. Running kept me warm enough anyway. 

It was only when I got on the train, hood up and ignoring everyone else around me, which granted wasn't exactly many people (there was only about 3 other people in the train carriage), that I checked my phone. 

As I had expected, there were multiple missed calls and a few texts from the others. I ignored them all, instead just typing a quick message to Ray that would have to do for now. 

"i'm fine. Lost you in the crowd. Bumped into a friend. Crashing at theirs - Frnk x" it was a shitty, unbelievable excuse that I would have to really think out in more detail at some point, but it would do for now, and that was all I was really interested in. I'd just have to hope Ray bought it and stopped worrying. 

With that I shoved my phone back into my pocket and spent the rest of the ten minute journey staring out of the window, despite the fact that I could hardly see anything in the dark. I just sat alone in the corner, knees pulled up to my chest as I tried to calm myself. It didn't help that I was still tipsy, and I could feel my phone going off every now and then in my pocket, yet I ignored it every time. I felt like I needed something, anything to distract me from the fact I was just very nearly... well, I don't know what could've happened, but I was guessing it would've involved pain, and the sheer force of those guys he was with. 

Dewees had been right, I needed to take this more seriously than I was. But at the same time I knew telling people would be disastrous.

Of course, what I really needed came in the form of a priest, who's house it took me another five minutes or so to walk to from the station. It was bitterly cold by that point, and my jacket just wasn't enough to keep out the chills that raced through me. It didn't help that it was dark too, the only light source available emitting from the dim street lights placed every now and then down the street, giving the pavement a dim, orangey glow.

Even as I walked towards Gerard's, which luckily wasn't too far from the station, I was still in two minds as to wether to tell him or not. But then again, if I didn't talk to someone I felt like I would explode. 

I know I was fucking the priest, but I could still talk to him about personal issues. It would just be a more personal conversation that professional. That's if he was even going to be awake enough to answer the door. Otherwise it was going to be a long walk back home, and filled with plenty of questions from Ray that I really didn't want to have to answer just yet. 

Luckily for me Gerard's bedroom light was on. From where I stood it looked more like a bedside lamp than the main bedroom light, suggesting to me that he was probably up late reading or surfing away on his laptop without realising the time. 

I was going to right the doorbell, but then I remembered that Mikey was staying and so was probably asleep, so I went for a knock on the door instead. I had to wait longer than usual, and when Gerard did open the door the safety chain was on, revealing only part of his face. It was then that I remembered that it was gone midnight, and Gerard had probably been unsure as to exactly who would've been calling round at that time of night, hence the guarded expression that immediately dissolved when he was me standing there. 

"Frankie?" he yawned, opening the door wider "What are you doing here? What's happened?" His hair was a mess and his collar was off, his normal attire replaced with black sweatpants and a faded Iron Maiden t-shirt. I don't know why I paid attention to these details, given the situation, but perhaps it was just a coping mechanism. 

"Is this a bad time?" I all I managed to ask. 

"Come in" He opened the door and ushered me into the hallway, where he fully took in my state under the hall light. "Shit, what happened to your hand?" He cried, reaching over and grabbing my wrist, pulling my fist up so it was directly under the light. 

"Smashed a fire alarm" I sighed, looking down at the various cuts that littered the back of my hand, some still bleeding a little. To be honest it was nothing but a dull sting in the back of my mind, and it was only now that I paid attention to it that the pain returned. 

"Come on, I've got a first aid kit in the bathroom" he sighed, pulling me towards the stairs "Mikey's asleep in the spare room but you can go wait for me in mine." 

"m'kay" I mumbled, stumbling a little on the first step. 

"Are you drunk?' He asked when I stumbled again on the second step, before finally finding my balance. 

"A little" I didn't even turn around to answer him; I just kept trudging up the stairs. I heard him sigh and mutter something about getting me a glass of water too before he headed off towards the kitchen. I shuffled as quietly as I could past Mikey's rooms before I reached Gerard's, where I proceeded to slump down on the edge of the bed. 

My eyes wandered over to his desk, where sure enough the lamp was on, showing that he had not been reading like I had originally thought, but drawing. I leaned closer to the desk and saw the various pages of comic book characters and a notebook open, revealing lines of script for each one. Each figure was drawn with a distinct, diverse style that gripped my attention from the moment I spotted it. Various empty cups surrounded his work, and pens littered the desk in a typical Gerard-mess. 

"Here" he entered the room with a first aid kit under his arm and a glass of water in his hand "drink this" he handed me the water as I continued to glance over at his drawings. 

"These are amazing" I dared not touch any of his work, so settled to looking from a safe distance away. 

"Oh, thanks" he said distractedly "Now give me your hand" I begrudgingly did so, wincing the moment the antiseptic wipe touched my skin. "So are you going to tell me what the hell happened to you or are we just going to keep talking about my drawings?" 

"To be honest the drawings sound good about now" I said through gritted teeth as he cleaned the cuts and started to bandage up my hand with more care and precision than I alone would ever have had the patience to do. 

"How about you start with telling me why you smashed a fire alarm?" He raised an eyebrow "You were at a concert, right? What happened? Was there a fire? Because you don't look like it was that simple." 

"No" I rested my head on my knees, my hand still in his lap "It was just a distraction so I could get out of there. I er, saw someone I didn't want to run into and it seemed like a good option at the time." 

"You smashed a fire alarm so you wouldn't have to talk to someone?" He'd finished with my hand by that point, and moved closer to me "Frank? I know it can't be that simple. Who the hell were you trying to avoid so desperately?" 

"Just this thug I know" I paused "Well, sort of know. It's kind of complicated. But he dosen't exactly like me, and it was better for everyone if I just got out of there before he caught up with me or saw me with my friends."

"Or what?" He tugged at my knees so that I turned to fully face him "Frank? What exactly was this guy going to do? Was he going to hurt you?" His eyes were wide as our gazes met, and I felt bad for worrying him like that. Maybe it would've been better if I'd just said nothing.

"I... I don't know..." I mumbled "I mean, possibly. That's why I had to leave. But er, he dosen't know my name or anything so you don't need to worry about it really. I mean, I was bound to bump into him at some point, and now it's over and you can just forget this and we can go back to how we -" He shut me up my placing one hand on the back of my neck and kissing me. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it still made me shut up. 

"Stop rambling and tell me exactly what this guy has got to do with you" He all but ordered "We're together, so your problems and now mine, get it?" 

"Seriously, you have more pressing things to worry about than some guy-" 

"Frank just tell me why he hates you so much" he cut me off, obviously growing impatient. 

"I saw him doing this drug drop with one of my... acquaintances" I struggled for a word to sum up my relationship with Dewees and realised that there probably wasn't a suitable one to summarise a guy I'd let kiss me and was now covering for me around a drug dealer. "And he probably wants to just make sure I'm not going to tell anyone. Which i'm not. Well, I told you, but I can trust you." 

"Fucking hell Frankie" He groaned, running a hand through his hair "can you just not stay out of trouble at all?" 

"Not really, no" I retorted "I mean, you don't exactly help when it comes to being good, do you? I'm pretty sure this is about as much trouble as I could get myself in when it comes to James. In fact, he'd probably take the drug dealer over the gay relationship with a priest." 

"Don't try and turn this into something comical" He rolled his eyes "you can't just go around and expect to avoid this guy forever. What if he catches up with you when someone isn't with you?" I had a feeling that he was referring to himself when he said 'someone.'

"Then i'll deal with it. Besides, once i'm Eighteen I'm not exactly planning on sticking around here." I leaned forward and started to play with his hair "I'm too tired to talk anymore about this. There's nothing we can do anyway." 

"You can't just shrug this off" He frowned "So many things could've gone wrong tonight. Do your friends even know where you are?" 

"They know I'm safe" I mumbled leaning into him slightly. My adrenalin had long since faded and now that I was sobering up all I could think of was sleep "Come on Gee, we can talk more about it in the morning when you show me all your art, okay?" 

"Fine" He grumbled "But only because you're so tired and I don't have the heart to keep you up any longer." 

"Now that's what I like to hear" I let him get up and just collapsed onto the bed with a yawn, kicking off my clothes until I was just in my boxers. I didn't feel in any way self conscious around him anymore, so didn't even bothering opening my eyes as I pulled of my clothes and climbing under the sheets. 

I soon felt the bed dip beside me and an arm scoop around my waist, pulling me to his chest. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and it comforted me more than I ever would have thought possible.

"Night" He sighed "Try and let me get some sleep before you get into your next batch of trouble, okay?" 

"No promises" I chuckled, although by that point I was so tired that it came out as more of a very weak giggle.

He muttered something under his breath then, but I was too past it to comprend what he was saying. The last thing I remembered was his kissing the side of my neck, and then after that I was out like a light, sleeping better than I ever would in my own bed. 

________________________________________________________________________


	27. 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

"Frankie.... Frankie wake up" I was stirred from my dreamless sleep by a light prodding of my shoulder. Small, but persistant. At first I groaned, trying my best to ignore it and just go back to sleep. The bed was just so comfortable, more so than the one at my aunt and uncle's place ever was. Maybe that was just because it was Gerard's, and it had that coffee-infused scent that I found so addictive. Or maybe I just slept well due to the guy next to me. 

"go away" I tried to pull the sheets up further around me, but a hand stopped me, much to my dismay. "I'm trying to sleep here." 

"Frank, we need to get up. It's Sunday" Gerard continued to prod me "come on, I can't be late for church and, knowing your family, neither can you." The thought of my family was enough to make me open my eyes with a glare. 

"I don't care. Just let me sleep a little longer. Please Gee?" I battered my eyelashes in a vain attempt to evoke some sort of pity for me. Of course he just laughed and brushed my mess of hair out of my face. 

"If I have to get up then so do you, come on" He sighed "Mikey dosen't know you're here yet, and i'm worried he'll think i'm talking to myself if we stay in here any longer." 

"What are we going to tell him?" I propped myself up on my elbows and yawned, tiredness ebbing away until I was in a more awake state, sleep now a fond memory.

"How much do you want to tell him?" 

"He can't know" I rushed "Nobody else but you can know about why I came here" He must have seen the panic in my eyes because he reached over and placed his hand on my cheek, kissing me briefly in reassurance. 

"Then he will know nothing. We'll tell him you rowed with your uncle again and came to stay the night. It's certainly believable." He smirked a little at the end of the sentence, probably thinking of how me and James were never not arguing about something. 

"Thank you" I sighed "The less people that know the truth the better." 

"As long as you tell me, I don't care who else gets involved" he shrugged "but never keep something like that from me again, okay? If something happened to you and I didn't know the truth I... well just tell me if anything happens." 

"I will, I promise. I just hate to worry you" as if to prove my point I reached up and ran my finger along the line that appeared in his forehead whenever he frowned "I already cause you enough agro as it is." 

"You know I don't see it that way" He pulled my hand away "besides, we're in a relationship. That means we deal with each other's crap as well as our own." 

"You put it so poetically" i teased, earning a raised eyebrow in response. Before I knew exactly what he was doing, he'd swung his leg over my lap, straggling my waist. As if that wasn't enough to turn me on, he grabbed my hands and held them down beside me.

"You don't think I can be poetic?" He asked, purposely biting his lip. 

"Stop it" I groaned "Or do you want Mikey to think you're masturbating in here?" 

"Oh, i'm sure he's heard worse" He chuckled, starting to kiss up my neck. I squirmed beneath him, unable to move my hands and grab his hips, despite how temptingly they grazed against my thighs.

"Fuck, Gerard" I gulped just as his lips reached mine, and we started to kiss properly, the pace in which his hips knocked against mine increasing every time our kiss deepened. I could feel my boxers getting tight around me, and I was pretty sure he could feel it too. 

"Keep it down" He gigged against my lips. I probably would've been able to comply with his request had he not chosen that moment to grind down on me, making me moan incredibly loud, certainly loud enough for his poor brother to hear. 

"Gerard?" we both heard him yell from what sounded like the stairs "What the hell are you doing up there?" 

"Um, watching porn?" Gerard yelled back, not bothering to climb off me "er yeah, gay porn. Loads of it. Don't come in." 

"Gerard we have church in forty minutes" He yelled back "And since when do you watch porn?" We could both heard his footsteps on the landing now "Are you even alone in there?" 

"Not exactly..." When his footsteps reached the door Gerard finally let go of my hands and climbed off me, falling back into his side of the bed. 

"Oh crap, Frank's in there, isn't he?" His voice was right outside the door now. 

"Hey Mikey" I sighed, realising there was no point in trying to continue what Gerard had tried to start. It would have to wait until later, when we were both properly alone. And knowing our luck, that wouldn't be until the next weekend when he'd promised to take me away. 

Part of me wished i'd just agreed to go that weekend and miss the concert. At least that way I'd never have seen Ian and ruined the whole damn thing by hosing everyone down with sprinklers. 

"Wait, is it safe for me to come in there?" He hesitated, and after the way we were first introduced, I could clearly understand why "because I have to go sit in a church for an hour and listen to you preach Gerard, and if all I can think of is you two -" 

"It's okay! It's fine!" Gee spoke over him "we're decent, come in baby brother." He pulled the sheet over me as he spoke, which was probably a good idea considering the problem I still had going on down below after his teasing. Gerard himself jumped out of the bed and pulled on his jeans, picking up his shirt just as Mikey peered round the doorway, only fully stepping into the room when he was certain we were both somewhat clothed and not fucking.

"Do I even want to know how long you've been here?" he asked me with a sigh "Or shall I just make an educated guess?" 

"Had a row. Came here. What more can I say?" I shrugged, leaning back against the pillows "sorry for distracting your brother. I'd hate to make him late for church" there was a tad of sarcasm when I spoke, watching Gerard put his collar on and having to restrain myself from thinking explicit thoughts about the item of clothing.

"Are you coming with us?" He ignored my comment about 'distracting', probably knowing better than to ask what I meant by it. 

"Yes" said Gerard at the same time I said a profound "no." 

"Frankie if we have to go to church then you're coming with us" Gerard rolled his eyes at me "Besides, don't you think your uncle is going to be even angrier with you if you don't turn up? And your cousin too for that matter." 

"Yeah" I noted his point "But I can't exactly turn up with you, can I? And I'm already in shit as it is, might as well just bury myself a foot deeper, huh?" 

"They weren't over-exaggerating when they mentioned your bad attitude, huh?" Mikey raised his eyebrow from where he stood in the doorway, his expression reminding me a little of his brother. 

"Nope" I rummaged around in my bag, pulling out my phone "Look, you two can go have fun preaching to the masses, and I'll be gone when you get back if you like. Or I can just stay again. I'd offer to cook you lunch, but we all know how badly that would turn out..." 

Gerard ignored this and turned to Mikey. 

"He's coming with us. Give me a minute to drag him down the stairs would you?" Mikey just chuckled and walked out the door. 

"Don't make me go Gee" I whined as I turned my phone on "can't I just stay here for the rest of eternity?" 

"Nope" he'd finished getting dressed by this point and was just watching me as I flicked through all the texts and missed calls I had received. "Now are you going to get up or am I going to have to drag you?" 

"Drag me, baby" I put on a seductive tone that just made him laugh. 

"If you insist." He threw back the covers, which was never pleasant, and grabbed me by the ankles, pulling me down the bed, despite all the squirming I did, and only stopping when we had successfully dragged me over the end and deposited me on the ground with a small thump. "Now get your clothes on, or am I going to have to dress you too?" 

"Well I prefer it when you undress me, but sure, go for it" I winked, loving how easily wound up he was. He then grabbed my t-shirt from the ground and pulled it over my head, leaving me to do the arms whilst he grabbed my jeans.

"This is weird" He hummed "Me putting your clothes on for once." 

"I can't say I like it" I frowned as he tried to thread my foot through the leg of my jeans "You sure you don't wanna skip church for once Father Way? I'm sure even Vicars get sick sometimes..." I bit my lip, watching him try not to look as he pulled my jeans up for me. I was determined to make him dress me completely just to wind him up further. 

"I'm not backing down" He chuckled, throwing my hoodie at me "now get up so we can get coffee before we go." 

"Someone's dominant for once. I thought that was my job?" I remarked slyly as I pulled myself to my feet, causing him to turn around and grab me by the waist. 

"Save it for next weekend, sugar" There was an edge to his voice that told me i'd hit something within him. "Then i'll let you dominate me in every way you want, okay?" 

"Is that a promise?" 

"Of course" He kissed me once before grabbing my hand and towing me out of the door "Now come on, we've gotta get Coffee and then get going or we're going to be late, especially you." 

"What do you mean?" 

"We can't turn up together so i'm going to have to drop you off round the corner or something" He explained as we clambered down the stairs "the last thing I wan't is to explain why you're turning up in my car." 

"Ah man Ray's going to kill me when he sees me" I groaned. Gerard stopped and pulled me in for a hug before we came within Mikey's hearing range. 

"It'll be okay, don't worry about it. Just stick to your story and he'll have to calm down eventually" I clung onto him for what was probably a little longer than necessary, but at that point I no longer cared. Instead I just enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me, and the general comfort and peace that I felt whenever I was in that house with him. 

Once Gerard and Mikey had dropped me off on the corner on the road and i had walked the remaining distance, I was slightly late. Mikey had made us both coffee to go and even shoved a piece of toast into my hand, telling me how i'd probably need my strength, so I slurped away at the remnants of my caffeine-boost as I made my way into the church. 

Everyone was taking their seats, and I instantly spotted my family. By the stony looks on their faces it seemed they weren't expecting me to show up, so it was fun to see the pure shock each of them displayed when I sat down next to them. 

"Frank?" Ray gaped "you showed up?" 

"Yeah" I shrugged "church is mandatory for you guys, remember?" 

"Where did you get to last night?" James asked before Ray could question me further "Ray here told me you were round a friends?" Ray himself just gave me a look that told me the moment the two of us were alone he was going to grill me like hell for information. 

"Yeah I crashed at a friends" I shrugged "nobody you know." 

"It wouldn't hurt to tell us first, you know" Isabel huffed, but I could tell she wasn't too mad. Mainly because I bothered to show up for church, taking her by surprise. I'm sure if i hadn't bothered coming the reaction I had received would've be considerably worse. 

"Sorry. It was a last minute thing." 

"You weren't at your girlfriends were you?" James all but accused me "because we won't stand for you staying round her house Frank. Just because we were happy you'd got a girlfriend dosen't mean we would let something like that slide. Oh no, you-" 

"Dad, it's fine. Lynz was at the get together I was at last night. She wasn't with Frank" Ray butted in, saving my ass from what was turning out to be another lecture. I sent him a thankful look which he ignored, turning back to the front just as the service began. 

Man, that guy was nice even when he was mad at me. I'd have to give him some lessons at some point on taking other people's shit, because if i'd been in his shoes I would've definitely left myself to squirm under my uncle's accusing glare.

I'd be lying if I said that i concentrated on anything else except Gerard's ass for the next hour. But then again, how could I not when he insisted on wearing those tight jeans? Honestly, he was the only one to blame there.

Even with a distraction as attractive as that, I still couldn't stop thinking about Ray, and all my other friends for that matter, and just how I was going to drag myself out of this mess without revealing the truth. 

_____________________________________________________________________________


	28. 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

The moment me and Ray were alone he ambushed me with questions.

Luckily this did not happen until we got back to the house and he followed me into my room, meaning I'd bought myself valuable time to try and think of a valid excuse to explain my actions. Of course, I knew nothing except the truth would truly explain everything that had happened in that short space of time, but that simply wasn't an option for me. 

"So" he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground, standing in the doorway of my room "are you going to explain what the hell happened to you last night?" I'd never actually seen my cousin angry before, so it was a weird adjustment to say the least. He still wasn't in any way threatening or even scary, but I was weary of him all the same. 

"Look Ray i'm really sorry that I left so suddenly-" 

"Cut the crap and tell me what happened Frank" he surprised me by interrupting me mid-sentence, making me go quiet for a moment. 

"I told you. There was all that confusion, and then I bumped into one of my other friends. I really didn't want to have to come back here, so I agreed to go crash at his place" I was panicking as I spoke as it was obvious he didn't believe me. My voice rose in pitch and I started to toy nervously with my sleeves "I shouldn't texted you sooner - phoned you even - I just couldn't find you in the crowd that's all." 

"What friend?" he spat "I was standing with all of your friends. Hell, we were all searching for you for about ten minutes! We even tried to get back into the venue but they wouldn't allow it. Jimmy tried to push past the fucking security because we thought you could be trapped inside a potentially burning building. And where were you? Crashing at an imaginary friends!" He spat almost venomously. 

Guilt flooded through me like a tidal wave. I hadn't thought about how they might have presumed it was a real fire. I just assumed that everyone would just consider it an inconvenience at the most. The thought of them worrying over me when I had in fact been the one to pull the allarm made me squirm internally, wishing there was a way I could tell Ray any aspect of the truth. 

"Oh so now you go quiet" he scoffed "we were all so fucking worried, Frank. And then I get that tiny, two lined text from you acting like everything's absolutely fine. I tried to call you back and yet you couldn't even be bothered to pick up your phone. Honestly, I don't know why I bothered lying for you today." 

"Ray please-" 

"No. Unless you're going to tell me where you really were and exactly why it was so important that you couldn't even manage to turn your phone on, then forget it. I don't want to hear any more lies" he shut me up as i scrambled for some sort of lie that would suffice and make him believe I had a genuine reason. 

I wished I could just tell him the truth, but I think he would have considered that the most elaborate lie of all. What teenager in their right mind would believe that I of all people was fucking a priest? He'd probably believe the drug story over that one. Even though I had no history with drugs of any description except the cigarettes hidden in my bag, that didn't mean people didn't automatically class me under that label. 

Sometimes the moment you do one thing wrong, everyone just assumes you'll have signed yourself up for everything illegal along the way. I'm not saying people were wrong to make these sort of assumptions about me as I would probably do it myself, but sometimes I wished that they wouldn't. 

"I'm sorry" I just sighed in defeat "I promise i'll tell you. I swear. I just... can't right now" I glanced up at him to see he was shaking his head at me, arms crossed over his chest in a defiant stance. 

"I don't know why I bother" He simply stated, going to push past me. 

"Ray please" I tried to grab his arm but he shook off my hand in a jerk-like motion "You just have to trust me for now." 

"When you're ready to tell me this secret or whatever it is that's going on with you, then I'll listen. Then maybe i'll consider trusting you. But until then? Don't bother Frank" He glanced over at his old guitar that was still leaning in the corner of the room, but decided not to say anything, obviously figuring that he couldn't be asked to take it away from me. 

I watched him walk out of my room and storm into his own, powerless to stop him. my secrets were not my own to give away - Gerard's whole career and life as he knew it was at stake if I so much as said a word about the two of us. And the less Ray knew about Ian and the park incident the better. 

So I just collapsed onto the end of my bed, and wondered to myself if I would ever truly be able to tell Ray what had happened. I hoped I would be able to someday, but for now it looked like I was stuck with him being mad at me. 

Great. Now the only thing I liked about that house had also been taken away from me. 

I never normally looked forward to sixth form on a Monday morning, but that day was particularly dread-filled. Mainly because I had no idea what sort of terms I was on with the others after Saturday night. And also due to the fact that after not speaking to me for the rest of Sunday, I then had to get a lift there with Ray. 

Our journey was silent except for the Muse CD that played at a volume loud enough to indicate he didn't want me to talk over it. I tried in between songs to slip apologies in his direction, but he simply turned the music up louder with each word I mumbled. I soon got the message. 

As soon as we arrived on campus he sped off in the opposite direction to me, leaving me alone as I wandered through the corridors, debating wether to try and track down my friends and get the awkwardness over with, or just keep hiding from it. In the end I just shoved one headphone into my left ear and headed to my first class, figuring I might as well get there first.

Luckily none of my immediate friend group were in that particular lesson with me, so I didn't get bombarded with questions immediately. Instead I sat next to this guy called Andy, who seemed nice enough. He had some pretty good band patches on his jacket and he tended to dress with an alternative style, and from what I had gathered when he spoke was a pretty funny guy. I made an effort to converse with him in that lesson, figuring that if all else failed I could do with another decent friend who didn't have a reason to be mad at me.

Of course, soon I found myself walking into the canteen with no more distractions, diversions or room to procrastinate. There, at our usual spot, sat my friends, all of whom were yet to notice me making my way over to them all. Lynz spotted me first, sending me a fleeting smile that gave me a little hope. 

"Hey" it wasn't her usual, carefree greeting, but it was a greeting nonetheless. 

"Hey" I sat down next to her, looking around at everyone as they glanced from one another and then back to me "look, I know what you're all thinking and I understand if you're mad at me after what happened on Saturday night." 

"We're not mad at you, we just don't understand why you ran off so quickly without telling any of us" Oli frowned "we were all looking for you, you know. Jimmy even tried to get back into the venue" Jimmy gave a small nod in agreement. 

"We were worried about you" Kitty sighed "you ran off in the middle of the night and we don't even know where you went." 

"You don't need to worry about me, Kitts" I rushed "I'm not worth the stress, believe me. Besides, i'm usually the one causing the trouble anyway, not being the victim of it."

"we're your friends. It's our job to care, especially when you have a family like yours" Lynz sighed "Look, I don't know where you crashed or why and we don't expect you to tell us everything that goes on in your lives, but a heads up or some form of reassurance that you're alive would be good, that's all." 

"Got ya" I grinned, feeling like a massive weight had been lifted off of my shoulders now that I knew they weren't all about to banish me for my actions "And thank you, I didn't mean to put you guys through that." 

"Forget it" Jimmy waved it away "you couldn't help that the fire alarm got pulled, and who are we to stop you if you got lucky?" Chantal elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Just because he crashed somewhere else dosen't automatically mean he had a one night stand Jimmy!" she rolled her eyes "not everyone thinks along the same lines as you do." 

"I know" He said before turning back to me "but still, it was a one night stand, wasn't it?" Chantal didn't even bother to assault him this time, instead just rolling her eyes. 

"erm-" I wondered what my best option would be to say in response. On one hand I could say no, but then that would arise more questions about exactly who let me stay over, or I could say yes and put it down to a total stranger who's name I was too drunk to remember.

Jimmy and Steve seemed to take my hesitation as a yes, making the decision for me.

"I don't know how you managed to get lucky, man" Steve shook his head at me "you only went to take a piss and you maanged to hook up! Plus with all that shit with some prick smashing that fire alarm!" 

"He's just that good" Oli teased, obviously still in a good mood from his date with Hannah two days previously "what did you do Frank? Chat him up over the urinals? Sneak a peak?" 

"Fuck off" I grumbled, but there was still a smile on my face "Anyway, how did the rest of the evening go with Hannah?" I was eager to divert the subject from me, and eagerly listened as Oli was bombarded with questions from everyone about his love life, which he gave only brief details of. I had a feeling Hannah would probably be the only one to ever see him mushy side.

One thing I didn't notice, however, which I should've perhaps paid more attention to, was just how abnormally quiet Kellin was being throughout the whole thing.

_______________________________________________________________________________


	29. 29

Chapter Twenty Nine

I have to admit, it was only when music came around and me, Oli and Kellin made our way into the practice room that i realised how little me and Kellin had conversed all day. To be fair, I had a lot on my mind, but I still felt bad for not noticing sooner.

He spoke a little to me here and there, but mainly it was me and Oli doing the talking. Luckily I don't think Oli noticed as he was so caught up in the song he was writing, but I certainly did. I didn't want to confront him there and then though, in case Oli got dragged into it, so I went the whole session making small talk and trying to keep the atmosphere carefree.

Kellin spoke to me now and again, but only when he needed me to pass something to him or if I asked him a direct question. By the time the end of class came, I had to practically run after him out of school campus.

"Kellin wait up!" I yelled after him as he all but power walked down the road. He ignored me, and it was only when I caught up to him fully and grabbed ahold of his elbow that he spun round to face me, a glare on his features. It shocked me to see him looking at me that way, and my gut filled with dread as to what he could possibly know.

"What do you want?" He snapped, and it took me a moment to adjust to his tone and figure out some sort of reply.

"What's the matter? I mean, what have I done?" Part of me didn't even want to ask "you haven't spoken to me all day and I don't even know why, you could at least tell me what it is so I can apologise."

"Do you really want to bring it up?' he raised an eyebrow and started to walk again, leaving me to walk beside him at a face pace.

"Well I don't see any other way that we can resolve this" I was suppose to be heading towards the church, but I figured Gerard would know to cover for me. This was the main matter at hand, and I wasn't giving up until I knew exactly how much Kellin had heard or seen to turn him against me.

"Fine, you wanna talk about it? Then let's talk about why you smashed that alarm on Saturday night."

That certainly stunned me into silence. It was all I could do to keep walking. He glared at me from out of the corner of his eyes and huffed to himself "that's what I thought. Nothing to say anymore, huh?"

"Kellin... How did you...?"

"I was looking to see where you'd got to when I spotted you smashing the goddam thing. I nearly told everyone when they were all looking for you. To be honest the only reason I didn't spill was because I thought you deserve a chance to explain yourself. And yet you didn't even contact me once over the rest of the weekend. I still have no idea where you went or why you did it. You blatantly lied to us all today and was the only one who didn't believe your bullshit!" He was yelling by that point, and I guess rightly so.

"Kellin, I know it must have looked awful, but I promise I had my reasons" we weren't too far from his house by that point, and I was worried that my allocated slot of time in between was running out quicker than I could possibly hope to explain my crisis.

"I should hope so, seeing as you completely ruined the whole gig for Vic and the guys" He stared at me expectantly "Well go on then, explain yourself. I'm not waiting around all day" we rounded the corner onto his street, and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I was going to have to come clean to him, I couldn't see any other way out of it.

"Look, i'll tell you everything. I just... it's a long story and I don't really want to do it out here" I glanced over at his house, which was no doubt empty. From what I'd gathered his parents were away most nights on business trips and such, so Kellin tended to have the place to himself. Part of me wondered if he'd ever wanted a sibling, but he always seemed pretty happy there on his own.

"Fine, you can come in on the condition that you tell me exactly what's been going on without any bullshit, okay?" He crossed his arms over his chest and stared me down, but despite his harsh expression I knew I wearing him down, his anger slowly ebbing to a bubbling rather than an explosion.

"Okay" I sighed before following him up the driveway. 

Kellin didn't offer me anything to drink like he normally would. Instead he simply lead me up to his bedroom and made me sit down on his desk chair whilst he perched on the edge of his bed, waiting for me to begin. So I did.

I told him about how Dewees had been at the park, how he was on drugs and how his dealer had seen me holding his drug drop. I told him how Dewees had told me not to tell a soul, especially not my friends, and to stay as far away from Ian as possible. Then I told him how Ian had been there that night, how i'd smashed the alarm in sheer panic and then run as far as I could away from the place before I or even he got hurt. He listened to the whole thing with wide eyes. At first he seemed in disbelief, but by the time I had finished he seemed convinced with my story.

"Fucking hell Frank" He groaned "You really don't have much luck, do you?"

"Nope" I sighed "I didn't want to tell you in case it put you at risk. I certainly never wanted to ruin Pierce The Veil's gig. Vic dosen't know, does he?" Kellin quickly shook his head.

"No. As I said, I didn't want to blab until I'd given you a chance to explain yourself. And you have, for the most part" Although he didn't seem mad anymore, I could tell I wasn't done explaining.

"What else is there?"

"You never told me where you went afterwards. It obviously wasn't a one night stand so don't give me that crap either. Who took you in so late? You've never mentioned anyone else before and they must have been pretty special if you didn't rush home the next day."

"I've been seeing someone" I chose my words carefully "I can't really tell you who just yet, as he's only just coming to terms with being gay and I don't think he'd want anyone else to know just yet, but it's been going on for a while now."

"Seriously?" I nodded.

"I'd appreciate you not saying anything though. I don't want people to bombard me with questions about him just yet" Mainly because I didn't want to give away that I was fucking the local priest. I knew my friends were open-minded, but I felt they would have quite a few questions on the whole subject. Plus I couldn't have it getting back to Ray.

"It's okay, I won't mention it" He nodded "Is it, serious with this guy then?"

"I think so" If he was risking his reputation for me then it had to mean something, right?

"Do you love him?" Was his next question, and it got me thinking for a moment. We'd never exchanged those three words between the two of us, but my feelings for Gerard definitely grew stronger with each day I saw him. It was hard to tell as i'd never been in love before, but something deep down definitely stirred at Kellin's question.

"I... I don't know... maybe?' I stuttered "We haven't talked about it. I think I might."

"It kind of just hit me like a brick wall with Vic" He admitted "I was just staring at him, and I had this moment of like, an out of fucking body experience where I just knew..." He trailed off, deep in though "you'll know what I mean when you realise properly."

"Hopefully" I nodded "So, are we okay now? I really am sorry for ruining Saturday for you guys. I feel awful about it all. And I definitely shouldn't have run to my boyfriend's without calling you all. I was just really shaken up about the whole thing."

"Frank, it's okay" He smiled "I was hoping you'd have some sort of explanation. And I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance before I blanked you out. I should've know there would be more to it than that" He stood up and hugged me "In future don't keep that shit to yourself though."

"I know" I smiled. Now that I had Kellin back on my side it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was a shame I couldn't say the same for Ray, but hopefully i'd be able to talk him around soon enough. 

By the time I got to the church it was almost time for me to go home. It had been a long day and the only reason I had even bothered to come was to see Gerard. I'd stayed at Kellin's for a while, raiding his kitchen and such before realising I should probably at least attempt to swing by.

Gerard was in the office, and luckily for me Brian didn't seem to be around.

"Hey" I grinned as I walked into the office, making Gerard jump a little and set down the book he'd been reading.

"You're late" He raised one eyebrow "you got better things to do or something?"

"I had to tell Kellin the truth about Saturday night, it took a while to cover it all" his eyes grew wide before I quickly added "Don't worry though, he dosen't know who you are. I mean, he knows i'm seeing someone, but he has no idea who."

"Okay" he exhaled "just keep it that way for now though. What made you tell him anyway?"

"He saw me smash the fire alarm so if I hadn't told him the truth I could kiss my friends goodbye" I shrugged it off "but it's okay, I trust him. We don't need to worry about any of that" I moved round to his side of the desk and leaned on the wooden furniture, effectively sitting right in front of him. "Sorry to keep you waiting" my tone got more flirtatious, and he was quick to catch on.

"We can't" he placed a hand on my knee all the same "Brian's out in the church garden helping out the gardener. He could come back at any minute."

"So we'll be careful" I placed my hand over his and squeeze it "come on Gee, it's only Monday. I can't wait all week."

"I don't want a repeat of what happened last time" he warned "we can't let him find out until you've turned eighteen. At least then the chaos will be legal."

"We just won't get naked then" I chuckled, leaning forward "that dosen't mean we still can't have fun."

He kissed me then, moving his hand up my thigh and bringing his other hand up so that he was gripping my hips before pulling me down onto his lap. The kiss seemed to be instantly open-mouthed, his tongue moving against mine in a rhythm we were slowly perfecting. I tugged at his hair, making him moan into my mouth. I could feel my jeans growing tighter, and a desperate urge of my teenage hormones made me grind down into his lap. I could definitely feel him getting hard underneath me now, so I continued to grind and rub myself against him until he started to gasp.

He pulled away from our kiss long enough to mumble a string of curse words before starting it up again, this time with his hand rubbing against my own crotch, palming me through my jeans until my breath became laboured.

"Fuck Gerard, if you don't stop i'm going to come" I moaned, knowing full well that if I came right then I was going to have a wet patch on my jeans, right where I it was most obvious. But part of me didn't want him to stop, not when I was that close.

He ignored my comment, instead slipping his hand into my jeans and grabbing hold of my dick, jacking me off in a fast pace that he knew I wouldn't be able to last under. Sure enough, I tipped my head back and made an inhumane sound as I came into his hand, sweat beads appearing across my forehead as I panted.

"technically, we didn't get naked" He chuckled, watching me fall into his chest, still coming down from my high "although you're going to need to use the hand dryers in the bathroom if you're walking home in those jeans" I looked down, seeing the wet patch my spunk had created. 

"Fuck you, these are my favourite pair" I teased.

"They're my favourite too" he grinned, hand resting on my thigh "your ass looks great in them" I laughed at that, messily kissing him again before I wandered off to the bathroom where I held my jeans and boxers under the hand dryer for a good ten minutes, until all traces of what had just gone down had vanished.

I couldn't help but think about Kellin's question from earlier as I held them, thinking about the man in the room next door, who was now reading his book again as if we were the picture of innocence. Did I love him? Part of me was definitely starting to say yes, whilst the other half of my mind was terrified of what that would mean for us both.

I definitely needed to think it over before I said anything to him, that was for sure. 

____________________________________________________


	30. 30

Chapter Thirty

By the time Thursday rolled around, I was pining for the weekend. Ray still wasn't speaking to me, making my home environment especially toxic, to the point where I looked forward to sixth form simply so I could get out of the house. Gerard had been spending a few days with Mikey before his younger brother went back to Jersey, so I hadn't seen him since Monday. The only thing keeping me sane was the promise of proper time together on the weekend. 

I was walking through the town center with Lynz after college, both of us hauling our bags over our shoulders as we drank our takeaway milkshakes and bitched about her stepmother. The weather was actually pretty decent now that we were approaching summer, so we got away with just wearing our jackets. 

"I mean, i've finished washing the wall and she still bitches about it" Lynz carried on as we walked, letting out her anger "I just don't know what she even wants anymore. Except for me to move out, that is. At least my dad hasn't chucked me yet, even if he is still mad." 

"He''ll come to his senses eventually, he has to" I tried to comfort her, even though we both knew that I was just guessing. I didn't know her dad at all, and I only hoped that he possessed some of the intelligence his daughter had and chuckled Angela before she destroyed his and Lynz's relationship even further. 

"Let's hope so, huh?" She sighed, draining the last of her drink and chucking it onto a nearby bin "hey - you got your spray cans on you?" She had this artistic glint in her eye that i easily recognised, mainly because it was similar to the one I got when I was feeling creative. 

"When do I not?" I chuckled "why? You wanna do some tagging?" Technically I should've been heading for the church, but I wasn't exactly planning on turning up if Gerard wasn't going to be there. I'd much rather face Isabel whining at me than have to spend time with father Schetcher. Besides, he would probably be glad if I didn't turn up anyway. 

"Hell yes" She started to veer off towards the side alleyways that ran like spiderwebs around the main streets of the town center "let's avoid Angela's house this time though, yeah? I don't particularly want to see a police station again any time soon."

"In that case i've got the perfect place to tag" I gestured for her to follow me, the spray cans feeling heavy in my bag the more I thought about using them. 

I stepped back and admired my work with a grin. The two of us were currently tagging a once-bare wall around the back of the local cinema. Whilst Lynz was adding detail to her piece - a scene of a couple embracing, only for the woman to dig her claw-like fingers into hid back, I had already finished. 

My drawing was more simplistic than my normal style, this time entailing a young boy with wide eyes, multiple hands covering his mouth so that he couldn't spill any of the secrets he looked like he so desperately wanted to share. I knew that this boy was a representative of myself, and the way that as much as I wanted to shout from the rooftops about my relationship, I just couldn't tell a soul about it, not even when they cornered me like Ray had. 

"Nice" Lynz remarks with a sideways glance as she finishes up her own piece "I'm going to need to practice more if I wan't to get as fast as you" She handed me the can back, watching me quickly stuff it away into my bag, wiping my hands messily on my jeans. 

"Come on, let's get of here" I grabbed her by the arm and tugged her back towards the alleyway we'd come down. We rushed down the narrow lane, laughing and grinning with the fresh adrenalin that came from tagging walls. We kept hurrying until we were a safe distance away, stopping when we came to a bench placed outside one of the various shops that littered the high street. 

"I can see how easy it must've been for you to become addicted to this" She sighed in content, leaning back into the seat "It's art and adrenalin all in one hit." 

"Just don't get caught and you're all set" I chuckled "otherwise it's art, arenalin and community service." I shuddered at the thought of various litter picking duties that had been forced upon me in the past, back when I was in Jersey. 

"Or a deranged stepmother with even more ammunition to fire at you" She grumbled, and perhaps she would've gone on to bitch about Angela even further had one voice I unfortunately recognised not called over to us. 

"Frank?" Isabel was walking towards us, a few shopping bags draped over her arm a smile on her face that I very rarely saw directed at me "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the church?" It was hard to tell wether she was only giving me a chance to explain because Lynz was present or wether she genuinely valued my excuse, but I took up her offer anyway. 

"Father Way is away today and Father Schetcher's got more important things to do than babysit me so he let me off" I offered, hoping she wouldn't check this over with Brian afterwards. Luckily she seemed too distracted with glancing between me and Lynz. 

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" She asked, still under the illusion that I had a girlfriend no doubt. With a small grimace I realised I had never actually told Lynz about the lie I had spun to cover my ass, and prayed that she would go along with it, for my sake. 

"Oh erm, Lynz, this is my aunt. Isabel, this is Lynz.... she's er... well" Lynz seemed a little confused at my stuttering, as I wondered how I could put it best. 

"It's lovely to finally meet you" Isabel jumped in, leaving me to trail off into silence, fearing the car crash that could well be about to happen "I have to say when Frank told us he had a girlfriend we were a little surprised, but happy nonetheless." 

"Huh?" Lynz just blinked, looking from her to me. I gave her a pleading look, which she seemed to take in because that was when she gave a small smile "Sorry, I mean... I just didn't realise he'd told you yet?" It came out as more of a question, but I appreciated her going along with it so didn't focus on her acting skills. 

"Oh don't be shy!" Isabel chuckled, misreading her hesitance "Tell you what, why don't you come for dinner tonight? I've got enough for one more and I know Frank's uncle would love to meet you" my aunt was going into hostess mode, and from the various visits I had at their house as a child, I knew that this meant she would go all out to ensure Lynz could come for dinner and feel welcomed. 

"I wouldn't want to intrude-"

"Oh you won't be! Both of you can come now - I was heading back towards my car anyway, it'll save you the walk if I give you both a lift. Have you got any allergies Lynz?" She rushed, giving us no time to think of an excuse.

"Um, no. No allergies" she answered, pretty much sealing her fate. 

"Great! Come on then you two" She started off in the direction of the car park. Every time me and Lynz tried to hang back to talk, she would just wait for us, not getting the message. All I could do was keep shooting her apologetic glances and answer for her throughout the whole car journey home, which luckily only took five minutes or so. 

It was when we got back to the house and I led Lynz up to my room, past a shocked looking Ray who didn't say a word, that we could properly talk. 

"You told them I was your girlfriend?" She cried the minute I shut the door "Frank what the hell were you thinking? Don't they know you're gay? Why the hell haven't you told them?" 

"Keep your voice down!" I tried my best not to hiss when I replied "look, it's all a big mess. I didn't think they'd even get to meet you, and even then I thought I would've sorted this by now but I just got so preoccupied I forgot about the lie and..." I collapsed onto the end of my bed. 

"You just forgot that they thought their gay nephew had a girlfriend?" She raised an eyebrow. 

"Look, they flipped when I told them I was gay, and then when we got caught tagging Angela's house on top of that, I panicked. I looked for a way to make them calm down before they punished me... and, well, telling them we were dating did just that." 

"Well it was certainly more creative than playing the blame game, i'll give you that" she sighed "but now what, Frank? How long do you want to pretend we're dating around them? What happens when you get a boyfriend and you have to backtrack and tell them the truth? How will that help anything?" 

"I really don't know" I groaned "shit, Lynz, what should I do? Just tell them?" 

"Yes!" She exclaimed "come on, we'll go down there together and explain that you were confused about your sexuality and for a moment you backtracked with me, but you're gay, and you know that now. I'll even help you tell them if you like. Just get it over with" she held out her hand "come on Frank, you can't hide away from who you are."

"I don't know how they'll react..." 

"It can't be worse than the first time, right?" She smiled warmly at me "and if all goes to shit you can go crash at Kellin's, or even come and stay at mine if you like. He'd probably appreciate the company more though." 

"Come on then" I sighed, getting to my feet and taking her hand, glad of the comfort "let's get this over with."

I gave Isabel and James little chance to even speak to Lynz before I just came out with it. 

"There's something you need to know" I told them both the moment we sat down at the table. Ray glanced up momentarily before returning to his food, already knowing what I was about to say. "Lynz isn't my girlfriend." 

"What?" James looked shocked to say the least "but you told us-" 

"When I told you we were dating it was because I was confused about my sexuality. I didn't want people to think I was gay unless I knew it was one hundred percent true." 

"Me and Frank thought it would be better to date, just for a short period of time, to see if he felt anything towards me" Lynz added, surprising even Ray by speaking up "we figured it would be an experiment, almost." 

"And?" Isabel asked me.

"And we came to the conclusion that I was right in my original instincts - i'm gay. I expect you to accept that." I kept my voice firm and void of any anger, hoping they would act the same. Both looked disappointed, but were aware that Lynz was still present, and even though she wasn't my girlfriend, that didn't mean they wanted her to get a bad (or accurate) impression of them both. 

"Oh" Isabel muttered "well, that's... I guess it was all a bit too good to be true" Ray just kept eating, not bothered about the whole situation. He'd heard both sides of the story a million times over and was already accustomed to my sexuality, so none of this was new to him. 

If he hadn't been mad at me, he might have said something by now. 

"There's no need to be homophobic about it" Lynz butted in, completely fearless "Frank is still the same person, gay or straight. If you're decent people then you should know that." 

"With all due respect Lynz, this is a family matter" James said with a bitter tone. She ignored this comment and carried on.

"I don't even see why there should be any more to discuss. He's told you he's gay, and that's the end of it. Deal with it and move on." Lynz crossed her arms over her chest in defiance, her food barley touched in front of her. 

"Why don't we just talk about something else?" Isabel rushed before James could yell at the guest and effectively give her something to bitch about to other people. Isabel cared way too much for their 'idyllic family' reputation to let that happen. 

James shut up after that, leaving Isabel to make forced conversation with me and Lynz, and even more awkward conversation with Ray, who's answers were never more than a few words. It was definitely one of the more awkward meals i'd ever experienced, so I can only imagine how happy Lynz was to leave. 

"I really am sorry about all of that" I sighed as I walked her to the end of the driveway, where her mum's car was parked, waiting for her. Her mum gave me a smile from behind the wheel as she waited for Lynz to say her goodbyes. 

"It's okay. I'm your friend, I was going to have to put up with that lot at some point" She shrugged "if they give you any grief over all of this then just text me, okay? I won't let them give you shit for it." 

"Thanks" I pulled her in for a hug "for everything." 

________________________________________________________________________


	31. 31

Chapter Thirty One

It was finally Saturday, and I was unashamed to admit that i'd had my bag packed since Thursday evening. I just really needed the break away with Gerard so I could just forget about everyone else. So that it could just be me and him for once, no interruptions. 

I'd told my aunt and uncle that I was going to Kellin's for the night, and they hadn't even blinked twice at my lie. I would've told Ray if I thought he'd be interested, but he was still holding his six-day long grudge against me. I'd hoped he'd have mellowed by that point, but he was still angry. I'd be able to tell him the full truth come October, but with it only being late May I knew that I had two options - lie more or let him calm down. So far I was going with option number two. 

So I made my way out of the house without any interruptions, my overnight bag slung over my shoulder and my jacket pulled on loosely. I walked to Gerard's, as we'd figured it wasn't worth the risk of him picking me up in case anyone saw. I didn't mind anyway - I liked the walk when the weather was nice and I could just stick my headphones in at what was probably a damaging volume. 

Mikey had gone back to New Jersey the previous day, full of promises to come visit again soon, so it was just Gerard home when I got there. He answered the door out of his uniform - dressed in his usual black jeans, but paired with a t-shirt and his leather jacket that i'd seen him wear on a few occasions. 

"Hey" He pulled me inside, waiting until the door was shut before he kissed me briefly and took my bag, setting it down next to his one "you get away okay?" 

"Yeah, they didn't really ask much about it really" I grinned, following him into the kitchen "I'm a pretty good liar when I want to be." 

"You kind of need to be" He chuckled, glancing between us "As much as I hate to say it, our whole relationship kind of relies on it at the moment." 

"Well that's why we're going away tonight" I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him "for the next 24 hours we don't have to lie about our feelings or hide them away anymore. I get to show everyone you're mine without worrying about the repercussions." 

"I just feel sorry for whoever gets stuck near us when we get mushy" Gerard leaned back into my hug, placing his hands over the ones wrapped around his waist. I moved my head so it was resting on his shoulder, feeling the leather pressing against my cheek. 

"I hope you've packed your collar...." I whispered, making him stiffen in my arms. 

"Fuck Frankie, you're going to make me get a boner before we've even got there" although I couldn't see it, I would've betted that he rolled his eyes at that point. I could feel him smiling though, and that just made me giggle. 

"You didn't answer my question...." 

"Yes, I have" He sighed "only because I know what a fetish you seem to have for it. Fucking weirdo" he teased "come on, let's get going and then when we get there we can talk about this kink you've developed in more detail." 

"I'd prefer a demonstration, but sure" he slid out of my grip but kept hold of my hand, pulling me towards the door with a loose grip as he tried and failed not to blush at my comment. "You should also know that when you blush like that it fucking turns me on, okay?" 

"Shut up, i'm not blushing" He blatantly lied.

"Whatever you say" I just chuckled, picking up my bag again. 

The drive took about two hours. We'd wanted to be sure that we could go far enough away that the risks of anyone recognising us were reduced to minimal statistics. We only stopped briefly at a service station to pick up coffee and doughnuts, both of us eager to reach our destination in plenty of time. Seeing as we only had the one night away, we both wanted to take advantage of all the time available to us both. 

I wasn't disappointed when we arrived. Gerard had booked us into a small hotel located on the outskirts of a town, meaning that the countryside was nearby and yet we still had the option to go into the town center if we wanted to. 

"I've made dinner reservations" He grinned after we'd parked the car, the two of us were walking up to the hotel front door, our bags over our shoulders and our hands entwined at our sides "it's about time I actually took you out somewhere like a regular couple." 

"It feels weird to be holding your hand like this in public, it's going to even weirder when I can actually go into a restaurant with you" I bit my lip, finding it hard to even imagine people not even doing a double take when they saw the two of us together. 

"That's why we're here, so we can be open about this for once" he squeezed my hand tighter as we walked into the reception. The woman behind the counter didn't even blink twice at us, just handing over our key and wishing us a pleasant evening. I almost wanted to just push my luck and start making out in front of her just to see her reaction, but before I knew it Gerard was pulling me into the elevator, moving so his other arm was now wrapped around my waist. 

"It's really starting to frustrate me that I have to wait until after dinner to fuck you" He rubbed up against me on purpose, making me groan and grip onto his shoulders. I had to focus all of my energy on not getting a boner right there in public, no mater how amusing it would've been for Gerard, I didn't want to give anyone abnormal to stare at. We'd get enough of that when we got home.

"How long till our reservation?" I gulped "if we're quick, i'm sure we could-"

"No" He placed a finger on my lips, shutting me up "I don't want to rush it. I've been looking forward to it for days now. Besides, if we're having the full date experience then sex tends to come after dinner." The door opened at that point, and I was eternally grateful that nobody was waiting for the elevator, as they would've been met with the sight of Gerard pressing against me, his arms wrapped around me as I clung onto his shoulders, both of us giving each other dark and no doubt lustful looks. 

"Come on then" I pulled him out of the elevator "or i'll take all the complimentary coffee." 

"Don't you dare!" He yelled after me as I hurried down the corridor, locating our room and quickly barreling into it as he caught up. It took no time for the door to close behind him, and even less before he was chucking his bag to one side and using his other hand to grab the front of my t-shirt. 

I let him pull me without any hesitation, more than willing for whatever time we had before dinner to be spent making out. To be honest, if it were up to me we'd miss dinner entirely and never even leave the goddam hotel room, but I knew Gerard was excited to take me out properly, so I didn't suggest this plan to him. 

He kissed me quickly, not giving me long to sink into it before he was pulling away again, a teasing smirk on his lips. 

"I'd go on, but i'm afraid we'll get carried away and miss our date" He explained, keeping a hand on my chest so I couldn't re-connect the kiss and pick up where we'd left off. 

"This date better we worth the wait" I grumbled as we just laughed, letting go of me and wandering around, inspecting our room. To be honest, the only thing I was particularly interested in was the double bed, although the en suite looked pretty good too. 

Today was just one of those days where my teenage hormones were in no rush to calm down whatsoever. The promise of sex later on had me riled up, especially when gerard fell back onto the bed and spread his arms out, letting out a content sigh. 

"If you're going to tease me this much then i'm going to need a smoke" I rolled my eyes, purposely diverting my vision away from the bed and instead focusing on grabbing my pack and a lighter from my bag, heading over to the small balcony. It was more like a ledge, really, but it was enough for me to lean out over as I lit my cigarette without having to worry about setting off any fire alarms in the process. 

"Don't ruin your lungs!" Gerard yelled after me, still not moving from the bed "you'll need them later!" 

"This is weird" I noted, glancing around the restaurant. 

"Good weird or bad weird?" He asked between mouthfuls of food. My own dinner was so good it was practically gone, my stomach feeling bloated but content. 

"Good, I think" I took in the sweet little Italian, with it's regular customers and a few guests like ourselves. They weren't hard to distinguish, as all the locals knew the waiters and were happily chatting to the them. "I guess it's just me trying to get over nobody looking twice at us. Nobody cares, we're just a normal couple to them all." 

"Well get use to it" He grinned "because as soon as we figure out this mess we're in, you and me can be a proper couple." 

"How long's that going to take?" I scoffed, trying not to let my mind wander to the details of all the piling shit we were in back home. I wanted to enjoy this without having any of that in my mind. 

"I don't know" He admitted "but one day this will be our reality, not just a weekend. I promise" His eyes were wide and serious, and despite all the odds stacked up against us, I found myself believing him. Maybe I was being a foolish, lovestruck teenager, but part of me really did hope that we would make it through everything we were facing. 

"I hope you're right. I don't think i'd cope with all this bullshit if you weren't around" I never normally admitted stuff like that, but I felt comfortable enough doing so. 

"Neither would I" he chuckled. 

"What do you mean? Things were fine for you before I came along" It wasn't like he had many problems that hadn't been caused by me. His career was hanging on the line with every moment he spent with me, surely he would've been better off without those risks appearing in his life? 

"Just because I wasn't breaking the law, lashing out, kicking up a fuss and all the other things that people deem to mean trouble dosen't mean I was content, let alone happy before I met you" he tried to leave it there, but I stared at him, waiting for him to go on. After a moment of deliberation, he did. "I mean, I'd never had a relationship like this. I pushed my sexuality to the back of my mind and refused to deal with it. You gave me that push that made me come to terms with who I really am." 

"There's more to it than that" I noted "tell me." 

"I... I have a lot of doubts I guess" He shrugged "I mean, I was new to the area, homesick for New Jersey... and then you come into my life, a kid from my home state, someone who also feels like a fish out of water living over here. I'm still new to this priesthood, and some days I don't even know if it's what I want anymore. I felt trapped, like I was stuck in a life I may not have originally wanted, and the more i'm with you the more I feel like I had choices again. I feel in control." 

"So in control that you're going to throw it all away from a fuck-up seventeen year old" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Maybe, but it will be my decision to do so. I'll make that choice, i'll deal with the consequences. At least i'll be choosing what's right for me and what I actually want for once, as opposed to what other's think is best for me" He grabbed my hand over the table, and I noticed how alive his eyes seemed as he talked. I think the things we don't talk about tend to be our biggest passions and dreams sometimes, and when we finally let them out it's always explosive. 

"You really want to be with me that bad, huh?" I asked almost nervously. 

"Of course" He squeezed my hand tighter "and don't call yourself a fuck up again, lying is a sin you know" he winked at the end, and I felt something stir within me. 

"Are you suggesting we skip desert?" I rubbed my thumb along the edge of his hand "because the ice cream really does look great here...." I bit my lip on purpose, causing the desired effect to show on Gerard's features. 

"I'll make up for the lack of ice-cream, I promise." 

This time when we reached our room, we both only had one thing on our minds. It was probably evident to everyone from how fast we had walked through the foyer, and just how close together we stood in the elevator, our hands gripping each other's in promise. Refreshing, nobody cared, just glancing at us before going on with their own business. 

I kicked the door shut with my foot, my hands pre-occupied with grabbing Gerard by the shoulders, attempting to push his jacket off his shoulders. It caught on his elbows, and he had to finish the job, chucking it to the floor as he kicked off his shoes. 

I went to grab at his belt, but his hands covered mine, stopping them in their tracks. I gave him a look of confusion, but he just smirked before pushing me further into the room, and to my dismay away from him. 

"We're trying something else tonight" He said in the form of little explanation. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, but we ignored me, moving over to his bag and rummaging around in it for a moment before pulling out his priest collar. 

"Are you going to put this on me or am I going to do it myself?" he asked teasingly, letting it dangle off his pinky finger. I picked it up and turned it over in my hands a couple of times before pulling it around his neck, struggling slightly with the clasp. Eventually, I fixed it on him. The moment I pulled my hands away he was turning around, a hand gripping my waist as he pushed me up against the wall, kissing me properly this time. 

It was hard to know what to focus on - his tongue against mine or the way his hands were now pulling my t-shirt up. Eventually we had to break the kiss so he could pull my shirt over my head, and as soon as he had done so he threw his own one off too. Then I grabbed him and started the kiss all over again, in fact I was so busy kissing him that I hardly noticed him undoing my jeans until they were pooling at my ankles. Even then, I just distractedly kicked them off. 

My brain seemed to have gone to fuzz; all I could concentrate on was undoing his belt buckle with one hand, the other one busy being entangled in his hair. The moment we finished getting his jeans off we broke apart, but kept our faces close enough together that we could feel each other's breath.

He stared at me for a moment, pupils huge, before pushing me onto the bed with a thump. I let him climb over me, straddling my waist in a way I was sure he knew made me instantly hard. It didn't help that he grinded down on me, making me bite back a moan. 

"This is bay back for the other day, isn't it?" I groaned when he grinded against me again, no doubt thinking back to how I'd tormented him in his office. I was starting to regret getting him quite so wound up, because if he didn't stop soon I wouldn't be able to hold out. 

"Just a bit" he grinned, looking down at me. I used this moment of temporary distraction to lean up and kiss him, but wrapping both arms around his shoulders as I did so. This made it easier for me to push against him, trying to get him to roll over and let us swap postions. He was adamant though, and pushed back, making me fall back down onto my back. 

"Stop teasing me" I complained, just wanting to get on with it by that point. 

"I'm not" He laughed "I want to try mixing things up this time, that's all" his eyes travelled down my bare chest, resting on my boxers, where I soon felt his hands reach out and tug at them. "If that's okay with you." 

"You mean you wanna..." 

"I want to be the one fucking you this time, yes" He leaned down into my neck and started to kiss over my jaw, and then back down over my adams apple, causing any thoughts to disappear from my head except one, and that was just how turned on I was by his proposition. "What do you say?"

"Fuck yes" I groaned, moving my feverish hands to pull off his boxers. Him wanting to fuck me was kind of the last straw for me, and now it was almost hurting me to hold off jacking off at the thought of him inside of me. "Just get on with it and fuck me." 

He looked down at me, only wearing his collar now, and a dark look crossed his eyes, telling me he still wanted to have fun first. 

"Want to make it even more interesting?" His hand trailed up my thigh, resting just to the side of my dick and making my whole body shiver underneath his weight. All I could do was nod in response, causing him to lean down and whisper into my ear "call me Father Way when you come." 

I was practically twitching by this point, so all I could do was let out a frustrated groan, which was cut short with a yelp when he lifted up both my legs, moving so that they were spread out either side of him, and his fingers were pressed against me. 

I'd been so busy trying to keep a hold of myself that I hadn't even seen him get the lube out, but as soon as he pushed inside of me with one finger, it was apparent that they were coated in it. I just gaped and tried not to trash too much as he finger-fucked me. It didn't take long before he was pulling away though, if only temporarily, and I felt my whole body quiver, especially when I heard the condom wrapper being torn open, knowing exactly what was coming next. Except I only knew what i felt like to be the one fucking, and this time I was the one being fucked. 

I was kind of nervous, but aroused to the point that it didn't bother me as much as it normally would've done. 

"You still want to do this?" He asked as he lifted up my knees, moving us both around until he found a decent angle. 

"Y-yes." 

"Yes what?" That smirk was on his face again. 

"Y-yes Father Way" I stuttered, making him groan. Although I couldn't really hear exactly what sort of noises he was making over my own, as that was the moment that he pushed inside of me, immediately making me cry out in a mixture of pleasure and slight pain, lessened by the sheer amount of lube he'd applied. 

It felt strange, but I loved it too. Gerard stayed still for a moment, letting me squirm and grind, getting use to the feeling of him inside of me. After a moment or so he drew back, and after a nod from me pushed back in, watching as I panted and gasped. 

"You okay?" He asked, going at an agonisingly slow pace no doubt just to wind me up. 

"I'd be better if you picked up the pace a bit" I managed to retort before letting out another moan. 

"Say it properly" He just grinned, resting his free hand on my thigh and rubbing against it. 

"Fuck me harder, father Way" I groaned "oh fuck go faster Father" He complied, slamming into me so fast I barely had time to comprehend it before he was doing it again. It was like a mounting wall of pressure and pleasure, and my own dick now ached from how hard it was. 

I gripped it with my sweaty hand, starting to feverishly jack myself off as he continued at his feverish pace, not showing any signs of slowly down any time soon. In fact, as he reached closer and closer he just seemed to speed up.

"Fuck Frankie" He just gasped "You look so good like that." 

It was the moment when he hit my prostate that I came hard and fast into my hand, unable to help myself. 

"Father i'm going to c-" I didn't even finish the sentence. Luckily Gerard must have been pretty close to, as it was mere moments later that he came inside of me, his yells and moans some of the most beautiful sounds i'd ever heard. 

When he pulled out I felt kind of empty, especially when he pulled himself off me in order to clean up. I just lay there, spread out over the sheets, no doubt looking a sweaty mess but not caring. He soon collapsed down next to me on the sheets, this stupid, adorable grin on his face as he looked over at me. 

"You're so fucking beautiful" He sighed, wrapping, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I l-" He stopped abruptly, shutting himself up. 

"You what?" my eyes widened considerably as I stared back over at him. "Gerard?" 

"I love you" He sighed "Have done for a while." I was stunned into silence for a good few moments, just staring at him. "Sorry, I didn't want to scare you or anything." 

"No, you didn't" I shook my head, snapping out of my trance "It's just strange to hear you say it, that's all. And.. and I think I love you too. I've never felt like this before about anyone... and i'm pretty sure that's what it is." 

"You don't need to say it back if you're not sure" He chuckled "I just want you to know." 

"I know I don't need to, but I want to" I sighed, moving closer to him, not caring that we were both kind of sweaty. "I love you." 

And I meant it. 

__________________________________________________________________________


	32. 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Gerard had told the church he was visiting a relative for the weekend, so we didn't have to rush back to church on Sunday. Ever since the incident when I punched James, he had backed off a bit, so I knew he probably wouldn't say anything if i didn't turn up to church for just one time. Even if he did ask i'd just tell him I overslept. He wouldn't be particularly happy, but he'd have to accept it. 

So me and Gerard had a pretty relaxed start. We slept in, and then once we had raided the room off all available free pens and mini soaps, we packed up our stuff. Of course, neither of us wanted to leave, and we both made this pretty clear with how slowly we packed up, but we both knew that people would only get suspicious if we stayed more than one night. 

"One day, huh?" he sighed when he saw the look on my face, slipping his arm around my waist.

"Yeah" I smiled up at him "I know." For once I didn't doubt that we could actually have a shot of being together in the long run. Now that we'd exchanged the three confirming words, I felt like our relationship was woven into something far stronger than the messy affair it had been when we first turned up at that hotel. 

"And in the meantime we'll just be careful, wait it out until our time eventually comes" He let go of me to pick up his bag, but not before kissing me briefly "it'll all work out eventually, you'll see." Of course, he didn't mention all the trials and troubles we'd have to face in the process before we could finally reach our happy place, but I think we were both more than aware that they were on the horizon, and approaching fast. 

I got a surprise when I got home. And for once, it wasn't a bad one.

I was unpacking my bag in my room, feeling kind of down because Gerard was gone and once again I was alone in the hellhole that was my aunt and uncle's house, the hotel now nothing but a memory to me. I was so busy throwing my clothes back into their drawers that I didn't notice Ray at the door at first. 

"Oh" I stopped abruptly, a sock in my hand "hey." 

"Hey" he sighed "Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that." 

"Oh it's fine, you didn't, and even if you did, I wouldn't mind you know" I started to ramble, desperate for any chance to make Ray feel somewhat forgiving towards me. I'd missed our friendship, especially as he was the only family member I had who I actually liked. And even then it was sometimes questionable as to wether he could stand me. 

"Look, Frank" he leant in the doorway "I'm not staying I forgive you, or that I still don't want an explanation, because trust me the only way you're fully getting back into my good books is if you tell me exactly what your deal is recently..." 

"But?" I prompted, eyes going wide in hope. 

"But I hate not speaking to you. The silent treatment just makes me feel like we're bickering eleven year olds, and as much as my dad would hate to hear me say it, I care about you. I don't want to push you away like everyone else seems to be doing." 

"Really? So we're speaking again?" I dropped the sock on the ground, not caring about it anymore. 

"Yeah" He chuckled at my wide-eyed expression "I know whatever's going on must be kind of complex if you haven't told me by now, so i'll trust that you just need more time before you can come clean to me." 

"It really is just a matter of time and then I promise i'll tell you everything" I found myself admitting "seriously Ray." 

"It's ok, I believe you" I pulled him in for a hug then, over the moon at the chance of having him back as a friend. The last week had been utter crap without him speaking to me, and it felt like one hurdle down to have sorted out the issues between us. 

"Thank you" I sighed, pulling away from him. 

"No problem, want to bring your guitar into my room and plug it in?" He moved on like there had never been a single bad word spoken between us. 

"Sure, just let me finish unpacking this" I gestured to my bag. 

"Okay" he watched as I pulled the remaining items out of my bag "hey, what's this?" he picked up one of the hotel soaps that I had chucked into my bag "why do you have hotel soap in your overnight bag?" he laughed, whilst I resisted the urge to tense up and panic. 

"Oh, that was from ages ago..." I trailed off with a wave of my hand, not looking round at him as I spoke. 

"It says here that it's an English hotel... not too far from here actually. When did you stay there?" he didn't drop it as i'd hoped. 

"Oh I can't remember" I tried not to snap, but I think it still came off a little agressive because he dropped the soap back into the back quite suddenly. "Anyway, let's stop discussing soap and start discussing power chords, yeah?" 

"Yeah, right" He seemed to forget about it quickly enough at the mention of guitars, and I just reminded myself that taking souvenirs was not the best idea when you're trying to cover your tracks. At least any guess Ray could make would never quite be the truth. He'd never believe that one even if I told him myself.

***

"Okay now turn your feet in as you do it!" Lynz ordered me around from where she was sitting on a low brick wall, boot-clad legs crossed over her lap as she watched me "and make sure your shins are as low as you can get them without falling." 

"I think i'll just concentrate on the not falling!" I yelled back from where I was currently bending over backwards in a supermarket car park, attempting to do this move Lynz had invented whilst playing her bass. She called it a backbend, and when she'd demonstrated for me, going so low her hair brushed the ground, i'd made the mistake of asking her how she did it. 

Fast forward ten minutes and there I was, trying not to fall too hard on the tarmac with every failure. She just laughed and moved over to me, pulling me to my feet. "Like this, you idiot" she rolled her eyes before launching herself into a perfect backbend, all of it seeming effortless to her. 

"I'm just not as flexible as you!" I sighed in agitation when she even pulled herself back up without so much as a stumble. 

"You can still do better than that" She just laughed at me before placing both her hands on my back "go on, try again. Don't be afraid to fall, i'll catch you if you do." 

"Are you strong enough?" 

"And you doubting my strength Iero?" she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow "because trust me, I could lift more than you and Jimmy could put together."

"Sorry" I started to lean back again when we were both interrupted. 

"Lynz!" We turned to see a car pulling up in front of us, a woman wearing a scowl like an ugly fashion accessory leaning out of the window. 

"What are you doing here?" Lynz instantly let go of me in surprise, and I let out a yelp as I fell down on my ass "oh shit, sorry Frank." 

"Frank?" The woman's eyes widened as she looked down at me "the Frank who vandalised my house?" 

So this was Angela then. 

"What the hell are you doing here? I asked Dad to pick me up" Lynz ignored the question. 

"He was busy" She just snapped before turning back to me "Neither of us realised you were still hanging around with him" she all but spat at me "what the hell did you think you were doing, wrecking my house like that? Do you have no respect whatsoever? I mean really I know your parents gave you up but that's no excuse-" 

"Fuck off Angela" Lynz butted in for me "his parents didn't abandon him, he's just over here with his family." She really was protective of me, almost in an older sister style, and god I wished she could be my real sister, because i'm sure if i'd had her to turn to growing up I wouldn't be half as messed up as I was. 

"Then he dosen't even have the start of an excuse" She exclaimed "Now get in the car Lynz. As much as I think you two are perfect for each other, I don't think your dad will agree, do you?" I could practically feel the bitterness in her tone as she adressed her supposed stepdaughter. 

"I don't think her dad would agree with you talking to her like that either" I spoke up, getting up off the ground and trying to stick up for my best friend "I bet you don't talk down to her when he's around, do you?" 

"Shut up before I phone the police and actually press charges on you" She snapped at me before turning back to Lynz "now get in the bloody car." Lynz just gave me a sad smile and hugged me briefly, both of us knowing that she meant it when she said she wouldn't care about pressing charges. In fact she'd probably enjoy it. 

"Give me strength" She muttered so only I could hear.

"See you tomorrow" I simply sighed as she picked up her bag and got into the back seat of the car, purposely avoiding the empty front one. I wished I could have been or more help, but I couldn't really do a lot right at that moment.

I think me and Lynz had definitely bonded over having shit families, with hers being torn apart in front of her whilst mine was just a train wreck from start to finish. Ray was the only member of mine that I could stand for more than a few minutes, and I was eternally grateful that we were on speaking terms again. Otherwise I didn't know how i'd cope. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Sorry this is shorter than normal it's just a good place to leave it for now :)


	33. 33

Chapter Thirty Three

After the car park drama, the rest of the week passed suprisingly well. Every day I went to the church for about an hour, was assigned some mediocre chore by Brian, who ignored my constantly remarks, and then I would proceed to sit around on my phone. Of course Gerard would eventually give in and help me with my task, and of course this always ended up with us making out the moment Brian's back was turned. Be it in the bathroom, kitchen, office or even supply cuboard. We never went further than making out simply because we were being careful, although I knew the moment Brian left the building we wouldn't hesitate.

College was fine too, especially now that both Ray and Kellin were speaking to me again. I'd been avoiding James and Isabel like the plauge so as far as your adverage week in May goes, I couldn't fault it. I couldn't even find a fault in the british weather, and that was really saying something.

I guess I'm a pessimist at times though, as I always expect the worst. I can't just appricate something being good, I have to get suspicious of when the bad will raise it's head. I like to think that by being pessimistic I am always either expecting it or plesantly suprised, whereas Optimists are always either expecting it or dissapointed. At least that's what I told myself when the week came to an end without any more drama.

Of course, I wasn't complaining. In fact I relished in it. By the time Sunday came around me, James, Isabel and ray were sitting down in the church pew without so much as a bicker between us. Mainly because I only spoke to Ray, making sure he was seated between myself and his parents, but still.

Throughout the service I did my best to wind up Gerard, the good week going to my head. Whenever Brian was speaking i'd make sure to catch eyes with Gerard and bite my lip, sometimes even smirk a little just to watch him squrim under that tight collar. It certianly made the time pass quicker.

At the end of the service everyone was milling around, drinking cups of tea and coffee and discussing some local charity events or a missing cat. I can't say I paid much attention. Normally I just stood leaning against the wall until they were all ready to go home, but this time Ray approached me before his parents.

"Hey, I need to go ask Father Way to sign a form for me, want to come?" He asked so innocently that I almost laughed.

"Yeah sure" I shrugged "What do you need him to sign anyway?"

"I'm applying for universities and one of them want's my priest's signature to confirm that i'm a Christian" He explained.

"Hmm and let me guess, your dad is making you apply for this one?" I asked as we made our way through the crowd and into the hallway.

"It's not my first choice or anything, but yeah he suggested it" Ray shrugged it off "Not that I really mind though as it's a good university and by doing this I keep my dad happy too, so it's a win-win situation."

"Not really, seeing as you won't be studying music there and we both know that's your real talent here" I called after him as we made our way up the stairs towards the office that I had grown to know so well.

"What do you expect me to do?" He frowned, turning to wait for me as I caught up "Drop out of music and start some sort of aggressive punk band?"

"Why not?" I grinned "You could piss your parents off and have a great time doing so. Who knows? Maybe you'll make it big time as a rock star."

"Get real" He rolled his eyes "I'm from a sleepy town with average aspirations. People like me don't make it."

"Says who?" I kept on, not caring that my persistence was probably irritating him by this point "I think you can make it. You have talent, brains and a personality, what more could you possibly need?"

"Your vote of confidence means a lot" He sighed "And hey, if you're crazy dreams for me ever come true then I'll totally but you a whole housing estate that you can tag to your hearts content."

"Works for me" I laughed as Ray opened the door, and both of us stepped into the church office. Of course, Gerard was standing by the coffee machine, in the process of making himself a cup.

"Oh, hey guys" he smiled at us both.

"Hiding from the congregation?" I raised an eyebrow, thinking back to how quickly he'd scarpered up there in an attempt to be unsociable and not have to converse with the elderly.

"Maybe" He took a gulp from his cup "Anyway, what are you guys doing up here?"

"I need you to sign some uni forms for me" Ray held our the papers "If that's okay."

"Sure thing" Gerard walked over to his desk, setting down his mug before taking a seat in his chair "Let me just grab a pen."

"You sure you really want to submit these?" I asked Ray "I mean, you don't seem like you have your heart set on becoming an accountant or whatever it is that your parents have all but planned out for you."

"Let me just get these signed and then I'll think about it, okay?" He sighed, making Gerard look up from where he had been rummaging around in his bag for a pen.

"Ray, if you don't want the career you've planned then now is the time to change" He gave him a sympathetic smile "Take it from someone who was never truly sure of what they wanted, even now."

"You don't like being a priest?" Ray's eyebrows shot up at that "but you always seemed so happy here-"

"I didn't say I didn't like it, I just meant that sometimes I think I would've been better suited or other jobs, but I let myself take the safe, easier option instead of going after what I really wanted. Don't do the same." Gerard pulled a pen out of his bag and looked down at the forms "I'll sign these for you, but please make sure it's what you really want before you send them off."

"Thank you" he nodded "I promise I'll think about it."

"And don't let your parents have a say in it either" Gerard added "As much as they want what's best for you, they have to accept that it's your life. If you want to fuck it up every now and again then you're entitled to do that. They can't guide you through everything."

"You sound like Frank" Ray chuckled, looking over to where I stood at the edge of the desk.

"I'm honoured" Gerard gave me a small smirk "I guess it's all the time we spend together here, huh Frankie?" He let the name slip off his tongue way too easily, and my heart clenched for a moment and I watched Ray's reaction. He seemed a little surprised at the nickname, but nothing too alarming.

"Yeah" I tried to shrug it off "Something like that."

"Here" Gerard signed the papers and held them out to Ray "good luck with it."

For a moment, I was confused as to why Ray didn't grab the papers straight away, but instead just stared at them like he'd seen some sort of ghost. Gerard was quick to noticed too, and looked at him with concern, hand still outstretched despite Ray's lack of movement.

"Is everything okay Ray?" He frowned, trying to look into Ray's eyes, but his gaze was still firmly set on the papers in front of him. For a moment I wondered if he was just thinking too deeply about the whole issue, and was simply reluctant to take the papers as it would soon become a vital part of his future. But then, of course, he spoke, and I realised it was something far worse.

"Father Way, where did you get that pen?" Ray just mumbled, almost too quiet for us both to hear. Both Gerard and me instantly looked at the aforementioned biro, which was also resting in Gerard's outstretched hand, and more importantly at the hotel name written on the side. The same hotel name that Ray had seen on the soap I brought back a mere few days beforehand.

"What do you mean?" Gerard decided to play dumb in his panic, whilst I just stood there, being of absolutely no use.

It was almost ironic really that I should chose then of all moments to come up blank, no excuse forming in my mind. Normally I was a natural when it came to alibi's, excuses and downright lies. I'd lied to almost everyone I knew, whether it was to officer McManor back in NJ on countless occasions when he'd questioned me of my whereabouts, to my parents, and also my teachers. Hell, I'd even been lying to all my friends for the past few weeks, keeping secrets here there and everywhere.

And yet as Ray glanced over at me, I found myself tripping over my own tongue, trying desperately to find something, anything that could throw him off the scent and let him go back to his innocent belief that me and Gerard's relationship was simply nothing more than that of acquaintances.

"That pen... when did you go to that hotel?" he turned to me "And you - you never even gave me a proper answer as to why you had that soap. And.. and..." he turned back to Gerard and seemed to lose his ability to string a sentence together "but you're..."

"Woah Ray, I think you're jumping to conclusions here" Gerard rushed, standing up from his seat only for Ray to take a step back.

"What conclusions? What's going on here?" he looked between the two of us, eyes resting on me "Frank? Say something here."

I wanted so bad to tell him everything, but from the look of sheer panic on Gerard's face I knew I had to at least try and cover up our tracks, no matter how awful I felt for lying to Ray's face.

"Nothing Ray, I honestly don't know what you're panicking over" I spoke calmly; reminding myself of all the acting techniques I had picked up over the years when it came to lying. Be confident, look them in the eye, and don't fidget.

"That still doesn't explain why you two went to the same hotel" He exclaimed "Stop treating me like some sort of untrustworthy child and tell me the truth Frank. And you too Father Way" he turned back to Gerard "What were you two doing there?"

I looked over at Gerard with a helpless expression, and was met by one of defeat.

"Sit down, Ray" Gerard sighed, taking a seat himself "I think we need to tell you the truth here."

"So there is something going on?" He seemed reluctant to sit down, but when I did the same he joined us, taking in our every movement and expression, panic clear in his eyes.

"I'm not one for putting labels on people's sexualities" Gerard started "But I guess if I were to have to label myself then I would say I was bisexual" That sure stunned Ray into silence, if only temporarily, as his mind pieced it all together

"Wait. So you two are... you two are..."

"We're dating, Ray" I just declared it, tired of edging around the subject like it was going to explode at the tiniest prod "have been for some time."

"Holy shit" he gaped, glancing between the two of us at a frantic speed. For a moment he seemed to go into some sort of state of shock in which disbelief took over, followed quickly by the realisation that it did, in fact, all add up. "I knew you had a complete disregard for rules Frank but I didn't think it would stretch to this. And with him too..."

"I know it's kind of shocking, but we really do love each other" Gerard gave a small smile in my direction as he said it "And as much as we'd love to tell people, we really can't at the moment. So you keeping quiet and not telling anyone would be greatly appreciated."

"You love each other?" He turned to me "You really are fucked when this gets out, you know that - right? My parents... your parents... everybody... this is going to blow up" He was starting to panic on my behalf "I mean, is it even legal? What about your job Father?"

"We'll deal with all of that when the times comes and nobody will know you knew beforehand" Gerard was quick to reassure him "just as nobody know about us until we're ready because you're going to keep quiet, understood?

"I - yes, I wouldn't do that to Frank" he nodded "I just can't believe you've been keeping this secret for so long... I mean when did you... how did you... ugh" He ran a hand through his hair out of stress "forget it, the less I know about this, the better."

"You're probably right there" I studied his expression again, glad to see that he was coming down from his peak of shock "I'm sorry I kept this from you, but it just wasn't my secret to tell alone."

"No it's okay. I er, certainly see the complications involved" He nodded "just... please be more careful. Things are actually being kind of peaceful at the moment and this would tear the family apart if they knew."

"Don't worry, they won't find out" I reassured him to the best of my ability "You only know because you're so goddam observant.

"You should go" Gerard sighed "James and Isabel will be wondering where you both are."

"Yeah, you're right" I stood up, Ray following suit "I'll see you tomorrow." Part of me wanted to kiss him right then, just because I now could, but from the look on Ray's face I felt such an act might just tip him over the edge.

"I'll go ahead" He quickly excused himself before heading out the door, obviously cottoning on to the look I'd been giving Gerard.

"He look that pretty well" Gerard smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder "Better than I thought he would, at least.

"He's loyal, we can trust him" I nodded, leaning up to kiss him briefly "as much as I didn't want to drag him into this mess, I can't help but feel like it will be better for me now that he knows. He was getting suspicious anyway.

"I have Mikey and now you have Ray, it's only fair" he shrugged "Now go find your family before they come up here and drag you out."

\-----


	34. 34

Thirty Four

In the days that followed, I came to the conclusion that I never should have doubted Ray.

Despite knowing my secret, he acted as if nothing had changed when we were around people. He was perfectly convincing and dare I say it, an impressive liar. His parents didn't suspect a thing, especially not from their angelic son. In fact, it was only when the two of us were completely alone that we would mention it - normally just on the way to college and back when we knew we couldn't be overheard.

"You know, I see it so clearly now" he sighed on a dreary Tuesday morning, one hand on the wheel, the other drumming mindless chords on his knee "the way you look at him, how you were always okay with going there every day despite the fact it was supposed to be a punishment... it just all adds up now."

"Well as long as you didn't see it until now then that's all that matters" I sighed, feet resting up on the dashboard as Ray drove through an early morning traffic queue, which we often had to endure when making out way towards the town center.

"Oh no, I didn't have a clue. Nobody could even begin to guess that one, especially with Gerard being a catholic priest... hell, you could probably go round telling people and they'd still just laugh in your face. None of this would even be plausible to the congregation..."

"Good. The less believable, the better."

"Except for when it all comes out" he reasoned "then it's all just going to be ten times worse. There'll be that massive shock factor scandal, the newspapers will get involved... it's going to be total chaos Frank. And you won't be able to escape it."

"We can face that" I shrugged "We're strong, and the media will soon lose interest when they realize we're just another couple with nothing to say to them. Sure, it'll be a tough few weeks, but we'll get through it. I just wish I didn't have to drag you into it too."

"Maybe I'll go on a holiday when it all gets out" he shrugged "make them have to track me down first if they want to question me that badly. Not that I'd ever say anything, but you know."

"I just wish I could come too" I laughed as the car neared the campus "you know, whoever said running away wasn't the best option is wrong. If me and Gerard made a break for it right now then I reckon it would solve practically all our problems overnight."

"And surely bring you new ones along the way."

"Ray, look at us. Do you really think it's going to get worse than the shit we're already in?" He had to laugh at that one, shaking his head.

"Okay okay, you win that round. But if you do decide to run away into the night, make sure you give me a heads up first. I'm not sticking around to clean up your aftermath."

****

"Hey!" Lynz reached out and grabbed me by the back of my jacket, slowing me down in the middle of the crammed corridors "Wait up a minute, I need to talk to you."

"Oh, sure" I let her pull me over to the left hand side of the corridor, where it's less busy and we can actually walk side by side without someone knocking into us "Are you okay? Has something happened again?"

"Sort of" She grimaced "I mean, not to me. Its just Angela... she's really mad at you Frank. I dunno, I think seeing you in person really sparked something off, she won't shut up about what an awful influence you are on me."

"What? Is she trying to make your dad intervene?"

"He wouldn't - he can't expect to control who I'm friends with when I'm seventeen and he knows that. But he certainly doesn't like me mentioning you. Neither of them do" she sighed "Not that I guess we can really expect them to after what we did to her house..." A small smile appeared on her face when she thought of the state we left Angela's garden in.

"Eh, somehow I think I can live without their love" I chuckled "is that all there is? Because if you're just worried about them not liking me then I wouldn't bother, it's not like I'm ever going to have to spend time with them anyway."

"It's more what Angela will do about it that I'm worried about" She emphasized, "You've heard what she's like. I don't want her going round blacklisting your name, but that seems to be what she's doing at the moment. I know things are touchy with your family so I'm sorry if any of her rumors get back to them."

"To be honest with you, my name isn't exactly clean anyway" I didn't add how as soon as the news broke out about my relationship, me tagging a woman's house would be the least of my problems "and it's not like I really care what James and Isabel think of me. Hell, I don't even care what my parents think of me anymore." There had been a few attempted phone calls from home, but on the rarity of times when I did pick up and talk to my parents, it would only be a brief, monotone conversation.

"Frank she's even threatening to sell her story to the papers if it means getting you some punishment. She'd have pressed charges on you by now if she could, but my dad would never let her when it would affect me too. As much as he loves her, he'd hate for me to get a criminal record. It's about the only thing he's ever stood up to her over."

"Well at least he's standing up to her on something, that proves he must have some common sense left" I gave her a reassuring look "and anyway, I don't care who she tells or what she says, I was never going to be popular in this community anyway, this is nothing to me and should be nothing to you too."

"I just feel awful that she's giving you so much grief over this when it was all my fault we went tagging there in the first place" She scuffed her boot along the ground as we neared the canteen, sighing to herself "I know you deal with enough shit as it is."

"Lyn, seriously, don't worry about it okay? There are far more important things to dwell on than Angela and her constant need for attention. And if it makes it better at home then tell them that we're not even that close anymore. After the lies I've told my family about you, I think it's only fair I let you return the favor." She laughed then, tipping her head back and letting out a long cackle.

"Sweetie, I can't help making an excellent safety girlfriend" She winked "and besides, it was an honor to fake-date you. If only I'd known at the time. We could've gone for fake-dates where we dress up and you buy me food."

"And by food we would mean McDonalds chips and a coke to share" I scoffed, making her lightly slap my arm, an almost threatening look on her face that instantly made me laugh.

"Hey you! I'm a fancy-ass lady! I need fucking lobster, got it?"

"If I'm ever rich enough to buy you lobster, then I promise we'll go."

"Deal" We'd reached the canteen doors by then and were both walking over to our table "Oh and Frank? Angela and my dad will just have to deal with our friendship, because there's no way I'm lying about it to anyone. You're stuck with me for life."

"I wouldn't dream of it any other way" I said as I sat down, instantly becoming submerged in the conversation, which largely consisted of Kellin talking about how he was busy with Vic all weekend. Of course, we also heard all about Jimmy's latest antics, which consisted of him dyeing multiple items of clothing pink the night before in a spur-of-the-moment decision that I'm sure he would eventually come to hate, but never regret.

***

"Hymn number 666."

"For god's sake Frankie choose a proper one" Gerard rolled his eyes from where he was perched on the altar, the various cards in his hands and the board that dictated each service's hymns lying in front of him.

"696?"

"Frank..." I laughed at his expression. He was trying not to show his amusement, as he knew it would only encourage me further, so he'd gone for this frown that kept turning up at the corner of his mouth every so often when his control slipped.

"What? They're in the book so they count" I exclaimed "how would you feel if you composed some gospel hymn, only for it to be labeled 666 in the song book and so never picked, not even once?"

"I'd probably go away and write something better so they'd have no choice but to sing it" He grumbled "but anyway, it's beside the point. We need to get this done already."

"Oh really? Why's that? Got something else planned?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Not if you keep taking this long I don't" He snapped back, and I felt my resolve crumbling slightly "Now chose one more song and we're done."

"Make me."

I knew it would tease him to hear me say it, and I could feel from the way his grip stiffened that I'd had the chosen effect. Of course, this just inspired me further "make me, father Way."

He jumped down from the altar with nimble speed, and walked over to me, an eyebrow raised.

"You really want me to make you?" He asked in a low tone, glancing over at the closed church door. Brian was away at a meeting; and until that point we hadn't taken advantage of that fact. I guess we'd just been enjoying messing around in each other's company, but now there was a definitive shift in the tension that surrounded us. Especially when he placed a hand on my shoulder and smirked.

"You'll have to forgive me, because I've sinned" I winked "and from the look in your eyes I think I'm about to sin again." That really made his grip on my increase, and before I knew what was happening he was pushing down on my shoulder with strong force.

"You better get down on your knees and pray then."

Before I could say anything in response, I found myself dropping to the ground, my shins bumping against the stone floor hard enough that I hoped they wouldn't bruise. The hymn book fell to the ground beside me; completely forgotten the moment he unzipped his jeans.

He let me pull them down, and I did so with nimble, eager hands, which were getting far too skilled in this region for anyone to ever know. I even surprised myself with how easily I got his underwear down, letting in rest at his ankles.

I took him in my mouth without even so much as a word of warning, make him gasp and rest a hand on the wooden pew behind me in order to stop himself from going too weak at the knees. His other hand was in the back of my neck, gripping the ends of my hair tightly as he pushed further into my mouth.

My gag reflex threatened to kick in, but I managed to keep one step ahead of it, taking my time to lick up the underside of his dick and tease him as much as I could; with both my hands and my mouth.

"Fuck" He groaned "I'm going to hell for this one." I had to admit, he had a slight point. There we were, in the middle of the church, right in front of the empty pews, and I was on my knees sucking him off. I made a noise of agreement, not able to voice my reply when I was so... otherwise preoccupied.

I momentarily stopped what I was doing to grin up at him "Is it bad that I don't particularly care?"

"Probably, but then again I can't - oh" he let his eyes roll backwards as I started where I left off, this time going at a faster pace and sucking twice as hard. He bucked his hips into my mouth and let out a string of curses when I grabbed the back of his thighs, pulling him impossibly closer.

"Frankie I'm -" he started to say, but of course only got about halfway through before he was coming into my mouth, letting out a long moan as he did so. I swallowed; ignoring the taste as I did so, knowing it was the most efficient way to get rid of any evidence of exactly what had just happened.

By this point he'd fallen to his own knees beside me, still trying to regain his breath as he did so. His eyes had gone darker than normal; pupils dilated from his arousal. And oh fuck did I love to see him like that.

"I'd return the favor but we're already running late" He sighed, glancing over at the clock. It told us that we were already suppose to be on our way to dropping me back home, and as much as I'd love to have stayed I knew that it wasn't worth arising suspicion.

"Oh don't worry, you can repay me another time" I grinned as he leaned in to kiss me, going straight for an open-mouthed one, with his hands on my hips and my back pressed against the pew.

"Come on, we've gotta get a move on" he broke away with reluctance and stood up, pulling his clothes back on as he did so. With a groan I pulled myself to my feet and dusted the dirt off my knees, hating how quickly we had to move when we were sneaking around.

I knew that it was now only June though. So much could happen between then and October, most of which I could only guess at. All I knew for certain was that it wouldn't be plain sailing for us, or indeed anyone involved.


	35. 35

Chapter Thirty Five

The following weekend Kellin threw another party. Of course, as teenagers with questionable social lives, we all jumped at the thought of a free house, especially when it one the size of Kellin's, where we could all hang out for the night and get away from our families.

Obviously Vic would be coming along, so how much we'd actually see of Kellin was questionable, but I was sure they'd be able to keep their hands off each other long enough to play the hosts. I was pretty sure Oli was bringing Hannah too, and it made me feel a little jealous to see them so freely walking around as a couple. I wished I could do the same with Gerard. That I could bring him along to these parties, that he could meet my friends, that everyone could just know that he was taken.

Instead I found myself once again the single one, standing around with a few friends near the snacks table and trying not to get too pissed just to cover up the fact that I felt lonely without him.

"Is everything okay?" Oli asked me at one point, detaching himself from Hannah and opting to come and talk to me for a bit whilst she and Lynz went off in search of where the lemonade had gone "You've been here two hours now and you still haven't spoken to Dewees – is my matchmaking that off?"

"Dewees is here?" I found myself scanning the room and still not seeing the familiar face "I didn't even realize." I had to admit, I didn't exactly want to speak to Dewees at that moment in time. Or ever, really. He was part of the reason I was in this mess in the first place and although I knew it wasn't completely his fault, I was still angry with him for being involved in the whole thing. 

"Yeah. I think he's avoiding you too though" Oli laughed it off "Last time I saw he was in the back garden. Go talk to him man, or he's going to think you don't like him." 

"Yeah maybe." 

"Frank, come on" he rolled his eyes "Even if you're not interested in him, doesn't mean you can't be polite. He's my friend and I promise he's a really nice guy. You should know after all that time you spent talking to him last time!" 

I just sighed and took a long gulp of my beer.

"Yeah I guess I'll go talk to him" I tried to shrug it off, and it must have worked because Oli gave a grin and a encouraging slap to the shoulder.

"See? You guys just need to get over whatever awkward kissing may or may not have happened last time and stay friends. Trust me, he's a good guy once you get to know him. Rough around the edges and a little dodgy at times, but a good guy."

I just nodded and hoped he was right.

***

Sure enough, I found Dewees in the garden.

He was perched on a bench near the pond, a cigarette in one hand and a half empty beer bottle in the other. The look of his face was one of deflation, making me unable to help feeling somewhat sorry for the guy, to the point where I just sat down next to him with a sigh. 

For a moment we sat in silence; both of us watching the pond and the small goldfish we could just about see in the dim lighting coming from the back porch light.

"I used to have one of them" he spoke eventually, nodding at the fish "weird things really. Of course I was about ten at the time and quickly got bored of the poor thing, but I remembered to feed it. That's the main thing." 

"I never had a pet" I frowned "I guess my parents knew never to really trust me with a living thing. It would've been a disaster if they did. I've always wanted a dog at some point though. I use to walk my neighbours one all the time – for a while I even did dog sitting for relatives for some extra cash." 

"I'm in no position to get a pet at the moment" he chuckled darkly and humourlessly "I can't even look after myself properly. Trust me, ten year old you would do a far better job."

"Yeah well seventeen year old me is here right now and he say's that you need proper help, not just from me" I pulled my knees up to my chin to preserve my decreasing body heat. Although it was June, I still didn't have a jacket of any description and although it wasn't uncomfortable to be outside, it still felt a little breezy.

"Frank, i'm flattered that you'd still want to help me after all the greif i've caused you, but seriously - it's not worth your time. Especially as we're suppose to be keeping our distance" he glanced between the two of us. 

"I wan't to help you though" I sighed "you're no lost cause yet, you could still turn it all around. I know i'm not one to talk with a record like mine, but at least i'm not addicted to drugs. They'll fuck you up Dewees. You need to get away from Ian." 

"You're not addicted to drugs, but you do have addictions" he pointed out "I know you have a small one with smoking, and your addiction to graffiti could rival even my own drug problems." 

"At least I don't go tagging with someone like Ian though" I gave him a somewhat sympathetic smile, stretching my feet out in front of me "look just... think about it. If you need a place to stay then i'm sure Kellin would let you crash for a bit. Hell, he'd be glad of the company." 

"This wouldn't be safe enough" he sighed "i'd have to go further than this." 

"Then buy a fucking train ticket, choose a new city to escape to. I'll hep you" When I was met with silence, I sighed myself and stood up "If you want my help then just give me a call yeah? You have my number." 

"Thanks Frank" he finally spoke "It's refreshing to find someone who'll overlook the drugs and actually try to help." 

"Sure thing man" I gave a small smile before walking back towards the house. My serious deed of the night was over, and right then I was intending to get completely shit-faced, forget everything and just be a normal seventeen year old for once.

***

I woke up the next morning passed out on the Quinn's no doubt expensive living room carpet, my mouth agape and dribbling in what I was sure was an oh-so-attractive manner, whilst my whole neck and back ached from lying with just a cushion under my head for however many hours i'd been passed out. 

I blinked open my eyes to the bright light around me and saw an array of empty bottles and sleeping teenagers. At least I hadn't been the only one to pass out on the floor. In fact, as I got to my feet, wobbling slightly, I saw quite a few familiar faces. Lynz had taken the sofa next to me, and was still fast asleep; her fair falling down over her face like a black curtain. 

I stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the back of my head and deciding to see if anyone else was up. Kellin's sound system was still going at a low volume in the background, his spotify playlist now displaying some indie band i'd never heard of. Of course my hangover meant I could've done with some silence, so I hit the pause button as i passed the laptop, muting the poor guys mid-chorus. 

I picked my way through the house until I reached the back door. The clock told me it was eight am, which surprised me as I was normally a late riser. Something must have made me stir, perhaps a weird dream I could no longer recall. 

My memories after my talk with Dewees were kind of blurred and patchy in places. I know I drank a lot and that at one point me and Jimmy had been dancing, but apart from that it all just blurred together. It must have got pretty wild for our standards as most people didn't leave and none of the others were even awake yet. 

It reminded me of being a kid and waking up first at a sleepover. You never really knew what to do. Waking anyone else up was out of the question, especially as I knew Vic had been there the night before and was no doubt sleeping upstairs will Kellin, or perhaps worse. No way was I risking walking in on that. 

My mind itched for a cigarette, and so after a minute or so of feeling around in my pockets, I located my dwindling pack and pulled one out, along with the worn lighter, before stepping out through the french doors. 

The garden was peaceful now, with the sun still being fresh in the sky. At first, I thought I was completely alone, but then I heard a voice i instantly recognised to be Dewees. It was coming from the alley round the side of the house, so I headed in that direction as I lit my cigarette, figuring that at least there was someone else awake around here. Who knew? Perhaps I would even be able to pick up on our conversation from the night before and convince him fully to drop Ian and his drugs. 

I rounded the corner only to find Dewees standing there, with what appeared to be a spliff in his right hand and a glazed look in his eyes. 

Maybe my words from the night before hadn't sunk in quite as much as i'd hoped. 

"Dewees? What the hell man?" I exclaimed, moving closer down the alleyway to where he was stood, back pressed against the wall. He turned to me with a somewhat surprised expression, but made no efforts to get rid of the drugs clearly in his hand. 

"Frank." He stated, waiting a moment "I er, thought you were asleep." 

"I was." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah" I looked him up and down "Were you paying any attention to me last night, or was that all just an act to get me off your case for long enough so that you could light another one up?" 

"Frank please, come on dude, i get high to get away from this sort of thing. Just leave me alone for a bit and we'll talk later, okay?" He tried, but i stood there with a stony expression "look, i'm going home now anyway so i'll be out of your hair again." 

"You're not going home alone" I shook my head, my mind made up before i even realised it myself "Come on, i'm coming with you. If you won't listen to me now then i'll just wait until this is all out of your system. Then we can talk about how we're going to get you away from Ian." 

"But-" 

"No" I cut him off, taking him by the arm and dragging him down the alleyway and across Kellin's front lawn as I spoke "it's about time I helped you out of this shit, seeing as you clearly can't do it by yourself." 

***

"Here" I placed two mugs of coffee on the counter, watching as Dewees eyed them both before slowly picking one up. "Go on, it'll help." 

"Frank I appreciate the help, really I do, but you're only making this worse for yourself by hanging around with me. I'm kind of a lost cause." 

"No you're not" I sighed, taking a gulp and sitting down opposite me "trust me, if you were, I wouldn't be here. But I know that you've just been unlucky." 

"That's putting it lightly." 

"So we'll fix it together" I shrugged "First of all you need to break away from Ian and his friends. You need to get off these drugs, and slowly slip away from them. They'll get the message once you stop buying their product." 

"It's not that simple. They'll want to know why. They might not think they can trust me anymore if I decide to clean up." He shuddered a little, making me wonder just how much of all of this was due to his genuine fear of Ian. 

"So you tell them the truth. Say you wan't to focus, get a good career. Hey! Tell them you're in a relationship now and that you want to do right by your new partner. That's a typical reason for giving up, right?" 

"I take it you're not offering to be that partner" He chuckled darkly, but his gaze held a little bit of hope in there too. 

"I'm sorry Dewees, but i'm already with someone." 

"Oh" he nodded "Oli never mentioned that." 

"He doesn't know." I didn't offer an explanation, hoping he'd drop it. 

"Never mind, I didn't expect a yes" he sighed "Not that I blame you anyway." 

"Don't talk like that -" 

"Sorry" he ran a hand through his hair in stress "It's just all getting to me at the moment, and I don't want to offload onto you but-" 

He was interrupted by a noise neither of us had been expecting - the sound of four sharp knocks on his front door. And they did not sound like the ones his mother would make when she came to visit, but rather someone who knew how to throw a punch. 

Both our eyes went wide as we froze up, me more so than him. 

"Dewees?" A rough voice that I instantly recognised to be none other than Ian himself, called through the door "I know you're in there. Open up before I get mad." 

That was when Dewees turned to me, sheer panic in his eyes, and whispered "hide." 

_____________________________________________________________________


	36. 36

Thirty Six

Sheer panic ran through me as I realised just how much shit I could possibly be in. Dewees was already out of his seat and heading towards the door, his expression enough to tell me I had limited time to find a place to curl up and hold my breath in.

I went for the cupboard under the stairs, knowing that there was no time to get up the stairs without making too much noise. Especially when Dewees was already at the door, waiting for me to be completely hidden before he let that thug into his house.

"Just coming!" He yelled, trying desperately to stall as I threw myself into the confident space, pulling the door shut behind me and behind grateful for once of my short legs that just about fit when I curled up in that cobweb-infested hole. Thank god I wasn't too claustrophobic, or I really would've been in shit.

It was dark in there, to the point where I could only just about see my own hand in front of my face. So I had to rely on my hearing to know what was going on outside. And luckily, it wasn't exactly hard to overhear when Ian had such a loud, booming voice.

"Finally!" I heard him exclaim "What the hell took you so long? Three of us have been waiting out here in plain sight for five minutes now."

"Sorry" Dewees was quick to reply. Much like a small, obedient puppy really "I was listening to music and didn't hear the knocking at first."

"Why am I not surprised?" Another voice sighed "You sure you really want to trust this idiot Ian? Dosen't exactly look like the sort of person I'd want to put in charge of a fucking goldfish."

"Piss of Rob" Dewees retorted to this new voice before calming down his tone to adress Ian again "Is that why you've showed up so suddenly? Did you need me for something?"

"Unfortunately, yes" Ian quipped "And as much as I don't need advice from you Rob, you have a point,but we don't have any other options here. If the cops find even so much of a whisp of evidence linking you to me, they'll be able to get a search warrant on you too. And even on Kyle here." At least I now knew the names all three thugs visting now.

"Wait what?" Dewees sounded like he was trailing after them into the kitchen "What's going on?" 

"We need somewhere to stash our... supplies" Ian seemed to choose his words carefully.

"Our old hiding spot isn't safe anymore, one of our guys got taken in for questioning and we think he might have leaked Ian's name" That was Rob guy's voice again. It was starting to irritate me even though i'd never seen his face. There was definitely a nasally tone to it.

"Basically we're all on tenterhooks and we need someone who'd never be associated with us" A third voice, which must have belonged to the guy named Kyle, spoke up. His voice was more gruff than Rob's, but still not holding the power than Ian projected with his.

"Wait, you mean me?"

"Is that a problem Dewees?" All of a sudden Ian's tone of voice was threatening, almost territorial and downright scary. "We need you to step up for once and be part of this. Is that too much for you to handle?"

"N-no" Dewees all but spluttered "It's just... Where am I suppose to hide all of that? There's so much of it and I can't be caught smuggling it in and out, I just can't. I mean I-"

"Shut the fuck up a minute" Ian snapped so suddenly I found myself flinching from my place in the cupboard.

"What is it?" nasal Rob piped up.

"Is there someone else here Dewees?" Ian asked, making my blood run cold. How the hell could he possibly know? I didn't bring any of my possessions with me and if they were in the kitchen they wouldn't even be in sight of my hiding spot.

"What do you mean?" Even I could hear the nerves in his voice that all but gave it away.

"There's two cups of coffee here and they're both still warm" Ian spoke slyly and no doubt smugly, but i was too terrified to bring myself to even dwell on how much of an asshole he was. "So Dewees, are you going to tell us who's here, or are we going to have to make you tell us?"

"Ian please-"

There was the sound of fist meeting flesh, a sickening noise that made my eyes go wide and my body curl up in a more fetal position, just waiting to see if Dewees could muster up a convincing lie within the next few seconds.

"Where are they? Who are they?" Ian all but shouted, and I heard a small whimper come from Dewees in response. Great.

"Why don't we just beat him until his little friend comes out from wherever he's hiding?" Kyle spoke, and that was the moment when I decided I hated him even more than Rob. "I mean, if they give a shit about Dewees here, then they'll come out soon enough. Especially when I break his fucking nose." Dewees just whimpered again, muttering faint pleases and apologises that weren't directed at anyone in particular.

"Go on then" Ian seemed almost happy with the situation "this will be interesting if nothing else."

The sound of another punch filled the air, following quickly by a second one, and then by the sound of what was no doubt Dewees falling over with a cry of pain. He still didn't speak, obviously trying to protect me as best he could.

The dilemma set in. I couldn't let my friend get beaten up for me, even though I knew that once they saw me and recognised me, there was no telling what they'd do. From what i'd just witnessed I knew that Ian had no problem with violence, in fact it seemed like he got off on the stuff. But I guessed that it would just have to be something i'd have to endure if it meant doing the right thing.

It took the sound of a kick to make me cave, throwing open the cupboard door and crawling out. It took me mere seconds to get up and run into the kitchen, hands up and a wild look in my eyes as I saw the three men standing around a curled up Dewees.

"Stop!" I yelled, making them all turn around to face me "You win, okay?"

Everything sped up after that.

Before I knew it, one of the guys who I think was Rob was blocking the doorway, whilst Kyle all but charged at me. He grabbed me roughly by the back of my t-shirt and chucked me towards the floor, making me fall to my hands and knees infront of Ian. My palms stung from the force at which they hit the floor, but I hardly had time to even register that before Ian's foot flew into my face.

It was a sharp, painful kick that made me cry out and clutch at my throbbing cheek, which i could already feel bruising beneath my hand.

"That's for the other week you little shit" Ian growled, looking down at my crumpled form with a mixture of superiority and satisfaction. It was obvious he'd been waiting for this moment for quite a while now, making it even sweeter for him to finally be able to put me in my place.

"Wait, this is your mystery guy?" Kyle spoke up from behind me "The one with the fire alarm?"

"Yep" Ian smiled then "guess you're not so much of a mystery after all then. I should've known Dewees here would be involved" he turned to my friend, who was now avoiding all eye contact with anyone, including even me. "Well Dewees? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"He't not even trying to deny it" Rob sneered when Ian was met with silence "I say we make him show a bit more respect that this. Teach him why he should never cross us or hide shits like him" he nodded at me.

"Ian please" Dewees had wide eyes as he finally looked up at Ian "It was never like that. I only just met Frank, but I knew we could trust him not to speak up. I made sure he didn't tell a soul, I promise."

"Don't try and make it out like you were on our side" Ian cocked his head and glanced between the two of us "to be honest with you, i'm struggling with which one of you I was to punch first right now. You're both so tempting."

"Dewees doesn't deserve any of this" I spoke up for the first time since i'd landed on the floor "stop toying with him like food and just let him up."

"Oh should we now?" Rob glared down at me, and I tried to satisfy myself by daydreaming about pulling out his vocal chords. "I hate to break it to you, but you're in no position to even fucking talk right now."

"He can speak" Ian all but cut him off "he'll need to do a lot of talking if he wants to walk away from this one. Let's at least give him a shot. Or lack of one, should I say." He let out a bark at the end, like putting a bullet in me was just a joke to him.

"Why would you bother shooting me? That would just be a waste of a bullet" I tried "I mean, I don't know the slightest thing about your gang. There's nothing I could actually go to the police with."

"Oh you could" Ian sighed like I was just a time waster to him "The police would do anything for evidence on me, no matter how small. And you could be a key witness. That's why i've had so many people looking for you. You've caused me a lot of agro, you know that?"

"Er, yeah. I guessed as much."

"Well guess what kid? I've won now" he kneeled down in front of me, and in one quick movement stole my wallet from my jean pocket. He flipped it open, and instead of looking for money like i'd originally thought he'd do, he instead just looked at my ID. "What's your name then? Frank... how the fuck do you pronounce that one?"

"Eye-ear-oh" I said automatically, so use to repeating it to everyone i met.

"Well Iero, looks like you and me are going to be getting to know each other dosen't it? That's if you want to live" he was right up in my face now, his breath stale and generally rancid. "What will it be then? You going to do as I say and keep quiet, or are you not bothered about going home tonight?"

"Well obviously i don't want to die" I grunted, earning myself another kick to the face, this time by Kyle. It stung even worse than the first one. Mainly because it was on the same side and because I think Kyle was just a violence-happy guy.

"Take it seriously or i'll kick your fucking face in" he spat, and Ian actually had to wave a hand to get him to back off.

"it's okay Kyle, he'll conform." He tuned around then and gave Dewees a sickening smile "Well then Dewees, it seems we've found the answer to your smuggling problems."

"W-what do you mean?"

"We'll keep our supplies in your house, and Frank eye-ear-mouth-oh over here will smuggle them in and out for us. In exchange, we'll let you two live harm-free, so long as you follow my rules and don't breath a word of this to anyone, understood?"

"Wait" i spluttered "You want me to do your drug drops for you?"

"Well it seems only fitting really" he grabbed my face in his hand and turned it sideways, inspecting the bruise his shoe had made with mild satisfaction. All I could think about was the way his fingernails dug into my skin like dirty claws "Seeing as you're so good at finding our drops in the first place, I might as well put you in charge of them. Perhaps you could point out the flaws in our original plans."

"You really want to trust this piece of shit with that?" Rob asked, eyeing my wearily.

"He's in this now" Ian shrugged "And nobody would suspect him to be involved in this, which is what we need right now."

"But I don't have the first clue about any of this!" i tried to plead my case "Come on, you can't expect me to-"

"Oh but I do. And you will. Don't worry, an ape could do your job. Just do as I say and you won't get caught." He leaned closer still, so that i could see the mad tint in his eyes "and don't even think about double crossing me for a second kid. Because if you try anything, then i will destroy you. And your friend over here. Got it?" I merely nodded in defeat. "I'm glad we agree."

"Can I go?" I asked, my voice lacking in it's usual tongue-and-cheek attitude and instead replaced by a fearful one i barley recognised.

"For now. But i'll need your number" Kyle handed over my phone to him, and i watched as he transferred the contact details in silence. "When I ring, you fucking pick up or deal with the consequences, okay?"

"Okay" i gulped, and with that the grip Kyle had on my shoulder was released. Finally I was allowed to get to my feet and watch as they grabbed their stuff, sauntering out of the place like they owned it. Of course, not before stashing an alarming amount of drugs in the cupboard under the sink.

I didn't even say anything to Dewees when i left. I just stumbled out of there, bruised and shocked, wondering just how the hell I was going to get out of this one.

_________________________________________________________________________


	37. 37

Thirty Seven

When I left Dewees house i was in a mild form of shock and somewhat scared shitless, still not sure quite how so much bad luck could befall one person. The worst bit was I didn't really know where to go or what to do, so i ended up just sitting on the side of the pavement. I was somewhere within the local neighbourhood, about a few streets away from my aunt and uncle's house, and yet I didn't want to commit to that final stage of the journey.

I didn't want to have to face them after everything that had just happened. Especially not with the bruises i could already feel forming across my face. That would only bring countless questions from my aunt and uncle, and even more from Ray. I'd just got back on good terms with him and the last thing i wanted was for him to find out I was hiding yet more secrets from him.

Of course I knew exactly where my heart was telling me to go, but my head insisted i thought it through first. I didn't want to involve Gerard in any of this, especially not now when Ian had my name and even my phone number. Now that I was a new pawn in his game; and it was an illegal game at that.

Part of me loved Gerard far too much to ever want to involve him in such things, but I knew that a larger, more selfish part was craving to see him, to have him convince me that we'd be okay and for him to come up with some sort of solution to this fucked up mess I had landed myself in.

It was these thoughts that lead to me dragging myself to my feet, off that dirty street corner, and walking in the opposite direction to house, if you could even call it that, and towards a place that was already a far better home to me than my relatives would ever be.

***

It was only when I arrived at Gerard's house that i remembered that it was actually a Sunday, so he would still be at church for a good hour or so yet. Of course i'd rather wait than go anywhere else, so I settled down on his front porch, leaning against my bag and stretching my legs out in front of me in an attempt to get comfortable.

I don't know wether it was the lack of sleep from the night before, the slight hangover or the shock from my ordeal beforehand, but something within those reasons, most likely a combination of all three, made me drift off to sleep. I used my bag for support as I let my eyes wander closed, my breaths slowing down.

Of course, going to sleep on a front porch wasn't really the most practical of places to catch a few winks, but i'd never been fussy about where i napped or how comfortable it was. As long as I could squeeze in some rest, I was happy.

***

"Frank?" I felt someone shaking my shoulder "Frankie, wake up."

"mmph" I tried to move away and get comfortable again, but by this point I was coming round and starting to realise a few things. One, that i was extremely uncomfortable, my neck aching from the weird position i'd fallen asleep in. Two, that i was cold as fuck. And three, that the voice trying to wake me up undoubtedly belonged to Gerard.

"Come on, you're freezing" I forced my eyes to open and found myself face to face with Gerard, who was dressed in a way that told me he'd just arrived back home from church, collar and all, his bag tossed over his shoulder. He was crouching over me, looking concerned as to what exactly i was doing napping on his doorstep.

"I'll explain" I suppressed a shiver, still leaning against the wall as I looked up at him "I must've fallen asleep waiting for you... what time is it?"

"Half past three. When did you get here?" He picked up my bag for me as I pulled myself to my feet.

"Um.. hard to say... about an hour ago I guess" I watched from behind him as he unlocked his front door and stepped inside, placing both our bags down in the hallway before turning back around to face me. Only he froze in his tracks when our eyes met, and he saw my full face.

I guess i'd been leaning on the wall with the side of my face that had been kicked, as he froze in shock, taking it in with what could only be described as a horrified expression.

"That bad?" I grimaced, part of me not even wanting to look in the mirror for what I would be greeted with. I knew I had to though, so I stepped inside, letting the door swing shut behind me, and looking into the hallway mirror.

"Frank - what the hell happened?" he was still gaping as he closed the distance between us, looking over my shoulder at my reflection as i studied it for myself. The whole left side of my cheek was covered in a bruise. The skin was various shades of purple, red and even yellow, stretching all the way up my cheek and giving me a prominent black eye.

In total, I looked like shit. And I was going to have to get my hands on some of Lynz's makeup if I wanted to even leave my bedroom for the next week. Even then, I would have to slather the stuff on in order to mask up such a mark. The last thing i needed was more questions, especially from my family who were finally starting to back off.

"It's worse than I thought it would be" I sighed, running my fingers lightly over the skin and still wincing at the sharp sting it gave me.

"Frank" he emphasised my name out of sheer frustration, grabbing hold of me by the elbow so that I had to choice but to turn and face him properly "are you going to tell me who the hell did this to you?"

"Yeah" I gave a small nod "could I get some ice first though? I'm worried this is going to swell up, and then I definitely won't be able to hide it tomorrow."

"Of course" he rushed, keeping hold of me and towing me towards the kitchen "come on, let's get you cleaned up."

***

"I'm going to fucking kill him."

"Gerard. You're a priest."

My attempts to lighten the mood were met with a blank expression from my boyfriend, who was currently pacing his living room as if he could simply walk us out of this mess. I, meanwhile, had taken to lying out across the sofa with a bag of frozen peas resting over half of my face.

I had finished telling him all about exactly what had happened at Dewees house, and needless to say he was an angry mess about the whole thing. If fact he seemed to have forget the ten commandments entirely and was even plotting murder, something I was pretty sure he should at least take his collar off to do.

"He can't just get away with all of this and expect you to get involved. You can't get involved. You just can't..."

"I have to" I shrugged "unless you have some sort of brilliant idea that allows us to take down an entire gang without getting shot along the way."

"Well then we'll have to get out of here." Even as he said it, I could hear the disbelief at his own words. The impracticalities were just too high for us both.

"Neither of us are in a position to leave this place" I rolled my eye at him, the other one numbed by peas "I still have to finish my college courses and you don't have anywhere to be transferred too. Plus I'm not even eighteen yet and so have to stay in my aunt and uncles care. Face it, we're trapped here for at least the next five months."

"I won't just let you walk into something like this" he finally stopped pacing only to collapse down onto the sofa next to me, his hair a tangled mess were he'd been running his hands through it. "I can't let you, you could get hurt Frankie. You could die. You've seen what they're like now."

"I know you don't want me to, but right now we don't have a choice" I moved myself into a sitting position so I could look at him properly, letting the peas fall to one side, discarded for now "we'll get through this though. We'll find a way eventually."

"How can you be so optimistic about this?" He pulled me closer to him, wrapping an arm around my shoulder in a subconscious gesture. His eyes kept wandering to the bruises that littered my face, and every time I saw more rage appear in his features.

"Because I can't afford to be pessimistic anymore." I said it in a small voice that threatened to crack on me near the end. I think he must have picked up on this, as the next moment he was wrapping a hand around my next and pulling me closer.

He kissed me, trying to be gentle with my face as he only touched the good side, letting his other hand remain around my shoulders. My cold lips met his heated ones in a hot flush that I had been so desperate for since the moment I arrived. It was everything I needed right then and more, with him wrapping himself around me almost like a shield. I clung to him with a grip that perhaps hinted at how scared I truly was, but I kissed him hard enough that I doubt he was capable of noticing. I just needed a distraction, something to remind me that there was in fact some good in my life.

***

"I don't want to go" I sighed in blank protest at the ceiling above me, glaring up at it as if it could in some way help me.

"Then don't" Gerard curled an arm around my waist, pulling me close enough that I could lean my head against his chest. We we lying on his bed in the early evening, neither of us waning to move.

We hadn't had sex or anything - I was far too emotionally and physically drained from the ordeal that the day had become. But Gerard had insisted I rested up with the frozen peas on the bruise whilst the painkillers kicked in, so we'd ended up dozing off together in his bed, both in our tshirts and curled up together.

"I could phone Ray and get him to cover for me" I yawned, my eyes feeling heavy under the light emitting from his window.

"I'll get it for you" He reached over to the bedside table and pulled my retrieved my phone "It's not like we need to hide it from him anymore, but it's probably better if you speak to him." 

"Yeah" I nodded sleepily in agreement as he passed me my phone, sending Ray a quick text telling him to cover for me and that i'd be home after college the next day. I didn't add where i was just in case anyone was to read over his shoulder. I had no doubt he'd be able to guess though. In fact, I even smirked a little to myself as a drifted off to sleep, imaging his face when he realised exactly where I would be staying that night. 

______________________


	38. 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Hold still" Gerard barked at me, creases of concentration lining his forehead as he looked down on me "and for fuck's sake keep you left eye closed, unless you want me to get this foundation in there." 

"Do I even want to know why you have makeup?" I raised my eyebrow, but kept my eye closed as he had instructed. He was patching up my black eye with some concealer and foundation and god knows what else. I was eternally grateful too, as otherwise I could only imagine the looks I would have received when I walked onto the college campus with half my face bright shades of purple and yellow. 

"We all go through phases Frankie" He answered cryptically "besides, it's coming in useful now, so I got my money's worth eventually." 

"Are you sure? Isn't makeup really expensive?" I faintly remembered Lynz and Kitty complaining about it a few weeks beforehand. According to them, all the cheap stuff made you look like some sort of tangerine, and all the decent brands took half their money just to cover up a few spots. Man, I was glad I didn't have all the pressures placed on women. 

"I honestly can't remembered what this cost" he shrugged, gently dabbing some of it on the underside of my eye with a delicate pattern "anyway, you're worth it." 

"You mushy bastard" I grumbled, making him giggle. 

"Don't pretend like you don't love it" He winked, pulling back to look at his handiwork. "This actually looks pretty decent, you know. I don't think anyone will be able to tell you've been punched, as look as you don't wash any of this off or get too up close with anyone." 

"Don't worry, I save that for you anyway" I continued to flirt as I jumped up, going over to the mirror to check his makeup skills. "Geez Gerard, you weren't kidding when you said you were good with this stuff." He'd applied it perfectly, far beyond my regions of understanding when it came to makeup. I could only tell it was there because i knew what to look for, but i was sure it would fool everyone else, at least for the day. 

"I was an art student for a while... it kind of goes hand in hand..." He kept it vague as he came up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing the side of my neck "be careful today, yeah? I don't want any more bruises to cover up on you." 

"Yes sir" I winked at his reflection. 

"I mean it, Frank" he spun me around to face him properly "This isn't some sort of game anymore. If anything happens you have to phone me straight away, okay? No matter what time." 

"I know, I've got it" I nodded, leaning up to kiss him briefly "I'll try and come to church after college anyway so i'll probably see you then." 

"Okay, do you want me to drive you to college? I've just about got time if we set off now..." He was overly-worried and overly-stressed about the whole thing, and it made me feel awful for causing such a burden to fall on him. 

"It's okay, I enjoy the walk" I pulled him in for one last hug, burying my face in the crook of his neck "Please don't let this get to you. I'll work this out eventually. I always do." 

"We'll work this out" he corrected, and for some reason that simple sentence hit me harder than any motivational speech ever could have.

***

College actually went reasonably smoothly, with the most eventful moment being when Jimmy decided to see how fast a textbook would burn (if you're interested, it took around three minutes to completely disintegrate.) 

Of course, it was at lunch that they noticed the makeup on my face, when Lynz brushed my fringe away from my face and peered closer. 

"Have you got concealer on?" She frowned as i batted her hand away. 

"Er, yeah" luckily i'd already prepared for this moment and actually had an excuse to hand "I was out tagging last night and i tripped over." 

"Oh right" she nodded "I guess it's better to cover it up than get attention for it then." 

"Exactly" I confirmed, and as simply as that they all bought my excuse and moved onto the next topic of conversation. I felt awful for lying to them all yet again, even more so when I saw how easily they believed every word I said without even a moments thought. I hoped they'd never have to find out the sheer amount of lies i'd been feeding them from the moment they welcomed me in, although I was sure it was inevitable that some would be revealed. 

The only person who raised an eyebrow was Kellin, but I gave him a look that told him to keep quiet, and he quickly got the message and pretended like he had no interest in my tagging injury. I had no doubt that he'd force me to tell him the truth later on though, but I could handle that. 

Sure enough, in music, he brought it up. Oli had gone to find a better guitar to practice with and the two of us were sitting in the practice room like usual, not really doing an awful lot.

"Frank. The bruise... it wasn't your mystery boyfriend, was it?" He asked quietly "because I know you won't say much about him, but if he's hurting you then you need to tell someone and well you need to get away-"

"No no no!" I rushed "You've got the completely wrong end of the stick. He's the one that helped me cover them up, but he had nothing to do with it." Kellin breathed a visible sigh of relief and relaxed. His mind had clearly been racing since I lied at lunch, and i was glad I could set the record straight before he let his thoughts develop. 

"Okay, phew" his gaze went to the side of my face, where he could just about make it out under the makeup "So if it wasn't him, who the hell was it? And don't give me that lie you told at lunch, because it was easy to see straight through that one." 

"That er, drug dealer and I met again the other day round Dewees house and it didn't end so well" I admitted, knowing that it would help to at least be honest with one of my friends. 

"Seriously? Fuck." 

"Yeah..." 

"Why didn't he like, kill you?" Kellin's question probably wasn't the most reassuring thing to hear "I mean, you know who he is and what he does... how did you get off with just a few bruises?" 

"He's roping me into all this shit with his gang, it's probably better you don't know the details but it's not looking great at the moment. I'll figure out a way out of it all though, don't worry" I rushed at the end in reassurance, not needing another person worrying on my behalf "And in the meantime i'm sure i'll cope." 

"Well if you ever need anything then i've got your back" he sighed "I mean it too. If you need to come stay for a bit or you need me to lend you some money then I know my parent's pin numbers and they're never home anyway and-" 

"Kellin, it's fine, really. But thank you for the offer" i cut him off before he ended up offering me more than he should.

Luckily Oli came back into the room at that point, armed with guitars, and we had to choice but to drop the topic and turn back to something more lighthearted and exactly what I was in need of.

***

It was as I was walking out of the college campus that my phone started to ring, and I needed only glance down at it in order for my heart to sink. For there, on the caller id, I could clearly see Ian's name, alongside the very number he'd punched into the phone the previous day.

Part of me didn't want to answer - to toss my phone into the nearest river and pretend like it never happened. But I knew I would only be making things worse for myself. He knew my name and so would easily be able to find out my address, along with whatever information he'd force out of Dewees, and then i'd have hell to pay for ignoring him. 

Really, I had no choice but to answer. 

"Hello?" I kept my voice at a steady, neutral tone. 

"You alone Iero?" If I'd thought my voice lacked emotion, it was nothing compared to his. There was this sterile tone to it that I was sure was a result of his ruthless behaviour over time, making him seem even more sinister to me. 

"Yes." 

"Good. I need you to go over to Dewees house and pick a package up from there. He'll know which one it is. Don't let yourself be followed and don't bring anyone with you, got it?" 

"Yes." 

"Then you're going to take the package and you're going to hide it overnight, I don't care where, but at five am tomorrow morning you're going to be standing under the bridge that goes across the river in the town centre with that package. You won't be late unless you want me to rip those piercings out of your face for you." My hand instantly flew to my lip ring with a shudder as I knew he was in no way exaggerating when he made the threat. 

"Ok" I mumbled "How many people am I meeting there?" 

"I've got two guys coming to collect it and they mean business, so if you even try to fuck them around they won't hesitant in teaching you a lesson. And neither will I for that matter. So, do you understand?" 

"Go to Dewees, get this package, take it and hide it, get down to the bridge for 5am and hand it over" I recited back to him. 

"Good. They've already paid so you won't need to worry about getting any money in exchange. Just do the job and get out of there. Don't let me down Iero, because this is your only chance. I don't allow for any fuck-ups in this line of business." He hung up the phone before I could even reply, which just made me feel even more nervous. 

Despite this, I shoved my phone back into my pocket, pulled my bag up on my shoulder, and turned to head in the opposite direction of the church, instead heading straight for the bridge, and whatever fate awaited me there. 

_____________________________________________________________________


	39. 39

Chapter Thirty Nine

When I got to Dewees house, I wasn't really sure what to expect. Especially when i banged on the door repeatedly for a good two minutes but got no reply. I knew he had to be in though, otherwise Ian wouldn't have sent me. 

"Dewees?" I hollered through the letterbox, struggling to see anything through the tiny gap "it's Frank, open up!" 

I waited about another minute before I finally heard the sound of the bolt sliding across, and the door was opened, but only partially. Dewees stood in the crack, looking even worse than last time i'd seen him. The bruises on his face had turned a yellow shade, but that wasn't what made me sigh. It was his bloodshot eyes, shaking hands and mildly spaced out expression that told me he'd hit the drugs hard in an attempt to deal with it all. 

"Frank" he gulped, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me into the house. The moment I was over the threshold he slammed the door behind me, as if it would somehow help the situation "Ian rang... said you were coming... Didn't realise he meant now I...." He stumbled and slurred over his words. 

"Well that much is obvious, I doubt you'd have got so high if you knew I was coming over" I raised an eyebrow at him "I can't exactly preach at you right now, but I still think you should stop." I didn't want Dewees to get high enough that he made mistakes, especially as he was basically the person I now relied on to keep me out of juvie. 

"Right. Yeah. Sure thing" he blatantly lied, but I chose to ignore it for now and get on with what I actually needed. 

"So er, as much as i'd like to stay and make small chat, what do I need to pick up?" I glanced around his house, which seemed to be in it's usual mess, wondering where everything must be stashed. 

"Oh. Yeah" He turned and started to scurry over to the bathroom. I waited in the hallway and listened to him as he rummaged around in here "Ian told me you'd need the red-labelled bag. It's just... ah! Here it is!" He came out of the bathroom with a sealed black plastic bag, much like the ones you use to send clothes in, expect i'd be kidding myself if I believed for one second that this was a mere band shirt. 

"Okay" I grabbed it from him and stowed it away into my bag "er, I better go. No doubt I'll see you again soon though." 

"Yeah. Er, good luck with that" He gestured to my bag. 

"Thanks" I sighed "I think i'm going to need it."

*** 

It was 4:55am, and I was sliding down the bank of a bridge. 

Normally I never would've dreamt of getting up so early, but it actually worked out better this way. I could get down to the bridge, hand over the bag and get home before James and Isabel even realised i'd gone out. 

When I got to the bridge, the nerves had fully hit. Up till then i'd just pushed them to the back of my mind and told myself to man up, that this was far better than any alternative. Of course, this was true, but it didn't make it pleasant when I scrambled down the bank, quickly regretting wearing my jeans that were ripped at the knees. I guessed muddy knees were the least of my problems though. 

Hey - maybe the mud would hide the bruises I still had from the unexpected church blow job that had taken place a week or so previously. 

Thinking of Gerard sent a new wave of determination through me as i realised I had to do this for him. If i told the police about Ian then i'd be sent into witness protection immediately. Now, if you'd given me that option when I first arrived at James and Isabel's house, I would've jumped at it. It would've meant getting away from all of them and being relocated, preferably without my parents, and then I wouldn't have James breathing down my neck every five minutes. 

But of course it wasn't so simple anymore. Now I was in love, and love makes you do the stupidest things, which apparently now included getting involved with drugs exchanges in order to be able to stay close to them. 

It was all worth it if I got to stay in that sleepy town though. If it meant I could keep seeing Gerard, hold onto the friends that I had miraculously seemed to acquire, then i'd grit my teeth and bear it. 

The spot underneath the bridge was secluded and somewhat dark, despite the rising sun. Despite the traffic whizzing by above it, the place had an air of privacy and peace, although I knew it wouldn't last long. I couldn't help but think to myself about what greats walls these would make to practice tagging on, but these thoughts were soon jolted from my mind when I heard the crunch of footsteps coming from ahead. 

Three men were walking towards me from the other end of the underpass, and by the nonchalant steps they took i guessed that they'd bene waiting for me to arrive. I ignored the nerves that ran through me when i realised that meant they'd been watching me scramble down to the meeting spot the whole time, and instead kept my expression neutral. 

I didn't want them to know they scared me, so I kept my gaze hard, not breaking eye contact with them no matter how badly I wanted to glance down at my feet. I even forced myself to keep my hands out of my pockets and my feet still, knowing they'd easily pick up on all of the telltale signals. 

"Frank, right?" The guy standing in the middle asked. He had a haggard-looking face, with a greasy mop of thin hair that had probably been cut himself whilst leaning his head over the sink. Of course, this just made him seem hardened to me, knowing he wasn't one to care for such things. His two companions were much the same, and i doubted they were really the type to ever glance into mirrors, except perhaps when checking to see if their eyes were bloodshot. 

"yeah" I gave a small nod "Ian sent me." it felt weird to say that, as if me and Ian were on some sort of good terms, as if I worked for him, with I guess technically I did now. I tried to keep the distaste out of my words, knowing it would only cause them to probe me for more information. I just wanted to be out of there as fast as possible, and if that meant pretending there was no bad blood between us then so be it.

"I know" he glanced at my bag "let's get this over with then shall we? You look like a newbie and I really don't have time to reassure you over every last detail of your job." 

"Okay" I nodded, zipping open my bag whilst cursing at myself when I noticed how much my hand was shaking. It was apparent that he noticed this too, because when I handed over the bag both he and the guy on his left chuckled quietly. 

"Kid, you look like you need this even more than half my clients do" He spoke as he ripped open the bag, rummaging around inside and checking the contents. From the look of satisfaction on his face, I could only assume that it was all up to standard. 

"Yeah, well, if that's all then I best get going-" I tried not to stutter. 

"Wait a sec" he held up his hand, freezing me on the spot as I glanced nervously between him and the two men standing at his flanks. "Oh don't shit yourself kid, I just want to help you out" he rolled his eyes at my nerves, and began to rummage around in his own bag. 

Moments later he pulled out a small plastic bag full of weed "here you go, try it sometime. Hell, i'll even give it to you on the house as it's your first time." There was a glint to his eyes that told me he'd done this hundred of times before, and that he was eyeing me up as a potential customer. 

"Oh, i'm fine thanks" I tried to politely decline. 

"Just take it" The guy on his left spoke up "we don't just offer this stuff out for free to anyone you know." 

"And if you really don't want it then give it to that Dewees kid, I know he'll appreciate the tip" The guy on the right decided to join in at this point. 

"You heard them" the leader shoved the drugs into my hand "now scoot." 

I didn't need to be told twice. In fact I hurled myself up that bank at an alarming speed and as soon as i knew I was out of sight of them, I shoved the weed into the very depths of my bag where I knew i'd never use it. I didn't want to give it to Dewees, so I figured i'd lie and just say I smoked it. 

***

When I got back to the house everyone was just starting to get up for the day, so I crept in through the backdoor and quickly discarded my coat and shoes before messing up my hair so it looked like I'd only just got out of bed. 

"Morning" I jumped and turned to see Ray standing in the doorway, his eyebrow raised "do I need to give you a talk on sneaking out to fuck your boyfriend at stupid o'clock in the morning now?" 

"Keep it down!" i hissed, moving past him into the kitchen, where he followed me. 

"No, you keep it down! I heard you sneaking out of here at like four thirty in the morning, why didn't you just wait until after school?" I realised it was best to just go with his false conclusion, as I didn't want to let on that Gerard wasn't the only secret I was keeping. 

"Desperate times I guess" i shrugged as I began to make myself a coffee "Brian's been breathing down gerard's neck about a load of paperwork he'd forgotten to do, i'd left my school bag round his house, went to pick it up and got distracted" i rushed my explanation with my back to him, hoping he wouldn't see how much I hated to lie to him yet again. 

"Of course you did" he laughed "Just try to be a bit more careful next time? if I heard you sneaking out then you're lucky my parents didn't too." 

"Will do" i said through a mouthful of toast. He looked like he was going to say more, but at that point the sound of James's footsteps on the stairs became apparent, and we both knew it was time to shut up and move on to a new conversation. Or in James's ideal reality, just not speak to each other at all. 

I quickly made my disseverance up to my bedroom, passing him briefly on the stairs without so much as a word spoken between us. This seemed to be our way of coping with each other these days; to just blatantly ignore. 

Seeing as I was already ready to go, I opened up my laptop and decided to message Pete. We'd had a few brief Skype conversations over the past couple of weeks, but I missed being able to hang out with him and just tell him everything that was going on. 

He couldn't Skype me as he was round Patrick's, but he told me the two of them were going well and that he was in the process of convincing his parents to bring him on a family holiday to London so he could come and visit. The thought of getting to see him again definitely cheered me up, to the point that when I walked past James to leave for college, I didn't even bother to scowl. 

______________________________________________  
there will probably be one more chapter after this and then the sequel :)


	40. 40

Forty.

That afternoon I found myself getting fucked by a priest. I wish I could say I found this in any way surprising, but to be honest this was now a normal thing to me (not that it meant I enjoyed it any less though.)

"Fuck" I groaned as he slammed into me again, hands gripping my hair with such a strong force I worried he'd rip some out in a minute. I couldn't really talk though, not with the way I was holding onto his thighs. I'd be surprised if they didn't bruise afterwards, especially when I dug my nails into his pale flesh, feeling his pulse racing faster and faster with each movement our bodies made against one another.

"So.. So close I..." He trailed off, losing his train of though as the pressure started to build inside him to a blinding level.

I'd developed a bit of an addiction for letting Gerard dominate me recently. There were these moments where he made me call him father that I lived for, especially when he wore the collar and played rough. I guess there were kinky depths to my personality that were only now being fully awakened, as even the idea of this would get me hard in moments. Of course, I didn't need to imagine right at that moment as it was happening right before me.

"Gee-" I gaped, reaching out and grabbing onto one of the pillows on his bed. I needed something, anything, to truly rip into with my nails, and I certainly didn't want to hurt him.

I just hope the pillow hadn't been expensive.

"So tight I-" he finally released into me with moans and groans that made me come all over myself without a care in the world. I couldn't help it when he insisted on yelling out like that - especially when he was sweaty enough that his black hair stuck to his face with a glistening shine, lips parted and eyes dark.

He just looked down at our entangled bodies, having pulled out by this point, and leaned over to chuck the condom in the bin.

"Here" he handed me some tissues and took a few for himself, and together we started to wipe ourselves of any remaining fluids. "You can use the shower in a minute if you like."

"Sure" I nodded, breath slowly returning to it's normal pace. I was still floating in that limbo of ecstasy though, where the only thing that mattered was me and Gerard, and anything else either didn't exist or was seen through rose-tinted vision. I just wished I could always feel that great, but it was a feeling only ever achieved at moments like that, when his arm was loosely draped over me in a casual manner. The way he looked over at me was enough to sustain my high, especially when he moved closer to me, pulling our bodies together in a resting position. 

Honestly, i don't think any drugs could ever come close to the emotions he made me experience. Or perhaps he was just my sort of drug. Hopefully not quite as lethal though. He was certainly a secret though, an addiction i didn't need anyone to find out about just yet. 

Luckily for me i was pretty sure a rehab for teenagers was a priest kink wasn't a thing, or I knew James and Isabel would be packing my bags for me the moment they found out. And I wasn't stupid, I knew they would eventually, when the time was right. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, taking in my dazed expression. 

"The future I guess" I sighed "For us, that is." 

"And why are you troubling yourself over that?" he raised an eyebrow "there really is no use in worrying over ifs and maybes you know." 

"Yeah, I get that. I was just thinking about what we're going to do when we have to tell my aunt and uncle. I mean, when are where would we even start? How would we even begin to explain something like this without one of them having a minor stroke?" 

"Look, we don't need to worry about that until October-" 

"You say that, but my birthday is only three months away now" I'd had this revelation a few days previously, when I saw the date glaring up at me from my phone, telling me that soon enough i'd be eighteen, and then i'd have a shit ton of damage control on my hands. 

"I know, but that means only three more months of sneaking around. Then even if someone does find out about us, they won't be able to do anything. We can just lie and say we waited until you turned Eighteen" he ran his fingers along my arm "but if you want to keep it from your family for a while longer then that's okay too. I mean, we don't want anything getting out until we've sorted out how i'm going to get around it all at work." 

"I thought me turning Eighteen would solve everything, but the closer it comes the more i'm starting to realise that it does very little" I gave a groan of defeat, although part of it was due to me suppressing a shiver every time his fingers trailed up and down my arm. 

"Very little is better than nothing" he shrugged "come on Frankie, you're suppose to be the optimistic one out of the two of us, but recently you've been nothing but negative about the whole situation. What happened to not caring about what anyone thinks?" 

"Of course I don't care what others think. I'm just really stressed at the moment and you pretending like it's all going to be smooth sailing doesn't help matters" i snapped, and I could feel him recoiling slightly from me, which of course just made me feel worse. 

"I'm sorry, I know you're stressed. I am too, but we'll get through it. I'm trying to keep a positive mindset here" his voice had grown quieter when he spoke next, something I hated to notice. 

"i'm sorry i snapped at you. It's just this whole thing with Ian... i'm trying not to let it get to me and that's proving harder than I thought." I guess you always end up taking it out on those closest to you, and for me Gerard was as close as close could get. I was determined not to take it out on him again though - I just needed to get out and do some tagging to keep my mind off the subject. 

"At least the drug drop went okay" He sighed into the crook of my neck. I'd already brought him up to speed on my antics, and he was horrified to know that Ian had me doing his runs for him now. I knew he was trying not to think about it too much as there was nothing he could do, but knowing him that just meant he was pondering it even more. 

"It must have done for him to tip me like that" I sighed, thinking back to the drugs stuffed into the bottom of my back, hidden away in the bottom of my wardrobe at home. I knew they'd probably remain there for a very long time to come. Until i found some way of disposing of them without running the risk of getting caught. I knew I could just flush them down the toilet, but i was uneasy about throwing the so-called tip down the drain in case it was asked after again. 

"Just don't touch that stuff, ok?" 

"Trust me, after seeing Dewees the other day I am never going near it" I sighed, thinking back to the mess my friend was rapidly becoming. "I guess i'll leave that part to whoever is receiving the stuff on the other end." 

"I hate this mess" He pulled me closer to him. 

"Me too" I admitted "but i love you more than I hate the drug drops, so it's worth it in the end." 

***

When I got home that night, it was to an unexpected crisis. 

I'd stayed longer than i probably should have with Gerard, which is why when I stepped into the kitchen and saw my aunt and uncle sat at the table expectantly, i immediately thought it would be another lecture on my punctuality. However when my eyes drifted to Ray, who was sitting near the doorway and wearing a look of sheer warning, i knew something must have been up. There was a wide look to his eyes, telling me I would've been better off not coming back at all. 

"Hey" I tried to force a smile, but my attempt was met with nothing but serious, sombre looks from both my relatives. 

"Sit down Frank" James all but growled "We need to talk. Properly." 

"What is this, an intervention?" I rolled my eyes and ignored the offer of the chair, instead leaning against the kitchen counter "what do you want this time?" 

"You never take us seriously, do you?" there was a tired tone to Isabel's voice, like she was done with having to put up with me. Of course, there was also anger mixed in with that tiredness, and perhaps it was the combination of the two that made me pay closer attention.

"Why?" i made a conscious effort not to cross my arms, roll my eyes or let any sarcasm drip into my tone. Instead I wore a guarded expression, readying myself for whatever storm was about to hit. I knew the signs - i'd been through similar interventions with my parents before.

"Frank, we agreed to take you in because we thought we could help you" James started, which didn't surprise me "We thought this could be a chance for you to set things straight. But of course you never saw things that way did you?"

"Just cut to the point" I sighed "I don't need to hear my own story retold."

"The graffiti we could handle Frank. The... sexuality. The drinking. We kind of expected as much. But you've crossed the line for good this time, and we just can't accept you anymore" and with that he placed a bag on the table separating us.

The same bag I had assumed was still buried in the back of my wardrobe. 

"Oh" for once in my life, i really didn't know how to excuse myself. 

"Drugs Frank?" Isabel said in a high pitched tone, as if the house was fucking bugged or something "and not just taking them, but hiding them in our house?" 

"How did you-" 

"I was cleaning" She snapped, cutting me off "I thought your schoolbag might need a quick wash, and instead i find this" she gestured to the clear bag "I really did expect better from you. I thought you were getting better, but now we can see clearly that there's nothing we can do for you." 

"Look, wait -" I knew i had to make some sort of excuse up quickly if i wanted to ever be able to recover from this one. 

"No, we're done listening to your excuses" James all but shouted at me "We can't have an influence like you in the house with our son around. Not when you're on drugs too, as if the rest wasn't enough" He shook his head "We've tried Frank. But now it's over. Pack your bags." 

"Pack my bags?" I was shouting too by this point "You know what? Fuck you both. I will packs my bags and leave. I always did want out of this shithole. But don't expect me to ever come back, or even speak to you again." 

"We can't get hold of your parents right now to arrange flights but-" 

"Don't bother" i cut her off "I'll stay with friends. I have less than a year left at college and i can't afford to leave now." 

"Fine" James snapped "You're not our problem anymore. Do what you want." He threw both his hands in the air in surrender. I guess it was literally that easy for him to clean his hands of me. He'd never really wanted me around anyway, and neither had Isabel to a certain extent. They just wanted to help my parents. 

I wondered how long he'd been wanting to do this. Just kick me out and go back to their seemingly-perfect family life. I turned to where Ray was stood, a blank expression on his face that I couldn't decipher. Was he mad at me? Sad to see me go? Did he believe I was on drugs, or was he just keeping out of the drama for his own sake? 

"Good" I spat, and with that I stormed past them all, up the stairs, and then to my room, where I slammed the door behind me. 

It didn't take me long to gather up my things, packing them all into the same bags i'd carried when I first moved to England months ago. I shoved anything I wanted or needed, leaving a few pieces of clothing that I no longer cared for. Once that was all done I pulled on my backpack and surveyed the room before me. 

It had been my home for the past few months, and although I wasn't sad to be leaving that house, I still felt mildly sentimental for the bed I had tossed and turned in as I fretted over everything from Gerard to Ian. 

However my anger was stronger than any other emotions, so i soon found myself storming back down the stairs like some sort of animated character, chest puffed out and a scowl across my face. Ray seemed to have disappeared within the time I took packing, but James and Isabel were standing in the kitchen.

Isabel looked mildy distressed as she took in my bags, but James showed no remorse. 

"Well?" I stood there expectantly "Did you have something to say or are you just going to stare some more?" 

"I think we've already seen enough" James just snapped, and I considered even trying to explain a fraction of what was going on with Ian, but I knew he wouldn't believe me for one second. Even if I told the complete truth, he'd think I was just trying to make up excuses. 

So I held my breath and bit my tongue, because I never did want their trust anyway, so it's not like I was really losing much. If anything I guessed that the drugs were just my ticket out of there, and I was about to take it. 

"Fine. Goodbye then" I moved past them and out of the door. I don't know why, but part of me was almost disappointed when nobody came after me, or at least said a goodbye in return. Instead I walked down that driveway alone, and out onto the road as if i'd never even stepped foot in the house before. 

I just swallowed any emotions that were threatening to rear their ugly heads and kept walking, reminding myself that I didn't need blood relatives to have a family.

If I'd lost my family, i'd just have to make a new one. A better one, full of people who understood me and cared for me.

I told myself that this was the wakeup call I needed. I needed to turn things around and stop letting myself get dragged under the current. Of course, I was going to have to learn how to drown before I learned how to swim, but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make. 

END. 

FIRSTLY, DON'T PANIC THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL. 

The sequel's called "Ashes To Ashes" and by the time you get here it should be uploaded onto AO3 in full as it's just a case of copying it over from my wattpad   
So yeah, hope you enjoyed and please check it out!


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